"DIB-FILTH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Zim screamed at the rather-large-headed boy who until a moment ago, had been hiding in some shrubs.

"I'm here to see what landed in the forest, Zim; but the real is question is why are you here!? Is this spacecraft filled with your alien buddies!?" Dib questioned as he pulled a stick out of his hair.

"Nonsense! The Tallest are busy and haven't had a chance to come and hear my plans for invading this dirt-ball! I don't know who this ship belongs too; I hope they have ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS!"

"Robot death what!? Ugh, I don't have time for you, Zim, I need to get to the UFO!"

Dib then took off running in the direction of the ship. Zim stood there for a second before sprinting after him and crying out, "THEY ARE MY ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS, DIB-BEAST! SLOW DOWN SO I CAN GET THERE FIRST!"

A few minutes later, Dib arrived at the landing site.

"Finally," he said, catching his breath for a moment.

He then took out a camera and aimed the lens at the spacecraft.

"After all this time, I finally have proof! You all thought I was crazy but I actually have proof-"

An inhuman screech was heard mere seconds before a flash of green tackled Dib to the ground, his camera hitting the ground with a crack.

"DIB! STAY AWAY FROM MY ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS!"

"JESUS CHRIST! ZIM, GET OFF! I DON'T HAVE YOUR DEATH ROBOT WHATEVERS!"

"You're LYING! I know you have them inside your greasy coat, you DIRTY, FILTHY PIG-SMELLY!" Zim yelled while desperately clawing at Dib.

A moment later, Dib's fist made contact with Zim's face, sending him flying off. Zim sat there, momentarily stunned before his face contorted into anger.

"You... YOU DARE HIT THE MIGHTY ZIM!? FEEL THE WRATH OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS!"

Zim once again launched himself at Dib, scratching at his eyes. They fought, both hitting, kicking, and even biting each other, each time with much more fury than the last.

"YOU BETTER BUY ME A NEW CAMERA, SPACE BOY!"

"AND YOU BETTER GIVE ME THE ROBOT DEATH MONKEYS, FLESH-SACK!"

"Oh my!" a third voice called out, interrupting the fight and saving Dib from one last blow.

"You two sure are angry, aren't ya!"

Zim and Dib looked up and saw a large creature whose appearance looked rather... saccharine.

It looked almost like a child's toy but a hundred times bigger. Its skin was so bright and pink and rubbery, it hurt to look at it. Its face was adorned with bright, rosy cheeks that almost looked painted on and its eyes sparkled as it looked down on the two enemies. It also wore a white, polka-dotted suit with a matching hat, making it look even more like a giant toy-gone-wrong.

Upon seeing the creature, Zim screamed and shoved Dib toward it.

"THE DIB HYOO-MAN HAS NOTHING TO LIVE FOR, EAT HIM, NOT ME!"

A laugh erupted from the creature and Dib took a small step back.

"Uh... is that your ship?"

The creature smiled and with a bow, said, "Yes, it indeed is! I am Dr. Ashencoolaphant, self proclaimed doctor of friendfriend! I go around the universe, helping friendship grow in the unlikeliest of places! Isn't that just dandy!"

Dib blinked, staring blankly.

"So, Dr. Ashen-... sir, what are you doing here?"

"Well, if you must know, I was just passing by this planet when my sensors began to go crazy! They were just beeping and beeping and I just had to come down to see what was causing so much beeping! And oh boy, I'm so glad I did!"

Zim peered from behind Dib, curiousity taking over.

"If you don't plan on eating us, do you have any-"

"No, Zim! He does not have any robot death monkeys!"

Glaring, Zim snarled, saying "Shut up, insolent fool-boy! No one asked your opinion!"

"Well, Zim, it's a pretty stupid thing to ask a doctor of friendship if he has killer robots!"

"Well, DIB-FILTH, I think it's not idiotic at all!"

Dr. Ashencoolaphant frowned.

"Excuse me, but can you two please-"

Zim had launched himself at Dib, causing the doctor to frown even more.

"Oh dear... Aha! Both of you, look over here!"

Zim and Dib snapped their heads in the direction of the doctor, Zim in the process of choking Dib out.

