Quidditch League Round 8
Ballycastle Bats, Chaser 1, Reserve
Prompt: Lucy Weasley
A/N: Uh... so it's like past midnight and Idk where this came from but I went with it. So hopefully someone enjoys it.
WC: 1,266
OFFICIAL POLICE RECORD OF THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC, AUROR DEPARTMENT
INTERROGATOR: HARRY JAMES POTTER, HEAD AUROR
SUSPECTS: LUCY ANNE WEASLEY, JOSHUA GRAHAMS ADDAMS
STENOGRAPHER: Jack McDaniel
Please state your name and age for the police record.
Lucy Anne Weasley, age 23, master of eye-rolling and sarcasm in the face of useless activities.
Where were you on the evening of July 31, 2028?
Uncle Harry, you know where I was!
During this interview, I'm not your uncle. Where were you on the evening of July 31,2028?
Fine, Uncle Harry! Oi, steno, you should note that I'm rolling my eyes and sighing. It'll show the annoyance and the utter uselessness of me being here.
Lucy, answer the question.
On the evening of July 31, 2028, I apparated to the home of Harry Potter with my best friend and house guest, Joshua Addams. We were to meet up with my family there for Uncle Harry's - that's you, by the way - 48th birthday. Merlin, Harry Potter's getting old.
Lucy!
Right. So we arrived there, and everyone was dressed all fancy and grown up, except for the little kids - can you believe that you're a great-uncle already, Harry? Your youngest child is only 21, and already there's little great-nephews running around and pranking you. And I know he's only-
Jack, take that off the record. And go get me Joshua. I think my niece needs some time to herself before she can answer my questions straight.
Right, please state your name and age for the police record.
Uh, well, uh, Mr. Potter... I'm Joshua Graham Addams. Uh, I'm 24... yea...
Where were you on the evening of July 31, 2028?
Well, uh, where do you want me to start? I mean, is there a specific thing you're looking for... because you know I just wanna give you the info and get out of here, I've got shit to do.
Just begin at the first event of the evening, and we'll go from there.
Right, whoa, chill Mr. Potter, you sound like you could suck the happiness from the air right now! Sure you don't need a Patronus Charm or something? Haha. Haha... er, right. Sorry. Not exactly the time for jokes.
The first event, Mr. Addams?
Right, right, sorry, man. So Luce invited me to go to this dumbass birthday party for... uh... well, you sir... and so anyways, she comes to pick me up around 5 pm I think? So we apparate over there, and she's totally bored out of her mind because everyone's acting like adults and she hates that shit. You know, her hot older cousin's got a baby and is knocked up - whoa, I don't mean disrespect, it's just a phrase - so anyways, Vic is pregnant, and there's this two year old kid running around, and most of the people there are middle adge, successful adults and younger, successful adults. So after a while-
How long is 'a while'? What did you do, where did you go?
Probably an hour, hour and a half. They'd just finished off cake and ice cream when Lucy told me a bunch of us younger folks were heading out to do something more fun. So we went out to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink. Or several.
Who's 'we'?
Oh, uh, me, Lucy, that faey girl and her boyfriend, that gay couple, Albus, Hugo, Rose... a few others.
And what exactly did you do there?
Uh... Well, I mean, we drank, and then I drank some more, and then I don't remember any of it after that.
Right. Jack, can you bring my niece back in here? I don't think I'm going to get much farther on him.
Please restate your name for the police record.
My name is still Lucy Anne Weasley, and unfortunately, that's the way it's gonna be for a while, or at least until I get married.
After you left the Potter's residence around 7 pm on July 31, 2028, where did you go?
We went to the Leaky Cauldron for some drinks. Why? Is that illegal now? We didn't have any minors with us. Just family adults and family friends.
What did you do there?
Well, um, Josh and I had a bit too much to drink, and we ended up splitting off from the group around 11. We went somewhere more... private.
Where did you go?
Do I have to answer that, Uncle Harry?
Answer the question, Lucy. Jack, make a note that she was hesitant to answer the previous question.
*Stenographer's Note: Suspect Lucy Weasley was hesitant to answer where she went after leaving the Leaky Cauldron at 11 PM.
Ah, fine! Just promise not to tell Mom and Dad.
I can't promise anything. The Minister of Magic may be reading this report, and I can't leave anything out.
Ok. Uh, Dad - Minister, I mean - if you end up reading this report, remember that even if you still see me as your baby girl, I'm a legal adult and I'm going to make my own choices and my own mistakes and -yea. Uh. Well. So... after the pub, Josh and I went to his place, cuz it was closer and we were drunk. Besides, he's my best friend, so I didn't care. I've slept over at his house multiple times.
What did you do at Mr. Addams' house?
We... we sort of... Merlin, this is uncomfortable... We shagged. Quite a bit. From 11 to about 2 am.
...
Yea.
Oh. Um. What else did you do that night?
What, you want to know-
Jack, strike that entire graphic description from the record. This is a police report, not a porn magazine.
We slept. Then we got up the next morning, got ready for work, and decided mutually to never speak of this ever.
Really?
Yea. That's it. Nothing really interview worthy, I guess.
But I don't understand. If you two were at home before 11 PM, then how did you manage to, hem, get rid that couple?
What couple?
Your cousin! James, and his girlfriend, Lena.
Wait, that's what this is about? Where they went?
Yes, they haven't been seen in 24 hours, and they're needed for important business. They left no note, either. You were one of the last to see them on the evening of July 31, so we need to know where they are.
Ha! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!
What? Is a missing person report really that funny?
No, no, Uncle Harry, I just wished you'd gotten straight to the point in asking about that one. James and Lily said they were going to go spend the weekend at the faey world. Lena said she'd send some flowers to explain...
Jack, buzz my receptionist.
Wow, Uncle Harry, did she really think they were for herself?
yes, its not a problem anymore. Thanks, Lucy.
Treat me and my boyfriend to dinner and we'll call it even?
Fine. But wait- Lucy, I'll do my best to keep your father from overreacting over this. You're a good girl.
Thanks, Uncle Harry.
OFFICIAL END OF POLICE REPORT
ALL SUSPECTS DISMISSED