Chapter 15:

"I don't know what you're taking about. I just have a bad sense of direction. It's hereditary." Ryoga insisted, with a hint of defensiveness, as he sipped his tea. The midwife had dragged them downstairs, sat them at the table and demanded an explanation from him. He had no intention of answering her however. The number of people that already knew about his Jusenkyo curse was bad enough, to have someone find out that he was suffering the effects of two curses simultaneously would be doubly embarrassing.

"You can't possibly think I would buy that." The old crone raised her eyebrow in skepticism.

"Believe what you'd like." He replied casually, letting nothing show on his face.

"That's very unfortunate." She sighed dramatically and turned her eyes toward Ranma, "An explanation may have helped explain Ranma's recent inability to find her way. Possibly even led us to find a solution."

Ryoga's eyes widened in shock as he looked at Ranma, "You've been getting lost?" He asked, his voice laced with panic.

Ranma had been silent up to this point, having no idea what was happening to her, she'd had little to contribute. "Sorta," She began to explain, "I don't feel like I'm lost at the time. I know exactly where I'm going, 'cept that's not where I end up. It's so weird. Like I can get from one floor to the next and have no memory of going up the stairs. At first it only lasted a few seconds and I'd realize I was going the wrong way, it's taking longer to snap outta it now."

Sweat was beading on Ryoga's forehead as he listened to Ranma describe the all too familiar sensation. That's not possible. It's not contagious. The only way to be effected is… A look of horror crossed his face as his eyes shifted to Ranma's abdomen …to be a Hibiki! He shot up suddenly out of his chair, "Arrh!" He cried, "How could I have been so stupid?" Reaching up, he hit himself in the forehead with his palms over and over. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I didn't even think… it didn't even occur to me…

Ranma could feel the depressive cloud building around the lost boy as she watched him berate and abuse himself. She had no idea what had come over him, but she couldn't let him continue.

-SMACK-

There was silence in the dining room as Ryoga blinked in surprise and slid back into his chair. "Sorry." He muttered.

"S'alright." Ranma replied as she flexed her stinging fingers and tried not to let on how much slapping him had hurt.

"Ready to explain now?" The midwife asked.

"I…" Ryoga began, he'd never told this story to anyone before and he wasn't sure where to start. I suppose the best way would be… "It started with my parents, long before I was born." Looking at Ranma, he asked, "Did I ever tell you what my parents do for a living?" She shook her head in response. "They're archaeologists. Not just any archaeologists, but world famous ones. They have made a lot of really important discoveries around the globe, but the first big discovery they ever made was a hidden room in an Egyptian pyramid. Once they'd discovered the room, it took them months to get inside. The door was sealed and booby trapped, one wrong move could have collapsed the tunnel leading to the room, crushing them. When they finally got inside, the room only contained one object, a golden slab engraved with hieroglyphics. At first they left it where it was. As dad searched the room for hidden compartments, my mom translated the tablet. It was a map, not only intended to lead the Pharaoh's soul to the afterlife, but also to confuse wayward spirits that might hinder the Pharaoh's journey."

Ranma was amazed by the story, she'd never met Ryoga's parents, despite the many times that she had led him home. It was interesting to know that they were actually kinda famous.

Ryoga continued, "Everything was fine while they studied the tablet in that room, but everything changed when they tried to remove it. As soon as they lifted it from the dais it was sitting on, wind and light flooded the tunnel. A booming voice warned them that if the map was stolen, those responsible would be forever cursed. Not just themselves, but their children," He paused here and looked apologetically at Ranma, "and their children's children, for all of eternity."

The revelation caused Ranma to shudder, unconsciously, her hand drifted protectively to rest over her tiny bump.

