Hi friends! I'm taking the time this summer to re-edit the chapters and then submit some new content while we're at it! There will be some changes, here and there! It's been a long time- I'm in college now and I've got very different insight; but hopefully yall still love this as much as you did back in 2014! Disclaimer: some of this content is repurposed from the book. Enjoy!

Currently listening to: Twentytwo by Sunflower Bean.

Queen Castle, My Room, 8 pm, August 30th, Hiding it Out From The Goblins Who Are Convinced I Should Burn Apple White's Summer House Down:

Well, I'm pretty sure tomorrow won't be a total bust.

Ach, who am I kidding? I have goop in my hair and pea-butter in my teeth and I'm supposed to go and talk to my mother in what? Sixteen hours? Twenty four hours? Whatever after, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to talk tomorrow night and I'm not ready. I'm nowhere near ready. (and then, I'M SUPPOSED TO GO TO SCHOOL? My fairy godmother is not good.)

I have got to go through another year of enduring people calling me 'e-vile'… emphasis on both terms! Well, it's not good to think about unhappy things. I've had a great summer. I spent a bunch of time with all of my friends- both evil and good. I went to a few concerts; watched a lot of TV and most importantly, got some sleep.

This was one of the fairy best summers ever… if you forget the parts where Apple came over and her singing brought pigeons who pooped all over my autographed Fairy Potter collection. Honestly, sometimes I think that she has the IQ of a crayon box. All the blonde hair and the singing and the 'my happily ever after' crap gets on my nerves. Hex, I'm positive she thinks of me as something not even worth a chapter in her story. My finger's beginning to itch. FIGHT THE POWER, RAVEN! DON'T BLOW UP THE-

Ah shit. I really need to think happier thoughts.

"RAVEN EBONY QUEEN!" Cook yells.

And I'm royally in big-time trouble.

Queen Castle, My Room, 11 am:

T MINUS: 16 HOURS 3 MINUTES 17 SECONDS

Take deep breaths. Think happy thoughts.

My dad, the Good King, got me this on the basis that I don't vent out my emotions enough. I vent out my emotions all the time, ha-

Okay, okay, I don't. I'm a Queen, above reproach. (Unless, of course, it's from royalty of a better quality than me *cough* fight the urge, Raven, don't be talking like this.) I have to keep a stiff upper lip. No one cares about my opinion. It's been like that through Nursery Rhyme School, back when I was in Mother Goose's class and Mom was still around. I remember it like it was yesterday:

Sparrow Hood and his Merry Men were playing around with Legos and then I sat down to join them. They gave me the eye and hoarded up the Legos and left me with a black piece (I know. I still wonder if they really do manufacture black pieces anymore.)

"Hey, Sparrow, can I have some more?" I asked, nicely, because my dad told me it was nice to be nice.

"Raven, that's the only dark piece."

"So?"

"You can only get the one that matches your soul's color. And your soul's black, definitely the evilest in the land. Or at least, the playground," he sang into his kazoo.

That shit, as the youngsters say, hurted. It really changed me. And then it just got worse over the years. I've pretty much learnt to shut my mouth and blend in- or try to at least. That's pretty hard when you're tall and prone to outbursts of dark magic. Which usually scared everyone at school away- except Maddie, who doesn't always notices because she's… well… mad. Half the time, she's talking in Riddlish and I get a headache translating her for others. That's just Maddie on the outside. Sometimes, it feels like she's the only person I'll ever be able to trust completely, with everything, because under her craziness and insanity, there's a person who actually sees the real me. You know; the one that isn't evil.

Yep. I said it. I'm not evil. I'll never be evil. I don't want to be evil, I will not try to be evil and I can't stand being evil. Evil is for people like Voldemort and my mother because she's convinced it makes her skin smoother. Hex, I'm sure my mother and Voldemort would get along just fine. She'd steal Bellatrix's position in no time and she'd be Lady Voldemort. Although, I'm pretty sure my mom's a hardcore feminist/egotist so it'd HRH The Evil Lady Voldemort Queen.

When I was young, my mom had filled the castle with her own servants and allies. Dad hadn't been comfortable rubbing elbows with fiery-eyed warriors and scrabbling goblin hordes, dripping slime and chattering about the excellent flavor of people meat. Eventually my parents split the castle down the middle—his side and her side. Dad lived in the smaller portion with the servants, and I spent half of each week with him. Honestly, though- it was much better than Mom's side. He let me watch things I wanted to watch- not documentaries about Mom and her 'e-vileness'. *Shudder*!

On my sixth birthday, Dad gave me a puppy with curly white hair. I named him Prince. The next day, when I returned to Mom's part of the castle, Mom scowled at the dog like he was Dad and one of the maids laughing at something.

"A puppy? What was your father thinking? A dark sorceress can't be expected to take care of a puppy."

