{I do not own anything from the original "Tenkuu noEscaflowne" series. [How utterly redundant is that on a fanfic site?]
Anyway, this story is dedicated to anyone who has been annoyed by the general consensus that Dirandau was turned back into Serena, and never heard from again.
Live on, Dilly-sama! Live on!!!
:-)And now, on to the fic..}
Dirandau-Sama sat at the table, seething with anger. He looked around him. Flowers in a vase…sky-blue curtains at the windows…shelves full of children's books. He hated this place. He hated it all.
Most of all, he hated Allen for dragging him here. As if losing everything he had ever cared about [his dragon slayers, his country, and his friend Jajuka] were not enough, now he had no choice but to live with Allen. Allen Schezar…..the name brought pain to his eyes.
He gripped the wine glass in front of him. That was the only thing he was allowed that reminded him of when days were good. Wine, sweet wine…that which brings the slumbers of forgetfulness. He never used to get drunk, but now it was an all-too-common activity.
He looked at the clock. Soon Allen would be coming back. Oh, what would the idiot have to say this time?
Allen seemed to be under the impression that Dirandau was simply a state of mind, a phase, that Serena went through sometimes, and that she would simply come out of that state if he waited long enough. And if he talked enough about things Serena liked.
Her old friends, who have long since grown up. Parties and holidays. Family get-togethers. Relatives. Nothing could have been more boring than that.
"I swear, one more look through one of his family albums, and I'll rip his hair out!"
He snickered, thinking about what a long job that would be.
But, Dirandau knew he couldn't do that. He had to endure anything Allen put him through. He had no place else to go. Anyone else would try to have him locked up, or worse.
"It's that dangerous creature from Zaibach….kill it…before it destroys something.."
They all hated him, every last citizen of Gaea. That was fine with him. They could hate him all they liked, he hated them more.
He looked down at the gilt-edged glass. It was empty now, as empty as he would like to feel. At least when you feel empty, you don't feel hurt. The pain washes away, and there is nothing left.
Tick, tick, tick. The minutes moved by slowly. Nothing to look forward, nothing to hope for. Why didn't he just end it all now? Yes, that's what he would do…pass that great thresh hold from life to eternity. He smashed the nearby wine bottle on the table, and picked up one of the shards. {I'm sorry, Mandy, if I took the idea of him using wine-bottle-shards for Dirandau to kill himself from something you wrote….I can't remember at the moment if it was from something in our RP, so I'm leaving it in for now.}
He poised his wrist in the air, ready to cut. He knew how to do this, he'd done it to countless others. He poised the other hand to strike. It stayed poised for a few minutes.
With a sigh, he realized he couldn't go through with it.
He tossed the shard to the ground.
"What's happened to me?"
He was certain he could've done this before….before everything was turned upside down. Before Serena came into his life. She was destroying everything. She made him weak, she made him vulnerable. She made him ill, and she made it impossible for him to control his feelings anymore. He would have done anything to be rid of her, but she had too much power over him.
"I'll defeat her….I have to………"
Odd that a little girl might prove to be the worst adversary he has ever known.
The clock strikes one, and he can hear Allen's carriage pull up the driveway. Dirandau stretched. He was ready for Allen.
"Ser…Dirandau?" Allen opened the door slowly. He was surprised to see Dirandau sitting in the same place as before he left.
"I'm sorry I had to leave you alone today. I-"
"I don't care," He snapped back coldly.
Allen blinked. "Dilandau is my sister, Dilandau is my sister…," he kept repeating to himself over and over. "Patience is a virtue, and that virtue is the only thing that'll bring her back." He took a deep breath to calm himself, and sat down in a chair next to Dirandau.
He was beginning to overcome the awkwardness of showing kindness to one of his worst enemies. The boy actually seemed nice, as long as he wasn't trying to bring the destruction of the world about.
He noticed that Dirandau had put back on his old purple shirt and black pants. His eyes set in anger.
"I thought we had gone through this. You're not to wear those anymore."
Dirandau rolls his eyes.
"Well, I might not…if the clothes you gave me were worth wearing…."
He went to the closet, and pulled out an outfit at random. It was blue…quite frilly. It made him cringe to look at it.
Dirandau: "You actually expect me to wear this?"
Allen: "I wear things like that all the time. I don't think it's anything horrible that I'm asking."
Dirandau: "You don't think it's horrible! If I had ever worn anything like this in Zaibach….."
Allen leans against his hand. He's tired of fighting with Dirandau over things like this. Why can't the boy just accept that he lives here now, and has to follow Allen's rules?
"Perhaps you would have suffered something. But no one will laugh at you here. Those are the highest in fashion."
