Felicity's determination

I think we need Felicity's POV of that last goodbye on the foundry, and so here it is. Angst, but hopeful by the ending.

She knew what he was going to say. It was clear in his eyes, in the way his mouth quirked a bit on the corners. His expression peaceful even when he was going to fight one of the most dangerous men out there.

I love you

He said, like it was as simple as breathing. There was no maybes, no buts, no ifs, nothing but those three words that resonated inside her mind and into her heart.

She felt her hand move, her fingers clench and unclench, like they had their own life, a life that was telling them to go and grab his bag, to pull him back against her, to grab him and never let him go.

The words were on her mouth, those three little ones, ready to be spilled. But they didn't. They were kept prisoner of her mouth, her lips sealed, keeping her from giving the last piece of her heart, already in so many shards.

And now, he was already turning around, his back tense under the strain of what he was going to do. His dark sweater a contrast against the lights of the foundry.

She wanted to yell his name, to run towards him, to make him understand the craziness of this all. But she didn't, she didn't do any of those things and her heart kept breaking and breaking.

Was this the last time she would see him? Was this the last chance she had to tell him how she really felt?

She felt her heart start to beat crazily, her lungs not expanding enough, and she realized she was having the beginning of a panic attack. Felicity tried to control her breathing, each breath calculated to measure Oliver's steps. She was calmer after that.

He climbed the stairs without turning around, while her eyes filled with tears. When the door closed after him, her knees finally buckled and she fell to the floor.

She had to believe he would survive. She had to believe he would come back to her. She had to believe she could remedy her mistake. The unsaid words. The ones she wanted to yell and scream.

The foundry was empty, the only other breathing being a small fern, its green leaves falling against the table.

And then, it was like waking from a dream.

Felicity jumped to her feet and started running. She had to make it. She had to get to him before he sped off in his bike. She had to catch him and make him promise he would survive. She had to see his face when she told him her feelings. She had to! She had to! She kept screaming in her mind like a child with a tantrum.

Felicity felt her ankle move in a painful way when she climbed the stairs in her heels, but in that moment nothing mattered more than Oliver.

She ran and ran, leaving Verdant's bar filled with bottles behind. It was empty and her steps echoed in the gigantic place.

When Felicity opened the back door, she ran outside, her eyes jumping around in search of his Ducati, of a shadow of him, the brown of his bag.

The parking lot was empty.

And Felicity felt the last piece of her heart disappear in its emptiness.

She hadn't told him.

She let him go without uttering those words.

She kept her walls up.

She couldn't surrender enough to tell him she had never felt anything like this before.

Why?

Was it because every person she told "I love you" disappeared on her? First her father, then Cooper? Was it because she was damaged and couldn't love someone back? Why didn't she say those words out loud? Why did she keep saying them only on her mind? Not even alone she would utter them. Not in front of the mirror, or whispered when Oliver was not looking.

Her fists started beating against the concrete floor. All semblance of control disappearing with the last shred of his being. Would he come back to her? Would he? Would he?

He would not die. Not after promising her not to. He kept his promises to her. He always did…

Her tears were falling copiously on the floor, the blood of her knuckles mixing with the salty water and making her fingers burn.

She heard a door open behind her, but she didn't have the energy to look up and it closed again, muffling someone's running steps. A few moments later the door opened again and this time, different steps approached. She felt someone kneel beside her and envelope her frame in bulky arms.

"Felicity…" Diggle whispered, while she stood rigid against his side.

"I didn't tell him, John…" she whispered.

"What?"

"I… I love him…" she breathed, like she had spent a long time under water and was now having the first gulp of oxygen, barely a wisp of sound leaving her lips and then she looked up, into her older brother's eyes. "I love him!" she said, this time louder. "I love Oliver!" her voice got stronger with each repetition. "I love him like I never loved anyone!"

And then…

"But I didn't tell him…"

"Felicity, he will come back to you and then you can tell him yourself." Diggle said with a fond smile.

Felicity smiled back. She had said those words out loud and her heart felt warmer after that. She loved him so much and now it was like she couldn't wait for him to be back, so she could tell him. There was no doubt in her mind. He would be back! She was stupid back there, fearing, crouching in her own mind. Their love deserved to be fought for and she was not going to let Oliver do the fight by himself.

When he returns, Felicity promised to herself, it would be a tag-team fight!

I wanted to end in a hopeful note instead of making someone tell Felicity Oliver died...