A Perfect Middle

Oddly enough she didn't feel sad. She was however, devastated, slightly in denial and was operating on auto-pilot, but she didn't feel sad. Sitting there, in a chair perched on the sand on the perfect So Cal day flanked by loved ones, it felt so very right. Looking at those gathered around her the last few decades of her life flashed through her mind. Years of laughter, happiness and of feeling extraordinarily lucky preceded years of anger, trauma and regret. But now, looking back, she wouldn't change the period of radio silence and time on the East coast. In the end, it's what lead to the best thing that has ever and will ever happen to her.

As she feels the reassuring squeeze on her right shoulder, her thoughts are dragged forward slightly, to the moment she became a mother. The picture marking that moment sits on a table also perched on the sand to their left. It was not how she imagined becoming a parent, not that she had thought she would ever become someone's mother. The picture features her and Logan, standing in a courtroom with a seven year old Hunter in Logan's arms, all of them beaming. Here they were, a year after the Aurora/Tanner debacle, impulsively married for just over two months and the new parents of a talking and walking child. Ultimately, Lianne couldn't deal with Tanner's betrayal and as hard as she tried the old demons came back to haunt her fairly quickly. It was up to Logan and Veronica to ensure that the boy experienced none of what their collective childhoods had held, and ensure that they did. It shouldn't have worked, the headstrong, fiercely independent private detective with a rock hard exterior and the impulsive, damaged sailor married and raising the cautious and fearful child. But it did work, they soon settled into family life with relative ease. Her, managing her father's business with a passion she hadn't felt in years, he being pulled away on missions but always returning to what he never had growing up.

When Hunter was nine, a new picture was added to the album. This time Veronica and Logan standing on the beach with Hunter and a tiny, three day old bundle curled up against Veronicas chest, nestled in a carrier. Her name was Evelyn Mackenzie, she was petite like her mother with her father's eyes and blonde, fluffy hair. The unit of three expanded to four with ease. When not chasing down the seedy criminals of Neptune or flying fighter jets around the skies the young family spent their days at the beach. Of course, he had insisted on a 09-er house backing onto the ocean that she had strenuously objected to, but like most things in their life it worked out perfectly. They would spend hours outside, Logan teaching 'his boy' and later Lynnie how to surf while Veronica threw balls for their dog, Sheriff, who seemed to possess boundless energy. Their house shifted once again about eighteen months after the birth of Lynnie when Logan received a phone call form an old friend who was a social worker in Balboa County.

Fourteen months after that they had a new addition to the family, as well as a picture strikingly similar to the one of Hunter and themselves at the courthouse. This time in the picture, a slightly older, more worn version of Logan and Veronica stood in a courtroom. He with Lynnie in his arms and her with a dark haired, mischievous looking toddler on her hip with Hunter standing in the centre, all five of them dressed up for the occasion. Adding Martha Alice to the family permanently was easy, she and Lynnie were born on the same day, meaning that they were now effectively raising twins. Logan had made friends with the social worker through his work in youth outreach, every week he volunteered to help children in abusive and negligent homes, trying to ensure that these children felt loved and valued. He and Veronica had earned their fostering licence in order to become Hunters guardians and had kept it up to date in the years after his adoption. Because of this they were able to take Martha into their home after she was removed from her birth family after a neighbour noted that the toddler was not being cared for properly. She and Lynnie soon became an unstoppable duo of trouble and giggles, both adoring Hunter.

After the addition of Martha Logan's time in the Navy came to an end. He set up a tech company with Mac, which soon became recognised as one of the most ethical, philanthropic and diverse companies in the country. A year after this their 'whoops' came along in the form of William Keith, a serious big eyed baby, their family was now complete. Another picture was added to the album, the whole family piled on a hospital bed, all eyes on the swaddled bundle in her arms. She continued to pursue the corrupt of Neptune, even with the gaggle of children at home. Childcare came in the form of Grandpa Keith and Gigi Alicia and also surprisingly in the form of Dick Casablancas. Uncle Dick and Auntie Mac lived four houses down with their two, Maya and Sam. Dick ran his t-shirt company from home and regularly watched the mini sports team of six children that the two couples had amassed with surprising ease and skill. Uncle Charlie also stepped in from time to time, him and Logan long ago building bridges and forming a tentative bond. Wallace also made regular trips up from San Diego where he coached basketball.