Dirandau looks down at them again. He can't help but grimace.
"I don't care….I can't wear these….I won't!!"
It almost seemed a violation to have to wear those…these were not his clothes.
Allen: "You will wear them, end of story. If you ever want to leave this room, you have to. You are…part of this family now, and I won't have you disgracing us."
Dirandau: "Part of this family?? No one even knows that I still exist…."
He glares at Allen. His voice lowers to an ominous whisper
"You think you can get rid of me by pretending I don't exist…you're wrong…."
Allen: "That's not true…
Dirandau snickers.
"You want your precious sister back, don't you?"
Allen's face turns crimson.
Dirandau: "That's all this is….you think if you can get rid of me, you'll have her back. Well, I'm not leaving."
Allen: "No one….I'm not asking that….That's not what I'm trying to do at all!"
:: "How has he seen right through my plans?"::
Dirandau: "I'm surprised you're not asking me to wear dresses…."
Allen: "It would be undignified for a man to wear dresses."
Dirandau leans on the table, staring into Allen's eyes.
Dirandau: "I doubt that's how you see me."
:: "He still has some of that madness in his eyes. It's dulled now, but it's still there…."::
There was silence now. Dirandau continued to stare at Allen. It was as if he hoped that if he stared long enough, that Allen might melt away…
Allen couldn't stand it anymore. He had to break this monotonous silence.
Allen: "Well, I doubt you could blame me. I mean, you choose to wear a tiara. What kind of man wears a tiara?"
Dirandau takes his tiara off, and looks at it.
Dirandau: "The kind of man who doesn't care what others have to say about him, because he could crush them in an instant."
Allen: "You can't crush anyone now, so why do you choose to wear it?"
Dirandau walks over to the window, mumbling something about "Memories" He stares off into the distance. Allen walks over to him, and puts a hand on his shoulder.
Allen: "You need to forget the past. Zaibach is dead. You're comrades are dead. You can never go back. Forget them all, and start your life anew."
Dirandau shut his eyes. He felt his legs buckle under him. Didn't Allen realize how much those words hurt?
Allen took the tiara out of Dirandau's hand. He did nothing to stop it.
:: "It's working….I'm breaking through Dirandau's defenses….All I have to do is keep working at it. Time will get us through this. Time will bring her back to me."::
Allen: "I'll do what I can to help you."
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Dirandau sitting on the floor.
Alone…..
Anyway, this story is dedicated to anyone who has been annoyed by the general consensus that Dirandau was turned back into Serena, and never heard from again.
Live on, Dilly-sama! Live on!!!
:-)And now, on to the fic..}
Dirandau-Sama sat at the table, seething with anger. He looked around him. Flowers in a vase…sky-blue curtains at the windows…shelves full of children's books. He hated this place. He hated it all.
Most of all, he hated Allen for dragging him here. As if losing everything he had ever cared about [his dragon slayers, his country, and his friend Jajuka] were not enough, now he had no choice but to live with Allen. Allen Schezar…..the name brought pain to his eyes.
He gripped the wine glass in front of him. That was the only thing he was allowed that reminded him of when days were good. Wine, sweet wine…that which brings the slumbers of forgetfulness. He never used to get drunk, but now it was an all-too-common activity.
He looked at the clock. Soon Allen would be coming back. Oh, what would the idiot have to say this time?
Allen seemed to be under the impression that Dirandau was simply a state of mind, a phase, that Serena went through sometimes, and that she would simply come out of that state if he waited long enough. And if he talked enough about things Serena liked.
Her old friends, who have long since grown up. Parties and holidays. Family get-togethers. Relatives. Nothing could have been more boring than that.
"I swear, one more look through one of his family albums, and I'll rip his hair out!"
He snickered, thinking about what a long job that would be.
But, Dirandau knew he couldn't do that. He had to endure anything Allen put him through. He had no place else to go. Anyone else would try to have him locked up, or worse.
"It's that dangerous creature from Zaibach….kill it…before it destroys something.."
They all hated him, every last citizen of Gaea. That was fine with him. They could hate him all they liked, he hated them more.
He looked down at the gilt-edged glass. It was empty now, as empty as he would like to feel. At least when you feel empty, you don't feel hurt. The pain washes away, and there is nothing left.
Tick, tick, tick. The minutes moved by slowly. Nothing to look forward, nothing to hope for. Why didn't he just end it all now? Yes, that's what he would do…pass that great thresh hold from life to eternity. He smashed the nearby wine bottle on the table, and picked up one of the shards. {I'm sorry, Mandy, if I took the idea of him using wine-bottle-shards for Dirandau to kill himself from something you wrote….I can't remember at the moment if it was from something in our RP, so I'm leaving it in for now.}
He poised his wrist in the air, ready to cut. He knew how to do this, he'd done it to countless others. He poised the other hand to strike. It stayed poised for a few minutes.
