"Wasted"

Chapter One

It was very unlike Spencer to not show up to work.

Hotch frowned, his nearly permanent scowl deepening as he scanned across the room from the balcony outside of his office, keeping an eye out for the dirty blonde hair and giddy gait of the young genius. He had called every member of the team together for a briefing nearly 45 minutes prior, and Spencer had sent his call straight to voicemail each and every time. It was early – just before dawn – and Hotch couldn't possibly imagine what was keeping Spencer preoccupied at such a time.

Hotch sighed deeply, and began to walk over to the conference room. He tried to keep the thought of Spencer out of his mind, but he simply couldn't; it was simply going to drive him nuts thinking about what the younger man could possibly be doing. Of course, because of his line of work as an FBI agent, he naturally couldn't help but consider that Spencer could be in trouble, but he tried his best to push that idea out of his head to concentrate on the task at hand.

As he made his way into the conference room, all of the other members of the team were waiting for him, and clearly had the same question as Hotch did regarding the whereabouts of Spencer Reid.

"You didn't find him?" Morgan questioned, his brow furrowing as he leaned back in his seat.

Hotch shook his head as he strode around to the head of the table, taking a position of authority. "No, I didn't. At this point, we'll have to proceed without him. The case we have needs to be addressed immediately, and we can't waste any time." He nodded to JJ, who stood up and took over presenting the case.

"We have a child abduction. Seven year old Lacey Gates, taken from her home in the middle of the night about two hours ago by a male in a black four-door Ford Focus. The park is located in Greenland, which, as we all know, is only about a ten minute drive from us here. So, no plane today guys. This abduction happened in our own backyard."

As JJ continued to present the case, Hotch's mind wandered to the idea of Spencer yet again. Of course, this wasn't uncommon; he mind was almost constantly preoccupied on the young man. Personally, he'd always been close to him as a friend and colleague, despite their differences in age and personality, and had always held a fondness for him. But after years of growing closer and closer with him, well, an extremely unforeseen romantic attraction had blossomed, although Hotch was not completely sure what it could be.

Neither he nor Spencer had ever truly explored the possibility of being with another man; sure, he had experimented during some drunken college nights, but he'd never taken it seriously. That is, until about six months prior, when after a particularly difficult and draining case had left them both exhausted and burned out, and, in a moment of pure desperation, he had found himself turning to comfort in none other than Spencer Reid.

Even now, though, Hotch was still completely unsure as to what exactly he and Spencer were doing. It was complicated, to say the very least, and obviously, no one on the team could possibly find out – and, of course, as they were all profilers who were experts on detecting secrets, it was extremely difficult to keep it unknown. However, for six months, they'd managed to do so, keeping their nights of passion and romance and relief from chasing monsters a secret from every one of their colleagues. Maybe someday, when he and Spencer figured out exactly what it was that they were involved in, they'd tell the team, but that day most certainly was not today.

As JJ finished speaking, Hotch snapped back to reality and composed his thoughts. "Alright guys. I want you all to head over to Greenland P.D., as we already have communications with the police there and they will be waiting. We'll regroup there." As everyone shuffled to leave, Rossi leaned over the Hotch, questionably. "And where are you headed, Aaron?"

"I'll catch up with you there." Hotch responded hastily, and left the room before Rossi could interrogate him any further.

Once Hotch stood back in his office, he took out his phone and called Garcia, who answered with far too much cheer and wit for it being so early in the morning. "Garcia, I need you to run a trace on a phone number for me, just so that I know where it is at this moment. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course I can sir, your wish is my command." Garcia quipped, beginning to type on her keyboard. "Okay, shoot!"

Hotch read the number off to her – knowing it from memory – and Garcia paused for a long moment before responding. "Um, sir, that's Reid's phone. Is everything alright?" Worry had already settled within her tone of voice.

"I'm sure everything is fine. I just don't know where he is, is all. He won't pick up." Hotch concealed his own worry and curiosity, and tried to sound as indifferent as he possibly could.

Garcia paused yet again, before responding with even more anxiety than she had before. "Um, I'm not so sure about that, sir. Reid's phone is currently being traced to the local police station in downtown Stattford… what's going on?"

