Author's Note- God I've been busy but I still make fics in between. Seriously, I can't do anything until I have it posted and then I tend to ignore them after they're out of my system. Sorry for the wait guys but next chapter will definitely look at Hana. Kyoko and her Nii-san. The group has to expand somewhat, that and some people need fleshing out. A lot of fleshing out- I've kind of just been ignoring it. Sigh.

Warnings- Not edited, cause I'm honestly a lazy bastard with no time. I know, I suck.

Chapter Eight-Between the Shadows and the Soul

There is crying. Not that it was out of the ordinary, Ienari mused. Every few weeks at night, it had become a morbid routine of sorts to stay up later than usual and wait for the sobs to come.

He'd listen for a few minutes, that time used to contemplate getting up to do as he usually did and then the crying would pause and he would have to get up to make sure everything was alright, that the sadness hadn't turned into something darker- something he truly feared would happen. With slow movements he'd push off the blankets that was supposed to keep out the rest of the world and sneak out of his bedroom and down the hall where he would sit on the steps that led down to the kitchen and living room.

It was always the same. Always.

The top step was where he would sit, cold and wrapped in nothing but his blue pajamas and from his spot he could watch at an angle as his mother clutched at an old photo frame and cried. Her hair would shadow over her face so he couldn't see her anguished eyes or her trembling lips and her shaking hands would reach up to press against her mouth to stop any sound that might escape.

On this night, this night that had happened since as long as his memory would allow, it was always the same. Except this night.

This night, as Ienari made his way to his step, dreading each footfall until he had to see his sad mother cry over a worthless man, Ienari was not alone. He sat there, in Ienari's place with both hands cradling his lolling head, watching their mother in place of Ienari. His brother was not a nice boy, he never had been as far as the twin was aware but tonight he looked especially...human.

Those caramel eyes were for once not blank slates and those usually turned up lips looked distinctly upset and when those orbs looked to him, Ienari was sure his brother was confused, something he had never seen before.

"Does this happen often?" Tsuna asked, looking for all the world the slightest bit lost.

Eleven years and his twin hadn't noticed, it was enough to feel fire lick at his veins and make it's way to the tip of his tongue where he could throw it out in lashes against his brothers skin. "Often? Often?" He laughed quietly, not in the least a happy or mirthful sound as he dragged both hands heavily through his blonde hair. "How about once every two weeks for as long as I can remember!" He hissed.

"You're just like him. Like that bastard we call a father, you may not look like him but you sure as hell act like him. Everyday, every moment, that stupid smile on your face, acting like nothing ever bothers you! I bet it doesn't, nothing can burst the bubble around your happy world. You don't hear her cries, you don't see how fake her smiles are, you don't know anything. You're not around enough! Just. Like. Him." Venom infused into every word, only to come up blank upon seeing an amused looking Tsuna.

"You're the carbon copy of him, if my memory serves me right. I take more after our caretaker." He cocked his head to the side.

The blonde clenched his hands into tight fists, gritting his teeth. "Our mother. Say it, mother."

His younger brother pursed his lips, mouthing the word over and over, twisting the vowels and stretching it out, testing and tasting it on his tongue, "Mother, I used to think they were such amazing beings, but to be perfectly honest, even mother's can abandon their young." The caramel haired boy looked to their sobbing mother and frowned, "I don't think such an unfaithful term can be used for on someone so...steady. Don't you think?"

There was silence, one of quiet contemplation the other of quivering rage, Tsuna's soothing tones doing nothing but heating the blood in his brother's veins and Ienari stood, a trembling mess of pent up anger until it rushed out, exploded like glass in extraordinary heat. In his mind he heard something crack and splinter and in the corner of his eyes he saw dark orange, almost red flames, flickering in time with the drumming in his heart but none of it mattered to him in that moment, the world could be burning but all he wanted was to reduce something, someone, Tsuna,- Iemitsu-, Tsuna, to ash.

His fists, he barely noticed, were clenched tight as he dug his own nails into his skin, drawing blood as he swung one as his brother, who much to his surprise took it and even more, let himself slump to the ground. Ienari had seen his brother fight with that demon, saw as blood flew and splattered against the ground, he'd have nightmares about that pleasant little smile Tsuna wore as his ribs cracked and his frail looking body smashed into the ground, even more so when that supposedly frail boy threw the demon across the road without a care, like it was perfectly fine, normal, fun even.

He was playing with him, humoring him if that little smile was anything to go by, and that just made him- there were no words to describe it, there was nothing but his fists beating into his brothers face, over and over. Words he didn't mean, didn't think he meant came spilling out from that place, that dark little space that festered with hatred in his neglected heart, his young child's heart that yearned for something.

"I hate you! I hate you're stupid smiles, you're pathetic excuse for an attempt at humanity! I hate him for doing this to her, I hate his little phone calls where he pretends that everything in this family is perfectly all right, I hate his lies and I hate her! I hate that she lets him do this to her, I hate that she smiles like a stupid idiot when those calls come and I hate- I hate..." The grip on his brothers shirt tightened as his fight hovered over his young twin's face.

