Sanji had never wanted to marry this Zoro bastard, it was a whole political thing. The kingdom of Baratie needed stronger alliances and their immediate neighbours were all either allied against them or were already allies with Baratie. The country of Shimotsuki was very far away, a good months travel time and until a few months ago Sanji had barely even heard of the place.

His father had been adamant on the issue of marriage though, it would unite their lands permanently. Shimotsuki were a nation of warriors but they lacked proper resources of food production which limited their military powers. Baratie on the other hand was a plentiful land but rife with criminals and other types unsuited for organised military combat. It wasn't that their people weren't skilled or well trained, those countries who had tried to invade Baratie had found that out to their peril. Baratans were a stubborn and ill organised people who specialised in defending what was theirs, they were thorough masters of guerilla warfare. With the powers of their cultures and lands combined they could become a strong force.

All of that though seemed to fail to take into account that both parties in this marriage were male, would produce no natural heirs and had never even met before their wedding. Their wedding of course was a very delicate affair, Sanji had to do his part as was customary, vowing before god to honour his partner and hold their vows true etc. etc, but Zoro's people were all staunch atheists and could not be persuaded to swear anything to any god. Their whole ceremony was an uncomfortable mishmash of cultures and traditions that proved highly cringeworthy for him and his new husband.

It was decided by Sanji's father the King and Zoro's father the Emperor that they would live for five months in one country and five months in the other, with the two months travel in between that more or less equated to Zoro spending half of their first married year away from his family, not a position that Sanji envies but one he will have to mirror afterwards

At Sanji's side is his translator Usopp and at Zoro's side was his translator Robin. That was another hitch in their marriage, neither of them spoke each other's language. Luckily for Sanji he grew up as good friends with Usopp so he trusts the man's judgement on Zoro.

The four of them are alone together for the first time, Zoro and Robin on one side of the table, both stoic and impossible to read, Sanji and Usopp on the other.

Robin looks at Zoro for a moment before trying a few languages before catching onto one that Usopp recognises, Sanji unfortunately doesn't recognise it and it seems that Zoro doesn't either. The two of them converse briefly and smile at their respective royalty, Zoro looks ill at ease with Robin's smile.

"We've decided we're going to work together to teach you each other's languages! Unless it's an exceptional circumstance we're not going to translate for you, we're going to tell you what you should say and you say it. That way you'll learn and bond with each other." Usopp chirps happily.

Sanji gawps in shock at Usopp. Zoro's expression twists into a scowl, so Sanji doesn't have to be a genius to work out that Robin just told him the same thing.

There is no way that this is going to work.