"My mom wanted to put it back, to stop right there, but my dad didn't believe in magic or curses. He thought that this was an amazing trick set up by the tomb builders. He convinced her to help him remove the tablet and promised that they would return to find the source of the voice, assuring her that it would be a fantastic discovery if they could prove ancient Egyptians were capable of voice recording. Once they were out of the tomb however, they became horribly lost. They wandered through deserts, jungles, forests and fields. My mother tried to convince him to leave the tablet behind, certain it was the cause of their misfortune. Finally, he gave in. Not wanting people to stumble into it and become cursed themselves, he dropped it down a dry well in what he thinks was the English countryside. The curse however remained. They haven't been able to find their way since, though that has only increased their fame. They have accidentally stumbled upon ruins, lost cities, tombs and treasures. The museum they work for gives them location trackers that they put down at the site of each new find, which lead the museum employees to the sites to investigate.'

"They gave it up for a while when I was born, they said that it was no life for a baby. When I was old enough to walk, they discovered that the voice had not lied, I too was cursed to forever roam, never knowing where I am. Mom was distraught, she blamed herself and she was determined to find a cure. She tracked down a fortune-teller, after an exceedingly long search, and was told that the only way to end the curse was to return the tablet to the tomb from which it came. That's why they took up wandering again, they decided that I was old enough to take care of myself and set off to cure the curse. They haven't had any luck however, nor have any of the museum employees that have tried to find a site matching my father's description." He sighed, having finished his story. "I'm sorry Ranma." The depression in his eyes was obvious as he hung his head, for he had finally realized that he had doomed his offspring to the same miserable lifestyle as his own.

The depression was contagious as Ranma imagined a life of forever trying to keep her child from getting lost, worrying that each moment could be the last she'd see of him/her for weeks, months or years at a time. Babysitting Ryoga was frustrating enough already. Trying to keep two of them from… Wait a minute. "If the curse is passed down to children, then why am I affected?"

Xiao Tao had an answer to that, "You carry the child within you, its life force tied to your own. You are as one, and will remain so until the baby's birth, at which time you will no longer feel the curse's effects. The child will then carry the full burden itself." Probably.

"No way! I'll find a way to break the curse!" Ranma declared.

"Well it's quite simple then, you just have to find that tablet and return it." The midwife said, as though it was really that simple.

"It's no use." Replied Ryoga, seemingly devoid of emotion. "They've searched for years. Dad thought they were in England, but they could have been anywhere."

"Ah, but they didn't have what I have." The woman's eyes sparkled mischievously.

Ryoga was doubtful that the old woman anything that could be of use, the tone of his reply made that blatantly obvious. "Oh, and just what might that be?"

The midwife grinned triumphantly, "A set of cursed dowsing rods."

He was glad that he hasn't gotten his hopes up. "The well was dry, finding water won't help."

"That's just fine. The rods don't locate water, they track curses," She paused for effect, "or the source thereof." She finished.

"And you'll let us use them?" Ranma asked as Ryoga finally let himself feel a modicum of hope.

"For a price." The old woman's grin turned predatory. Her target was in sight.

Of course… Ranma sighed internally, nothing could ever be easy. "What do you want from us?"

"The world midwifery martial arts tournament is coming up. I birthed only one daughter in all my years, she forsook the clan however when she met a Japanese doctor and became enamoured with the medicine of the west. For a woman of the Bear Tribe to pursue western medicine is to dishonour her heritage. The other elders banished her and she ran away with her lover, Iichiro's father." The midwife lamented. "I have only grandson's, I have had no female heir to keep my family's traditions alive. I made you my apprentice in the hopes that you would compete as a representative of my family's school."

Is that all? If it's martial arts, it'll be a cinch. "So all I gotta do is compete and you'll let us use the rods?"

"No, I will let you use the rods and you will promise, on your honour as a martial artist, to return, complete the training and compete. You're no good to me if you can't find your way." It was harsh, but true. The competition would be fierce, her entrant had to be in top form.

Ranma didn't hesitate to agree, "It's a deal!"

The next morning, Xiao Tao led the teens to the mystery door in the upper hallway. "Stand back now," She warned. "What lies within this room is incredibly dangerous." With a deep breath, the old crone reached out and turned the knob. The door slowly creaked open. Ranma and Ryoga edged away cautiously as the door opened…

…and years of hoarded junk, that wouldn't have looked out of place in Mousse's sleeves, poured into the hallway.

