Bored! Bored! Bored!

A little cracky, so please be a little tolerant of certain impossibilities.

Sherlock

Somebody else

Sherlock was halfway through finding an alternative derivation of the Clausius–Clapeyron equation when he received a text. At the noise of a wanton moan as Sherlock's text alert (somebody played a prank, he had told his mother), the librarian looked past the end of her nose and through her thickset glasses that made her look like an owl. She furiously pointed to the sign saying "No Porn in the library".

Sherlock rolled his eyes. As if people came to watch porn in the library.

And then he recalled a guy who wanked off to anatomy texts on the female reproductory system. How could such people exist?

Sherlock turned his phone to silent and checked the text.

Hi

Sherlock frowned at that. Since when did people say 'hi' to him, even if he wasn't there in front of them to make them shit their pants?

He typed back. Who's this?

The reply was almost after Sherlock had given up on the person on the other side of the phone, Seb.

Dnt tl me tht u cant recgnse me :(

God, the nerve of such people. Did they not have autocorrect, just so that their spelling could be a little more decent?

Sorry I don't know any Seb

This time, the reply was almost instantaneous, as if Seb had been typing all the time since Sherlock had begun to type.

Frgt ur frnds frm Edinbrg ya?

Sherlock was tempted to reply back that one question mark was enough to send the meaning across, but didn't do so.

Wht

Wait ur Jim right

I've never heard your name.

No I'm not

Sherlock put his phone back as the librarian showed him another sign, "No phones in the library."

Sherlock's eyes flickered to where she had been playing Candy Crush Saga on her phone, "Yes ma'am."

He usually didn't have his phone on silent. At any rate, he wasn't used to people calling or texting him. Mycroft had specific hours. And he had put Mummy's number on call divert so that she would bother Mycroft instead. So much for people talking on the phone.

Bt ur numbr in my phn is saved as jim

Sherlock sighed. He knew it. The retailer had given him an old number since it was Sherlock's first phone. An old used number. Why would he do that, when clearly he could profit more by giving him a new number and. . . of course, the old SIM costed more and he wouldn't have to pay the company that amount. Stupid!

I got this number today, So there's no chance you could've got it saved in your mobile.

Mayb my frnd changed hius number and u gt his number

Yes, what a genius! Did it really take him that long to figure it out? Now he was going to have to talk as well as text with idiots? He hadn't signed up for this when he decided Cambridge for himself!

Maybe. He wanted to add the further corrections but restrained himself. So long.

If u dnt mind may i know who u r

Yes I mind, thank you very much, because you're not letting me study the properties of real gases. My name is nobody. And I don't mind.

Lol

Sorry btw

It's alright

Fr disturbing

Sherlock stared at the screen of his phone. It sounded like it was alright for disturbing. Sherlock decided to clarify that.

Just to be clear, it's not alright for disturbing.

Wht

Sherlock sighed. What was only a four-letter word. ONLY A GODDAMNED FOUR-LETTER WORD!

Never mind.

And the librarian swooped in like the barn owl she was and snatched away Sherlock's phone in her talon-like nails. Sherlock slumped against the chair. That could've gone better. Well done.

Long time no see.

Sherlock peered at his phone. Had someone put up his number at a friendship website as a joke. Well, boo hoo to them.

My thoughts precisely. Who're you?

What?

At least this one was better than the last Seb or somebody, if not for a limited intelligence. Who's this?

S dis jim?

Sherlock took his words back. No better than the last one. He decided to make himself clear.

No, this is not Jim. I've had another friend of his contact me and I told them that I'm not

Oh

Actly dis ws hisno

Like he needed to be told. At least this one was not a tubelight like the last one.

No.

Maybe hes chngd it

Great, they could tell themselves that without texts, couldn't they? Sherlock wasn't interested. Not in the slightest.

He has settld smwhr else nw

Cn u tl e tht frnd name

Sherlock decided to indulge this person. Seb or something.

I really don't know any Jim.

Please inform that to all your friends.

Oh.

Sherlock waited for the reassurance that she would tell it to all her friends, but none came.

