A zombie, Horcrux, and an immortal sit down for tea. No, that was not the start of some poorly fashioned joke, but rather the first proper meeting with someone that, since the incident which left Seiga Kaku and her Jiang Shi Yoshika Miyako cast out into the modern world, genuinely interested her. After causing an incident so horrible and destructive, the devils, ghosts, and other various mythical beings in Gensokyo had unanimously decided that Seiga needed to get out of their haven before she destroyed it. After a series of events including yet another fight with a Kishin after her head, two bank robberies, and a run in with Wizards claiming her to be a Dark Lady after one look at her wonderful zombie underling, and, worst of all, house shopping, Seiga found herself sitting down with a living soul jar for tea.

"Uh Miss Kaku," started the boy.

"Please, call me Seiga," replied the blue-haired immortal.

"Uh, then, Miss Seiga. Why exactly did you ask to have me work for you?" asked the boy.

"Well Harry," began Seiga, "You see, Yoshika here has a bit of a health problem with her joints, and as such can't really move around well. There's a lot of work I need to do, and I felt it would be nice to have a helping hand around. When I was speaking with your Aunt Petunia, she mentioned that you were available, and needed some good, hard work. As such, I suggested that you work for me, do some odd jobs for me, and in return I give her some money," Seiga claimed. She was leaving out a few crucial details, such as her actual motivation, but the boy seemed satisfied with the response. As a centuries old hermit, and thus a being hunted very often by youkai or kishin, her sensory and masking magical abilities were ridiculously high. It was child's play for her to notice the wards over the neighboring house, and, under the pretense of wanting to be a kind neighbor, she visited Number Four, Privet Drive with the gift of food.

Now, if Mr. and Mrs. Dursley were one thing, it was normal. This meant that no, they did not violently abuse children, and no, they did not suddenly and rudely throw ought neighbors offering food, and no, they were not evil monstrosities in the flesh. In fact, the Dursleys were actually rather pleasant people (on the outside at least), and as such Seiga quickly became a friendly acquaintance to Petunia, and it was not peculiar to see her over for tea. Dudley and Harry usually were either out with friends or working in the garden during this time, but nevertheless they at least knew that their blue-haired neighbor came over for tea often. It was during one such visit that Seiga, being an expert on matters involving immortality and pseudo-immortality, noticed that Harry was, in fact, a walking, breathing phylactery of sorts. Being that Seiga was the kind of person who would latch on to anything remotely interesting, and that Privet Drive was a rather bland place, she immediately took an actue interest in the black haired boy, and, after carefully bringing the subject up, managed to secure the current arrangement. It would be interesting to see who thought it would be a good idea to leave, unprotected, a piece of their soul in a young boy in the middle of a random, non-magical suburb, and who would set up wards protecting someone else's Horcrux.

Harry, of course, was oblivious to all of this and merely poured another cup of tea for Yoshika, disguised by magics so that she resembled a sickly person rather than the Jiang Shi she was, and sitting down. The trio sat there, silently drinking tea for some time. Harry was intimidated by his new neighbors. Yoshika was nice, but something seemed… off about her, something that Harry couldn't explain. Seiga, on the other hand, simply gave off an aura of knowledge and wisdom, kind of like one of those old master martial artists. Harry simply couldn't help but feel nervous at the extended silence.

"So, Harry, are there any chores you are good at in particular," Seiga said, startling the boy.

"Umm… I make food a lot, and sometimes I help in the garden. Also, I clean a little bit," replied Harry. Seiga nodded.

"Good. You've already shown that you make passable tea, so what we shall do is that, after your schooling ends for the day on weekdays, you shall come here and clean the ground floor every day. Following that, you will maintain my garden. I would also like it if you cooked dinner at least two days out of the five. Should you wish, you may return to your home during any space in time you do not have work, or stay here until dinner is served. You may, of course, eat dinner with us if you cook it. In return, I will help you with any difficulties you are having in your studies and give money to your aunt who may give you a portion should she choose. Is this acceptable," said Seiga. Harry was too intimidated by the woman to do anything but nod silently. Seiga smiled, and continued to enjoy her tea silently. The rest of the meeting passed by without incident, and Harry left afterwards. Yoshika lumbered over to her room, and Seiga retired to the upper floor, planning on how to figure out whose soul was in Harry.

