Warnings for bad or harsh language, you've been warned. Proceed with caution.

Chapter 5: Captain

Afghanistan

"How's it going, Cap?" Jim grinned as he walked right into the Captain's office without a knock and a faux salute with the tips of his fingers. He smiled at the man behind the desk before he slid into a chair in front of his captain. The office was modestly furnished with plywood walls adorned with a picture or two of the older captain with his arms around a beautiful woman who smiled up at the camera, both wore different style army fatigues. One Army and the other Navy, yet the love and happiness the two felt for each other seemed to melt from the picture. Theirs was an old love - one that transcended the rivalry of the service. The pictures were simple yet caused the room to feel just that more familiar and less like the place had been constructed with hammers and nails. It certainly wasn't the first time Jim stepped foot in this office yet his eyes were drawn to the photographs with each visit. The ground beneath Jim's feet looked to be newly swept as evidence of the small ridges of sand blanketing the ground. Spock stayed standing at parade rest – the way they were supposed to stand – beside him as Jim got comfortable in his seat.

Captain Pike raised an eyebrow at Jim before he took off his glasses and rubbed his reddening eyes. The fatigues he wore were clean whereas Jim's were spotted and dirty. Sand crept into the crevices and he was still slightly crumpled from the nap he'd taken before the others awoke him informing him about his meeting with Pike.

"Jim, please come in," Pike said with a slight upwards turn of his lips. He turned to Spock with a nod, "Spock, at ease." Spock relaxed slightly but stayed stoic. Pike let out a quick breath and moved away a few papers on his desk to get to a folder to the right of his hand before putting his glasses back on. The papers across his desk cluttered and made Jim think of reminding the older man about the fact that computers were a thing and all of these papers could be just as easily scanned and filed very neatly and orderly on his desktop. Jim was no perfectionist like Spock but he still felt fidgety staring at the grey peppered hair of the man in front of him who had a messy desk.

"What do you know of Khan Noonien Sign?" Captain Pike looked up at Jim with his head tilted getting right to the point. A shudder ran down Jim's spine, the last tendrils of sleep that had been pulling at his tired body vanished. The lazy smile slipped from his face and he sat up straighter. His face turned to an emotionless mask while his eyes flashed to steal. The perfect solider. Beside him, Spock stiffened slightly. Jim soundlessly cleared his suddenly thick throat.

"I know he's the man who contracted the attack on the orphanage in Kabul because they housed wounded soldiers during raids. The man in charge of the operations in Ghazi with men and women stationed all around the strip who like to use suicide bombs in the middle of crowed streets. He's the reason Forward Operating Base Griffin in Kunduz was attacked... " Jim bit the side of his lip as faces of some of the men he'd known flashed through his mind. He tried to fight it but a sinking feeling filled his gut as he remembered their smiling faces and heard their promises of drinks back in the states when all of this was over.

Since politics and war go hand-in-hand there had been a time in the middle of Jim's deployment that he'd been ordered to attend a two week conference at the Operating Base. However, because of IED's, booby-trapped roads and general studpidness when it comes to people actually agreeing on the best course of action when it comes to traveling across Afghanistan and whether or not they should break boarders entering into Pakistan and Iran to get to their goal of Farah, it had taken longer than two weeks. The mission – which Jim would not even be involved in – had already been approved by the government and so they needed logistics. The only reason Jim was even there was so that he could represent his unit. It had been frustrating with forty self-righteous soldiers in a room together with dueling ranks and big egos. The two week conference got changed to three weeks then a month when it was all said and done. At first Jim had been pissed, he'd been ordered to the base on the other side of Afghanistan away from Spock, his right hand man and away from his solders for too long, but then he had actually started talking to the other men.

Charlie Henderson who had an extreme resemblance to a guy Jim had dated in high school had asked him to play cards two weeks into the conference - the day after it was scheduled to end. Jim had been resident at first, paperwork and sleep deprived already from the long days that turned into late nights of men subtly sliding snide remarks to each other in the middle of their otherwise politically correct speeches. But Charlie really did look like Jack Dawning from tenth grade and though the man wasn't Jack some familiarity couldn't hurt. Charlie introduced him to Jodie, a woman in the mechanics division stationed at Griffin. Jodie, five three, hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet and could hold her own in a group of guys. Next came Micheal then Shane and then suddenly their game of cards turned into a round of poker with ten men and a few women and one night became two and suddenly Jim found himself surrounded by people who he could call his friends. When the month was over he had hugged Charlie, Michael, Jodie and patted them on the back with the promise to stay in touch. Turned out Charlie had family in Iowa, they'd made plans to meet up when their tours ended in six months.