I hate that you're the only one to ever do anything about them, the only one to openly insult him, to tell her how idiotic it is to wait for him. I hate that I sit there brewing in misery and anger but smile and giggle when talking to him. I hate that out of all the people on the Earth, it's you that had more substance than I, more truth- you who doesn't even know how to interact with society properly.

"Do you know what I hate?" Tsuna asked, a taunting smile on his lips, mocking him as if his thoughts could be read right off his face and maybe his brother could hear them, maybe he plucked them straight from his mind- his brother seemed capable of it. The smaller boy, battered as he was leaned up, whispering into his ear, "People who see a problem and don't try to fix it." Shocking, Ienari to the point where his brother fell from his grip, gracefully, quietly, like a feather floating to the ground.

"A little hypocritical, I mean," He gestured to himself, his body still slumped on the ground, the gesture's meaning lost on Ienari as he looked up to him with a small shrug, "But I guess that just shows we're related, ne?"

Ienari clenched his jaw, the sound of his teeth grinding together loudly echoing in his ears as he fought the urge to throttle his brother. "I am nothing like you."

Tsuna smiled up at him, taunting, daring, "If you weren't, you wouldn't have chosen to fight with me and ignore the crying woman downstairs." He sighed, so fake an action it hurt but the smile never dropped, "But like I said, we Sawada brother's do like to ignore our problems. That and pretend to be high and righteous about it, after all, it's never our fault- those that act like sheep will be eaten like sheep by prowling wolves, right?"

He got up, like a dancer walking on air as he pulled a frozen Ienari into a light embrace, rocking their bodies from side to side in a mockery of comfort. "Those who are stupid enough to trust someone who has hurt you multiple times before not to hurt you again, doesn't it seem like they want the pain? That they're idiotic enough to deserve it?"

Those words, cut close and a flash of pain stabbed near his heart as he violently jerked his younger twin off him. "And if they have only known that hurt? That they don't know something other than pain exists? Mama has only had one man before, she doesn't know any better!" He defended, vigilantly.

Tsuna chuckled, setting his orange orbs on his brother's angered ones, "First you have too much faith in her, now too little. Do you believe her to be naive, Ienari? That she's something other than human, a deity devoted to one male form? That she hasn't thought about leaving that man before? No, I promise you she's thought about it, probably longed for it. Maybe at one point she had loved him, but no matter what, we humans are built for survival and no matter what, we cannot truely love what hurts us."

Tears pooled in the older boy's eyes, not of sadness but of frustration as he clenched his fists tight. "Then why does she stay?" He growled.

His sibling rocked on his heels, a long thoughtful hum drawn out from him before shrugged once more, "Who knows, habit? An underlying belief she deserves the pain? Fear of change? Fear of the unknown? Or..." He looks inspired, but that smile is back, the taunting one that Ienari hates, "It is fear of the known. She knows something we don't know and fears what will happen should we leave our sire's long cast shadow."

The two were quiet as they though it over before it was quickly broken by a dismissing wave of a hand, "All well, it's not as if we care."

And that was enough to throw off any hold his brother held over him with silken words and whatever strange truth he saw as Ienari shouldered his way roughly past his brother to make his way down the staircase, some form of courage burning in him for the first time in forever. He wasn't going to ignore his mother tonight, or any night anymore.

Not giving any acknowledgement to the eyes that followed him, or the surprised gasp and sputtering of his mother, he dove straight into her arms and let himself be held and hold her in return. There was cries, more sobbing, half formed words and the form of one Sawada twin, watching over them from above until they were too tired to do anything but sleep.

.

.

.

When Ienari awoke, when it was quiet and dark with nothing but the light footsteps of someone walking away, did he finally realize that a fluffy orange blanket lay resting over his mother and himself. The edges were tucked in around their bodies and their previously tangled limbs had been rearranged to sit more comfortable around each other, his mother's arms placed securely around his waist and his own huddled up under a soft pillow but when he raised his head to look at his mother, he realized she was also awake.

Her eyes focused on the direction where he heard the faded footsteps and they glowed with a soft warmth as she squeezed him gently to acknowledge his gaze. "Your brother feels too, Nari-chan, he just doesn't know how to express his emotions quite so well. Sometimes, I feel as if he's better at motivating than comforting," She murmured against his hair, her eyes fluttering shut as she drifted to sleep with a small loving smile.

Ienari's brown orbs stared at the spot his brother had watched over them, peering down with watchful eyes like a figure of orange light, protecting them in their weakest state. In that moment Ienari acknowledged that he didn't hate his brother, in fact, he thought he loved him in the same way he believed Tsuna loved them, like all dark things were supposed to be loved, in secret- between the shadows and the soul.

Silently.

With orange blankets, misguided fists and manipulation, that was how the Sawada brother's loved, to the point where some believed they didn't know how to love, or hurt.

Extra Note- This is an actual quote, 'I love you as all dark things are to be loved, in secret between the shadows and the soul.' I just don't remember where I read it, sorry.