"I fought Voldemort, the biggest villain of all time, and won," Harry announced smugly at the annual Young-Adult Novels Convention. He was waiting backstage with the rest of the cast at the My World Sucks: The Protagonist POV panel.

"Bro, I don't want dampen your mood, but I went against a Titan and Mother Nature herself and beat them by, like, seventeen," Percy shot back. He was not to be outdone by a wizard.

"Guys," Tris said.

June rolled her eyes and snickered. "Boys, stop your bickering. I could beat you in a fight, easy."

"You wish," Harry said. "I have magic on my side." He waved his wand haphazardly; sparks shot everywhere. Stagehands ran to douse the flaming curtains.

"You want to try me?" June threatened. She mimicked a gun, making little pew-ing sounds.

"Sure, but ready to get beat. I mean, I did conquer death."

"Stop it," Percy butted in. "I could beat both of you."

Both June and Harry burst into laughter.

Harry, wiping at his eyes, said, "Beat me? In your dreams."

"What are you guys laughing about?" Katniss walked in to the room, glancing confusedly at the three of them- Harry and June, doubled over in laughter, Percy waving Riptide angrily in the air. Three feet of curtains sheared off beneath the bronze blade.

"They don't believe I could beat them in a duel!" Percy said indignantly. He paused and glanced behind him at the curtains, then glared back at Harry.

"You couldn't," she said. "But I think I know someone that can." She paused for effect. "Me."

June looked up at her incredulously. "You sure about that?"

"I come from a place where killing is an annual tradition," Katniss pointed out.

"I come from a place where creatures called dementors can suck your souls out," Harry said. He waved his hands for effect and made vacuuming noises. Percy, annoyed, slapped at Harry's hands until the other boy finally subsided.

"Guys," Tris said.

"My life is worse. I have to deal with monsters literally all the time," Percy complained, not wanting to be left out. The room exploded into accusations, sparks, and more flaming curtains.

"Guys," Tris said.

Katniss turned to find the girl floating a foot in the air and leveled her with a glare. "What?"

"I'm dead."

Silence fell over the room as they silently were contemplating if that made her life harder.

It stayed that way for a while until Percy suddenly said, "I fought a snake in preschool."

And the war started again.