Boondocks and Babies

Disclaimer: I do not own The Boondock Saints

Rocco was sat at the bar in McGinty's talking to Doc when the door suddenly swung open to reveal two disheveled Irish twins. Rocco opened his mouth to greet them, but instead gaped at the boys as he realized each of them was holding a squirming bundle in their arms.

"What the fuck are they?" he asked loudly.

"Wha d'they look like genius?" Murphy said. He and Connor walked over and Rocco and Doc could now see the two babies more clearly. They were awake and moving, but were hardly making a peep.

"Y-Y-You boys didn't s-st-st-steal those, did ya?" Doc asked.

"No we di'n't steal 'em!" Connor exclaimed.

"Someone jus' dropped 'em off!" Murphy chimed in.

"Why the fuck did someone give you assholes two babies?" Rocco asked.

"Cause they're Connor's," Murphy said, "Lease, that's what the woman who gave 'em to us said."

"Should've known one of ye would get someone knocked up," Rocco said, "Though, I'm not gonna lie, I always thought it'd be you." He was looking at Murphy as he said and the Irish man scowled at him.

"B-B-Bring 'em here boys," Doc said, "FUCK! ASS!" He walked around the bar and took the infant out of Connor's arms while Murphy kind of forced Rocco into taking the other.

"What ar-are their n-n-na-names?" Doc asked and Connor and Murphy glanced at each other.

"Christ, you don't even know?" Rocco exclaimed.

"We were a lil' preoccupied, tank you!" Connor said.

"Maybe there's sumthin' in 'ere that'll help us," Murphy said, pulling a small bag off his shoulder. "She lef' this with us too."

Connor took it off his brother and opened it, pulling out the few items inside: a couple pairs of baby pajamas, two bottles, a few diapers, and a letter.

"Here we go," Connor said, "Think I've seen something like this in a film or two."

"Jus' shut up and open it," Murphy said, shaking his head. Connor did so and his eyes skimmed the page.

"Their names are Keona and Arya," Connor said.

"Which is which?" Murphy asked.

"Think you're about to find out," Rocco said, pulling a face, "This fuckin' stinks!" He held the baby out to Connor just as the infant started to wail.

Connor took the baby and stared at it, unsure of what to do.

"Don' jus' stand there!" Murphy said, "Do sumthin'!"

"Do what?" Connor asked, wide eyed, "Do any o' ye pricks know how to change a baby?"

"L-L-Lay it over here," Doc said, walking over to one of the tables while still holding the other baby, "One of yet, l-lay down yer coat."

"What? Why?" Murphy asked.

"Can't lay 'em on a h-hard table," Doc explained and Murphy sighed, but shrugged off his jacket nonetheless. He laid it on the table and Connor placed the baby on top it. The child was still wailing, staring up at Connor with wet eyes.

The process of changing the infant - who they discovered was Keona - was a long one. However, eventually, after much struggling on everyone's part, the diaper was finally on and Keona had been laid in Connor's arms.

"So, wh-what are you boys gonna do?" Doc asked.

"No idea," Connor admitted, "We can' get rid 'o 'em. Bloods blood, even if we don' know fer sure yet." Murphy nodded in agreement.

"What d'you two morons know about lookin' after babies?" Rocco asked.

"Not a lot, but we can figure it out," Connor said.

"We're gonna need ta get stuff fer 'em," Murphy piped up, "Clothes and food and toys and stuff."

"Yeah," Connor said absently and then looked at his brother, "Why don' you and Roc do tha'?"

"Why am I gettin' dragged into this?' Rocco asked.

"Cause it'll be easier if two stay here and two go," Connor said, "I'm stayin' with 'em and Doc seems to be the only one who knows what he's doin' so that leaves you and Murph." Rocco looked like he was about to protest, but Connor gave him a pleading look.

"Fine," he relented, handing Arya to Doc. He and Murphy slipped their coats on and walked out the door to try and find the nearest baby shop in Boston.

So this is my first Boondock Saints fanfic. I hope it was alright, I tried really hard to get the accents right, but I've never written an Irish accent before so that was both a struggle and a very interesting thing to do. I've also never written a stutter and was really worried I would mess it up so I apologize if Doc's dialogue is really bad!

I've also never written so much cursing in one fanfic before.

There will be a second part to this story and it's a bit of an introduction for a possible longer story I may do if this one is alright.

Thanks so much for reading and let me know what you think!