When My Heart Finds Christmas

By RosexKnight

AU! Storybrooke is throwing a Christmas Party. The Location? Gold's house. Belle is in charge of decorating, because no one else wants to deal with the cranky Mr. Gold. But Belle doesn't mind, and Gold is okay with that. However, will the party go as well as everyone hopes?

"Papa?"

"I'm here."

Mr. Gold sat at his wheel, an antique he'd taken from the attic to place by the fireplace years ago. Spinning was how he'd made the fortune he was now sitting on. Spinning helped him forget, at least for a little while. But his daughter's voice snapped him out of the trance he'd been under.

"I can't zip myself up..."

Gold turned from his view of the fire to his daughter, who had stepped into the living room struggling to reach the zipper of the dress she was wearing. A dress of deep burgundy with golden thread and poinsettia designs embroidered down the slanted hemline, trimmed in gold silk with sleeves sitting just off the shoulders. He'd bought that dress for her only hours ago, but now he wasn't so sure he wanted his teenage daughter in something so...elegant. Not with boys watching.

But oh how she looked like her mother...The spinner found himself doing a double-take to make sure it wasn't his ex-wife standing before him.

"I don't look that bad do I?" She squeaked as Gold stared at her.

"No, no. Of course not, Giselle." He said, steadying himself with his cane as he walked over. "You just look so much like your mother..."

Her daughter gave him a smile, turning so he could zip up her zipper. It's true that she took after her mother. Her hair was brunette and she had a slender figure, but the straightness of her hair, the brown of her eyes, that was all her father.

"You'll wear a coat over this I hope."

"Papa!" She said, "You bought the dress for me!"

"Yes and now I'm telling you to wear a coat."

"It's just a Christmas ball. The whole town will be there."

"Including the boys."

"And mom."

Gold's body went rigid and his veins turned to ice. Mom. Belle. Belle was coming. He'd seen her of course. Fleeting moments when he picked Giselle up for his weekends with her and then dropped her back off. He always came to get her. Not because Belle wouldn't come to Storybrooke, but because he wanted to show that he still cared. And Belle never complained. But now she was coming. And because of a dance no less!

"What?" He asked his daughter. Giving her a look that look that told her that her papa was less than happy.

"It's my first ball, papa." She said, trying to be patient and understanding but just... "And it's Christmas. And I know it's your weekend but she hasn't been here in years and she's always talking about it lately and I just...I wanted both of you here. I didn't know she'd say yes until a little while ago when she called."

Her dad was turning away, but then stopped. "She's been...talking about coming back?"

"Kinda…I mean not- Papa? You were spinning…"

"Yes."

"What were you trying to forget?"

Everything. That it was Christmas Eve. That tomorrow night he'd be driving her back to her mother's and he'd go home to an empty house and a fridge full of alcohol. That he hadn't so much as touched Belle's hand since the divorce. That there was a huge gaping hole in his chest only filled every other weekend. That he'd blinked and the little girl that put her shoes on wrong was now in a gorgeous dress and going off to a ball to dance. With boys!

The thoughts ran through him mind in a second, but instead of saying anything he simply blinked, giving a wave of his hand. "I guess it worked."

Giselle giggled, "Still, you're not coming dressed like that are you?"

Gold blinked, looking down at the navy suit he was wearing. White undershirt. Matching tie. He certainly didn't see anything wrong with it. His daughter shook her head, turning and disappearing. After a moment she re-emerged from the hall, a tie with a candy-cane pattern on it.

"You have to look a little festive, Papa."

"Oh if you insist…"

Giselle smiled as she watched her father fumble at the tie. This could work. This had to work. She couldn't go another Christmas alone with him I this big house. And mom couldn't go another with her wine and a smutty novel. No. This Christmas was going to be different. This one was going to be filled with…heart.

"Giselle…" Her father's voice was quiet, coaxing, unsure. She knew he hated to talk about mom. But they weren't right without each other.

She was little when they got divorced. About 7 or 10. They never talked about why they divorced. Not even now, when she was old enough to only live with one of them if she were to decide. Mom only said that Papa was a man that made wrong choices and left it at that.

"If this night doesn't work out as you plan…"

She cut him off, stepping forward to straighten his tie, the way she'd seen mom do a million times. "Then I'll be back next weekend." She said simply. "Don't worry, Papa."

