Title: Winter of Our Discontent

Rating: K+

Word Count: ~1600

Summary: Mako waits for Korra after she leaves for the Spirit World with Asami. Angst.

Author Note: Not super sure how happy I am but here you go eat this trash.

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When Mako sees her disappear into the green glow of the newly minted Republic City Spirit Portal, he is willing to wait.

He figures Korra needs a moment so he waits a safe distance away. When the seconds turn to minutes, and those minutes evolve and grow into hours, Mako has to wonder what is really going on.

His arm is stiff as he retires to a cot in Air Temple Island and he struggles out of the dress clothing that was so difficult to pull on in the first place. Eventually, it all settles in a heap on the chair and he struggles into bed, laying on now what he mentally refers to as his "good side." In the destruction he's lost everything again. He owns the dress clothing (conveniently left on Air Temple Island) and the ripped uniform for Prince Wu's protection that he no longer wants to wear. It's okay. He and the people he cares about are alive and well, there is truly little he could ask for. He knows the morning will bring more answers.

"Where did Korra go?" Mako catches Bolin outside looking at the fractured Republic City skyline.

"You didn't hear?" He flashes a small smile that Mako can tell is forced, "She's going on vacation with Asami. I mean…a lot has happened. She deserves a few days off."

"Yeah…yeah of course."

"I was hoping…" Bolin fiddles with a piece of left wedding decoration in his hands, "…that she would say something to me before she left again. I can't remember the last time we talked."

Mako pulls him into a hug. "I know."

"You know I was her first, non-polar bear dog friend," the earthbender smiled fondly. "Maybe…" his expression turns towards crestfallen, "…maybe that didn't mean as much as I thought it did."

Mako understands. The events of just the last days or weeks would be enough to warrant a break. But when one considers how much she has triumphed over in the last three years, the vacation is even more warranted.

He tells himself to wait, to give her time. But there is this eating, nagging weight in his chest that tells him otherwise. Last time she left it was for three years without word. He didn't receive so much as a letter or any passed on message to know that she was at least alive and improving. And after she returned, he didn't get an explanation or so much as a muttered, passing sorry.

Was this the way things would be? Since when had Korra become someone to disregard her ties to her friends and family? Perhaps he didn't know her as well as he once thought he did.

Mako gives her the benefit of the doubt. Honestly, they don't require the Avatar to start the cleanup.

There is just so much to do. Korra isn't there when he pulls the first body out of the rubble of a building with his one good arm. Although the evacuation was mandatory, not everyone gets out. He has nightmares of the man's face, permanently twisted in agony for eternity.

Pema checks in on him. But they have done so much for him on Air Temple Island for him yet he feels as if he has still done too little to warrant their affection and time. Once the Republic City Police Department is functional he moves back into the space under his desk. The floor is hard but there is so much work to do. Rubble still lines the streets and thousands upon thousands are left homeless.

Soon enough, the chill in the air from fall sets in to the crisp cold of winter.

Mako is left out in the cold. Soon enough the time passing stops feeling like waiting, and more like existing. He loves Korra but she is not a prize to be won. She is a beautiful human being with more power to choose than anyone.

He throws in a few extra shifts at the makeshift power plant; they are desperate for power to keep all the refugees warm. It's harder to bend with his damaged arm, but he doesn't regret his actions; he would do it all again with no doubt. He patrols the streets, doing not what he needs, but what the people of Republic City need to slowly pull their lives into some semblance of order.

"Mako," Lin Beifong kicked his desk, waking him from up from an unintended nap. "You're still living here?"

"It's here or a shelter," he rubs his eyes wearily.

"Or Air Temple Island."

"Or that."

Lin takes a deep breath. "Look, I usually don't give out unsolicited advice, but I'm going to give you some because you look like a wreck right now."

Mako pulls himself upright.

"Some people in our lives are great. But at some points," he can tell she's pulling from her own experience, "people are more trouble than they are worth. Forgiveness is something that people earn and it's hard to give. There's no reason to keep people around if they aren't doing the same for you." Lin patted him on the shoulder. "Take tomorrow off."

"But—"

"You're not in any position to argue, Detective. You aren't Chief of Police…yet."

He heads to Air Temple Island. With Bolin there, it is stupid to avoid the place he could call home. His brother wraps him up in a huge, earth-crushing hug before hurrying him inside.

The snow is falling steadily now. He wonders if the snow that falls through the Spirit Portal makes it to that world; a small mark of their side on a vast mystical landscape.

When he offered to follow Korra and "have her back," he made a crucial and wrong assumption: that she could even want him around in the first place. He used to eye the green, ethereal glow of the Spirit Portals with a longing fondness; now it is just another part of the very changed landscape. Republic City struggled to embrace the spirits, but now with a portal and a chance to start anew, Mako thinks there is enough potential to create anything of the metropolis.

"Hey, City Boy!"

He recognizes the voice immediately, but can't help but think that "City Boy" isn't the right thing to call him. A nickname is familiar, a nickname is friendly. Friends don't take off without warning. Friends care, they invest time and care.

"What, a cold shoulder?" She laughs as she steps up beside him. "How have you been? How's the arm?"

Mako takes a deep breath and steels his resolve. It would be easy to just forget, if only for a few moments every that has passed between them. But as much as Korra taught him to be selfless, he's learned that sometimes, you have to make the decision that is right for you and only you.

"Oh, you're still here?"

"Oh, you're still a jerk?"

"Hello," he looks out over the water. "Arm is fine. Everything is fine. How was your vacation?"

"Oh, it was great!" Korra's voice bursts with enthusiasm.

She talks for a while about everything she and Asami did. He feels bad, but he mentally checks out a bit gleaming a sentence here or there are she waxes on about fields of sprits, frog tea parties, and never ending rivers.

"Hey, is something wrong?" She places a hand on his forearm and he almost flinches.

"Do you really want to know?" He looks her in the eye for the first time since her return.

"Of course."

"You just left us," he grits his teeth. "We don't hear from you for three years and yes, I know that you were suffering and needed your space but we didn't hear a damn thing. You realize that it hurt me, right?"

"It hurt Asami too I—"

"You never even gave me so much as an explanation. At least Asami got a letter," his voice is flat. "I thought I at least deserved that from a friend."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Honestly," he fiddles his burned fingers with this good hand, "no I don't. I don't know where you fit in to my life anymore. I thought I did, but you and I had differing ideas about that. And…that's okay."

In life, not everyone gets closure. Not all loose ends are tied up neatly.

"I know people need me Mako but Asami need me…she just lost her dad. And I needed some time away from being just the Avatar."

"I know Korra…" he frowns. "But I'm not talking about you, the Avatar. I'm talking about you Korra, the amazing girl I fell in love with. There have been people here that needed you. What about Naga? Bolin? Me?"

Korra reels back, surprised at his anger.

"I need time," he sighs. "I don't know how much but there's a lot to absorb. I know that you don't need me, and I need to learn how to live in a way so that I don't need you."

"Mako, I do need you…"

"You don't," he shakes his head. "And that's okay. I need time."

"Whatever you need," Korra won't meet his eyes. "I still care about you."

"I know," he musters a small smile.

All he knows is that the seasons change to spring and to summer, but by the time the cold chill of winter sets in through the windows of his new one bedroom apartment, not enough time has passed.