"What?"

A flash of light appeared, instantly knocking the two unconscious.

Zim was the first to wake.

Zim sat up, looking around. He noticed three things; One, it was now night time, meaning he'd been down for hours. Two, both Dr. Ashencoolaphant and the ship were nowhere the be found, the only evidence of it being here being the scorch marks the ship left on the grass. And three, his right hand was touching something and it wasn't grass.

He looked to his right and saw his hand being held by a sleeping Dib.

"WORM BABY! RELEASE MY HAND AT ONCE!"

Dib stirred in his sleep, but didn't wake up.

Zim landed a strong kick to Dib's stomach, causing him to shoot up.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

"RELEASE MY HAND!" Zim cried out, bringing Dib's attention to their hands.

"Ew, gross!"

Dib tried to let go, but failed.

"Zim, I can't let go if you don't!"

"I AM NOT HOLDING ON!"

"OF COURSE YOU ARE, ZIM, IF-" Dib faltered as he noticed a piece of paper at their feet.

"What's that?" he said as he picked it up and read it out loud.

"Dear Large Headed Human and Small Irken,

You may or may not have noticed that your hands will not let go of each other; do not worry! This is only one of my methods of creating friendship! Together, you two will have to work together and find a way to release your hands or you two will be stuck like that for eternity! Oh, what fun! I want to be stuck holding hands with a future friend for all of eternity! You're welcome!

Sincerely,

Doctor Aschencoolaphant, doctor of friendship."

Upon Dib finishing the letter, Zim began to flail his arms wildly.

"I HAVE TO COOPERATE WITH A DISGUSTING HUMAN OR FACE BEING STUCK WITH HIM FOREVER!? I KNEW THAT WAS NOT TO BE TRUSTED!"

"Zim! Stop flailing! You're hitting me!"

Stopping, Zim attempted to cross to his arms, but this instead caused Dib to stumble into him, nearly knocking both of them down.

"Have some awareness! God, you're an idiot!"

"YOU'RE THE IDIOT, DIB-STINK!"

Dib sighed and said, "Arguing will get us nowhere, what we need to do is to get unstuck as soon as possible. We also need to get to one of our labs before dawn so no one sees us like this."

"What if I don't want to get to a lab before dawn!?"

"Do you want us to get bullied, Zim? Because our classmates seeing us holding hands will cause so much trouble not only for me, but for you too! Besides, we both want to get unstuck as soon as possible, right?"

Zim, for once, agreed with his enemy.

"If we must work... together," the word seemed to cut Zim as it escaped his mouth, "then we should go to my lab."

Zim began to make his way on a path, dragging Dib with him. Suddenly, Zim stopped in his tracks, almost causing Dib to fall.

"Dib-beast."

"What?"

"Where is the way out?"

Dib groaned, saying "This way."

Dib pulled Zim along through the forest and after ten minutes of walking and almost tripping, the two stepped out of the woods and onto a sidewalk.

"Aha! My house is now a mere few blocks away!"

Zim started to run, but he fell face-first, dragging Dib with him.

"MY FACE!" Zim cried out before getting a punch in the side.

"Oh my god, did you forget about our problem or something!?"

"No, Flesh-Sack, I didn't! I just assumed you were smart enough to run alongside me! AND ZIM IS NO FOOL!"

"Shut up! Do you want to wake up the whole neighborhood!?" Dib hissed, causing Zim to promptly stop talking.

They began to make their way towards Zim's house, but about a block away, a car made its way down the road.

"Oh my god," Dib panicked, fearing one of his classmates were in the car or a police officer or even his dad or anyone he knew. He leaped into the bushes, dragging Zim with him.

"I almost lost a contact! Why are we in the dirty tiny tree!?"

"Who cares if you lose a contact and there was a car. Now shh!"

Cautiously, Dib peered out from the bushes, on the lookout for the car. Thankfully, it was gone and the only thing in sight was a stray chihuahua.

Angry, Zim yanked Dib out of the bushes, muttering under his breath and they continued to make their way to Zim's house.

A/N:

Rewritten 8/10/18