Harry found that he rather enjoyed his time working at Number 3 Privet Drive. His home was not exactly the most welcoming of places, and working in a house meant that Dudley couldn't bring his gang over to bother him. Additionally, the work itself wasn't too bad. Seiga didn't give him too much to clean, as the ground floor was rather easy to clean, and he wasn't allowed upstairs so he didn't have to clean that. Plus, the garden was not too difficult to maintain and he enjoyed gardening anyways so it wasn't a chore at all. Lastly, he got to eat as much as he wanted when he cooked for Seiga and Yoshika, so he always was full after he cooked dinner for them. It became a regular part of his day. First he went to school, trying just enough to pass, but not quite enough to outshine Dudley, then off to Seiga's home to work, then dinner, and finally he was allowed to go home. His aunt and uncle didn't bother him after he worked for Seiga, probably because if they overworked him Seiga would notice and would become suspicious, breaking their image of 'pleasant, normal people' in her eyes. Naturally, he did work for them on weekends and holidays, but it was a significantly lower amount than before Seiga moved in. The best part, however, was learning from Seiga and Yoshika.

Yoshika didn't actually teach him much, mostly because it was hard for her to speak. Harry wasn't sure exactly what it was, but apparently Yoshika had a rare disease that left her motor skills very very bad. She had difficulty moving, as if her joints couldn't bend properly. If that wasn't all, she was also incredibly forgetful, even of the most basic things like Harry's name. When Harry found out that Yoshika was never allowed outside, he was worried that it might be because Seiga was like the Dursleys, but he realized that it was almost purely out of concern for her safety that Yoshika was confined to the home. She simply was not able to move well enough or remember enough to properly function alone outside. Despite all of this, Harry knew Yoshika was smart. She did, after all, help him whenever he needed help with something he read, no matter what it was. Her vocabulary was immense, and she often used words even Seiga didn't know. Sometimes Yoshika would even spout lines of poetry, seemingly created on the spot. Harry once had to write a poem for school once, and to say that he was pants at it was quite an understatement. The work he had produced wasn't even up to the level that it could be called shoddy. The fact that Yoshika came up with poems just as easily as he could breathe impressed Harry a lot.

While Yoshika's intelligence was more of a specific area, and not easily apparent, Seiga's was more like the kind you'd find in an encyclopedia, but to a greater degree. No matter what subject Harry brought up that he wanted to know about, from mythology to science, Seiga knew at the very least something on it. Seiga was a veritable fount of knowledge, and she made sure that Harry, regardless of his grades, knew enough to be at the top of his class. Harry genuinely enjoyed listening to Seiga lecture, as she always managed to make everything sound interesting. History was woven into tales so amazing, it was as if they were taken straight out of movies or books, myths were recited so well you could hardly tell them false, science was explained so thoroughly that Harry walked out genuinely understanding how that portion of the world worked. Seiga was clearly far, far superior to any of his teachers. The end result of this was something that could be expected: with the lack of any real parental figures, thanks to the fact that his parents were dead and his aunt and uncle weren't very kind to Harry, Seiga and Yoshika essentially became the figurse he looked up to, and he strived for their praise and acknowledgement.

"So Harry, what myth do you want to hear today?" asked Seiga.

"Tell me more about that one place in Japan," said Harry.

"Gensokyo?" asked Seiga. An odd expression came across her face, one that Harry could not decipher.

"Yes, that one," said Harry. Seiga nodded. She had mentioned her former place of residence in passing while telling other myths, and Harry found it rather interesting.

"All right. This is a recent myth, and blurs the line between mythology and the stories you hear nowadays that aren't really myths, but sound just the same. As you may remember, Gensokyo, or the "Land of Fantasy" in English, is an area located near the Yatsugatake Mountains in Japan. Historically, Gensokyo was a desolate region haunted by many different kinds of youkai. There were many different forays done by exorcists of various kinds, but ultimately they did little to quell the supernatural force there. Ultimately, in roughly 1885 AD, due to various reasons, a youkai named Yukari Yakumo and a Hakurei shrine maiden sealed off Gensokyo from the outside world, youkai and all. Remember that youkai and gods need some type of belief in them, usually fear or faith respectively, in order to exist. Without it they "die", although not literally. Due to the spiritual nature of the land at Gensokyo, it was a prime candidate for a sanctuary from the lack of faith in the modern world. As such, many gods and youkai migrated to the land. Naturally, you have the pinnacle of humanity's hopes and fears loaded into a small area, so there are some conflicts," said Seiga. Harry nodded, enraptured by the tale of this place.