With a sigh, he realized he couldn't go through with it.
He tossed the shard to the ground.
"What's happened to me?"
He was certain he could've done this before….before everything was turned upside down. Before Serena came into his life. She was destroying everything. She made him weak, she made him vulnerable. She made him ill, and she made it impossible for him to control his feelings anymore. He would have done anything to be rid of her, but she had too much power over him.
"I'll defeat her….I have to………"
Odd that a little girl might prove to be the worst adversary he has ever known.
The clock strikes one, and he can hear Allen's carriage pull up the driveway. Dirandau stretched. He was ready for Allen.
"Ser…Dirandau?" Allen opened the door slowly. He was surprised to see Dirandau sitting in the same place as before he left.
"I'm sorry I had to leave you alone today. I-"
"I don't care," He snapped back coldly.
Allen blinked. "Dilandau is my sister, Dilandau is my sister…," he kept repeating to himself over and over. "Patience is a virtue, and that virtue is the only thing that'll bring her back." He took a deep breath to calm himself, and sat down in a chair next to Dirandau.
He was beginning to overcome the awkwardness of showing kindness to one of his worst enemies. The boy actually seemed nice, as long as he wasn't trying to bring the destruction of the world about.
He noticed that Dirandau had put back on his old purple shirt and black pants. His eyes set in anger.
"I thought we had gone through this. You're not to wear those anymore."
Dirandau rolls his eyes.
"Well, I might not…if the clothes you gave me were worth wearing…."
He went to the closet, and pulled out an outfit at random. It was blue…quite frilly. It made him cringe to look at it.
Dirandau: "You actually expect me to wear this?"
Allen: "I wear things like that all the time. I don't think it's anything horrible that I'm asking."
Dirandau: "You don't think it's horrible! If I had ever worn anything like this in Zaibach….."
Allen leans against his hand. He's tired of fighting with Dirandau over things like this. Why can't the boy just accept that he lives here now, and has to follow Allen's rules?
"Perhaps you would have suffered something. But no one will laugh at you here. Those are the highest in fashion."
Dirandau looks down at them again. He can't help but grimace.
"I don't care….I can't wear these….I won't!!"
It almost seemed a violation to have to wear those…these were not his clothes.
Allen: "You will wear them, end of story. If you ever want to leave this room, you have to. You are…part of this family now, and I won't have you disgracing us."
Dirandau: "Part of this family?? No one even knows that I still exist…."
He glares at Allen. His voice lowers to an ominous whisper
"You think you can get rid of me by pretending I don't exist…you're wrong…."
Allen: "That's not true…
Dirandau snickers.
"You want your precious sister back, don't you?"
Allen's face turns crimson.
Dirandau: "That's all this is….you think if you can get rid of me, you'll have her back. Well, I'm not leaving."
Allen: "No one….I'm not asking that….That's not what I'm trying to do at all!"
:: "How has he seen right through my plans?"::
Dirandau: "I'm surprised you're not asking me to wear dresses…."
Allen: "It would be undignified for a man to wear dresses."
Dirandau leans on the table, staring into Allen's eyes.
Dirandau: "I doubt that's how you see me."
:: "He still has some of that madness in his eyes. It's dulled now, but it's still there…."::
There was silence now. Dirandau continued to stare at Allen. It was as if he hoped that if he stared long enough, that Allen might melt away…
Allen couldn't stand it anymore. He had to break this monotonous silence.
Allen: "Well, I doubt you could blame me. I mean, you choose to wear a tiara. What kind of man wears a tiara?"
Dirandau takes his tiara off, and looks at it.
Dirandau: "The kind of man who doesn't care what others have to say about him, because he could crush them in an instant."
Allen: "You can't crush anyone now, so why do you choose to wear it?"
Dirandau walks over to the window, mumbling something about "Memories" He stares off into the distance. Allen walks over to him, and puts a hand on his shoulder.
Allen: "You need to forget the past. Zaibach is dead. You're comrades are dead. You can never go back. Forget them all, and start your life anew."
Dirandau shut his eyes. He felt his legs buckle under him. Didn't Allen realize how much those words hurt?
Allen took the tiara out of Dirandau's hand. He did nothing to stop it.
:: "It's working….I'm breaking through Dirandau's defenses….All I have to do is keep working at it. Time will get us through this. Time will bring her back to me."::
Allen: "I'll do what I can to help you."
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Dirandau sitting on the floor.
Alone…..