Hey guys, I have written a new chapter in my free time which is why there is a new update so soon, do not get used to it haha.

This chapter will put the 'T' rating to good use although it is a very strong 'T' it's still not 'M' worthy so keep that in mind, if you don't like strong 'T's maybe skip this chapter.

In the meantime;

"This is speech"

'This is thought'

As always I take no claim to the Teen Titan's I'm just borrowing them and will return then upon a later date,

Thanks a heap to everyone who reviews and follows and favorited this story, means the world guys,

Now without further ado I give you chapter nine of smoke.

I feel like crap, in every sense of the word.

My eyes are swollen and bloodshot from all the tears that escaped and the constant rubbing to erase the evidence,

My nose is raw and red, too much rubbing to keep the snot at bay irritated it beyond belief,

My throat hurts from all the crying and I swear I gave myself a stress headache,

Overall I feel like death could take me now and I would feel happier in his cold embrace than have to deal with the discomfort and embarrassment that came with crying my eyes out for a solid half hour,

The only upside I can find to this turn of events is that Raven hasn't left my side, she simply allowed me to clutch on to her and soak her dress with tears and god knows what else as she stroked my hair and spoke to me about nothing,

She's incredibly understanding about the whole thing and that just makes me feel worse which results in more tears and more red marks on my face,

'Fucking hell girl get it together, you're not bloody five'

I'd been internally grilling myself since I started crying and I know Raven's listening, every time I think something bad or a put down, the arm around my waist tightens slightly,

It's her way of letting me know she's here for me without psychically saying it to save me the embarrassment of knowing she knows,

Which of course she knows I know anyways because she knows everything,

Fresh tears start streaming down my face before I can stop them and I swear they'll never end if we continue like this,

She must have thought the same thing because she gently grabs my forearms and pushes me away from her,

I immediately panic thinking I had done something wrong, new tears come down harder than before and I can feel my airways closing,

I don't want her to leave, not again,

"Relax little one, I've never seen you so worked up before"

She speaks softly, slowly as though talking too fast or too loud might frighten me off,

She's made me face her now instead of allowing me to wallow in my pity upon her shoulder,

The face to face angle is a bit too much for me, I can see worry and sympathy on her face but all I can see in her eyes is my reflection,

I bring my hand up to my mouth to try and swallow a cry but it comes out anyways, thought slightly muffled behind my palm,

I can feel the tears well up again and I'm about to start again when she hugs me, a firm hold with one hand around my waist and the other holding the back of my head,

"Shhh, everything will be alright, you just have to let it be"

She's talking directly into my ear and warmth fills me,

"I'm so-"

I'm interrupted as she shushes me once again, using her hand to smooth down my frazzled hair, she smells like the last time I saw her,

I've come to terms with the fact that I won't ever be able to smell lavender, frankincense and cigarette smoke again without thinking of her,

It's strangely comforting, as though I know her scent from a memory,

I recently bought this hair conditioner, it was cheap I was broke who cares, but when I opened it and smelled it, it was like I was ten again,

I could remember the feel of the sun on my skin as I sat outside near the back door, I could feel the breeze on my face as it rustled the leaves on the trees beside me,

I remember smiling and laughing and sharing little red lollies with my family, lollies that smelt exactly like the conditioner,

I can never remember the name of the lolly, the name always on the tip of my tongue, but it didn't matter,

Whenever I smelt the conditioner I always remembered that memory and how happy I felt sitting in the sun that day, a warm feeling rests in my tummy and I always feel lighter,

That is how I feel whenever I'm with Raven, I can't place her to a childhood memory and I'd never encountered her particular scent before but the feeling remained the same,

I felt safe and happy and warm all at once when I was with her, like I was young and didn't have a care in the world,

That's how I first knew I liked her, hell maybe I even loved her, just a little,

Getting that feeling about a taste or a smell is easy, everyone does it at some point in their life because it's our brains way of cataloguing things, to remind us where we've been and keep us going,

To feel that feeling about a person though is a completely different story,

To feel nostalgic about a person is proof enough you'd fallen hard, and I know nostalgia is a liar, nothing is ever as good as our minds remember but for a person,

For a person who is living, breathing flesh in front of you then that same nostalgia is just a way for your body to tell you that you love them and you miss them,

It was in that moment, clutched tightly to Raven as she hugged me in the dirt, my face red and puffy from all the tears shed, that I realised I loved her,

Not like puppy love that leaves you giddy and buzzing, and certainly not like the love you feel between friends, family even,

No, I was honest to god in love with her to the extent that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her,

Admitting it to myself, I must admit made me feel so much lighter, like I was suddenly filled with helium and the only thing keeping me ground was Raven herself,

I think she knew, I could feel her hug me just that much tighter and I could feel and hear her breathing becoming shallower,

"Raven I-"

I was going to tell her, right then and there in the dirt but I couldn't, my throat closed up and I got lightheaded just at the thought of telling her,

'Way to go you dingus, can jump off skyscrapers can't even tell someone who probably already knows that you love her'

