It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.

Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.

And I don't know how I can do without.

I just need you now.

"Do you know where I am righ' now?" She slurred, as the cool breeze hit her pale skin. She had consumed way more drinks than she would have liked this evening during Sasha's birthday, but with him being back home for the weekend with his wife and children, there was no other way for her to cope. 'Where?' Asked the receiving end. It was 1:45 in the morning and Kevin had no time to play guessing games. He had somehow maneuvered his way out of his shared bed and crept into the basement without waking anyone in his house. That was a miracle in itself. "I'm where everything began" she answered, pulling the chair out from the table, the metal scratching against the concrete floor caused her to wince.

"The balcony" he answered, with a small sigh. "What are you doing out there, Becks?" he asked, running his hand over his face in slight frustration. He hated when she drank when he wasn't around. He always worried something would happen or she would say something she would later regret. He had become her muzzle, for a lack of better words, over the past few months, and she the same for him. They were good for one another, even though their closest friends couldn't accept it.

"I miss you" she slurred, placing her legs on top of the table, crossing them and sinking into her chair to become more comfortable. "I hate tha' you've been leavin' more often than before" she whispered, tonight's alcohol giving her the courage to admit these things. She had become accustom to him visiting his family once a month on the weekends. This was something she could live with, no matter how selfish it seemed. However, over the past couple of months Kevin had been visiting his family every weekend and that scared Becky. She had somehow, somewhere down this frustrating and confusing road, fell in love with him. Kevin going home so much irked at Becky's never settling mind. "Do you not wan' to do this anymore?"

"Becks,I'm not doing this now. I'm here, I'm lucky I'm even on the phone with you right now. The last time you brought this up drunk, we ended up in a big argument, remember?" She rolled her eyes at his tone. She wasn't a child, she was just slightly intoxicated. "I'll be back to you tomorrow night, ok?" he reassured, but she didn't respond.

Did his wife get all of the same kisses and caresses that she did? Was he as loving to his wife as he was to her when they laid together? She'd like to believe no, but with him going back so often she wasn't entirely confident anymore. She pulled the phone away from her ear, staring at his name in her contacts, 'Chubby Cheeks' - He hated when she called him that - she could end all of her pain and suffering right now. She could hang up this phone call, erase and block his number and never really have to have any type of contact with him again, except for when she was with Finn, of course. But with the way their friendship was going, she highly doubted that would be an issue. Just leave, she told herself. "Hey" he called, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Ya?"

"I miss you" he whispered. "And I can't wait to see you"

It was something about the way he spoke to her that made all of her doubts in him, and their relationship - if she could call it that - disappear. Yes, he was a married man, with two children, but he cared for her and there was no fighting that. "Babe" a muffled voice was heard on his end of the phone and her heart sank. It was her. The tears formed almost instantly, slowly falling down her rosy cheeks. She tried to blink them away, but it was no use. She pulled the phone away from her mouth, she didn't want him to hear her cry. " 'Ey, I'm going to go" she said, knowing he wasn't paying attention. "Bye" she quickly pressed the end button, tossing her phone away from her and sobbing into her hands. This is how she had spent most nights as of late.

"Becca" her best friend's concerned voice startles her. She immediately sat up, wiping the tears from her face before turning to him. "I'm sorry I scared you. I sent you texts and you didn't answer, I just wanted to make sure you were alrigh'."

"Yeah, was jus' getting to bed" she answered quickly, " just needed some air after all those pints" she faked a laugh, trying to walk past him, but he pulled her back. For a moment their eyes met. "Finn, I'm okay" she lied, but he couldn't be fooled. If anyone knew her better than Kevin, it was Finn.

Without a word, he slowly pulled her in, embracing her. She tried to fight it, but he held his grip, "Stop figh'in' me, would ya?" he said, squeezing her a bit more.

"I don't want to cry" she whimpered into his shoulder, choking back the tears.

Nothing needed to be said, Finn knew why she was crying. It was always the reason she always cried - his best friend. He and Sasha had warned them from the beginning, 'this won't end the way you both believe it will' he remembers advising them. They didn't care. They liked the thrill of sneaking around, and being one another's secret. But what happens when one stops finding the thrill? What happens when one doesn't want to no longer be a secret? His best friend for ever ten years sobbing in his arms , that's what happens.

Her phone vibrates against the glass of her small table, but no one moves to answer it, they both know who it is. "You don' ge' tired of this, Becca?" he asked, pulling her away so she's looking him in the face. "This needs to end. You will never be his number one" As the words left his lips, she sobbed harder. Yes, he was being harsh, but she needed to hear them.

"You don' know tha', Finn!" she yelled, pushing him off of her. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying her hardest to calm herself down. "Thin's can change"

He grabbed onto her shoulders, shaking her, hoping it would knock some sense into her. "Becca! Wake up! Nothin' has changed in 4 months, nothin' will. He's married, you keep him occupied while we're on the road!" He was getting frustrated now, at her and at Kevin. Kevin had found the weakest person and made her dependent on him. It wasn't right and he couldn't wait to get a hold of him tomorrow. "Is this wha' you wan' for the res' of your life, or do you wan' to be married, taking the annual trip to Ireland with Sasha and myself and whoever you marry?" Becky would never fully come right out and admit it, but Finn was right. Her life was not destined to be someones second choice. She shrugged, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "Tell me wha' you wan'"

Him. That's what her heart told her. But when she opened her mouth, "to be happy" is what emerged, and she shocked herself. She loved Kevin, and would do almost anything for him, but no matter how many laughs, or late night deep conversations they had, she wasn't happy.

Finn walked over grabbing her phone from the table and tossing it at her. Almost on cue, it began to vibrate again. "Answer it. Tell him wha' you told me"

She looked up at Finn, and then back at her phone. "I can't"

"Fuckin' tell him!" he demanded, grabbing it from her and answering the call, placing it back on her ear.

"Hey" Kevin whispered, but all he could hear were muffled sobs. "Becks" he called, still no response. "Babe, I'm sorry.." He wasn't exactly sure what he was apologizing for, but Becky dealt with a lot with him. He assumed it had to do something with him, it almost always did.

"We're over" she could barely get the words out. Hearing herself tell Kevin those words crushed her.

"What?"

"I can't do this anymore. I wan' to be happy. I deserve to be happy!" she yelled.

"Becks..What's going to make you happy?" he trailed off, not sure the can of worms that he opened.

"Love me." She whispered, tears streaming her face, ruining the black makeup she'd lined her eyelids with, "Make me your firs' "

He hated when she cried, it tore him to shreds. Kevin ran his hands over his spiked hair, "I can't - Becks, that's not fair."

"Hang up" Finn whispered. She was fragile and easily swayed if Kevin said the right thing. "Becca, listen to me. You wan' to be happy. He won't make you happy. You won't be firs' , his wife is firs' than his children, then his career - "

Becky couldn't deal with the two speaking at once. "No! Stop!" she screamed, and they both shut up. Finn threw his head back in defeat. Becky's anger began bubbling to the surface, "You always do this! You leave me and like an idio' I le' you back in! Bu' I'm bein' unfair?!"

"Rebecca, I am not getting into this right now" He answered flustered, this was not how this night was suppose to go.

"We're no' gettin' into this ever. Jus' go. Leave" she spewed.

"You don't mean that."

"I do." she quickly responded. Hanging up she placed her phone back on the table with her hands trembling. It's over, she repeatedly to herself. She was going to need that for later once Finn left.