(originally posted on tumblr.)

crash and burn

Holy shit, we're flying.

Bonnie can't believe it. The little shit can actually pilot a plane. He wasn't just bullshitting her in Portland. She should be impressed, but she's too stunned to have a proper reaction. She's sitting in the co-pilot seat like a 4 year-old who is riding her first merry-go-round.

They're flying back to Virginia, they are roughly 30.000 feet in the air and the speed is somewhere around 480 knots, which Kai told her translates into 552 miles per hour. 552 mph. Bonnie gulps. She doesn't want to know more.

And Kai has a horrible, smarmy grin on his face, like he's king of the world, like he's God's gift to humanity, and she just wants to hit him, make him hurt for once, but if she did, they'd go into vertigo and she doesn't really feel like falling down from the sky.

The sky.

It's like a deathly opening, a great expanse that never ends; cold, blue, unyielding. She thinks of Kai's eyes and how they turn just so when he thinks of his family and his thirst and everything that consumes him.

He pushes the throttle lever and takes a deep breath as the plane moves through a big cloud and swooshes fast underneath it. His knuckles are white on the control wheel and Bonnie feels a big hole in the pit of her stomach, like someone punched her and took out all her air, replacing it with lead.

But he's still grinning like an idiot.

Bonnie glares.

"Knock it off."

"Don't like my tricks, Bon? Sorry, I know you prefer brooms."

"Ha. Never heard that one before."

She settles back in her seat, but truly, she can't take her eyes off him, because he's just so impossibly calm while he's piloting a massive jumbo jet with roughly 400 seats through the abyss.

"I started with the smaller jets, then worked my way up to the big ones. I realized pretty soon the private ones are way harder to navigate. Ol' 747s are where it's at. You're in good hands. I had time to practice."

Bonnie didn't ask for an explanation, but he's probably sensed her fear.

"Right…I feel much better now."

"I've never flown a plane with anyone else though. Well, there was never anyone else. So it's a first for me too."

Bonnie rolls her eyes, but her eyes are drawn to his white knuckles.

"So, is that what you were gonna do? If you hadn't…slaughtered your family? Become a pilot?"

Kai laughs abruptly and it makes her jump, because she realizes he's not as relaxed as she believed.

"Good one. Like my family would ever let me be or do anything than serve the coven. They weren't very fond of school either. Had to sneak out to go to school. My classmates sort of envied me. They thought I was some kind of moron. Like "dude, you get to stay at home and do nothing!" Yeah, dude, I get to stay at home and fantasize about carving Nirvana lyrics into my dad's eyeballs!"

Bonnie bites her lip and looks away, as hard as it may be to lose focus of him. He's the only other living being in this blue void.

"Well…you get to be the only pilot here," she mutters more to herself.

"Yeah. Isn't it great? The only place on Earth I get to do what I want is hell. But it has its perks. For example, I get to impress my favorite girl," he winks dramatically.

"I'm not your girl, or your favorite, or - just shut up."

"Oh, but Bon, the heart wants what it wants," he mocks, laughing, this time in a more detached manner that calms her down, but not for long.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she announces abruptly and unclasps her seat belt. She stumbles out of the cockpit with a bad feeling in her throat.

She has washed her hands twice now and splashed some water on her face, but she still feels half-asleep, like this nightmare will never end. And what has become of this bad dream? Where is it going? Like a plane flying through the nether regions of the world, she is lost in a sea of dark clouds. She has never been this high in the air before. She has never flown. He has given her such a strange new way of being.

And in the midst of all this hatred and fear, here they are, in a state of non-existence, surviving and prolonging each other's torture. Time has already stopped, but on this plane, she feels time has stopped twice.

Once they land, she knows they have to go back to the chase.

"You're handling flying pretty well so far."

She almost bumps her head against the mirror's edge.

Kai slides the bathroom door gently behind him, the blinking green sign turning white for Occupied.

"Oh my God, who's flying the plane?!"

"Ya know, there is such a thing called autopilot. Modern technology. A real miracle," he replies sardonically. "Makes you wonder why we need magic."

Bonnie releases a breath.

"Jesus… you scared me."

"Don't I always? And yet, you seem ready for me," he says tilting his head in thought.

She hates it when he does that, because it makes him look like an innocent puppy dog and it makes her skin crawl, the contrast between this gentle face and its cruel intentions.

He steps up towards her, eliminating the space between them.

Bonnie backs up until her back hits the sink.

"Your intimidation tactics are predictable," she spits, holding up her chin in defiance.

"So are yours. This whole tough-as-nails act has been overplayed, to be honest. You know what they say about people who keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results?"

"I'm not crazy."

He sucks on his bottom lip. "Yeah, but you're driving yourself crazy like this. Because I think you kind of want to give in."

He blows the hot air of those words right in her face.

"Right. Give in. You mean help you get home, help you kill the rest of your family."

"Don't pretend you like them. Don't pretend you think they deserve better."

"Everyone deserves better."

"Even me?" he counters, blinking.

She holds her breath for a moment, before her fingers clutch the sink edge.

"Everyone, except you."

Kai chuckles softly and his nostrils flare just a little. He gets that look in his eye, the frozen blue, vast, empty, unyielding. He thinks of everything that consumes him.

I want to make her scream my name as the whole plane crashes and burns.

"You know why I like to fly?"

Bonnie's eyes dart for a moment, unsure.

"I don't know, you watched a lot of G.I. Joe?"

Her tone is brisk, but a tremor in her voice betrays her.