I admit, in that moment I was a coward, my hands were clammy and it was suddenly both too hot and too cold but I needed to tell her,

Even if she did know she still deserved to hear it, but still I couldn't,

All my tears had stopped by now, the only evidence they were ever there were the tear marks down my face,

She gently gripped my forearms again and peeled me off her, I didn't panic this time I knew she'd stay,

The face to face confrontation wasn't any less daunting but now it was because I could clearly see her eyes and not my reflection cast back to me,

Her face still showed worry but it also showed contentment, her eyes still as beautiful as ever were what nearly made me crack,

Her eyes showed love and acceptance and understanding, everything that she knew I needed, knew I craved,

I suddenly felt something warm on my face, and my first instinct was to move closer to it, I saw rather than heard her sigh as she wiped the tear tracks away from my cheeks,

Now unlike before, I was thinking clearly this time when my lips made contact with hers,

It was slow at first, hesitant, with just the lightest touch of my lips on hers,

I was beyond ecstatic but fear was creeping in fast, she hadn't moved and I seriously thought I misread everything and had made a huge mistake,

But then I saw her eyes close slowly, the purple of her irises giving way to her thick lashes, and suddenly she was kissing me back,

It was slow at first and she was embarrassed I could tell, but she eventually settled in and starting to move her lips with mine,

I always knew she had full lips, anyone with eyes could see that, but having them on yours for an actual kiss, unlike our previous pecks, gave a better insight into just how full they were,

Her lips were incredibly soft and surprisingly fit rather well with my own, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a timid tongue sweep past my lower lip as though asking for permission,

Which of course I eagerly granted,

Her tongue was warm on my own though I must admit, it did feel a little strange to have someone else's tongue in my mouth,

She tasted, much to my surprise, like mint where I would have assumed the smoke would linger,

I unknowingly gave a small sigh when she took my bottom lip between her teeth, biting down just enough to send a jolt through my body,

When she released it and moved back she looked nervous as though she was waiting for me to run away or something,

Of course running away was the last thing on my mind, and to be fair the only thing on my mind was,

'Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her'

Which I did,

I could tell she was surprised by the way her eyes slightly widened and the small squeak she gave when our lips connected,

I used my knees to support myself, my left hand currently on her hip whilst my right was tangled in her hair,

Every time I'd deepen the kiss she'd eagerly accept and kiss me back just as hard, our tongues at this point were fighting for dominance as her hands gripped my shirt to pull me closer to herself,

I could feel my body heating up in some, uncomfortable places, I'd read enough to know where this was heading to but I couldn't find it in me to care,

With the hand that was on her hip, I slowly moved it higher tracing the outline of her body until I reached her chest,

Fairly certain if I continued the way I was she'd get uncomfortable I ghosted my hand over her chest until I got to her sternum which I gave a gentle push to,

I was met with no resistance as she grabbed my shoulders lightly aiding me in lowering her to the ground, not once breaking the kiss,

She now had her hands firmly on my hips and was moving them anywhere she saw fit, which was everywhere apparently,

I could feel her lips swelling slightly with the pressure upon them but that just added to how much I wanted to never stop kissing her,

The only time I did stop was to trail my mouth down her jawline, earning myself little gasps and moans as I found little sensitive spots along the way,

I found one particular spot just in front of her jugular above her collar bone that was extra sensitive, I really had no idea what to do next but something told me to bite her,

So I did,

I just grazed my teeth over the flesh and followed it with another kiss using my tongue to soothe any discomfort I may have caused,

I could tell she liked it by the sounds she was making, she didn't even try to hide or disguise the moan that came from her mouth as I bit her neck again, harder this time,

Her hands had stopped on my shoulder blades and her finger nails were currently digging in to my skin under my shirt but I didn't care,

I retreated from her neck and went back to her mouth again, kissing her harder than before which she matched with equal enthusiasm,

I noticed that Raven was not the only one making sounds as I had once thought, when she moved her tongue a certain way or caught my lips between her teeth I'd make little gasps that were muffled by her mouth,

She seemed to like that though, as though my sounds of pleasure were for her ears only,

My left arm was starting to cramp though from holding my body weight up for so long so I did the first thing that came to mind,

Which was to stop leaning over her and simply straddle her, she seemed to like this better and held me closer to her, I became increasingly aware of two things in that moment,

One was that our breasts were now touching and even though there were at least two layers between our skin I could still feel my face heat up,

And two was the heat that was now between my legs, I had been aroused before but never like this, never to the point where I actually wanted to do something about it,

This heat was only made worse when Raven moved from under me, accidently brushing her knee against me as she pressed her mouth to my neck,

She found a really sensitive spot just under my jaw and began to lightly suck the skin causing goose bumps to appear on my skin and a small moan to escape my mouth,

I suddenly had a strong urge to feel her skin without a barrier and considering the position we found ourselves in I really didn't think it would be a problem,

I used the hand that wasn't holding me up to move up her body, I started at her thigh which was bare thanks to the dress she was wearing and moved down, slowly as if taunting her,

