Woah, an update so soon? Who am I?

x

The Fire country sentiment towards shinobi had shifted from fear to devotion and admiration in the last two decades. Civilians used to be skittish near shinobi because of their dangerous presence and they knew that ninja could kill them easily. But now, they saw them as some sort of heroes. Konoha had done well in public relations.

It's mainly in the Fire country that shinobi are majorly seen in a good light. Peasants in the other countries might think otherwise though.

Peasant teenage girls loved, extremely loved, daydreaming about shinobi and they'd even entertain the idea of marrying one. It was something about fairytale stories in which shinobi would save the damsel in distress or defend a maiden's honor or discover their destiny with a normal girl as star-crossed-lovers. I had personally never met someone who had these fantasies, but it happened today.

I watched two girls arguing in front of me in the middle of the farmer's market.

"But, he's different!" One girl exclaimed as though it were a possible solution.

Kana, the girl next to me and a fellow servant in the Shoyo manor, rolled her eyes.

"You said that about the last Leaf shinobi, but it didn't work out, Izumi," Kana sniffed condescendingly. "Look, I keep telling you, at the end of the day, shinobi don't give us a second of their time. They're all about 'rules', 'completing the mission' and 'no emotions' and all that stoic stuff. And besides, they're not normal, they're different from us."

I absent-mindedly nodded along with her words. Spot on, Kana. I wonder how she came to observe those kinds of things about ninja.

Izumi folded her arms with a sulk. "I can change him," she said confidently.

At that, I studied her for a quick moment, taking in her soft features and naive conviction. She was cute in the stereotypical civilian way: long, soft brown hair in a loose braid framing a small face, small hands, slim figure, and demure posture. I bet her hands were soft, too. I could see her being popular amongst men and shinobi as well.

The type shinobi like to have a temporary fling with, a cynical part of me observed. She's the exact opposite of kunoichi. Soft, passive, and cute. Makes you want to protect her.

Another part of me admonished the initial thoughts. Nothing wrong with being the opposite of a kunoichi. Besides, plenty of shinobi marry civilians regardless, male or female.

Kana turned to me with a scowl. "Sute-san, you said that you're from Konoha. You've seen shinobi on a daily basis, right?"

I blinked and then nodded.

Kana gestured at the other girl. "Please talk some sense into this idiot friend of mine."

I raised a shoulder. "Shinobi-civilian relationships are common in Konoha."

Izumi sparkled at the positive reinforcement while Kana groaned.

"See! I can make it work," Izumi said brightly. "He'll propose to me, we'll get married, I'll join him in Konoha, and he'll settle down eventually. With kids, we'll be one happy family."

Kana sighed. "No shinobi ever 'settles down'."

Izumi looked at me for confirmation, obviously hoping for a second round of back-up.

"Besides old age, ninja only 'retire' if it's because of a career-ending injury," I said contrary to her expectations. "But even then, once a shinobi, always a shinobi. Their habits don't die."

The lack of support in her wishes made the girl irritated.

"Oh, whatever. You're just annoyed because my love life reminds you of that one ninja who left you years ago," Izumi huffed. "Kana, I'll see you at my wedding."

Kana squawked in outrage at the dig and I raised my eyebrows. Izumi strutted past us without another word, disappearing into the shifting crowd.

I took a glance at Kana, gauging her mood. She had a dark blush from embarrassment and was nearly shaking in anger. I felt a little bad because I didn't think Kana deserved to hear something hurtful like that. Also, she was one of the servants who welcomed me warmly into the Shoyo mansion, treating me like a younger sister, and gave me direction when I needed it. Kana wasn't a bad person, in fact, she was genuinely kind and rather sensible for an eighteen year old girl.

If it's true that she had a previous relationship with a shinobi, then her experience and wariness with ninja makes sense.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

Kana looked at me with a bit of surprise. "Huh? Oh, um, yeah. I'm sorry I got you involved in something like that, Sute-san."