Hotch frowned deeply, officially beginning to worry for Spencer. Why the hell would he be at a police station at this hour? And why would be keep ignoring all calls? "I'm not sure, but I'm going to find out. Thanks, Garcia." Hotch hung up quickly, grabbed his car keys and his suit jacket, and rushed out of his office, on a mission.

…

Hotch stepped into the small Stattford police station, where, at 4:30 a.m., appeared to be a ghost town. A lone guard sat behind a front desk, looking bored and worn out. He didn't even raise his eyes as Hotch approached, as he seemingly couldn't be bothered.

"Excuse me officer, but my name is Aaron Hotchner, I'm with the FBI." Hotch flashed his badge, to which the officer seemed still unimpressed. "Another one of my agents is here in this station somewhere, and I need to see him now."

The officer sighed, clearly agitated at having been disturbed. "I don't know what the FBI has to do with anything, but your friend is down that hallway, third interrogation window to the right. He's talkin' to some trash girl we found high as a kite on Main Street this evening causing a commotion. I don't know why that interests you people so much, but be my guest."

"Thank you," Hotch said quickly, hurrying off down the hallway. He was slightly relieved – at least Spencer wasn't the one who'd been arrested, but there were still quite a few unanswered questions.

Hotch reached the window, and looked at his lover through the one-way glass. Spencer sat opposite of a young woman who appeared to be about his age, and he looked extremely exhausted. He looked as though he hadn't slept in days, and Hotch couldn't help but be overcome with sympathy and a desire to hold Spencer in his own arms while he rested. Quite on the contrary, the lady sitting on the opposite side of the table appeared to have also been up the entire night, but for vastly different reasons. She was clad in a black nightclub-style dress that hugged her thin body in all the right ways, and her high heeled stilettos added to her look. She had dirty blonde hair that hung in perfect waves down her back, and her face, although it was extremely pretty to look at, was covered in makeup that attempted to hide her expression of a lack of innocence to no avail. She was clearly under the abuse of at least one drug, let alone the fact that she was wasted beyond belief. She was trouble, and Hotch could instantly sense it. Spencer had no business with a girl like her, for sure.

Spencer, unaware of Hotch's presence, sighed, and began to speak to the lady. "It's been a few hours. You've got to be sobering up soon."

The girl snorted and rolled her eyes, mockingly. "Sweetheart, you should know by now that I'm never fully sober."

Spencer frowned, unamused. "Trust me, I'm aware," He mumbled back under his breath. "This has got to stop."

The girl fake pouted back at him. "But what's the fun in that?"

Spencer was still unfazed. "Alice, cut it out."

"Alice." The girl repeated. She scrunched up her nose in disgust. "What a horrible name. Alice. Like the dumbass who thought she chased a rabbit down a hole while she was really just tripping on acid. At least, that's the version of the story I choose to believe in. It's much more interesting that way." She leaned back in her chair as best as she could with her restraints. "It doesn't fit me. It's too old fashioned. It makes me sound like a prude, and, well," She shot Spencer a devilish look to which he crossed his arms, averted his eye contact, and blushed. "you and I both know how untrue that statement is." She sat back, a smug look on her face. "I think I'll start going by Ally instead."

"Alice," Spencer said intentionally, to which the girl frowned in disdain, but Spencer went on before she could protest. "I'm sick of this. You need to get your life together, now."

The girl – Alice – rolled her eyes. "I have an excellent life, Spencer. I'm sorry that it doesn't live up to your standards, Mr. BAU Genius, but I am just fine. I don't ask for your opinion, so I don't understand why you feel the need to shove it down my fucking throat every time I see you."

Spencer exhaled sharply, clearly getting irritated. "You don't ask for my opinion, but you sure as hell ask for bail money every time you wind up in situations like this!" Hotch couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at the sound of Spencer cursing. It certainly wasn't like him to get so heated so quickly, unless he truly was personally connected to this girl – but Hotch surely had never seen her or heard of her before in his life.

Alice huffed and turned away her head to avoid eye contact, clearly not interested in Spencer's perspective. Spencer sighed and shook his head slowly. When he spoke again, his words were softer, and he seemed genuinely compassionate. "You could amount to so much."

Alice glared daggers at him. "Oh, so unless I'm as successful as you, I'm insignificant?"

"Alice, stop it. That's not what I said!"

Alice looked away yet again, shaking her head in anger. "Little perfect Spencer Reid, always thinking his intellect places him higher than the rest of us." She scoffed. "I'll never amount to anything by your standards."

