Hello all. First Walking Dead fanfic. Let me know what you think.

Chapter 1 – One Day

Pain. God, the pain.

It radiated like a fire, burning up his arm in streaks that made Gareth gasp and sputter. It hurt so bad. He clutched at his wounded left hand, trying to somehow stanch the blood flow. Gareth could see his fingers and he stared at them for a second...

Then looked back at his hand.

Bloody rings of raw meat stared back at him from where his index and middle finger used to be.

He looked back up a Rick, who stared down at him mercilessly, gun in one hand, the other resting on the red handle of a machete. Moonlight fell through the church windows, giving the tall leader an eerie glow. Gareth knelt there, clutching his left hand. The smell of wood and must filling his nostrils.

"No point in begging right?" He choked out, trying to maintain his composure while the fire ate through his arm.

"No." Rick replied. The word was final, an ultimatum.

"Still, You could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that." Gareth could feel the desperation creeping into his voice. Coldness was settling in his stomach, in stark contrast with the burning of his hand.

"We didn't want to waste the bullets."

The explanation hit Gareth hard, bowling him over inside. The coldness was spreading and turning to panic. As the dread took over his being, a realization hit Gareth. A very small, yet at the same time monumental, realization.

He wanted to live.

Gareth wanted to live so badly, that he was willing to do anything to do it. Even become a cannibal. Not only be willing to eat other humans, but lure them in, hunt them down, and slaughter them. Gareth had simply accepted that this was how it was now, but never thought about the reason behind his decision. Why? Why had he thrown away his humanity.

He wanted to live. Death absolutely terrified him.

But Gareth hadn't always been this way.

"We used to help people, we saved people." Gareth paused, staring up at Rick through his sweaty brown hair, "Things changed. They came in and -" Gareth's voice broke, gasping. His chest heaved without his consent, a small sob catching in his throat. He could feel the tears catch. The sound of Martin breathing heavily next to him bought Gareth back. Martin was scared too. The reality of their imminent death had just hit baseball capped man as well. Gareth glanced over and saw Martin shiver slightly. The pretty black girl, Sasha, stood over him with a knife. The anger in her eyes was murderous.

No. Gareth would not cry.

And he would not beg.

"You don't know what they did."

"Torture... Murder..." Rick looked down at him from the barrel of his gun. "We know-"

"Starve us." Gareth cut Rick off. "Rape- ….."

Gareth thought of his mother. He remembered being trapped in that train car, listening to her screams outside as those demons had their way with her. Over and over again. Gareth had almost gone mad, clutching Alex to keep himself grounded. But that torment had been nothing compared to when they had brought Mary back, unconscious and bloody.

Their gluttonous appetites still not sated.

"And not just the women." Gareth continued, breath barely a whisper.

Martin jerked next to him, "Shut up, Gareth." His voice was an angry growl, but underneath there was hurt and sadness.

Gareth looked over at him, their eyes meeting for the briefest of moments. As much as they didn't always get along, Gareth's group shared an unspoken bond, cemented by fierce loyalty and the same desire to live. The things they had gone through together made them forever connected, like soldiers who had braved war together. Gareth looked back up at Rick, now reassured and strengthened by his comrades.

"After that... I know that you've been out there, but I can see it." His voice turned to steel, "You don't know what it means to be hungry."

Gareth heard the door behind Rick crack open slightly and with a quick glance he saw Gabriel, the priest, staring out at him. Those dark eyes were haunting, frightened and full of sadness.

"You don't have to do this." Gareth said, trying to make his voice as convincing as possible while staring into Gabriel's scared eyes. He could see the doubt creeping into the black man's face. Gareth looked back up at Rick. "We can walk away and we will never cross path's again. I promise you."

"But you'll cross somebody's path. You'd do this to anyone." Rick's gun hand holstered his weapon, while the other rested itself back on the red handled machete. "Besides I already made you a promise."

In a silver flash, the blade was whipped from Rick's belt and swung upwards in a graceful ark. Then it was falling. Falling. Coming for him. To kill him.

"NOOOO" Gareth could hear his voice. His scream.

But his wasn't the only one.

Suddenly Father Gabriel rushed forward.