I tilted my head. "It's fine. We should hurry with the groceries, though."

"Right, right, we don't want to make Garu-san upset," Kana said distractedly, gathering herself. "We just need to pick up leeks, follow me."

I trailed after Kana as she led us into a torrent of people doing their shopping. The number of humans congesting the wide street made me extremely uncomfortable, but I tightened my grip on the bamboo basket and kept a firm eye on Kana's back. Brushing past a few individuals, I managed to squeeze my way through a tight spot, but then someone's elbow came swinging. I twisted, keeping the basket out of harm's way, but another person bumped into me, breaking my balance.

Strong hands gripped my shoulders mid-fall.

"Woah, there, you alright?"

I stared up into brown eyes set on a dark, tan face. My eyes trailed to the man's scruffy beard, the cigarette in his mouth, and lastly, the Konoha headband on his forehead.

I straightened and then bowed. "Thank you. I'm sorry for bumping into you."

The man waved off my apology. "It's no problem, everyone is bumping into each other here."

We parted ways, but I glanced back and saw that he was walking with a kunoichi with long, curly black hair. I tried sensing their chakra, but the waves of other chakra bodies flooding the street made my head hurt.

Should I be concerned? I wondered as I found my way back to Kana.

The servant looked frazzled from my temporary disappearance. "Where were you? Did you get lost?"

"Bumped into a Leaf nin," I said. Kana's face pinched, but she didn't ask me about it.

Kana bought a bundle of fresh leeks from the vendor she frequented and then we made our way back to the Shoyo estate. It was a slightly long walk, about thirty minutes, so the time was usually spent with her chattering on and on about anything and everything. Although I tended to dislike unnecessary noise and preferred quiet, Kana's mellow and cheery voice gave off a soothing effect. However, this time, she was in a bit of a mood and was mostly silent.

I could tell she was rolling a question around in her head.

Finally, asked after some hesitation, she asked, "Hey, Sute-san? Do you really think a ninja can be with a regular civilian?"

I hummed lightly. "Why do you ask?"

"They're so different from us, and their priorities aren't always about family. What do you think?"

"You seem to know a lot about shinobi," I said instead of answering her question.

Kana fidgeted at my lack of response. "Shoyo-sama hires Konoha shinobi frequently. I've befriended several in the past."

At my blank stare, she reluctantly confessed, "I thought I had something special with one of them. He stayed in the mansion for some time and we grew close, but… I guess it was just me who thought so."

Yeah, I thought the same too. In the end, a 'close' relationship doesn't protect you in the midst of more important matters.

After a short pause, I said, "You're right that they're different from us. They serve the Hokage first and foremost, sometimes even family and friends can't get in the middle of that. But in Konoha, there's a good number of ninja marrying civilians, so it seems possible."

"Were you friends with any shinobi when you were in Konoha?" Kana asked out of curiosity. "You seem to know a lot about them, too."

I gave a ghost of a smile. "Yeah, I grew up knowing a few."

"Were they good friends?"

I contemplated the innocent question.

She doesn't know, she's just curious, she's just asking because of the subject, I told myself silently.

A flash of a memory, one that happened years ago, passed through my mind. It was of me, Takeshi, and Kenta sitting beneath the shade of the tree behind the Academy building. A warm, breezy afternoon. Bentos strewn around. Kenta giggling at me and Takeshi bickering. We were less than ten years old.

"Yeah," I said softly. "It was nice."

One of the more missives Diplomat Shoyo would have me do most often was briefly entertain his visitors before he officially met with them. The purpose was for me to occupy their attention and also sniff out a detail or two out of them while also notifying Shoyo-sama of what I found beforehand. The information would point a direction towards what kind of conversation he'd direct with the visitor. So far, the dynamic had been working smoothly since all of the usual visitors recognized every single servant in the Shoyo manor as there weren't many servants. With me as a completely new servant, the visiting noble would inevitably engage in small talk with me, asking about what I do in the estate, where I came from, my family background, etc.