"That's what was so dangerous?" Ranma shouted. "Your garbage crushing us to death?"

"Of course not! Every single piece is magical, some of them are cursed." She explained. "One wrong move and you could summon a demon, go bald, or even find yourself permanently wearing a pair of pink hot pants." She shuddered at that thought. "So start looking, but don't try anything on, don't rub any lamps, don't drink any potions and for goodness sake, don't test any weapons!"

They slowly began to search through what Ranma thought must be at least a thousand magical artifacts. The first item she picked up was a novelty singing fish on a plaque, she tossed it aside carelessly. Next came a pair of false teeth that attempted to bite her, she threw them away with more force than the previous object. There was a pair of novelty glasses with a moustache attached, a sock puppet, a statue of a koala smoking a cigar, a bottle of mermaid tears, a crossbow and a stuffed tarantula, but so far, no dousing rods.

Ranma looked up to see how Ryoga was making out. To her surprise and horror, he had turned quite pale and was holding what looked like a Koi Rod. "Don't even think about it buddy." She scolded him as she imagined him running off to get another shot at Akane, or worse yet, making her a lovesick, mindless fool again.

"I wasn't!" His cheeked flushed with embarrassment. Finding the rod had simply triggered unpleasant memories, which he had been reliving when Ranma looked his way.

That didn't make Ranma feel any better however. "Then put it down already!" She demanded, pointing at the rapidly growing pile of rejected objects littering the hallway. He rapidly complied and the search resumed.

Hours later the contents of the room had been almost entirely relocated to the hallway, but there had yet to be any sign of the proverbial needle in the haystack. Ranma flung a curly drinking straw out the door and picked up an Astroboy action figure. She paused to wonder just what magic it possessed when a cry of "Yes!" broke the silence of the room, causing her to lose all interest in the toy.

Ryoga was holding two bent wires with wooden handles over his head triumphantly. "These are them, right?" He asked the midwife, who nodded affirmatively. "Great!" There was a long pause, "So, how do we use them?"

"As the person whose curse's origin we are attempting to locate, you must use the rods. You hold one in each hand and you follow wherever they point. As you have two curses, it would be best to concentrate on the correct curse so they don't become confused." Xiao Tao instructed.

He nodded and held the rods aloft, they swivelled to the left. Just as he was about to take a step he hesitated, "Wait, my father thought he was in England, we can't just walk there."

"How well can you swim? I can't afford to send you by aeroplane."

Unable to decide whether or not the midwife was joking, Ryoga answered seriously. "Ranma and I both swam to China and back. We could go there first, then walk, if we're both cursed however, we could lose our way before we get there. If we follow the rods though, we could come ashore anywhere." He wasn't keen on washing up in North Korea. Worse yet was the risk of accidentally heading out to sea.

Ranma laughed suddenly, "We'd end up just as lost as we did on the training journey. Only we'd be getting ourselves lost this time, not that damn…" She trailed off. Her head shot up at the same time as Ryoga's. Their eyes locked, both shining with understanding.

"The map!" They exclaimed synchronously.

Not a second had passed before Ranma had charged out of the room. She scaled the mountain of junk in the hall rapidly and carelessly, in her eagerness to reach the map she didn't even notice that fireworks were erupting all around and that something was smoking ominously. Once in her room she pulled the parchment from her backpack, having never bothered to put it away.

"I need ya to send us somewhere!" Ranma demanded.

"Hello to you too, I'm fine, thanks for asking." The fox spirit answered curtly. She was still a little sore from being so rudely stuffed into the cramped bag.

"Yeah, yeah. Hello." Ranma replied flippantly before carrying on. "So me 'n Ryoga gotta get to England. You can do that with your magic, right?"

Had Ranma humoured the spirit, she may have been more accommodating. As it was however, the spirit's reply was, "I can, in exchange for your assistance."

Why does everyone always ask for favours first? "What do you want?"

"Freedom."