This made it all so sound so easy and constantly perfect. Along the way there had been hard conversations and fights both with each other and the children, having to explain to Hunter and Martha why they weren't being raised by their birth parents and to all four children why they only had one true grandparent in their lives and why Logan had been arrested for the murder of Carrie years beforehand. The paparazzi would occasionally rear their heads, but the family wasn't that interesting these days, they spent their time walking the beach and doing homework. They both still had trouble with the events of their teenage years, both occasionally reverting to their default settings of anger, denial and mistrust. There had been nights when she sat in front of the windows looking out onto the beach, rocking Lynnie and wondering if her sailor would ever make it home to her. There were nights when Logan was comforting Martha after a nightmare and he wondered if this time the stake out had gone wrong and if his 'sugarpuss' would return to them. They made it though, the children and businesses grew around them as time quickly passed. The children spread their wings, Hunter attending art school and ending up as an award winning photographer, playing in a band on the side and regularly surfing with his family. The girls attended Hearst, Lynnie quickly realising her passion for understanding others and gaining a degree in psychology, she was now working on her Master's degree in child psychology. Martha had spent a lot of time around Aunt Mac and had excelled at working with computers as a child. She gained a degree in computer sciences and began to work her way up from the bottom at her Fathers and Aunts Company. She also helped her Mom at Mars Investigations, taking joy in doing the 'not so legal' investigating required on a regular basis. Will had also started at Hearst, he was hoping to become an English teacher, he had his Fathers love of literature and his Moms deeply inquisitive nature. He spent his time off from college working at Mars Investigations, working with his Mom, sister, Aunt Mac and (mostly retired) Grandpa. The children knew of their parents past, not all the details of the debauchery and risk taking, but enough to realise how loved and lucky they were.

Another hand on her arm dragged her back to the present. She glanced around her, Alicia and Keith sitting hand in hand with Wallace sitting beside them. Mac and Dick in the chairs to her left, his arm around her shoulders, both looking drawn, with Maya leaning on her mother and Sam sitting resolutely with Dicks arm around his shoulder. Weevil sat with his children and wife, lost in memories involving the jackass turned empathetic family man. Cliff sat beside Keith, remembering the two damaged kids that flourished into a family against the odds. The latter rows were packed with colleagues and employees, Navy buddies, the children that Logan had mentored. Of course the 09-ers had come, some just couldn't resist the chance to parade around. Madison (now on her fourth husband) sat beside Lauren, the younger woman having formed a sisterly relationship with Mac. Beside them sat Madisons usual blonde lackeys as well as Casey and Troy. Assorted others milled towards the back. Even Duncan had sent a letter from his current home in New Zealand, unable to return home for the event. Her eyes slid to the row she was occupying, Charlie sat at the far end with his family, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the horizon with a faraway look on his face, at the sun that was beginning to sink. Hunter sat beside his fiancée, both of them tanned but tired looking, hands intertwined. Lynnie sat directly on her right, petite with dirty blonde hair just reaching her shoulders, piercing blue eyes filled with emotion as she held the lead of their rescue dog Amigo. Martha sat to her left, brown hair curling past her shoulders, wearing the locket she had been bought upon her adoption and twisting the bracelet she had been gifted by her family upon graduation, her sister wearing a similar one. Both girls squeezing her shoulder or hand or placing their head on her shoulder every so often. Will sat beside Martha, looking so grown up yet so young. He was tall and lanky like his father and moved with the ease of someone who had been bought up in the water, his hands fluidly folding and unfolding the edge of the flag that occupied his arms. They were a mismatched family, tall mixed with small, with blonde hair and blue eyes mixed with brown hair and hazel eyes. But they fit together, they worked extraordinarily well. They were now missing a core member of that family, the absence being felt oh so strongly.

Eventually she was pulled out of her reverie, it was time to go to the front to say her piece. In the end they had had twenty four years of marriage and fifteen months of knowing that the inevitable was coming. That left them with enough time to go back to Australia and Hawaii, his favourite surfing destinations for weeks spent as a unit of six, filled with laughter and soaking each other in. Upon their return he sat down and planned everything to a't'. All finances and legalities were sorted, ensuring that his wife and children would be taken care of. He planned this event, wanting the beach and only the beach, the place that provided his therapy and was filled with memories of his family. He wrote letters and birthday cards to be distributed in the future, on the events that he wouldn't be making it to. They said everything they could think of to each other, and in the end, neither had any regrets. They had agreed on the idea of her continuing to manage both businesses and also to the idea of her eventually fostering, both children and animals when the time was right. He knew that she would be okay, she was after all Veronica Mars. There was very little left for her to say to those gathered on the beach, everyone present knew what a great person he had turned out to be, they knew of his commitment to his family and of his devotion to his wife. They knew of the couples unconventional past and of how they had come to find each other again. Now, there was only one thing left to say, she stood up and made her way to the front and began to say her piece.

"If you had told me of what the last twenty five years have held when I was twenty and running away from everything in this town I probably would have laughed in your face and then tasered you. At that time, being married, having kids, living happily in Neptune was inconceivable to me. Logan made that all real for me, he made every dream that I didn't even know that I had real, and he showed me that I could be good mother and he an amazing father despite the past. I still think that the idea of 'happily ever after' is bullshit, but Logan showed me that a 'perfect middle' is very, very real. Perfect didn't mean that we didn't fight or doubt ourselves or get angry or act selfishly. A perfect middle just meant we came through it and I can look back over the last twenty five years with gratitude, because without the pain-in-the-ass boy I met when I was twelve and without our turbulent history my life would have been completely empty. So I just want to say this: Lo, you were so very right, as much as I hate to admit it. We were epic, we literally spanned continents, there was an unfortunate amount of blood shed and lives were indeed ruined. People don't write songs about the ones that come easy, but you helped to save me and I helped to save you. We were epic and I will always love you"