The stout man in front of me was currently muttering under his breath, ignoring my presence and sipping the tea I had set out for him. Nobles tended to gossip openly in front of servants, but servants were usually too afraid to share what they hear because if they were caught spreading rumors, the noble would have them executed.

"You're a new face," he said after being bored with his own thoughts.

I bowed. "Yes, Date-sama."

The noble regarded me with some interest. "When did you start serving the Shoyo house? And where did you come from?"

"I came from Konoha and I've been working here for about three months now," I answered calmly, keeping my eyes averted. My focus was concentrated on my chakra senses, getting a read on his emotions.

As expected, he was currently intrigued by me because I was a new servant he'd never seen before.

"What's your family background? And what sort of work do you do here?"

"I am a simple civilian. I mainly assist Shoyo-sama with his library and papers. I also run errands with the other servants."

At the mention of Diplomat Shoyo's library and papers, Date-sama's curiosity increased exponentially. It was mixed with a touch of greed.

"Oh, Shoyo-sama allows you to help him with his work? A mere civilian like you?"

Nobles often belittled people in lower stations because the shame it induced often elicited answers to the sharp questions that followed.

"What sort of papers have you seen?"

Ate the bait.

I acted flustered. "Um, well, I've seen things about history and law, and there was one about someone trying to buy land in the valley-"

Date leaned forward. "What about the valley? Who's buying?"

His feeble chakra sparkled with surprise and excitement.

He doesn't know.

I ducked my head, awkwardly saying, "I'm sorry, Date-sama, I don't remember."

The noble made a 'tsk' sound of disappointment. "This is why common people shouldn't be working with important matters. They never remember anything. Say, girl, the next time you serve me tea, try to recall a thing or two from the papers. I'll give you a coin or something for your memory."

The blatant bribery didn't faze me since he wasn't the only noble to say something like that. Before I could respond to him, Garu-san lightly rapped on the sliding door to take the noble to Shoyo-sama. I bowed when the noble got up to leave and met eyes with Garu-san, gesturing the number 'three' with my fingers behind the noble's back. The head servant would relay my number to the diplomat in the same way.

I gathered the tea ceramics along with the other tools onto a wooden tray and made my way to the kitchen to clean them up. Garu-san found me there, telling me that the Diplomat would see me after the meeting with the noble. I spent the waiting time in a secluded area in the outdoor garden where people wouldn't see me easily, not even the patrols. There was a patch of grass with a large flat rock surrounded by tall grass, shrubs, and trees. In a way, it was a potential security threat since no one could see anyone sitting here, but for me, it was a good spot to be alone.

Pulling out the sheathed tantō from the inside of my stiff clothes, I took out the blade and inspected the edge.

It's a little dull, I noticed. Well, it's pretty sharp, but I've always been better at sharpening metal than people who use whetstones.

I hadn't been using it as much as I feared, which was strange in itself. I thought the diplomat would use me equally as a lie detector and sword, to cut people down when he wanted it done. Instead, he had Garu-san take care of the bloodier roles though I was often next to him when it came to actual killing and discarding of the body. Diplomat Shoyo hadn't ordered for me to kill anyone yet.

With a flicker of chakra, I slowly slid my fingers down the edge of the short sword. I could do the task with my eyes closed since it only required chakra sensing. My chakra gently scraped against the slightly flat metal sides, forming a fine sharp line. Once I was done with a run through, I scanned it a second time just to examine the result.

How nostalgic, I thought. I miss the blacksmith shop. And Kenshin.

I put the tantō back into its black sheath and adjusted it into my kimono, underneath the wide wrapping.

I've been reminiscing a lot lately.

My mind strayed when I had nothing to do. I usually tried to concentrate on the things in front of me, what I could see, what I was doing with my hands to distract myself from thinking of the past.