"It's disintegration. Reaching so high towards the sun until you start breaking off pieces. Matter just gives up on you. It melts, it burns, it strips you bare. But you keep going, hitting that sweet spot just over the edge of horizon. Nothing ever feels as good as that. Murder, maybe. Little siblings cowering in fear at the tread of your sneakers, maybe. Good ol' dad stumbling out in the backyard with blood on his face, definitely. But no. I could be good and whole and innocent. Just give me that feeling. I won't ask for anything else."

Bonnie's mind runs in circles. She is at a loss for words. There is something about him that should not make her want to listen to him. But she's always been a sucker, always lending an ear to a good cause, even a bad one.

Except, he's the worst kind of cause. Temptation.

"What do you want with me?" she finally asks, wondering if she's doomed herself.

Kai opens his mouth, but she interrupts.

"And no, I'm not talking about joining you, or letting you go home, or helping you take revenge or any of that crap. I - beyond all of that, I don't know you. But there's something you seem to want. Something you think I can provide. But I haven't got magic. I can't like you. I can'tforgive you. So. What is it?"

Kai frowns, his eyebrows knit in confusion, as if to say "what else could I possibly want from you?"

And she should not, should not be disappointed at all. She knew from the start his heart is black and his eyes are frozen and there is nothing beyond this facade. He is the facade. Whatever his family has construed, he has fulfilled.

Still, she can't help it, the flicker of a shadow across her face.

Kai's eyes widen. His breath comes up short.

"Do you want me to want something, Bonnie?"

"No! God no. Never. I just thought - but anyway, I was wrong and I'm relieved. I'm glad you don't want anything from me. I just want you to leave me alone. I can't stand you and I can't stand you near me like this. I wish every day that I had never met you -"

Kai steps up even closer, one leg now colliding with her knees, his chest touching hers.

"You can't stand this?" he asks and both his hands grab onto the sink edge behind her, entrapping her in his arms.

"No."

Her heart is beating fast, but she doesn't move, she can't, physically.

"Let me go," she tries.

"I can't," he says, and crashes his lips on hers in one swift move.

Bonnie's head is tilted back and she almost falls over, but instead, gravity seems to be pushing her forward into his chest, as her lips remain unresponsive against his. But he doesn't give up. He deepens the kiss and nibbles at her lips, licking the corners of her mouth, like he's trying to draw a smile. His tongue darts in and out, trying to pry her lips open, and finally Bonnie stirs -

And bites his tongue.

Kai pauses for a moment, bewildered.

The moment is gone.

He pushes her against the wall, head first, and he's no longer controlling himself, kissing her mouth, her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, reaching down into the cleavage of her shirt, covering every bit of skin imaginable and Bonnie groans and closes her eyes against the coolness of this metal interior, diving her fingers into his hair, feeling the air pressure in her ears pop.

He is mean and reverential, like he is trying to crush a marble statue, kneading and caressing through her clothes, needing to feel her in his bones.

But he doesn't let her enjoy it for long, he journeys back to her mouth and this time he pries her open, because she lets him and he is merciless. Bonnie is starting to kiss back tentatively, but her head is swimming and she doesn't know where to put her arms.

So he pins them above her head. Holds them up with his own and tilts his head to kiss her again.

Bonnie's toes curl, as she rises up to meet his attacks, his body pressed to hers in such a way to make her feel everything. And it's obvious he can hear her heartbeat, just as she can taste his arousal.

He pulls away for a moment to breathe and she remembers,yes, we need oxygen.

"Fuck. I've never wanted anything like I want you. And you ask me what I want? Like you don't know."

Bonnie looks into his eyes, still frozen, still unyielding, but God, the expanse, she could lose herself.

"That's the problem. I'm a greedy little bastard. I want everything from you," he whispers.

Bonnie leans forward and kisses his jaw softly. She has no idea why she does it. Nothing has changed. Nothing can change. His words cannot affect her. Not now, after they've kissed. So to hell with it. She is flying. She can afford this small loss of sanity.

Kai closes his eyes and groans as her lips move downward.

"I know you can't give me that… because if you did, you wouldn't be you. And I want you. But I want everything. And fuck, don't stop - " he urges.

His words seem to fuel her.

Her tongue and teeth leave little marks on his neck and she is enjoying hurting him, enjoying abusing his skin and he moans low and leans his forehead against her and she gets a thrill of pleasure from her power.

He drops her hands, and her arms don't fall at her side; instead they pull him closer, one hand around his waist, and the other at his nape, fingers tickling and scratching, and he slams his fist against the wall, because her tongue has reached that sensitive spot under his ear, and he feels it, he fucking feels it -

Just over the horizon. I could be good and whole and innocent. Just give me that feeling. I won't ask for anything else.

He wants to scream her name as the plane crashes and burns, wants to disintegrate together, wants her little hot tongue to dip further inside of him and Christ, she is nibbling at his earlobe and he groans like he's never fucking groaned before because she is shy and pure and she is giving him this good and stainless part of herself - but she's also toying with him ruthlessly, boldly - his doom.

And the hand at his waist, the one she kept still - now her fingers are running lazily over his abdomen, slowly pulling up his shirt, and he has already lowered the straps of her top and everything is sweet and slow, but heady, their mouths together again, their tongues swirling languidly, not rushing, stretching every moment into torture and the bathroom smells of musk and heat and dead air, air that shouldn't be breathed at these heights, but before they lose themselves completely -

Kai's beeper goes off.

"Shit. Shit. Time to go back to the cockpit."

"We're going to land soon, you know that."

"I know."

"Soft landing, or crash and burn?"

Both. She thinks. I want both.