When Jim had gotten back from his two week-turned-month visit to Griffin he had been welcomed with a cheers. Apparently Spock had been a little hard on his men.

When he'd heard that the military base had been struck four days after he'd gotten back to Camp Greyback, his first thought was to take his men out and get their asses to the red zone to help, but he couldn't and wasn't allowed. He had even filed for a transfer but his papers had come back with a Denied written across the top.

It took another five days for the names of the confirmed KIA to be released. Jim had been slumped over in his seat with his face pressed into his hand as Archer, the commanding officer of Camp Greyback and ranking officer of Bravo Company 5th Battalion Infantry Division rattled off the names. Spock had been next to him with everyone else under his command standing or sitting around him as they listened to the older man read. The entire camp had been filed into the mess hall, since it was the only place large enough to hold the number of soldiers stationed here. All were in attendance as they stood or sat or slumped but stayed silent and respectful. Jim prayed he wouldn't hear anyone he knew. He wasn't a praying man but right then he prayed and he prayed hard. There were no Atheists in foxholes.

He knew it was selfish of him and borderline unbecoming of an officer to pray for it to be other men's friends, other mother's sons and other people's loved ones.

But then his heart sank as Archer read off one name...

Mechanics Specialist First Sergeant Jodie Forrester.

Then another name...

Private First Class Shane Savich.

Just when Jim thought it was over Archer read off one more name and at that moment Jim understood what it was like to feel like he was paralyzed. He couldn't move, felt like he couldn't breathe.

Command Sergeant Charlie Henderson.

Jim couldn't feel his hands as they were gently pulled away from his face. He hadn't even noticed he'd been shaking until Spock placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed with that inhuman strength he seemed to have at odd times. The list was still being read as someone from the back gave a sob and Jim looked over to see it was one of his men who was shaking his head and muttering.

"No... No..."

It was then that he noticed all around there were tears in eyes and faces red with sadness or anger or both. Everyone had anger even if they didn't know any of the people killed. They had anger because when they joined the service they were taught that they were no longer individuals, they were now a team - a family. Out there when bullets are flying and orders are being yelled over comm units it was not about saving yourself. It is about saving the guy next to you.

When the list was finally done being read the room was silent other than the small sniffs or the rustle of movement until Archer began to speak.

"Forward Operating Base Griffin suffered thirty-eight KIA with twenty-seven of those being American. There were also forty-nine others wounded... Let's have a prayer, Gents."

And Jim had bowed his head thinking about those people who would never make it home...

After the attack there'd been Al-Qaeda and Taliban leaders stepping forward claiming they were the ones who orchestrated the attack on the base. Everyone wanted to take credit for killing the soldiers that were on their land. All of the insurgents wanted to claim that it was them who got out of their murder holes and attacked the enemy, they wanted the honor of saying they slipped passed the Allied Forces defenses and killed. It made Jim sick to his stomach and if he threw up a few times after the names were read and they were dismissed well then, he wasn't the only one. Spock was the only one who noticed the sickly pallor of his complexion.

It took a few days before it was proven that the man – if he was even a man at all or a group of people, some speculated it was the name of tightly knit Taliban higher ups – named Khan who ordered the attack.

Pike looked at Jim pulling him from his memories. The older man then looked back down at his paperwork. Spock took a step forward.

"If I may Captain, I believe Khan is also responsible for the attacks on several Armed Forces bases along with leading the charge on raids into civilian villages and the massacre of children and woman alike. He is high in the leadership and was a trusted man in Saddam Hussein rein at the beginning of the war. However now he is a criminal and a wanted man."

"That's right..." Pike nodded before he stood up and folded his arms towering over Jim, "And we know where he is."

Letting out a harsh breath Jim stood suddenly with his heart pounding and the rush of blood filling his ears. The chair he had been sitting in was flung back scraping the ground. "What – sir – what?"