Itachi and Shisui. I wonder how their clan is doing.

If there's just one thing that I deeply, deeply wished, it was that things were better for them.

Minato and Kushina survived Naruto's birthday. They lived, but my parents died. I didn't die, so would anyone be saved this time? Would other people die so that the Uchiha could live?

I watched yellow butterflies dancing on the bushes.

Well, it's not like I have any power to do anything now.

I couldn't help but notice the ironic difference between the life of Me before and after the pit. Like two faces on a coin. One side was Me who kept quiet about my secret and lived a carefree, clean life though I struggled with the burden of foreknowledge. The other side was the current me, my secrets open, living under shackles, free of the burden but dirtied. I was a sinner.

My name is Isamu. Please kill me-

My hands twitched. I kept my eyes steady at the greenery in front of me.

I should meditate.

That evening, I was called to the office.

Shoyo-sama had me pen several letters to a mix of people. Though he didn't say it explicitly, I got the gist of what he was thinking while writing down his words. He purposely leaked some gossip in some of the letters about the noble, Date, and his intentions now that he learned of a discovered vein of iron in the west valley. If Date had already known of the intel without informing Shoyo-sama, then the diplomat would have considered it betrayal. But since the noble hadn't been aware of it at all, then there was no need to cut off Date from the faction. However, the fact that Date hadn't heard of the news at all meant that there were holes in the flow of information within his circles. The responses to the letters would give Diplomat Shoyo an idea of who was deviating from his expectations or commands.

Like a routine, I put back the books that were no longer needed, expecting to be dismissed afterwards, but Shoyo-sama stood up.

"Do you see the seal on this corner?" He motioned for me to come closer to take a look at his desk.

He pulsed chakra into the seal, which made me blink because I hadn't known he could channel his chakra. And then I got distracted by the array of seals flowing in the air and thrumming in the office walls.

Shoyo-sama watched me as I glanced around, knowing that I was sensing the chakra coursing through the room.

"This seal creates a barrier around the room so it becomes sound-proof and unbreakable. I have this seal in the lounge and in my private quarters as well, so remember that," he said. "Useful, isn't it?"

"Very," I said in a thoughtful tone. "I guess this is how you're able to have confidential talks."

"Yes, which brings us to a certain subject, Sute."

There was an edge to the nobleman's voice that made me nervous. Diplomat Shoyo's face betrayed nothing, but I had a feeling that he was about to do something that was going against some unspoken rules.

"I have a son who attends Konoha Gakuen," he said, watching my expression like a hawk for a reaction.

"Yes?" I said cautiously.

"What would you say about my son who has been desperately searching for a certain classmate for the past year? The girl pronounced dead from the Kumo Affair? "

I froze at that.

"A futile endeavor, wouldn't you think?"

He knows.

"Yamanaka Haruka," he said the name as if he was recalling a forgotten memory. "Does that sound familiar to you?"

I tightened my jaw. "No, Shoyo-sama, I'm afraid it doesn't."

I can't let Danzo think that I'm trying to go back to my old life.

Diplomat Shoyo looked at me with pity. "Is that so? I'm sure you would have known, considering your past."

"Why are you asking me this," I asked quietly.

Shoyo-sama walked past me to the door. "I thought it'd be prudent to bring up the topic since you're about to have a visitor."

He pressed another seal, creating an opening in the barrier, and let in someone enter the office.

The newcomer was a nobleman, perhaps a relative of Diplomat Shoyo because he wore the Shoyo family colors of pearl white and deep yellow. He had black hair like Shoyo-sama, with the same eyes, and same face, and suddenly, I recognized him.

Yuzuru.

Yuzuru stared back at me, his eyes wide with shock.

"Haru?"

The voice was surprisingly deep.

I couldn't speak. I just stared.

"I'll give you two a moment," Shoyo-sama said lightly, as if he hadn't caused a trainwreck of a situation for me.