"Umm… can you tell me more about that Yakumo person?" asked Harry.

"Very well. Yukari was an exceptionally powerful youkai. Her abilities as a youkai allowed her to manipulate the "boundaries" between things. While there are obvious uses physically, like teleportation or shrinking and growing things, there are even more applications, as her abilities stretched to nonphysical boundaries as well. The boundary between life and death, reality and fantasy, humans and youkai, all were within the palm of her hands, and she knew how to use it," recounted Seiga.

"If she is so powerful, why doesn't she just take over the world?" asked Harry.

Seiga laughed. "She may be strong, but she hardly is the strongest around. No, there are many people who could stand up to her might, and others that she didn't dare harm. The Hakurei shrine maidens were too crucial in the existence of her Gensokyo for her to dare to harm them, so they could stop her. The Yamaxanadu simply had Authority. Not just authority like the Prime Minister, but Authority. You simply did not stand against her, regardless of power. Her words carried far, far too much weight behind them. Yukari was no exception. Another example was the Princess of the Moon, Kaguya. She had the ability to manipulate Eternity. While that concept is rather difficult to define, there was one thing that was known for certain: eternity is something without boundaries. Without any boundaries to manipulate, Yukari couldn't use her powers on the Princess. Yet another being, known as the "Sleeping Terror" of Gensokyo, simply had too much raw power for Yukari to fight against without coming out harmed. In short, yes, she is powerful, but if she were to make any moves that were too drastic, there would be people who could stop her. Not with ease, or harm, but she could be stopped," recounted Seiga.

"What's a Yamaxanadu?" asked Harry.

"The Yamaxanadu, Harry, not a. While there are many different Yamas, each one has a title. Yamaxanadu means the Yama of Paradise, the Yama specifically in charge of Gensokyo. The Yamaxanadu, Eiki Shiki, is the person who judges where souls go after they die in Gensokyo. Her ability is rather simple: to declare, unanimously, without argument, whether something is 'black' or 'white'. There are other things she can do, mostly due to her position, but they aren't significant. She was known as someone who was rather kind hearted, and she went out of her way to try and get people to accumulate as much good karma and repent their sins before they died so she didn't have to send them to hell," said Seiga. This discussion continued for a long time, Harry asking about various residents of Gensokyo and Seiga answering, much like the majority of their lessons. Ultimately, it was time for dinner and Harry moved to cook it, while Seiga retreated to Yoshika's room for some time.

When Harry did not show up for his usual day at Number 3 Privet Drive, Seiga was annoyed. When he refused to do so for two days, she was angry. On the third day, she was positively livid. She quickly made her way next door and knocked upon the door repeatedly. When the Dursleys failed to answer, she swiftly returned to her home. She removed her hairpin, the one which allowed her to use her ability. She touched it to the floor, and the ground opened. She moved through it, the pin constantly touching in front of her, and ultimately opening into the cupboard in Number 4, Privet Drive. She opened the door, finding the house empty and the floor strewn with various letters. Picking one up, she found it addressed to Harry. She swiftly opened it and scanned the contents.

So Harry is a wizard. Nothing new. What is new, however, is this society. The Dursleys most likely did not react well to this, understandable I suppose. However, I must find Harry. Something like this is far too interesting… Seiga thought. She swiftly exited the house, closing the hole behind her. Next, she moved to her study, and cast a spell. She had previously setup a method for her to track Harry should he go missing, as she suspected that he was, at least to the person that he was a Horcrux for, important, and thus it would be likely that in the future he was moved.

"Yoshika! We are going out!" said Seiga.

"Yes Master," called back Yoshika. Seiga quickly cast magic to keep her from being visible, and then followed that up with a spell on Yoshika to do the same. Then she and Yoshika flew to the location Harry was.

When they arrived, Seiga noticed that the door had been kicked down.