"Please clarify," Spock, always the rational mind, asked by Jim's side. Pike billowed out a few papers and turned some around to show the men.

"Are either of you familiar with Section 31?" Both younger men shook their heads. Pike nodded, "I didn't think so..." He cleared his throat. "The following conversation is not to leave this room under direct orders of the secretary of war. Section 31 is a mixture of the best and worst the military has to offer. It's the Black Ops and the Greek Berets and the best of the best. Intelligence and advanced weaponry all mixed together to form a section of the military so secretive and well-kept that they almost don't exist." Jim shivered, what the hell were his orders are going to be? Pike continued, "There's been an ongoing operation to get the whereabouts of Khan and they have. They've gathered enough information and enough intelligence to know exactly where the man is now."

"So what's the problem?" Jim questioned when Pike was silent for a moment.

"The problem is General Archer and Admiral Marcus. The man running the Khan case of 31, is Marcus and Marcus wants Khan dead –"

"What's the problem with that?" Jim spat interrupting his commanding officer with malice in his voice. Khan was the reason his friends were dead.

Pike looked at him with hard eyes. "The problem, Kirk, is that Archer believes the man deserves more than a quick death. He deserves to pay for his crimes." Spock eyed Jim then turned back to Pike. Pike handed Jim a thick file that was almost bulging at the seams with papers. Jim took it weighing heavily in his hands. "That's where we come in. We've been ordered by General Archer to apprehend Khan and bring him back to the states for trial before Marcus's men can come in and go through with their plan of assassination."

A small part of Jim wanted to agree with Marcus and just shoot the bastard on sight. He was angry, he'd admit it. That man was the reason innocent people were dead. But then the other part of him, the rational soldier who had been trained to put his feelings on the back burner to get his mission done and his soldiers home knew bringing the man to justice to see trial was the best and smartest option. It was the right thing to do.

Spock shifted next to him, "Why us, sir? Why not the men from Section 31? Certainly there are men qualified to undertake a mission of this severity." Pike nodded the question was valid.

"Well Spock, that's another problem. Right now the brass is focused on ending the war, we got Hussein, we got Bin Laden and we've flushed out most of the major heads of the Taliban. It's late in the war and while there's a call for blood there's even more people who just want the war to end and get home. Taking out Khan could spark another round of fighting for the War on Terror and if the public found out that about it it would cause outrage. There'd be riots in the streets and people would be angry. Ever since the Snowden scandal there are hard eyes on Section 31 and even harder eyes on the president. This all has to be hush-hush and it would be hard to transport people and vehicles to right where we are without the general public finding out, what with all the damn news reporters sniffing around this country. The point is, this is our mission. To find and arrest Khan and bring him to trial."

"You said you knew where he is?" Jim asked. Pike motioned with his head towards the papers.

"He's is hiding in one of the villages near the Naheem Province only thirty kilometers from here."

Spock arched an eye brow, "Why would he risk being so close to a known military camp?"

"He's a cocky bastard." Pikes eyes crinkled at the sides. Jim shook his head looking down at the folder in his hands. Pike placed his hands behind his back for a few seconds before he sat down going over a few more documents. Jim didn't know why but for some reason he felt a bad taste in his mouth. He could believe that this Khan guy could think himself invincible and stray as close to a military camp as he wished but Jim thought there was more to it than that. It just didn't sit right.

"Your orders are to gather the men you think best to fit this mission and have them ready to go by twenty-three-hundred, three days from now. This will be a night op."

"Roger. How many men, sir?" Jim questioned.

"Twelve. You'll be given three Humvees. I want you and Spock here tomorrow morning at oh-eight-hundred and we'll go over the finer details. No one outside of your chosen men are to know of this mission. This is top secret and it'll need to remain that way if we are to have any chance of getting this guy." Jim nodded feeling this meeting draw to a close. He squared his shoulders feeling Spock do the same beside him and waited to be dismissed.

"One more thing before you go, Jim," Pike stood up from his desk with a small smile and picked up a box from one of his drawers. "These came for you." He said handing the black box to Jim who stood stiffly, if not a bit awestruck. Beside him, Spock relaxed slightly as a smile twitched across his features.

"Open it." The older man instructed to which Jim did. He pried open the black box to see two sets of captain's bars staring up at him with all their gleam and just a hint of glory.