Yuzuru stepped closer, his lower lip wobbling. "You're Haru, right? You have to be."

I braced myself when he barreled into me, wrapping his arms around my torso and tucking his chin over my shoulder. The sudden physical contact made me uneasy, I wasn't used to being touched with warmth.

Why is he here?

"I knew it. I knew you were alive this entire time," Yuzuru started crying, half-sobbing and half-choking out the words. "I just knew there was something wrong, that something bad happened to you."

Involuntarily, I raised a hand and patted his back.

"I'm alive," I said slowly. Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, because Yuzuru's crying intensified.

I couldn't believe that Yuzuru was here, knowing that Yamanaka Haruka was still alive, and that he was crying for me.

I wasn't the nicest person to him in school. Why is he crying like this.

Yuzuru wiped his eyes and took a second to examine me, looking at my face. He was taller than me, which was really off-putting because the last I'd seen him, we were the same height.

He seemed bothered with what he was seeing in me, his face scrunched with sadness.

"What did they do to you?" Yuzuru half-whispered in horror. "You're not the same as before."

I lowered my gaze. I didn't know what kind of response I was supposed to give to his words. It was always me reprimanding him or teasing him for his thickhead and pompous attitude. I was the one who would be better between the two of us. It was never the other way around. Something like shame pricked my insides, some sort of guilt for disappointing Yuzuru somehow. I didn't want to be seen in a pathetic state like this in front of him, out of all people.

"What are you doing here?" I said in a low voice. "Why are you here?"

I flinched when he held my cheeks in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

"I came here to see you," Yuzuru said with determination as his eyes stared into mine. "Just be a little more patient. Almost everything is in place, we're just waiting for the right timing to get you out of here."

"We?" I asked, so confused at what he was saying. "Timing?"

"Akemi, Eiji, Misaki, and the twins!" Yuzuru said with a big smile. "We've been getting ready to help you once my dad got hold of you."

My eyes grew wide. "What?"

They've all been waiting for me?

I shook my head. "No. You don't know who you're up against."

There's no way they can go against Danzo. He'll kill them if he can.

Yuzuru gripped my shoulders with a wide grin. "No, we know exactly who we're going against. It's the bandaged elder, right? Our plan didn't hatch overnight, Haru, and plus, my dad's on our side."

The name 'Haru' echoed through my mind when he said it. It was so distracting.

"Your dad is on our side," I repeated stupidly. At this point, I wasn't sure if I was hearing things correctly. Maybe this was a hallucination.

I stiffly shook my head. "There's no way this is real."

Yuzuru looked frustrated at my lack of enthusiasm. "Haru, believe me, it's definitely real."

Again, that name.

I covered my face. "Shut up. Just shut up."

"Haru, you don't even know the full story!" Yuzuru raised his tone. "My dad gave me time to talk to you now because of the seals, but-"

I don't want to hear that name.

I shot him a burning glare and shoved his hands off me.

"I said shut up."

Yuzuru stepped back at my venomous tone. "Haru, what-"

"You'll have to excuse me when I say that I don't believe you," I seethed. My hands shook out of fury. I really wanted to break something, to let out the rage that's been building up since the pit. Looking at Yuzuru's confused pale face wasn't helping.

"You come in here saying that you can save me?" I hissed. "You think you guys can save me?"

"Everything that's happened to me so far is because some people higher up thought it'd be fine to throw me away," I snapped. "I got no help from the people who had the power to help me and then some-"

-crazy old man takes me and I go through hell, I meant to say, but the cursed seal on my tongue paralyzed me from saying the words.

Frustrated and furious, I whirled and punched the wall. The sealed barrier vibrated against the impact, but it held firm. My knuckles ached.

Behind me, Yuzuru backed away, his chakra radiating a bit of fear.

I was so unbelievably angry. At everything.

Who the hell is Danzo to take away my freedom, I raged silently.

