A short Christmas Theta/Koschei fluff as a present to my dear friend Mabudachi-Trio.
Thanks for the continued support and interest in my stories.
Fluffy fluff... I hope you're enjoying it!
Inspired by Blue October's "Sway" (some of the lyrics are hidden in the story... be the first one to find them!)

"Come on – dance with me."

The Doctor caught sight of the colourfully flashing lights draping the window and sighed glumly.

He'd owed Jack an apology; he really had had to make up for letting Jack freeze to death.
And yet...

"Fancy a drink?" - That's all he'd said; and now he was sitting in a sleazy bar, staring at the pitiful Christmas decorations dangling above the counter or in the window.
Especially that colour changing, power-guzzling tree-shaped monster blinking obscenely at the dark outside really got on his nerves.

The Doctor supported his dizzy head and rested his chin in the palm of his hand; he glanced sideways at the door across the room;
And Jack had disappeared thirteen minutes ago and the Doctor wasn't sure if he actually wanted to know what he was currently doing at the lavatory and how the charming young men that had followed him, who had been eying him for the past hour, could be of assistance.

The Doctor swallowed hard and tried not to think about it.

He placed his empty glass in front of his face, his arms folded on the sticky counter.
He stared absent-mindedly at the colours dancing and wiggling in his glass.

Christmas.
The Doctor snorted and bit back that depreciatory "Ha!" that usually followed.
The Doctor had spent many Christmas eves on earth; he'd lost track of them.
But he remembered spending some of them out in the cold, all alone.
And he even remembered running out of power in the middle of a snowy wasteland and having to set fire to some of the books he'd stored in his library to keep warm; and he remembered leaving the TARDIS and wandering about until he'd reached a frozen surface; and he remembered a man driving a zamboni who'd said quite offensive things to him.

But all in all it had never been worse than now.

The Doctor sighed barely audible and stared at the twinkling electric tree.

The flashing lights were nothing more than a bad copy of an imitation of the blazing lights of Inshrakhata.

The Doctor leaned back on his bar stool, dwelling in memories; his right hand lashed out and grabbed the counter, to keep him from falling off.

Those days...

"What do you mean you're not going?"
Koschei's voice reflected his curiosity.

"What do you think?" snapped Theta grumpily and stuck his nose into the book again.

Koschei smiled; but Theta could sense his uneasiness.
They exchanged quick and meaningful glances. Koschei's smile became even broader and he chuckled quietly.
Eventually Theta gave in.

"Just bugger off" mumbled Theta, gritting his teeth, "I want to finish this tonight."

Koschei wouldn't budge.

Theta watched him out of the corner of his eyes. Koschei placed his hands on his hips.
"I don't care if you're standing there" Theta informed him.
"And I don't care if you're sitting there" snapped Koschei.
"Koschei, you're a soldier, stop acting like a child!"
"...says the one who hides behind a book because he still believes that I can't see him as long as he can't see me."

Theta opened his mouth and shut it silently again.
There was no sense in arguing with Koschei.
Theta folded his arms in front of his chest; Koschei followed his example.
"Fine!" snapped Theta.
"Fine!" added Koschei. "So, are you coming or not?"
Theta pushed his book aside and was on his feet in an instant.
"For Kasterborous sake Koschei why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Because I don't see the point in leaving you here, all on your own, when you could be outside doing something."
"Like what?" growled Theta.
"Something like having fun and enjoying yourself instead of spending the afternoons behind grubby books."
Koschei shoved Theta out of the door; Theta darted one last glance at his room before Koschei slammed the door behind him shut.
"Right, instead of spending the afternoon with a grubby book I have to spend it with a grubby colleague" hissed Theta.
"More grabby than grubby, actually" grinned Koschei.

Theta grumbled quietly as Koschei pushed him through the Academy's narrow corridors.
He rolled his eyes at his colleagues who had stopped to stare at him in amusement.

Koschei's pull and push-along toy; that's what they used to call him.
His toy.

Theta stared at the ground as Koschei guided his steps.
That's all Koschei had been doing lately; pushing him around; pulling him here and there, shoving himself into him... inside of his head...

Theta blushed inevitably at his own thoughts.
He darted a half-hearted glance at Koschei, who wouldn't notice it.
As always, added Theta bitterly.

He hadn't talked to him. He had never spoken about it ever again.
The night in the tent.
The night they had escaped the deadly cold by warming each other's bodies tenderly.
He hadn't dared to talk with Koschei about it.
It had been too much...
No, he corrected himself, it was still too much. He never should have felt it. Koschei shouldn't have done this... not in this way...

Theta was slowing down again as Koschei increased the grip on his wrist.
Theta spat a quite Gallifreyan curse before rushing behind him, his eyes fixed on that beautiful neck in front of him.
Oh, how selfish it had been of Koschei to expose him to such divine feelings. To force him into feeling unearthly emotions, to let him experience absolute security and endearment.
Koschei...
So close...
So tender and affectionate...
His Koschei... fondling him... feeling him...
Loving him...
Kissing him...

"Daydreaming again, aren't we?" Koschei chuckled beside him.
Theta stared at him unabashed; he hated his cheeks for blushing.
"Just stop it, alright?" snarled Theta and bit back a growl.