"Captain..." Jim looked up from the box and over to the man who had lit the fire under his rebellious ass and gotten him into the Army. Captain Pike dipped his head with a glint in his eyes. "I put your name in a few weeks ago. It's your turn to lead the men, Jim. Fully lead them as a Captain."

"But-but what about you?"

"I'm going home," he said simply and with a look of serenity on his face. "Back to the states to see Number One, my tour is about over and I think she'd enjoy the news that I won't be taking another."

Spock tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing "Are you retiring, Captain Pike?"

Pike nodded, his smile turning sad, "I'm an old man, Spock. I was a part of the invasion of Panama and served in the Gulf and Bosnian wars. I've done my part in Operation Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. This is my fourth tour in this war and going on thirty-five years in the service. I think it's about time to settle down." Pike chucked, "I haven't been home since Jesus was a corporal." Jim smiled at the old term. Now that he really looked at the man Jim could see the graying hairs branching out from his temples and wrinkles that were lightly carved just to the sides of his eyes and forehead. In all honesty a man like Pike shouldn't even have been deployed as many times as he had but Pike was a stubborn old bastard. He went where the fighting was, where his men were. If his men were in trouble be bailed them out with air strikes or the call for heavy artillery assistance. Pike was the man whom everyone respected and no one talked back to. He was a man who had earned his title and more.

And Jim wanted to be just like him.

In all honesty Christopher Pike should have been pushing papers somewhere behind a desk with a different title coming before his name. Something like Major or General or, hell even President if they guy really wanted to. But all those names came with too much politics and not much action so he stayed and did his duty, Jim respected the man even more for it.

"Do you understand what you men need to do?" Spock and Jim both gave a curt nod, Jim closed the box deftly. "Good then get ready boys. Khan has killed too many soldiers and too many civilians. I don't care what we have to do, it's time to go get this son-of-a-bitch." Spock blinked at the word usage but a small part of him felt an inkling of pride and determination blossom and bloom in his chest.

"Hooah," Jim grunted. Heard, Understood and Acknowledged.

Captain Pike saluted, "Dismissed."

The sun was turning a deep shade of oranges and reds throwing it's long rays across the desert sand when Jim and Spock exited Captain Pikes office – after the older man had insisted on pinning his Captain's bars to his chest and giving him a hard hand shake. Jim had just opened his mouth to talk to Spock about the feeling he had in the pit of his stomach when he noticed someone waiting for them at the entrance to the building. "Sir!" Jim heard the sharp bellow next to him as he exited the building and smiled looking over at the young soldier who had come in earlier to his room to get his papers and was still, unfortunately, wearing his boot camp shorts. From a ways away he could hear the sounds of men yelling and laughing, Jim looked over seeing two men on the ground wrestling in the sand while others stood around them. Jim smiled at the boy trying to hold back the flash of annoyance that must've shown on his face for a second before he suppressed it. He was just so damn tired.

"How can I help you Corporal Meede?"

The younger man tilted his head in confusion, "I was told to report to you, Lieuten – uh, Captain, sorry. Captain." Jim looked at the kid who looked at his stripes with awe.

"And why would you need to report to me at…" Jim looked down at the inside of his wrist where his black watch faced. "Twenty-one-hundred?"

"Uh…" Meede stampered. Spock crossed his hands behind his back. "I was just told to stand here and wait for you, Captain." With a turn of his head and a run of fingers through his hair, Jim looked down at the younger soldier.

"You were told to just stand here." He clarified.

"Yes, Captain."

"And how long have you been standing here?" He wanted to add, wearing your boot camp shorts but he held his tongue.

"For a half an hour, Captain," Meede nodded his head to stamp his point. Jim tried not to laugh.

"A half an hour," he affirmed once more.

"Yes, Captain."

"And you've just stood here?"

"Roger, Captain."

"What if I had left command using the other door?" He didn't mean to keep the kid going really he didn't but after a three day mission with high intensity and tense nerves then being told he was to lead a mission to arrest the man responsible for the attack on Griffin, Jim just needed to have a bit of fun. Meede opened his mouth then closed it.

"I-I didn't think about that, Captain." Beside him, Spock lightly brushed his shoulder signaling that it was time to go. Meede looked at Jim meekly. "Sorry, Captain."