Her skin was soft and smooth, almost like porcelain, it was also quite cold although I knew if we were in a normal situation right now she would be colder,

She continued to nip and bite my neck as my hand moved lower down her leg getting dangerously close to her hip,

Apparently she wanted to follow my example because the next thing I knew she hand both hands under my shirt and moving up my stomach,

I could feel her stop every few inches to recede back down using her nails to lightly scratch me before continuing up again,

Her mouth found mine again and she gave a long moan as I squeezed her hip, this caused her dig her nails into my stomach and to move her legs again, her knee pressing into me for longer this time,

I gasped at the new sensation and she smiled against my lips as she continued kissing me, purposely moving her knee this time,

I'm not sure how to explain what it felt like but it did send a jolt up my spine that travelled all the way down to my toes,

I moved my hand further up her dress touching as much skin as I could whilst I kissed down her neck again taking time between each kiss to tell her how I felt about her,

"I know this may not be the best time"

My lips moved from her lips to her jaw, my teeth lightly nipping at the skin before I moved down further,

"But I really need to tell you"

My lips found her neck as I lightly sucked leaving a barely visible bruise, her hands found the underside of my breasts through my bra,

"And I really hope you feel the same"

My lips found the sensitive spot from earlier and I bit down hard causing her to throw her head back slightly and dig her nails into my ribs as she released a long moan,

Heat travelled straight to my stomach at the sight of her and I momentarily forgot what I was saying,

"Raven I-"

Suddenly her mouth was on mine and her hands were in my hair, which was now a mess,

"Don't say it"

She all but whispered in my ear before she started kissing my neck again,

"Say what? That I love you"

I felt so much better for saying it but apparently she didn't share the sentiment,

She growled and pushed me off her sitting up quickly and pulling her legs into her body,

I was just a little confused by her reaction,

"Raven what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

I honestly don't even know what I did, one second everything was fine then bam,

"Why couldn't you just leave it alone huh?"

She wasn't yelling but she wasn't exactly talking normally either, I knew I looked confused and I knew I felt confused because I could possibly think about what I did wrong,

"Why'd you have to say that?"

I still had no idea what she was talking about so I did the next best thing I could think of, I crawled on my knees over to her and took her face in my hands,

"Look Raven I don't know what you're talking about, all I know is that I love you and I'm pretty sure you love me too"

With every word I could see her mood souring, her eyes growing dark and sad,

"Why'd you have to say you loved me? God I'm so angry at you"

'Um what?'

She sighed angrily, as though she was angry at herself, and ran a hand through her hair grabbing a fistful as she leaned over her legs,

"You said so many hurtful things to me last time we spoke but I was ready to forget that because I like you, a lot"

Suddenly I wasn't feeling so happy anymore, remembering all the things I said to her really felt like a kick in the teeth,

"This was meant to be simple, you like me I like you and that's it, I could forget you ever said those things, we could move on and this could be okay, we could be okay"

I must admit she really wasn't making any sense to me and she was making it rather hard to hear since she was talking through her knees but I did my best,

"But then you had to make it more than what it is and I can't do that, I can't forget what you said and I can't accept you love me"

I could hear a slight hiccup in her voice at the end and I knew she was crying or close to, I moved closer to her to hug her but she pushed me away, her glare pierced straight through me,

"Rae, I do love you, I love you so much and I'm so sorry about what I said I know you can't forgive me but please I'm begging you"

I knew I looked pathetic and I felt pathetic but if begging was what had to be done then so be it,

Her glare softened but instead gave way to tears that threatened to overflow,

"No, if you loved me you wouldn't have said those things about me, I could forget like I was trying to and we can be okay but you can't love me, I won't let you"

I shook my head and she just stared letting the tears flow freely down her cheeks,

"I love you Raven and I know I shouldn't have said what I did but that doesn't change the fact that I love you"

I tried my luck again with getting close to her and to my surprise she let me hold her, I tentatively wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek tears and all,

"I know you love me too Rae, we can work this out"

She started crying harder at this, much harder than I had ever seen her cry before, the only thing she did to try and stop herself was to cover her mouth as she tried not to cry out loud,

She turned to me with her impossibly sad eyes and something in my stomach twisted, as though my insides were put in a vice and someone poured ice straight over it,

"I love you Jinx, I do but I can't forgive you"

She got up, separating us both literally and figuratively before turning towards me again,

Her lips were swollen and bruised, her hair was a mess, her dress was rumpled and her eye liner was running but to me she never looked more beautiful,

"I'm sorry Jinx"

And with that she vanished in that black stuff, it didn't even comprehend that she had her powers back,

It felt as though someone had stabbed me right were my heart was and was now squeezing it with their bare hands whilst simultaneously strangling me,

All that was going through my mind was how badly I fucked up and how I was going to fix it

Alright so that's chapter nine of Smoke, hope you enjoyed it,

If you did be sure to leave a review about what you liked or didn't or any ideas you may have,

I'd love to hear from you guys honestly means the world to me, also thank you again to everyone who follows and favorited this story means so much,

Anyways thanks for reading, next chapter will be up sometime soon.