A/N: This could accurately be retitled/summarized as "OP is in denial about the end of the game and just really needs these assholes to hug."

More important notes. This is pretty spoiler heavy, so absolutely do not read unless you've beaten the game. Also, I completely understand the implications of Leslie walking away at the end of the game, and I /know/ there's next to no chance that Joseph was hooked to STEM in the same place as Sebastian. But I'm pretending he was (and completely ignoring the whole Leslie thing). Call it artistic license, I guess?

Finally, I'm putting this in as Sebastian/Joseph, but it's only veeeeeery loosely that. Less romance, more friendship.

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How many dead? The doctor, Connelly and all his other colleagues, Leslie, Joseph…

Right. Joseph. Now that he's no longer in danger, Sebastian's mind doesn't have anything else to occupy itself with, so the events of the past few days, weeks, months, however long he was hooked to that machine, come crashing down on him like an anvil in an old cartoon.

His legs feel too weak to support him so he slumps against the wall, fingers of one hand pressed against the rough stone to keep him in reality while he holds his head in the other. Damn it, Joseph. It isn't as if he could cry even if he felt like it; his tears all burned up in the fire his daughter died in. Besides, he learned back then that mourning can't bring someone back to life. Still, it feels as if someone dug out his heart with their bare hands and replaced it with cold metal that's slowly poisoning him.

The worst part is the realization that it's at least partly his fault. True, he wasn't the one to pull the trigger, but he put Joseph in danger so many times it was practically inevitable the overeager man would get killed, and he was part of the plan to get Leslie away from Juli. They failed too; Leslie was taken by Ruvik, so they might as well have let Juli shoot him and kept a whole number of other events from unfolding.

He takes his head from his hand and looks up at the sky, evening out his breathing. You can't let it get to you. Deaths happen; it's one of the first things he was taught when he joined the force. Guilt is an insidious little bastard. If you can't shove it down, it will end up killing you too. But… it's easier to ignore guilt and say that accidents happen when everything you did wasn't completely in vain.

Joseph was shot for nothing. He was killed for nothing.

A light tap on his shoulder pulls Sebastian out of his head and makes him flinch, and he automatically brings his fist around to punch his assailant before realizing at the last second that it's only a woman. He uncurls his fingers with some difficulty as she takes a few steps back, visibly startled by his violent reaction. "What do you want?" he asks. It comes out more impatient than intended, but the woman, who he now sees wears a paramedic uniform, doesn't seem phased.

"Sir, please come with me," she says, more of an order than a request. "I've been instructed to perform preliminary physical and mental checks on anyone who has been evacuated from the building. Once all the survivors are cleared out, we'll take you to the hospital for more extensive work." At his wariness, she continues. "We only need to make sure you aren't going to bleed out on us or go on a shooting spree, sir."

The paramedic obviously means well, and she's only doing her job. Sebastian still wants to tell her to piss off, that he's fine and doesn't need coddling, but he stays quiet. After the hell he just escaped from, coddling doesn't sound so bad. When her eyes drift to his hand, resting on the holster of his gun out of habit, he sighs and lifts it away.

"That's fine," he agrees. He lets her take his arm and guide him down the rest of the stairs to where a number of emergency vehicles and other cars are parked. When they reach the bottom, he pulls away abruptly, eyes narrowed, because what he sees can't be real.

From here, that looks like Joseph sitting in the back of a nearby ambulance, a shock blanket over his shoulders and a cup of something hot in his hands. As Sebastian watches, he blows on the drink, steam fogging up his glasses so that his eyes are hidden, but his clothes, his build, his hair, everything looks like his partner.

Sebastian wonders for a few seconds if he didn't really escape Ruvik's control and is still having games played with his head. It would be just like the bastard to trick him like this and make him think his partner is still alive when he saw him get shot. Then again, after everything that's happened, he's come to learn that seeing isn't necessarily believing, so he can't keep himself from yelling, "Joseph!"

At the sudden shout, the man fumbles with his drink and nearly drops it, and that is Joseph. "Sebas…?"

The paramedic tries to grab Sebastian's arm again and stop him, saying something about needing to do those checks on him, but he shakes her off and silences her with a look. "There have to be other people that need dealing with. Give me five minutes. Then you can poke and prod at me all you like," he growls, and he takes off toward the ambulance before she has a chance to stop him.

"Sebastian," Joseph greets quietly, relief flooding his voice and face alike, when his partner stops in front of him.

"Joseph, you— you're alive." It's half-question, half-statement, and Sebastian realizes he's barely breathing when his searching eyes meet Joseph's. A sheepish nod is all the younger man gives in response, dropping his gaze to his cup of coffee. Sebastian sits down hard beside him and drags a hand over his face. "God, I thought you were dead."

"I'm sorry. I was so disoriented when I woke up that I wandered out of the building before realizing what had happened. I didn't even see that you were still there," Joseph admits with a look of slight guilt. "And then the SWAT team showed up, and they wouldn't let me back in the building again. I didn't have any choice but to wait for you." He smiles then, only barely and with tired eyes, but it's a smile nonetheless. "I knew you'd make it out. But… It's still good to see you."

Sebastian doesn't give a fuck about Joseph's explanation. He probably couldn't have gotten Sebastian out in the first place, and who knows what would have happened if he'd tried. All that matters is that Joseph is alive.

And then, without a second thought, Sebastian hugs the other man. Joseph does drop his cup then.

He feels Joseph stiffen at the seemingly out of character action before slowly, hesitantly returning it. Sebastian doesn't really care that his partner seems mildly alarmed by the sudden show of affection. The sight of Kidman shooting Joseph keeps swimming around in his head, and he can't seem to dispel it even with the revelation that yes, Joseph is still alive, you didn't lose him too, he's alive and you can touch him. He's solid in Sebastian's arms, and he can feel the shift of muscles in his small frame when he moves. There's steady breath against his skin as Joseph relaxes, and even more importantly, there's a rhythmic heartbeat where he was shot. No blood is seeping through his clothes—not now. His skin doesn't have that pallor of imminent death anymore, just the heat of life.

"…Seb?" Joseph's voice seems too loud in the stillness of the moment, even with all of the shouts and background noises around them. "You're choking me."

Sebastian releases him, giving him a final pat on the shoulder. "Sorry," he says, pulling his leg up to rest his arm on his knee. "I'm glad you're alive."

That sentence carries with it so much more meaning than it seems to, and Joseph's face is red from more than just the chilly night air as he adjusts his glasses and glances at the fallen cup. Sebastian sits in silence next to him, their shoulders barely touching, until Joseph chances lifting his gaze to his partner's face. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," Sebastian replies, looking around him at the flashing lights and the bustle of people and this world so unlike Ruvik's hell, and he's surprised at how easily the words come. "I'm okay."