"I know my rank, Corporal," Jim said lightly. "You don't have to keep saying it."

Jim swore under his breath running a hand over his forehead and looking at the kid, damn Archer for not trusting him to get his reports in on time. Meede glanced at the thick folder in Jim's hands. "I could look over that and file it if you need me –"

"No." Jim snapped suddenly making the boy jump. He clutched the folder tighter to his chest knowing the contents were for his eyes only. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I mean no Corporal, I have everything handled for the night. You're free to go. Get some dinner and maybe think about changing into some cargo pants." At the look of confusion from the boy Jim looked around and coughed before continuing, "Because it'll start getting cold now that the sun's going down."

Meede seemed to understand that logic so he nodded and brought his hand up for a snappy salute, "Good evening Cap – uh, Sir." He finished with a flush before walking off at a quick pace. Spock looked to Jim and Jim to Spock before Spock rose and another one of his damned eye brows of doom and Jim shook his head not understanding the exchange between the kid and him.

"Corporal Lance Meede seems to have taken a liking to you." Jim crossed his arms hearing the folder crunch until he uncrossed them. He then rolled his eyes and turned away towards their living area and where his warm rack was just waiting for him to take a good night's sleep. Damn was he tired. Spock fell into step beside him. "Perhaps you should offer your autograph at your next meeting."

The blonde haired man laughed. "Hey, don't make fun of Boot-Camp-Shorts Guy alright? He's probably fresh out from the states."

"An FNG."

That made Jim stop in his tracks. He turned to face his stone faced friend. "Did you just use the acronym for Fucking New Guy, Spock?"

"As you and the others use the term to refer to individuals new to the country I felt it was an apt assessment." That made Jim almost double over as a barking laugh took hold of him. His eyes watered and face turned red. After a moment or two he sobered and wiped at his eyes before the tears could run down his face. He patted his friend on the shoulder turning away. "Never change Mister Spock. Never change."

Spock simple gave him a long suffering look and began walking towards their home away from home. Jim gave off a giggle now and then but the dark haired man ignored it in favor of watching the struggling men on the ground a ways in front of them. It was the same men who were wrestling earlier with no helmets nor Kevlar on, Spock could see it had been discarded along with their rifles to the side. Now it seemed like a group of men had stopped to watch as a larger soldier pinned down a smaller one with the smaller man's hands jerked back roughly as the larger man had all of his weight on him. Jim also looked over to the men as he heard the younger man struggle.

"Where are you trying to go?" The bigger soldier asked taking his hands off of the still struggling man below him yet having enough weight on him to succeed in pinning him to the ground. Jim stopped just outside the ring of laughing men and crossed his arms ignoring the crinkle of his papers. Spock, because he didn't leave Jim's side for fear the blonde haired man would do something stupid without him there to placate him, also stopped and stared at the two on the ground

"Go ahead. Go. Go. Do what you want. Try to get up." He looked down at the man who jerked his hands hard but continued to stay where he was. He almost resembled a turtles stuck on his back. The younger man gave a frustrated growl while the other soldier laughed pressing his face down in the sand. Jim recognized the bigger man, a scowl overtook his face. Quince, of course it was Quince. The large man with beefy hands and what seemed to be a permanent chip on his shoulder had to be the guy ruffing up one of the new soldiers. Jim knew Quince from training, this guy was an asshole.

"What do you think, Riley, should I embarrass you some'mo?" Quince, a Sergeant though Jim really didn't know how he had even advanced that far, asked the kid on the ground grabbing at the back of his head. The guy, Jim realized with a shock, was Kevin Riley. Private Riley had been on the last mission with Jim as his gunner. He was a good soldier. He did what he was told when he was told to do it.

Most of the time.

Jim was almost positive he had ordered the private to get some rack time in as soon as the mission wrapped up hours ago.

"Come on you sand baggin' son of a bitch, get your lazy ass up so I can knock you down again!" The bigger man yelled not giving Riley any slack to get back up. Finally Jim had had enough. With a swift hand he slammed his folder into Spock's chest where the other man caught it easily then Jim walked briskly over to the big Sergeant. Jim stooped down until he was eye level with Quince who still had the kid on his front with his face pressed into the hot sand.