Gold suddenly felt a lump in his throat and he pulled his girl into his arms, almost clinging to her. "Let's get to town hall…"

Belle had already parked outside the Storybrooke Library by the time she'd called her daughter. Even though she was dressed to head straight to the Town Hall where the ball was, she couldn't resist re-familiarizing herself with the town. Nothing had changed. But of course it didn't. It was a sleepy town in Maine, not the bustling city of Boston. Oh how'd she'd miss this town.

She ventured into Granny's, the open sign still blinking even though no one seemed to be in.

"Well well look at who decided to show her face."

Granny was wiping down the bar, Ruby immediately coming around to hug Belle so tight the brunette was sure a rib would crack. "You didn't tell me you were coming tonight!"

"I didn't know I was until Giselle invited me." Belle admitted, hugging Ruby back. Her friend hadn't changed either, it seemed, clad I a crimson dress that showed off plenty of cleavage and cut just above her knees, a silver sparkly sash around the middle. "It's so good to see you again."

"I know it's been what? Six? Seven years? Too long!"

"Well the town hasn't changed much."

"Of course not." Ruby said bitterly, Granny swatting her with the rag she was using. "But ya know. It's home. Hey! You have a date tonight? I was gonna go with Archie, and I'm sure Jefferson would-"

"No that's fine." Belle said. Despite not having seen Ruby in so long, they'd kept in touch over Skype, and she hadn't stopped trying to hook Belle up with one of the town's many bachelors. But that wasn't what she wanted. She'd left. She needed to. Every street held too many memories. She was only here because of her daughter.

"Okay." Ruby said, understanding immediately. In truth, she only wanted her friend back. Her real friend. Not this shell of a woman who distracted herself with every new book and project that came her way. "Hey Emma and Mary Margaret are coming to get me here. Then we can all walk over together. It'll be just like ol' times."

"Sounds brilliant." Belle said, a genuine smile appearing on her face. Yes. Her girls.

That's what she needed to focus on. Her girls, and not how she was hoping, somewhere in the back of her mind, that her ex-husband would be there. And like the yellow dress with a sweetheart neck and petal skirt she'd worn or the way she did her hair up for the ball, with a ribbon at the end of the braids. No. Nothing like that.

Ruby got her a glass of wine, and started talking to Belle about all she'd missed around town. How Mayor Regina was said to be seeing some woodsman named Robin Hood, and how Mary Margret and David had another kid.

"Even Emma is dating again." Ruby said, earning a glower from Belle, who still had trouble feeling…anything for a man that wasn't him. "This guy Killian Jones. He's in the navy and stuff. He's cute too. Uniforms and all. And he's got an accent. If you ask me-"

"Hey hey no gossiping about me and my boyfriend."

Emma entered the diner, followed by Mary Margret Ruby gave her a sly look before both women came to hug Belle.

"Well hello stranger. I almost didn't recognize you!" Mary Margret said. "You look good."

Belle didn't feel it. The wine had helped though. "Thank you. So do you miss one-month-after-having-a-kid." Mary Margret gave her a playful smack but the group laughed. "Where's Henry?"

"He's already there." Emma said, "He was meeting Grace. He got flowers and everything. God they grow up too fast…"

"Don't I know it…" Belle mumbled. Henry was a few years older than Giselle, and with him being her technical grandchild since he was the son of Emma and Neal, who'd passed a few years back, it made Giselle his aunt. Family trees were complicated.

"Are you staying till tomorrow?" Emma asked, I'm sure we have room."

"I haven't decided." Belle admitted. "I'll let you know."

"Come on, girls." Ruby said, grabbing her bag and downing the rest of her wine. "The party doesn't start till we walk in."

The group laughed, chatting as they walked down the street to the town hall. And the dance. No. Focus on the girls. This was what she needed. This was what she needed to focus on.

Now to make it through the rest of the night.

"She's not dating anyone, you know."

Gold almost hit the car he was trying to park next to at his daughter's sudden announcement. "Excuse me?"

"Mom. She's not dating anyone. Heck she hasn't had even shown interest in anyone." Giselle gave a glance to her father, but he was already getting out of the car, moving around to open the door for her. She wasn't allowed to touch the door if she was dressed this nicley he'd said.