"STOP NOW!" The frail man's voice was strong for once, commanding. It was so sudden, that Rick actually paused and turned, his blue eyes curiously confused.

Gabriel hesitated, reverting back to his cowardly self. "I... I-I just..." He looked around, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"This is the Lord's house."

Tension hung in the church air like a suffocating fog. The silence was almost too much for Gareth to bear as his mind tried to wrap around the fact that he had almost died, yet was amazingly still alive. His breath was rapid and shallow, his heart beating like a hummingbird's.

"No" Martin snapped suddenly, "It's four walls and a roof."

Martin then lunged at Sasha, baseball cap flying as he tried to grab the knife from her hand. Rick was there in a flash, plunging the machete deep into his back with a sickening squelch. When Rick yanked it backwards, Martin's back exploded with blood that splattered all over the nearby pews. All over the church pandemonium broke out as Gareth's comrades were butchered in the most brutal ways. Father Gabriel's voice could be heard, shrieking "No! No!" No!" over and over again. As Gareth sank to the floor he saw Abraham smashing in Liz's head with the butt of his rifle. Sasha was back on her feet and repeatedly hacking away at a dying Martin's chest.

Gareth suddenly realized that Rick was coming back for him, machete raised. And in that moment, time slowed down for him. The thundering of Rick's boots, the silver swing of the machete, the horrendous moans of pain from the people who looked to Gareth for leadership as they were butchered.

You're either the butcher or the cattle...

"I am cattle..." Gareth whispered to himself.

A dark hand gasped Rick's wrist. Gareth blinked. The bearded man jumped slightly and then turned, violently jerking himself away from whoever dared to touch him while he was in this state of mind.

"No. Please, NO." Gabriel gasped, "No more. Please." The black man's brow was beaded with heavy sweat, his eyes moist with his falling tears.

It was only then that Gareth realized he had pushed himself onto his back, palms raised upward. He looked at his hand again, his two missing fingers on his left hand... Everything had happened so fast and been so chaotic that Gareth had not even remembered that he was left handed. The two main fingers on his dominant hand were gone. He almost felt like laughing, while he stared at the gaping circular wounds, but found his eyes watering instead.

Pitiful, weak sobs racked his slender frame as he lay there. He moved from his prone position, sprawled out on the floor, to his side while cradling his injured hand to his chest.

"No more." Gabriel repeated breathlessly. He watched as Gareth laid his head down on the floor.

"Out of the way." Rick's tone was terrifying.

"I am a sinner." Gabriel's weak voice shook, "We are all sinners. As penance of my crimes, the Lord has sent all of you to punish me. My guilt is like a plague upon my soul and I can not let anyone else die upon my watch. I will take responsibility of this man, heal him, and try to save his soul to make myself right again with Our Father."

Rick squinted slightly. Gareth could tell, even in his overwhelmed state, that Rick was thinking. The grip he had on the machete was hard and tense. Gareth knew that Rick wanted nothing more than to sink it's blade into his chest. However, the bearded leader had paused, a contemplative look overtaking his rigid face. Was he actually considering this?

"He killed Bob!" Sasha broke in, suddenly furious.

"No." Gabriel, countered, "Bob was bit and would have died anyways."

Sasha's beautiful face screwed up, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "You son of a bitch." She bought up the knife, but Rick's raised hand stopped her.

"You know what priest, it's about time you tasted the world," Rick's drawl made the words slow and foreboding, "You want to... to save him. Fine. Save him"

Rick looked from Gabriel to Gareth. The man's blue eyes were steel and ice. Gareth shivered and looked away. The sound of Rick's steady steps on the hard wood of the church floor made Gareth look back up. He flinched as Rick's hand shot out and grabbed his jaw firmly and raised him off the floor slightly. Their noses were almost touching.

"I did make you a promise though," Rick's warm breath hit Gareth in the face. Gareth's wide brown eyes met Rick's slowly. "I will keep it. One day."

Rick then shoved the younger man away, the back of Gareth's head hitting the wooden floor with a loud thunk.

The last thing Gareth heard before the world faded to black was Rick's steady boots reverberating through cold floor, his low growl of a voice beating through Gareth's sanity.

"He's all yours Father."

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