It had been exciting at first.
"Why were you with that girl? Do you like her better than me?!"
"No! Of course not!"
56898
"Yeah you know, the other day I met this really hot woman at the bar!"
"Hahaha! Again?"
"Hey hey your girlfriend's gonna dump you when she finds out!"
"Eh who says she will find out?"
"You're such a bad guy!"
"Better than not having a girlfriend! Eh Akito?!"
"W-Who says?! I have a girlfriend!"
43980
"R-eally?"
"Really!"
43981
"Ah, the boss gave us so much work today!"
"He's too much, really!"
"Hey hey you're complaining already? It's not that much work! How will you ever survive in this company?"
"Not for Ryosuke-san, right?"
"Of course! I'm going to get promoted this year, you'll see. In fact, this is too little for me."
56226
...
"My wife is cheating on me, I want you to find out information about her…I've been completely faithful to her and she does this to me? Disgraceful."
55334
"The other day I saw my husband with another woman. I don't know her name but I have her photo right here. I suspect he's cheating behind my back, so I'd like information on her."
55334
"You bastard! How dare you trick us?! I swear you'll pay for this!"
54876
"My employee has been embezzling my company's funds. I want you to find proof."
60546
"I want you to…"
46879
"I need your help…"
61987
"I heard this was a good place…"
62667
...
"Namie, cancel all my appointments today."
"What?"
"I said cancel all my appointments."
"Have you gone mad, Izaya?"
"No. I just don't feel like being an information broker today."
"…You really have gone mad."
58797
"Maybe. Hey Namie, have you done anything bad to Seiji?"
"What? Of course not! Don't compare my attitude to you with my attitude towards Seiji, I would never do anything to hurt him!"
58798
"Haha! As expected of you, Namie. You love Seiji-kun right?"
"Of course."
58798
"Isn't that nice. Anyway I'm off to Ikebukuro, see you Namie!"
"Yeah. I hope you die by vending machine."
"At least vending machines have no numbers."
"What?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all. Well, I'm going."
Click
"…That bastard's acting really strange today."
...
41009
23876
33090
25687
54398
Namie is right. I really am going crazy.
22555
43501
51209
Maybe I should start wearing sunglasses
20999
11548
56113
This is all his fault.
0
….
0
What?
0
Zero?
Nothing?
How –
"I-ZAAAAAA-YAAAAAAAAAAA-KUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!"
CRASH
…..
…
- I'm seeing zeroes around my head...
...
He had seen the flea, and had thrown something heavy at the flea.
And so now the flea was on the ground, collapsed next to the bench, and unconscious.
"Hey flea!"
"…"
Shizuo titled his head. He made his way over and kicked the flea lightly.
The flea rolled away. Shizuo blinked.
"…Bastard fainted on me."
The blond crouched and poked the flea.
The flea didn't budge. Shizuo realized he looked almost peaceful in his sleep, in contrast to how he had a strange expression on his face when he had seen him just now.
- Oh yeah, this guy was in the hospital with me. And he doesn't have an indestructible body, so…
Shizuo mused for a bit. Perhaps he shouldn't have thrown the bench at the dazed flea. At someone who had gotten out of the hospital just a week ago.
- …What to do with this flea?
- Wait, why do I have to do something about it anyway?
- Should I just kill him right now?
Shizuo reached for Izaya's neck. Izaya's expression remained unchanged.
"…."
He took his hand away, clenching it into a fist as a scoff left his lips.
"…Damn. Guess I'll have to take this insect to the doctor."
"How are you feeling?"
"Like a bench hit my head."
"Haha! Well Shizuo brought you here so that's probably what happened."
"What?"
"Yeah I was surprised too! I thought you were dead when he brought you in and he was going to confess to murder. But he said you were acting weird and you got hit so easily. He asked me to cure you."
"…"
"Did something happen? Well besides that accident anyway. You know someone who just got out of a coma recently shouldn't be getting hit by heavy things right?"
"Mm."
"…Shizuo is right. You are acting weird."
"Am I? Anyway where did Shizuo go?"
"…He said he was going off to the park. Hey are you sure you're alright, Izaya?"
"Oh I'm totally fine, why wouldn't I be? Anyway I'm heading off."
"What? Where? Wait you should stay and rest!"
"The park of course."
"…I think you hit your head harder than you thought."
"Haha. Hey, Shinra."
"Hm?"
1000
"You're the worst."
"Huh?"
"No…I suppose Shizu-chan's the worst. He really is a monster."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You wouldn't. See you, Shinra."