I'd been angry, but I never showed it. I was angry that all these feelings I'd been doing well in bottling up were easily coming out.

All it took was for someone to say my real name. To just say it so effortlessly, like I hadn't been forced to go through the darkest moments of my life to erase my identity. That someone like Yuzuru could just march into my life and say that he could save me like it was simple.

And I hate myself for wanting to believe him.

Yuzuru tried placating, "We can help you-"

"No, no, no," I said in a tight voice. "You can't-"

Yuzuru yelped when I banged my head against the wall. I wanted to tell him, but the damn seal-

The man who put me in this shitty predicament is someone who could kill me for disobedience and anyone who helps me will get murdered, too-

I choked on my words, trying to fight the paralyzation wrestling my tongue into submission. The cursed seal seized my body too, forcing it to convulse everytime I attempted saying something related to Danzo.

"Y-you know what?" I gasped. "That's not what really scares me-"

I turned around and showed Yuzuru the thick, dark marks on my tongue.

Yuzuru's eyes widened in alarm. "Haru, is that a seal? On your tongue?"

"The second," I said through gritted teeth. "I disobey, my brothers-urk-mmgh, I can't-fuck!"

-Fuck, he might have already gotten my little cousin-

The words that the cursed seal didn't pick up went through my mouth.

"-and I-I even told my back-stabbing clan head to watch out for him, but what the hell do I know if my c-cousin's safe or not?! I'm s-stuck here and I-"

I made a strangled sound, -don't even want to risk the consequences-

"-and it's driving me insane, but I feel like I don't have a choice-"

Yuzuru did something I never imagined him to do.

He slapped me mid-rant. The hit snapped my head to the side with a clear crack.

I numbly touched my stinging cheek.

Grabbing my collar, he yelled, "Do you want to end your enslavement or not?!"

Yuzuru's chest heaved from the outburst.

I stared up at him in shock.

"Yeah," I answered dumbly, the impact still ringing in my ears.

"Alright then," Yuzuru said decidedly and let go of me, setting his hands on his hips. "Sorry I slapped you, you were freaking me out with the choking and freezing. My dad did warn me that you'd have a speech impeding seal on you, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. Now are you going to listen to me?"

I mechanically opened and closed my mouth, complete loss of words. When I realized I had nothing to say, I nodded.

Yuzuru looked satisfied with my compliance. "Good. Sit down."

When I didn't follow what he ordered, Yuzuru pushed me down to the floor by the shoulder.

With him standing with his arms crossed and looking down on me, I suddenly felt like a child.

Yuzuru said, "I'll first have you know that the last I heard of your brothers, which was only a week ago by the way, is that they're doing fine and dandy as recently graduated genins. Congratulations, you've got genin younger brothers now. They got placed in the same team with a jounin instructor."

"What?" I croaked, my neck snapped upwards.

"Oh, and your little cousin is fine, too," he added as an afterthought. "What was his name again? Gou? Mu?"

"Fu?" I offered in a dazed tone.

Yuzuru snapped his fingers. "Yes, him. No creepy bandaged elder in sight of them, so you don't have to worry about that. And secondly, we spent the last year preparing for this. Give us some credit, we know how big of a deal this is! It's not everyday a bunch of brats, the son of a distinguished nobleman diplomat, and the nobleman himself take down a powerful elder of a hidden village."

I covered my face with a hand, my mind whirring from the onslaught of emotions.

Do I believe him.

There's a chance for me to be free.

Do I believe him.

A short bark of dry laughter escaped me. It wasn't out of humor, it was out of absurdity.

"I still don't believe you," I bit out.

Yuzuru bristled and opened his mouth for a retort, but I raised a hand.

"Tell me everything you know. Then I'll decide whether or not to believe you."

x

Yay! Good news! Things are rolling~

Thank you guys for reading, I hope you'll continue to read this story to the very end. Thanks for sticking through until now.