Spencer seemed genuinely affected by her words, and his tired face fell even more. "I don't think I'm higher than you, by any means. I'm just saying that you could become so much."

Alice looked back at Spencer, her eyes glazed over – although Hotch was unsure if it was from the amount of alcohol she had clearly consumed or from true emotion. "I'm just not you, Spencer, okay? I missed my shot, man. You've tried so many times with me, but this is just who I am. I can't change it."

"You've given up on yourself, but I haven't." Spencer breathed deeply. "This isn't you. This is who you've let yourself become. You're sad and you're lost but you are so much more than the problems you cause when you're drunk. You drink to try and fill in the void you have inside of you, to conceal your feelings of insecurity and unworthiness. You've never been happy with yourself, and you try to drink to forget about how miserable you feel when you're sober – but even that's not enough, and you still just feel so empty."

"Don't you dare profile me." Alice snapped. "It's complete bullshit, anyway. I could have told you all of that about myself and saved you the breath."

"Then you know it's true then, all of it. Yet you ignore it anyway."

Alice pursed her lips. "Okay. Fine. I agree completely. Can you post my bail now so that we can both get out of here?"

Spencer frowned. "There you go, just saying what you think I want to hear so that I'll do what you want."

"Fair enough, you can add manipulative to the list of my best qualities." Alice rolled her eyes yet again.

Spencer narrowed his eyes at her, disappointed and tired. "What if…what if I don't post bail this time?"

Alice laughed at him, and Hotch nearly cringed at how empty and hollow it sounded, as though she had forgotten what it was truly like to be sincere. "You and I both know you wouldn't leave me here."

Spencer hesitated, and Alice went on. "You'll pay, every single time. We're stuck a cycle." She rested her head in her hands with a deep sigh. "I'm stuck in this cycle."

Spencer looked over at her in her pathetic, drunken state, and Hotch couldn't help but feel as though he wanted to run in and give the young man a hug. He just looked so tired and so vulnerable.

Slowly, he got up from the table, and Alice looked up at him, as though she was surprised that he was leaving. Spencer ran a hand through his hair, and then looked over to the door of the room. "Yeah, you're right. I'll post bail. You'll be out of here by dawn." He walked to the door, and paused with his hand on the doorknob. "I'd like to think that this'll be the last time, but statistically speaking alone, I'm sure you'll be in for being drunk and disorderly again before Christmas." Without another word, he slipped out of the room – and ended up face-to-face with Aaron Hotchner.

Spencer's jaw dropped to the floor, and he began to stammer out anything that could possibly be considered a complete sentence, before he finally managed to spit out, "W-what are you doing here?"

Hotch rested his hand on Spencer's arm gently, calming him slightly from his surprise. "I was worried about you, Spencer. I'm sorry if I startled you, but I just needed to make sure you were okay. I was expecting to see you on the other side of the table in there."

Spencer exhaled deeply and looked back into the room where Alice was already slumped over the table in a drunken sleep. "I…I just had something I had to take care of."

Hotch reached up to Spencer's chin, and gently moved it so that he was looking him directly in his eyes, which were so incredibly worn out. Hotch sighed sympathetically, wishing he knew how to help. "Do you want to tell me who she is?" After a pause, he went on. "Maybe I could help if I knew."

Spencer shook his head. "She's so far beyond help, Aaron. I just keep trying to help her and she just won't let me in. She doesn't let anyone in. The only thing she trusts anymore are drugs and alcohol." He sighed. "It's so unbelievably sad, you know? To watch someone waste away?

Aaron furrowed his brow, his eyes sweeping over the face of the young doctor. Lord, when had he gotten so tired? Why hadn't he noticed this sooner? If only he could erase a lifetime of horrors and exhaustion with soft caresses and gentle kisses.

"Yeah, it's sad, but you have to learn that some people is this world just can't be helped, and you need to learn to just walk away. Who is she, though? Someone you made a personal connection to on a case? An old friend?"

Spencer scoffed softly, and averted his eye contact to the ground, shaking his head softly. "Oh, Aaron," he muttered quietly. "It's not quite that simple." He sighed, and once again looked up into the eyes of his superior and lover. "She's my sister."

To Be Continued

A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review; it motivates me to post quicker! :)