"Ah – wait! Izaya!"
"…."
"Ahh…..he hasn't even paid me yet!"
"So, the flea was acting really weird today. One moment I saw him, next I felt that anger, and the next I had to deal with a fainted flea. Tch."
0
"Yeah. No I didn't kill him, if that's what you're thinking. Anyway the flea's usually not that spaced out, maybe it's 'cause of that accident."
0
"Huh? …Well I don't know. Anyway he's just acting really really weird and it pisses me off! Argh, that flea always pisses me off!"
0
"What? …He looked kind of pathetic, so I couldn't do it. It's like, so many years of chasing him and trying to kill him and he's not even awake to fight back when I finally do? Tch, that isn't fair at all."
0
"….Yeah. Fine. I guess, at that moment, I pitied him. A bit."
0
Izaya decided at that moment to make his presence known. He waved at Celty.
Celty seemed to start a little.
[Izaya? What are you doing here?]
"Hey Celty."
He watched in amusement as she tensed, then moved past Shizuo to show him her words more clearly.
[I said what are you doing here? I've completed all your jobs for today…!]
What she really wanted to say was left unsaid in the air which was beginning to heat up by a certain blond's low growls.
"Why can't I be here? I know, so I told Shinra and now he's asking for you. He misses your 'lovely presence'. Why don't you get back to your underground doctor hm? I graciously left your love nest so you two could spend some time together!"
[…Shizuo is right. You're acting really weird.]
"Celty." Shizuo spoke. "Sorry, but can you leave? Since Shinra is asking for you and all, and the flea's here…"
"See? Why don't you go back to your lover Celty, I need to have a little chat with your fellow monster."
Celty looked warily between Shizuo and Izaya who seemed to be interlocked in a glaring contest. She nodded, typing a few words.
[Try not to kill him okay?]
"…I can't promise that."
[Shizuo. He's injured.]
"…Tch."
Taking that as a sign that Shizuo would consider her words, Celty went away to where her motorbike was. She mounted it, gave one last glance at the two men standing alone, and then swerved away, out of the park.
When Celty was gone, Izaya walked away from Shizuo. He raised his gaze to the sky, and spoke.
"Shizu-chan."
"What?"
"I like you."
"What?!"
"That was a lie. Of course. Have you ever told a lie before, Shizu-chan?"
"What the hell? What the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm asking, have you ever told a lie before?"
"Lie? I hate people who lie, like you!"
"Yeah I know. But have you ever told a lie before?"
"Who hasn't?"
You, apparently.
"Well Shizu-chan doesn't seem the type to lie. Shizu-chan is always very honest right?"
"I hate people who lie. Why would I be one of those people I hate?"
Izaya turned his head.
0
"You still haven't answered my question, Shizu-chan. Have you ever told a lie?"
"…I don't know. What the hell is with that question? Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. I don't think about these things, I just say what I think unlike you."
0
"What do you mean by that?"
"I said I say what I think. Don't pretend flea, I know you lie all the time. It's as clear as day. You lie to manipulate people, you think one thing, and you say another. I'm not like that. I'm not like you."
0
"Ahh…I really hate you."
"Feeling's mutual, fucking flea."
0
"How is this even possible? Has the thought of lying never occurred to you before?"
"How many times do you want me to say it? I told you, I hate lies! I HATE THEM ALMOST AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU!"
Silence. Shizuo panted slightly, as Izaya said nothing. He scoffed, then turned away.
"Seeing you today pisses me off even more."
"What a coincidence. Shizu-chan's monster being pisses me off even more too."
Izaya said, yanked Shizuo's collar down, and kissed him.
...
...
Izaya's ability and the situation comes from the manga 'Count 0', I don't own the idea. However, the plot of this story will be completely different from that of the manga, since Izaya and Shizuo already know each other unlike the boys in the manga. I'm only using the idea, since I thought of Izaya when I saw it, and Shizuo with the 0 lies.
I know, I'm supposed to be using my hiatus to study right now but I'm feeling pretty horrible and in pain after my wisdom tooth operation. My exams are near and yet I couldn't seem to concentrate, and I ended up writing this based on the idea. So here you have it, a new story due to stress like I mentioned and I don't even know if the characters are IC. And now I'm going back to writing my essay.
Still, though it's short, I'd be glad if anyone enjoyed this ｡^‿^｡ 'Cause I was already thinking of fluff in the future like maybe 'lovey-dovey' text messaging~