As she got out, Giselle decided to drop the subject. The car ride over had been awkward enough.

"Here." Gold said, producing a box from his pocket. Inside was a rose corsage, flawlessly crafted with a gold band. "From your grandfather."

"I'll be sure to thank him." She said as Gold slipped it onto her wrist. It matched his brooch, and he smiled.

"May I, my lady?" He asked, offering her his arm.

"You may." She said, giving a small curtsy before taking it, the two walking into town hall together.

It was already bustling lightly. Christmas music was playing from a DJ table in the corner, there were refreshments and a large tree. People were chatting and mingling. It all made Gold feel out of place. He'd never gone to these types of things before. Not before Belle, and now Giselle. As they walked he gave a dirty look to any boys staring. Nobody was good enough for his daughter. Not even him.

"Papa they're not gonna bite." She said as a boy hurried past.

"No they're not." He said firmly, protectively.

"Hey Grandpa."

Gold turned to see Henry, clad in a suit that looked a little too big, a bouquet of red roses I his hands. "Hello my boy. What lucky lady is getting those?"

"Grace." Henry said sheepishly.

"Called it." Giselle said, "Hey have you seen mom around?"

"Belle's coming?" Henry seemed a little shocked, and Giselle shot him a look. "I mean, no I haven't…there's Grace. I gotta go. Hey kid save me a dance."

"Sure thing, Uncle Henry."

As Henry went off to give Grace the flowers and shake her father's hand, Gold suddenly became very nervous. He should have brought flowers. Or candy. Or something for Belle. Oh she was going to think he was so thoughtless! But did she even want them? Probably not. He took a deep breath. He could do this.

"There she is." Giselle said, leaving his side.

He almost whimpered as she walked across the floor to her mother, who'd entered with the other girls of the town, fanning out to find their respective dates. Yellow dress. Sweetheart neckline. Flowing curls. Blue eyes that seemed darker but still so beautiful. After a few moments of fawning over her daughter Belle followed her back to him. Her movements were stiff. Controlled. The way they always were when she was around him. He offered a nervous smile that didn't reach his eyes, and she did the same. He focused on quieting his pulse. He could do this. He could do this.

No. No he couldn't.

"Hey." She said, her voice little more than a whisper

Gold faltered, grasping for the words. To tell her she looked beautiful. That she was still perfect. That he would have begged to get her back right then and there, but all that came was a choked "Hey."

There was a pause as Giselle looked between her parents. She bit her lip as the music changed to something up-beat. "Well…I'm gonna go find August." She said, referring to her best friends from class as she took off the coat her father insisted on her wearing.

Gold gave a frown as he took the coat "Hey-"

"I can't wear it all night Papa it'll get too hot." Giselle said with a grin. "I'll be back in a bit."

And just like that, his daughter had disappeared into the crowd, leaving him and his ex-wife together in awkward silence. Gold shifted his weight, leaning on his left leg rather than his cane. "You look…" the word died in his throat when Belle's eyes met his.

"Thank you." She said. "And your tie is…"

He nodded. "Thanks."

Belle bit her lower lip, averting her gaze, trying not to think about how he'd looked at her when she first came in. How he was looking at her now. She scanned the crowd, trying desperately to find one of her girls, but they were all with their dates, settling down for the night's festivities. It was too early for her to pull them away. She needed something to focus on. Anything.

She couldn't do this.

"Would you like me to get you some punch?" Gold suddenly asked, sensing her discomfort. That's what dates did right? Not that he was her date but…well he just felt like such a lovestruck idiot standing beside her, wondering if his tie was straight.

"Yes. Please." She said, quickly at first, but tapering off when they met gazes again.

With only a nod he went off to the snack table, leaving Belle to lean against the wall, trying not to shake or hear her heart pound too hard in her ear.

One thing they both knew. Giselle had planned this. Their daughter was too much like them.

The night progressed without much incident. Every chance she got Belle would go off to dance or chat with one of the girls. But it was always short lived and she'd be coming back to lean on the wall with Gold. She always came back to him, and as pathetic as it was Gold felt some sort of comfort in it.

"So." Ruby said as she and the girls danced to "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" "You two getting back together or what?"

"What?!" Belle asked, stumbling for a moment.