"I'll take care of him, Mother," I promised, regretting the idea of ever letting Prince in the room.

"You? But surely you're like me—allergic to all things cute and fluffy. Hmm, I know what we need to do. Come, let's make a puppy potion."

I skipped after her to the dungeon workshop, wondering what a puppy potion might do. Make a puppy bigger? Enchant a puppy to help him fly or speak?

After mixing, stirring, boiling, and muttering, the vial of black potion was complete. She told me to tip it over the dog.

"Here you go, boy," I said, pouring without hesitation.

The instant the black liquid touched Prince, the bouncy, wagging creature transformed into a bone rat. Bone rats were five times the size of normal rats, with spiky black fur and glowing red eyes, and lived on a diet of bones. *Shudder again*

"There, isn't that better?" she said triumphantly. "Powerful dark sorceresses like us are so much more comfortable with a bone rat for a pet."

"But…" I said, horrified. No, no, no… it was going all wrong.

"Raven, don't sulk," she said, her hands on her hips. "I'm doing what's best for you. Don't you want to grow up to be powerful and command an army of dark creatures? Of course you do. A puppy is only fit for one of those simpering, ballad-screeching, weak princesses who always do well and sit around waiting for a prince."

But… but I liked the puppy, I thought. And the bone rat scares me.

But what could I say to my mother the evilest person to ever traverse the surface of U.F.K? Hex, she had an entire cemetery dedicated to her. Not to praise her, as my mom liked to think. Oh no, she had this thing for all the people she killed, including Snow White's daddy.

The bone rat ran from me towards her, its claws clicking against the stone floor. It wrapped its long, hairless tail around Mom's ankle and made a horrible, raspy grunt.

"What should we name him?" the queen had asked. "How about Bubonick? Come on, Bubo!"

She had started up the stairs, Bubonick following. I had just stood there, staring after them, the empty vial still in my hand. I could feel something inside me snapping completely. Something that made me love my mother and wish to grow up and be just like her left and I was hit with a realization so powerful that it changed my life.

My mom was always saying, "Someday you'll grow up to be just like me!" like it was a good thing. Watching my puppy change into a bone rat had been the first time that I had thought, but I don't want to be like you, Mom.

From that day on, I was absolutely certain about two things: I didn't want to be evil. And I wanted to be free.

Uh-oh. Someone's knocking on the door…

False alarm; it was just Butternut and Pie.

"Raven!" Butternut cried, bouncing on my bed, "Are you hungry?"

"Very!" I replied, tickling him. I loved these two more than anything. Not only were they adorable and bringers of everything nice and edible, they were like the fairy godmother's replacement of siblings for me… that is, if I did have a fairy godmother.

Pie, his twin brother, always thought of himself as the mature child. He's dignified enough not to throw himself at me squealing, but when he saw how I'm swinging Butternut around; he lost it and joined Butternut on my bed.

"We brought you food!" they yelled.

They dragged in a huge basket piled with pastries and… oh, thank you non-existent fairy godmother… princess pea butter sandwiches.

I love those things. As a kid, I used to make my own sandwiches for me and everybody else. Then I'd take them around the castle and if anyone refused it- in fact, most people did- I'd keep it for myself. Then I'd go to her side of the castle and we'd split the sandwiches between us, giggling. And then we'd bicker over the last one and then she'd steal it and when I pouted, after telling me it wasn't good for an Evil Queen to be to pout, she'd relent and we'd share it. It was one of the few things that made me love my mom.

The twins and I began eating the sandwiches.

"Raven, sing for us," Pie said.

"Yeah!" Butternut chimed in, "You sing like Lorde, Pixie Edwards from Pixie Mix and Zayn Mirror all put into one!"

I felt flattered by their compliments and then I grinned.

"I'll sing for you, of course!"

Muse-ic is just my thing. Not to brag or anything, but it's the one thing I've always been good at, without any help from my dark magic. It's one of the few things I got from my dad's side of the family; so I'm really proud of it.

After I sang to them and tucked them in, Maddie texted me:

Maddie: The hatted hatter envoys greetings to the winged monarch.
Translation: Hi, Raven!
Me: Hey, Maddie!
Maddie: I can't wait to see you tomorrow night! Do you know there's Book-to-School party?
Me: You know nobody would want me to come to their party…
Maddie: What's up with the ellipsis, birdy?
Me: Nothing…
Raven!
Uh…
I'll be there in hex if you don't tell me. I'm not your Best Friend Till the End for any reason!
Fine, I promise I'll tell you tomorrow. I just can't say it on the phone.
Fine. You know I can't say no to you! Ever after what you did for me, I'll be there for you.

Oh, Maddie. How I love her. If anyone's been there for me till the end, it's her. Well, I'm fairy tired, so I'm going to bed.

T MINUS 12 HOURS 6 MINUTES 8 SECONDS.