Well that was easy. "I already freed you from Happosai. So pay up."

"No, freedom from this prison." The spirit gestured around with her hands. "Release me from this parchment and I will do as you ask."

How the heck am I supposed to do that? Ranma verbalized this thought.

"I was drawn with a magical pencil, I can only be released by its counterpart, the magical eraser."

"Huh… I wonder if Xiao Tao has one, she's got just about everything else." Ranma wondered aloud.

The spirit shook her head, "Even if she did, each pencil is linked to its own eraser, a matched pair. There exists only one that can free me from my bonds."

Ranma slumped back against the bed, "It's hopeless then, how am I supposed to find a single eraser, it could be anywhere."

"No, I know exactly where it is." The spirit shivered. "It is attached to the end of the pencil. The very same pencil that that disgusting old man used to seal me away. He keeps it tucked in his gi at all times."

To Ranma's ears that was almost worse. Finding a single eraser sounded like a much easier task than stealing from the perverted old fart. Especially if she didn't want to be caught. She sighed loudly and trotted back out into the hall to deliver the news.

The midwife and Ryoga did not look very pleased with her. Their clothes were singed and the wallpaper seemed to be charred and the junk pile was noticeably smaller, hotter and smokier than when she had seen it last.

"So…" She began cluelessly, "What's up?"

It had been a very long time indeed since Ranma had used the technique that her father had sealed away (and by sealed away, she meant that he had her swear on her honour as a marital artist to never again use it or to teach it). She knew full well that it was too powerful for this world, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Sorry Pops, I know I swore not ta use it again, but… As she neared the Tendo Dojo she curled in on herself and vanished into the shadows. Ranma was going in alone, she had decided that was best, as with the Umi-sen ken she could theoretically slip in and out again unnoticed.

Not a soul noticed her as she slid into the house and under the floorboards, she came up directly into Happosai's bedroom. The old goat appeared to be sound asleep, but appearances can be deceiving, so Ranma didn't let the technique drop. She was disgusted to note that he slept not on a futon, but in a nest of ladies' underwear. With every bit of speed that she possessed she searched the freak's gi. She had found a dozen Happo Fire bombs, but so far no pencil. Half way through her search he suddenly rolled over, startling her, thankfully he did not wake up. His change in position fortunately allowed her to locate the pencil.

She turned to leave, pencil in hand. She was almost to the dislodged floorboard when she felt it. Two tiny, wrinkled, absolutely revolting hands were squeezing her bosom. Ranma ground her teeth in aggravation, but tried not to lose her temper. She did not want to alert the rest of the house to her presence. It was a lost cause however, a furious roar of "Get your damn hands off her!" accompanied by the sound of glass shattering, rang through the Tendo home. Ranma was shocked to see that Ryoga had followed her and had just come crashing through the bedroom window.

It seemed as though every door in the house could be heard opening at once. Damn, damn, damn! Thought Ranma as she realized he had just blown her whole cover. "What the hell Ryoga?" she yelled, incredulous and angry, as she attempted to punch the diminutive pervert that was still clinging to her, but Happosai wriggled out of the way of her fists.

"I uh, thought you could use some help?" Ryoga gulped nervously. It was obvious that he'd screwed up.

"Ranma…" Happosai looked up at her with watery eyes. "Tell me it isn't so."

Ranma wondered what he was talking about until she realized that he'd wriggled his way right onto her growing baby bump.

"Why? Why?" Happosai wailed.

Ranma paled and redoubled her efforts to get the pint-sized perv off of her. It was to no avail however, she was unable to dislodge him. I gotta get outta here! She decided that she should escape first and remove him later. Turning, Ranma grabbed Ryoga's arm with more force than necessary and prepared to jump out the window.

"If you wanted to get pregnant, you should have come to me!" Happosai bawled loudly at the exact same moment the bedroom door burst open.

Ranma barely heard him though. The world seemed to fall away as Ranma glanced back and every ounce of her attention focused on her mother, who was standing in the doorway clutching the family's honour sword in a white-knuckled death grip.