"Yoshika, guard," ordered the blue-haired woman. Yoshika silently took up position outside the door, intending to keep any intruders from breaking in. Seiga swiftly entered, and found a most peculiar sight. Dudley with a pig's tail, Vernon and Petunia freaking out, a large man towering above them, and finally, Harry, simply confused.

"What exactly is going on here?"

A/N: Here seems to be a good stopping point. Hello, I'm Howdoyoudonames. This is the first multichaptered fanfiction I'm intending to write. As I have a fairly decent knowledge of Harry Potter's universe, and a somewhat average knowledge of the Touhou universe, I figured I had enough to at least try to cross them over. Additionally, I just flat out like them both. This is modeled after those generic "Mysterious mentor helps Harry out!" fanfiction, but I intend to take it in a different direction, as my character choice should show. Anyways, this is just the intro chapter. Setup and all, trying to get Harry and Seiga's relationship clear. Seiga Kaku is one of the few people that I consider in the Touhou universe to be candidates for genuinely bad people. This should be quite clear in the setting: she managed to get kicked out of Gensokyo, where causing incidents like preventing the sun from shining or trying to revive a being that would commit mass murder, while also causing winter to overstay are left with a mere slap on the wrist. In case you didn't notice, both of these incidents had potential for large loss of life, due to crop failures, generally unsafe conditions, or a giant killer tree reviving. So there is clearly the fact there that Seiga isn't exactly nice. Additionally, we're talking about someone who has earned her title of Wicked Hermit. So yeah, Seiga isn't going to be the cliché person who helps Harry out and has his best interests at heart. She clearly has her own agenda and Harry is merely a method to push it forward. Yoshika is just her cute and rotten underling.

I think most of you are familiar with Harry Potter, though you guys may not be so much with Touhou. I'd recommend looking up things you don't understand about either canon. I think I'll have any vital information covered in story or in ANs but I can't be sure. It's hard for someone like me to explain something from the ground up, I just naturally assume you have some sort of basic knowledge. Seiga is a hermit, which is essentially a religious person so religious they became immortal. The specific type of hermit Seiga is is known as a "Wicked Hermit", which is a type of hermit that deliberately fakes their death and severs ties with the people they know to become a hermit. They are frequently hunted down by youkai, which is a generic term for supernatural beings, as well as something known as 'kishin'. As such, she has to be good at magic that hides or locates to survive, and, being an immortal who became one through a method she had to research, she also knows about the different methods of immortality, and so it makes sense she knows what a horcrux is and how to realize what one is.

Thirdly, about strength. Seiga isn't going to roflstomp everyone in this fanfic. I have carefully tried to gauge how strong HP wizards are compared to Touhou characters. Firstly, I have to make it clear. There are two types of magic users in the Touhou universe, the Magicians (who are classed under youkai) and the human magicians (who are not). Wizards lean towards the latter. I have decided upon the following: Nicholas Flamel is probably the closest on scale to Seiga, being an immortal who is a few centuries old (though reliant on the Elixir of Life). I judge him to be roughly equal to Patchouli Knowledge, as they are both centuries old magicians of a sort, and any advantage Patchouli may have due to being nonhuman are offset by her illnesses. Patchouli is a Stage 4 boss, and while stages aren't the most reliable methods of determining strength, it's all I got. Seiga is also Stage 4, and thus I judge her to be roughly at Nicolas Flamel's level. This is never touched on in the books, but it can be assumed that Dumbledore, being both someone who advises Nicolas on his safety, and the one declared as the 'strongest wizard' of the time period, is near to/greater than Nicolas. Voldemort is on the same level as Dumbledore. In short, in my opinion at least, Seiga and Dumbledore and Voldemort are roughly the same level of overall capabilities, but with different specializations. I don't know if you guys agree or not, but I think I have enough logic behind my actions to go with it.

Harry, by the way, is just as, and maybe even more important to the fiction than Seiga. Although Seiga is the catalyst for many events that don't occur in canon, Harry is the easiest way to see the effect of these, so a large portion of the story will focus on him. Don't worry, there will be scenes from her point of view as well.

Anyways, I'm not confident on this fanficton's quality, and while I have a pretty solid idea on where I want to go with this fanfiction, I have a lot of room to work in subplots and such, so I'd appreciate feedback on this fanfic much more than my others. Thank you for reading, and have a nice day, or night.