Description: Edward has a very strange dream.

Rating: K

Stuff: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist nor Sailor Moon

Warnings: Crackfic

What the Heck?

When we got to our dorm door, I clapped my hands and alchemised the lock. It was faster than trying to find the key.

"I'm telling you, Al, the Colonel's obsession with mini-skirts is just him over compensating to hide he's in the closet."

"Brother, how many times do we have to go through this? Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye are together."

"Nope. Don't believe it. They never act like a couple."

"Just because they don't act like Major Hughes and his wife doesn't make them not a couple."

"You can believe whatever you want, Al. I still say he's a closet case."

I flopped onto my bed.

"Brother, at least take off your shoes."

"Too tired." I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. I vaguely felt Al remove my shoes and cover me with a blanket before I was lost to the world.

I opened my eyes to find myself in what looked like a store. As I turned my head to look around I caught movement in the corner of my eye. When I turned back I just barely caught sight of a golden object at the side of my head. I reached up.

Pigtails.

Why the heck do I have pigtails?

And they were weird pigtails. I felt some sort of knotted ball of hair where the pigtails met my skull. They also seemed to have some sort of decorative jewelry on them.

I heard a noise behind me and spun around. There was a humanoid… monster behind me. But that wasn't the most surprising thing. When I had spun around I felt the breeze.

WHY AM I WEARING A MINISKIRT!?

"Sailor Moon!" It was Al's voice. Where was he? I looked around but didn't see him anywhere. "You need to use your tiara!" A cat. Al was a cat! I knew Al liked cats, but to become one? "Hold your tiara and yell 'Moon Tiara Boomerang'!" Wait, was Al-cat talking to me? Tiara? I touched my hand to my forehead, and sure enough felt the jewelry. It was then that the monster decided to act. It charged at me but I was able to dodge. I clapped my hands and slammed them against the floor. Let's see how this thing likes being bound.

Huh?

Nothing happened. I clapped my hands and tried again. Nothing. I was just staring at my hands trying to figure out what was going on when a wrench hit me in the back of the head.

"What the? Hey! That hurt!" I turned around... and saw Winry wearing a tuxedo. She pulled out another wrench from the folds of her tuxedo jacket. She tossed it at me and I ducked. It stuck into the floor like a knife.

"Sailor Moon, do it now!" She yelled and then turned, her tuxedo cape billowing behind her, and jumped out the window.

The monster took that moment to grab me from behind. I jammed my elbow into it's gut and it's grip loosened enough for me to jerk loose. Al-cat yelled, "The tiara! Remember the tiara!"

I pulled the tiara from my head. "Moon Tiara Boomerang!" And tossed it. It smacked into the monster's forehead and flopped to the floor. Then the monster started to groan, gradually getting louder and turning into a yell, before the thing randomly turned into dust and then blew away.

"You did it, Sailor Moon!" I just stared at the spot the monster use to occupy. Al-cat jumped toward me and I felt him slam into my stomach.

Oof.

I instantly sat up. I blearily blinked my eyes and looked around.

"Good, you're awake, Brother."

I saw a book lying on my stomach. "Did you drop a book on me?"

"Umm.. maybe… You weren't waking up."

"Meow!"

"Al, please tell me that's a cat in your armor, not you turning into a cat…"

-x-

-Author's Note-

What is this? I don't even

This probably won't make sense without at least a basic knowledge of Sailor Moon. Well, actually, this probably won't make sense even then.

I really have no explanation for this other than I needed some sort of brain dump while working on this super frustrating chapter of TSWK.

Mustang would have to be Sailor Mars. Fuery would be Mercury. Havoc would be Venus. But who would be Jupiter? I don't really see Hawkeye or Breda as being Jupiter. Maybe Falman.

Also, thanks for reading! :)