"Hey come on don't be a shit bird," He blond haired man muttered quietly getting real close to the other soldiers face. He didn't need to yell, experience told him the quiet mutter of harsh words worked just as well as a loud dress down in front of the men. "Let the guy up and run another drill so he can see where he went wrong and you can stop looking like an asshole jackass and turn into a real fucking soldier. We're all in this goat fuck country together so either wise up or I'll see to it you'll be on shit burning duty for a month. Understood, Sergeant?"

The man glared up at him with a red face and barely suppressed anger making his body shake. Jim knew that without his rank displayed on his fatigues Quince would have already started fighting with fists flying and teeth baring. The two had gone at it a few times before back when they were both privates and it was encouraged to show off your strength in boot camp. But, as it was he was an officer and a respected one at that. Unbeknownst to Jim, Spock had saddled up to just beyond his right shoulder with his body taunt ready for a fight though he was far enough back that he wouldn't butt in if he wasn't needed. All around them other soldiers had begun to stop and stare, some even stepping closer also bristling for a fight and ready to choose a side or break it up before an CO should happen by and they'd all be put on Shit Duty. Most of the men recognized Jim Kirk from his blonde head and lean body crouched close and whispering to the sergeant who had the other clearly younger soldier pinned to the ground.

The man came close to Jim's face. "You think because you're a Captain now you're hot shit? Well listen here you-"

"Whoa, whoa, princess," Jim forced himself to grin and his body to relax. Nonchalance. "I would simmer down there soldier before you say something that you're gonna regret." With a few more whispers back and forth between the two soldiers Jim patted the man on the back and got to his feet. The sergeant snarled at him but let Riley go then stalked away with a dark cloud hovering above him.

"Alright shows over! Get the fuck outta here," Jim yelled at the soldiers who were standing around. The men were just as quickly scattered seeing the determined look in the young captain's eye.

"You good Kevin?" Jim asked helping the man to his feet.

"Yes sir," he nodded.

"If that guy gives you any more problems make sure you come to me or," Jim jammed his thumb behind himself at Spock without looking back, "or talk to that scary looking guy behind me and we'll take care of it, got it?"

"Roger."

"Good."Jim turned his back clearly done with the intervention and ready to be on with his day which he hoped would consist of superman jumping up onto his rack and falling asleep until his next tour.

"That was very-" Spoke began but Jim just waved him off with the side of his hand. Spock nodded, "Very well..." He then stayed quiet for a few long minutes as the pair made their way to their small home away from home. Before they entered their plywood shipping containers turned quarters the slightly taller man placed a hand on Jim's shoulder forcing him to a stop and turning him around then placing the folder back into Jim's hands. "I look forward to finally being justified when I refer to you as my Captain, Jim." With that he opened the door and disappeared inside greeting the yells of hello! from inside coming from their roommates Mitchell and Hendorff.

Jim stood outside feeling a smile tug at his lips momentarily forgetting about the cold of the night and the sand in his boots. He let himself feel the satisfaction of finally reaching his goal to not become like his father but stand as tall as his father had once stood with his own Captain's bars gleaming off his chest. He didn't stand there long however. He had a lot of work to do if they were to go outside the wire in three days. He needed to set up a team and read the intelligence packet Pike had given him. If he wanted to finally get Khan then he had a lot of work to do. Silently, Jim opened the door hearing the pop, pop, pop of gunfire out in the distance of Camp Greyback but ignoring it as he entered into his living area.

Iowa

Jim stared blankly at the ceiling watching as the fan above him blew warm air lazily down on his body. He'd just woken up from his nap and could still feel sleep tugging at him to come back. He slowly looked over at the digital alarm next to his bed and frowned. It was past five o'clock in the afternoon, he'd been asleep for longer than he'd wanted to. Jim was surprised to not feel the regular irritation at the thought of lying in bed for most of the day. Maybe it was the extra meds Bones had given him to help with the discomfort he felt while he slept. He shifted in his bed noticing that someone had covered him up – his mother most likely. She'd all but ordered him to bed as soon as they'd gotten back from the hospital and Jim had been all too accepting feeling exhausted after his appointment earlier that day. Across the room he could see his leg where it sat against the wall looking out of place. Bones had said he shouldn't wear the prosthetic for a few days because the back of his knee wasn't looking quite right and the less strain on it the better.