Hello. :D

Sherlock decided to ignore it.

Hi. . . its Molly

Sherlock gave such a start that the more effective itching powder he had been creating slipped from his fingers and the test tube crashed on his feet. He resisted the urge to scratch his feet, knowing that it would be ten minutes and the effect would subdue. But God, it was hard. Resisting the allure of scratching itches, very, very hard.

So hard.

I don't know ant Molly

Sherlock cursed himself. This itching business was making him lose his mind. He hated this Jim guy.

Any Molly. He added.

Remember me?

No.

Who the hell are you?

Jeff Hope

From London

Sherlock decided to play a game, the sort that should break a friend's heart.Hey

No I don't remember you

Hey thats wierd. . . arent you Jim Moriarty nd u hav a boyfrnd in Cmbridge?

No

Oh... i a sorry.. when jim was ther4e in london he had give me this no. and i saved it as jim only.. so whe i sow this no. thought it was him.

Right. He "sow"ed his number. Fantastic. He could only imagine the appalling spelling Jim would have.

Actually jim rites a lot like you. posh and all. sorry

*Facepalm* Sherlock took his words back.

Seems like he's got a hell lot of friends. Sherlock replied with some bitterness. Now people were texting him only because of some random guy.

Some of the others also texted me

Trust me... i havent seen him forget talking also

Apart from appalling spelling, this person had no sense of grammar.

So whats your good name?

Sherlock decided to ignore the second text. Then how come you have his number? Some sort of random messenger thing?

As if pubs weren't enough for people to mingle, the app Incs also had to launch the ones where you could make friends online. What was wrong with the world?

he gve me this no. and i only noticed it sme 1 month back

Oh right.

I'm in dublin now. . . thats what reminded me of him

So you know anything where he can be or something

Giving in to the frustration finally, Sherlock punched the words in. How was he supposed to know where the previous owner of his phone number was?

I don't know any Jim Moriarty.. I just got this number and now I'm spending quite a lot of time telling his friends that I'm not their friend.

It must have been obvious how irritated Sherlock was because the guy let out a quick cut-off response.

Really sorry for the inconvenience caused!

Sherlock softened and retreated to his severed limb experiment. It was fortunate that Cambridge didn't have dorm rooms. Alright.

Hey

This was really going to be the last of it. Sherlock had been sleeping during his shower before his last class when the frustrating, impossible text arrived. This was going to be the last of Jim Moriarty's friends. Fuck, he had even memorized his name.

Dunno you

You forgot ur sweetheart so fast? Within a year

Yes

:D :D :D

Not joking

No guesses?

You must be younger than me, judging by the way you're talking.

Or texting

Jim!

Its me, John!

What's wrong, love?

My name is not Jim and I'm not your love

Oh shit?

Seriously? Oh shit?

Question mark? Was this person really doubting himself that he couldn't say 'oh shit' without Sherlock's permission?

Ok i'm so sorry!

I think his number is changed

What a deduction!

I'm really sory

It's alright.

It wasn't, but Sherlock had been reliably informed that saying that fell along the lines of rude.

Do you know any1 named Jim Moriarty?

No but I know his friends

Were r u frm?

Sherlock sighed. Puerto Rican

How come u knw his frinds?

Just like I know you

ok ok

I'm sorry

It's cool

I'l delete his number

I think his number has changed

Yes

:)

Sherlock used the number to locate this John person because he was the only one out of Molly, Seb and Jeff (Gosh, he had already learned the names of Jim's friends, utterly useless data) who could be found within a one mile radius. Plus, this John person was this Jim person's boyfriend so it would be more effective contacting him than his friends. He was found waiting outside the library, as Sherlock's self-designed tracking system told him. He was going to put an end to this. He had tried John's number, but it had come across as switched off.

When Sherlock arrived in front of the department library, there was one lone blond man standing outside, perhaps waiting for someone.

Sherlock's jaw dropped.

Might continue this. . . Review? According to response, I'll let this stay a one shot or I'll continue this into a short story with less than ten chapters :)