Eyes on Fire

She supposed pain was just a consequence of love and she didn't know how to block out the emotions she desperately tried to dismiss. She wanted to blame cruel fate for playing with her heart – holding her dear one day and leaving her the next – but she knew it was her fault for not knowing what she had. He wasn't her everything until she became his nothing.

"I was trying to protect you!" She tried to sound strong but her voice sound so vulnerable. "I didn't mean to lie to you."

"The truth hurts, but I rather be in constant pain than lied to my entire life!" He yelled at her in complete anger. She could smell the scent of coffee on him. They always loved coffee.

"I'm so sorry!" She pleaded as she forced back her tears. "Forgive me, it won't happen again. I promise."

He turned his back to her, and in that moment she was terrified that he would just leave her.

"I'm sorry too but I think we need a break," He said, she heard her heart break little by little in the quietness of the room as he continued to speak. "We had too much time on our hands; we spent too much time with each other and not enough time for ourselves."

He turned to look at her and even she could see that this wasn't easy for him.

"But Jerome! Please!" She whimpered as full tears started running down her face. "It was an accident! A big, horrible, irreversible accident, but still! Don't I deserve a little forgiveness?" She reached and wrapped her fingers around his arm, and heard him whimper as she tightened her grip. "Please. I love you."

Her voice crack as she uttered those few last words. Those words once sounded like the most wonderful and enchanting words he ever heard but now, looking at her and remembering how she betrayed him, he didn't know anymore. He loved her. He did but was it worth it? Was she worth it? Of course she was! What was he thinking?! Mara was worth it. He loved her but was the pain worth it? That was the real question.

"Mara, we're together now, but that doesn't mean we'll be together until the end." He said, and he knew just by looking at the quiver of her lips as he said those words that that wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Nothing can guarantee forever. It doesn't exist! Out of all people you should know that, you're the smart one in this relationship. "

She looked at him and she couldn't argue with him. What was the probability of them being together for the next twenty years?

"So what are you trying to say?" Were the only words she could muster up to say. She was terrified of what his answer might be but she had a strong feeling that she wasn't going to like it.

"I'm saying I don't know" He answered truly. "I should have been enough for you, Jaffray."

"But you are!" She exclaimed. "You are. You're my one and only."

"I'm not so sure about that." He shook his head.

She watched him contemplate her words and felt like he didn't believe her. The next thing she knew she was doing, she slapped him across the face. Not hard but enough to sting a little.

"I love you and don't you dare ever question that! I love you and it hurts me seeing you doubt it." She said, her voice regaining its strength. "That's why I did it! That's why I lied; I was trying to protect you because I love you and if that's a crime then lock me up. But don't you ever doubt my love for you! I will never regret doing it because I did it because I love you."

He stared at her for a moment and suddenly all the hurt he felt slowly evaporated as he could feel the earnestness in her words. He knew she loved him; both loved one another so deeply that sometimes it felt as if they were designed for one another.

It was funny how many times they fought and how many times they made up because of small little things that made both of them happy and forgive and forget. But this was one thing he wasn't willing to forgive and forget.

"I'm sorry, Mara but I need time to think about it." He explained. He could see the teardrops shine in her eyes like hopeless search lights.

"But this isn't the end." She said.

"But what if I want it to be?"

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

She heard her heart shatter, "You don't mean that. Do you? Answer me!"

"I don't know!" He yelled. "The only thing I know is that I love you, Mara but what you did. You lied to me! I'm not sure if I can trust you anymore."

As his voice hit her ears once again it all became too much.

"So is this it, then?" She asked, taking deep breaths. Counting.

One.

Two.

Three.

The more she counted the less she couldn't breathe however her pride was returning to her and walls were up now. She didn't want to look like a desperate fool in front of him anymore.

"Fine!" She finally screamed, the tears in her eyes felt like acid.

She finally gave up. Her breath died inside her lungs.

Both couldn't seem to understand how love could be so unkind to the both of them but maybe it really was their fate.

Mistakes were made but weren't forgiven fully and that was what set their hearts on fire.

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