It was strange, at times he felt like he could still feel his leg. Sometimes he felt his toes run against one another or his calf itch. On occasion he even felt pain coming from his right ankle that wasn't there. It was a disconcerting feeling pain from a limb that wasn't even there. But, it was getting better. He was getting better every day.

At least his body was anyways.

Jim shook his head not wanting to think about the dream he had just had. It hadn't been anything bad, surprisingly. He hadn't dreamed about the attack. His dream had been oddly peaceful, in fact. Peaceful but heartbreaking all the same.

He had dreamed that he was in his Humvee with Spock driving and him in the command seat to the right. It was strange because even in dream world Jim knew that Spock drove, he was always in the driver's seat even though he was smart enough and skilled enough to lead his own missions without Jim. The man was lethal grace when he drove maneuvering the largest of vehicles with precision and almost asinine perfection. They always rode in the same Humvee, it was theirs by mutual agreement. There was nothing really substantial about the vehicle, it was just a regular attack and transport Humvee but they'd still named it. Enterprise, because of some joke Jim had said that Spock had rolled his eyes at about them being enterprising young men. The gunner and communications positions would change people around but it was always Spock in the drivers seat and Jim in command. In his dream Spock was driving and he looked as peaceful and blank faced as Jim could ever remember. Neither of them had said a thing as they drove through what looked like a great desert. It was peaceful, the sun wasn't too hot and the truck didn't kick up any dirt. There was no threat, just the two of them who had been friends for so long sitting quietly enjoying the ride...

Jim felt tears prickle his eyes and run down the side of his face.

Don't think about him, Jim. Don't think about Spock.

But he did. He did want to think about the man who had saved his life countless times. The man he hated at the beginning of boot camp but had grown to love like a brother. He wanted to think about his best friend.

But he's dead. Spock is dead. Killed in action... The voice in his head tormented him. Jim buried his face into his pillow and let a quiet sob escape him. I should have known it was a trap. Why didn't I figure it out sooner?

"Spock! Spock we gotta get out of here, it's a trap. Adam, eyes out! Gary get someone on comms."

"Sir–" Hendorff, behind the gun and confused, startled by Jim's outburst and too slow to react. The pop, pop, pop of gun fire sounded hitting somewhere too close kicking up dirt and rocks. Hendorff knelt down up in the gun torrent and let loose a warning round. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

Jim's heart raced as he tried to get ahold of the vehicle in front of them using his radio but it wasn't working. They needed to turn around. They needed to get out of here before this turned into a hot zone and they would be stuck. They were going to get choked on this small road. Spock, eyes ablaze, twisted to Jim. "Captain– "

That's when the first bomb went off sending the vehicle in front of them up and over on itself in a fiery somersault of carnage and blood.

"Jimmy baby are you–" a voice startled Jim making him jerk roughly into a sitting position. His body was taunt waiting for an attack. Winona quickly put her hands up showing that she wasn't a threat – something she had to do far too often.

"It's alright Jim it's just me. It's just your mom."

Breathing quickly Jim blinked the tears from his eyes feeling his body shake but relax. He closed his eyes pressing the heal of his hand into his face. "Sorry ma."

"Nonsense," Winona shushed walking slowly to her son's bed. "Nothing to be sorry for, baby. Did you have another dream?"

"It would be weird if I didn't… but this one was different, I wasn't scared." Winona's eyes grew wide. "It was just me and Spock driving around inside the Enterprise. We weren't even talking just sitting and looking out the window. It was… peaceful."

Winona smiled sadly down at her son before stretching herself slowly out beside him. She lay her head back against the wall next to her son then slowly – so he could see what she was doing – brought her hand up to rest on his chest. Jim sat still for a moment before he scooted over just enough to lay his head on his mother's stomach and curl into her side like he used to do when he was a child and had a nightmare. Winona ran her hand through his longer than usual hair. She started humming and Jim's eyes closed almost on their own. He wasn't tired, or at least not tired enough to fall asleep again after sleeping for so long but his body felt heavy and his head was warm where it was cradled on her stomach. Her finger nails lightly caressed his scalp making shivers run down his spine. His mother's humming turned into a soft tune that lulled Jim into a kind of peaceful limbo between sleep and wakefulness.

"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…"