"Belle haven't you two at least talked about anything?" Mary Margret asked.

The brunette stopped dancing. "I…"

"Hey…" Emma said. "Come over here for a sec."

The blonde led her off of the dance floor and to the snack table where Belle could count the numbers of chocolate chip cookies in the sweet she wasn't eating.

"Look I'm not going to tell you to get back together with Gold. Believe me I know that it can be…tricky with an ex." Emma paused to sip at some punch. "But I do know that just by being in the same room as him you seem…lighter. You almost smile that old smile of yours. And that's all we want you to do. Plus there's your kid and…well she's like the two of you is what she is but…"

"I know." Belle said.

"It's scary."

"It is."

"But it's also Christmas. Anything can happen. Even miracles."

The two girls went back to the group, and Gold watched as they shared a group hug before dancing again. Belle was moving more. Livelier. Whatever she and the sheriff had talked about it seemed to make her…better.

"Papa?"

Giselle was leaning softly beside him now, a frown on her face. Gold suddenly went rigid. His daughter was unhappy. That wouldn't do.

"What is it?"

She knew that tone. That was his "Who do I need to beat?" tone. She shook her head and hugged him tightly. "I love you. I'm sorry."

"Hey…" Gold returned the hug. "It's alright. You were only doing what you thought was right."

"I just want us to be a family again."

"Me too."

"Everything alright?"

Belle's voice held concern, and Giselle immediately brightened. "Not at all." She said, "Papa, thank you again!"

"For what?" Gold asked, suddenly clueless.

"For letting August walk me home after the dance. We won't leave before you. He's not that bold."

And before Gold could protest his daughter was off again, giving them both a sly smile.

"That wasn't about August was it?" Belle asked.

"No." Gold mumbled, "Sometimes I think she's too crafty."

"Me too."

They were both silent for a moment, letting it settle over them like a mist. This couldn't go on, but something in Gold wouldn't let him speak. Wouldn't let the words get past his throat. And she seemed to be having the same trouble, or at least that was what he'd like to believe. They couldn't go on like this. They needed to talk. Needed to settle things. If not for their sake then for Giselle's. He gulped, gripping his cane harder as he glanced to his ex-wife. He could do this. He could do this.

"Belle…"

Suddenly the music changed to a slow tune, the third of the night. Frank Sinatra's voice poured from the speakers. In my eyes are valentines, and easter eggs, and new years wine…

"Rumple?" Belle asked, tilting her head in confusion. But something in her eyes was expectant.

She'd even used the bloody nickname. The nickname that had just started with "Rum" the first syllable of his name so long ago but had evolved to "Rumple" when she'd taken to watching him spin. The nickname he'd found it ridiculous at first. He was a spinner, but that didn't make him resemble a fairy tale character in any way. Still, it had grown on him.

Once again, the words died in his throat, but something about his old pet name on her lips broke him, and he couldn't stop his hand from trembling as he offered it to her. "Care to dance?"

Belle blinked, looking from his hand to his eyes, finding nothing but sincerity and an emotion that hadn't stirred in her in so long. Too long. She smiled, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "I'd like that."

He led her effortlessly to the dance floor, and the two began falling into a rhythm and pattern so familiar. The rest of the world melted away, and it was just them. Just them and the familiarity of each other. Home.

Giselle watched from the snack table, nibbling on a cookie as she watched her parents dance with a small, confident smile.

"Well it worked." Henry said, coming to stand by her.

"I told you Grace was a sucker for roses." She said simply.

"Not Grace. Your parents."

"Yeah…" She said wistfully.

Henry chuckled. "You knew this would happen."

"Uncle Henry, if you are insinuating that I invited my mother to the Christmas Eve dance and bribed the DJ to play their Christmas Sing at the end of the night then you don't know me at all." She giggled "I hung mistletoe in every doorway of the house too."

"You're hilarious. You may not even need it."

"I don't like leaving anything to chance."

"How about that dance?"

Giselle smiled as she took his hand. "Sounds good."

As her uncle-not-uncle led her onto the dance floor she glanced back to her parents. Her mother's head was now leaning against her father's shoulder. And was that…tears in their eyes? She smiled, a wave of relief washing through her, knwing exactly how it would have went.

"Belle I…I'm sorry."

"I know, Rumple. I love you."

"And I love you too."