Koschei had stopped in front of a giant Khajihla tree and started pulling on Theta's sleeve.
"You may be skinny but I'm afraid I can't carry you the whole way up there" smiled Koschei.
Theta cocked an eyebrow at him.
"If you think that I'm following then you're even madder than I thought" replied Theta and leaned against the tree's thick trunk with his arms folded.
"Come on Theta... don't tell me you're afraid of the height."
Theta darted an angry glance at Koschei. So he'd reached the stage of teasing... great. In that case, Theta knew, Koschei was close to losing interest.
"I'm not going."
"But the view must be incredible!"
"I said I'm not going and that's that!" shouted Theta. He was stunned by his own vehemence.
Where was all this coming from... this hatred... why... why was he so tetchy?

Koschei never showed his uneasiness; neither did he show any signs of surprise right now.
He considered the situation for a moment. Then he shrugged and leapt from branch to branch until he'd disappeared beneath the dark red leaves.

"Fine" whispered Koschei with a wind-like voice.
"Fine!" replied Theta and smashed his back against the tree. He'd never felt this kind of anger ever before...
"Just stay where you belong... at my feet..."
"Stop that!" snapped Theta; he suppressed the tears welling up in his eyes; he stared at the greyish horizon and breathed in deep as he tried not to cry out loud.
Why was he so hurt?
Why did Koschei's words hurt?

Something hard hit him on the back of his head. He looked up and found several of the Khajihla tree's infructescences thrown at him. He ducked under a heavy assemblage of seeds but lost his balance; as he jumped back on his feet he heard Koschei above him laughing.

"That's right... kneel before your master, my little toy..."

And Theta ran.

He didn't understand it.
Theta didn't know why Koschei would say such things to him; neither did he understand why it hurt so much.

Theta sniffed and sobbed unashamed as he rushed towards the forlorn hills, marking the end of the Academy's terrain.
But he didn't stop; he didn't see where he was running, he didn't hear himself snorting and cursing.
He wouldn't stop.
He never would stop ever again.

As Theta rushed along the wet and chilly grass he felt those thoughts, those hated thoughts he'd always pushed aside, rushing back to him and closing in around him.
Why did it hurt?
Why did Koschei always have to hurt him?
Why would Koschei never stop? Why would he never be satisfied?
Why won't it ever stop?
And why couldn't he stop thinking about him... about his Koschei, about his beloved and valued Koschei, his Koschei that won't never ever leave him, that won't ever betray him?

Theta skidded to a halt as he felt his knees sagging beneath his weight.
He collapsed on a heap of wet grass, his face hid behind his trembling hands.

When would Koschei ever leave him alone?
When would he ever be free of him?
Free of those feelings... this craving...
Theta swallowed hard and sobbed audibly.
The tears felt as though they were freezing on his skin.
He looked up at the darkening sky.

It was the third night after a blue moon in the east.
It was Inshrakhata Night; a primitive and archaic celebration was supposed to take place during this night and the following two weeks.
Theta hadn't heard much about it and he had to admit that he didn't care much for celebrations.
He couldn't even dance...

Theta whipped the tears away before he crawled over the cooling field.
The air started to fill with mist slowly and Theta was sure that he had lost his bearings by now.

"So easily lost."

Theta lifted his head a bit in order to catch a glimpse of whoever was hiding in the mist.

"So easily unsettled."
"Who is there?" asked Theta as he got into a kneeling position.
There appeared to be a distant shadow.

"So easily forgotten..."
"Koschei if this is you I'm gonna rip your limbs off and sew them on in the wrong spaces!"

The air became heavy with embarrassed silence.
Theta really should have enjoyed this minor victory; he'd left Koschei speechless.
And he'd probably never manage to achieve this ever again...

The thick silence was broken by Koschei's naive: "Are you crying?"
"No, my cheeks are leaking, of course I'm crying you bloody idiot!" snapped Theta.
He was amazed that he found the courage to talk to Koschei like that.
Koschei wasn't amazed; and he wasn't pleased, either.
"Why are you so complicated?"

"Why do you care?!"

Koschei squatted down beside Theta. Theta bit his lower lip and didn't dare to look up to meet Koschei's gaze.
But Koschei spoke the words that eased the pain.

"Because I always cared for you."

This caused Theta to raise his head; he stared into Koschei's warm amber eyes.
Theta's eyes filled with tears again.
But as Koschei tried to grasp him he shoved his hands aside.

"Why are you always picking on me?" whispered Theta while he started to cry again "Why do you never stop? Aren't we equals?"
"We're not the same" stated Koschei coldly. The golden rings in his eyes narrowed on Theta.
"We're bloody hell not the same!" snapped Theta "You're a maniac. You're a cheater and a traitor and a murderer..."
Koschei cut him off: "We're both soldiers."
"But I'm not here to fight you, Koschei; neither I'm here to fight myself."

Koschei cocked an eyebrow at Theta, the words repeating inside of his skull.

"Are you... afraid?" he asked carefully after scanning his shivering friend attentively.

Theta folded his arms.
"I'm cold."
And he waited for the tender words with whom Koschei had pleased him the last time.
Koschei's eyes glistened in the spreading moonlight; and he said nothing.

But he knows, thought Theta. We've always been together, we've always been one.
One soul, one pair of hearts, one mind. He ought to know what he should say right now...

"Say it" commanded Theta coldly. Koschei met his gaze and tried to cover up his fright as he pretended to know nothing about it.
"Just say it, you coward" spat Theta.
"I don't know what you mean" lied Koschei.
"Say it, for any God's sake, say it!" Theta lashed out and grasped Koschei's shoulders.
"I want you to say it to me, right here, right now, so that, as soon as I can travel back in time, I can come back to this moment of my life over and over again and see with my own eyes and hear with my own ears that you actually spoke about your feelings, that you had the balls to say it!"

The first flickering lights illuminated the cloudy sky.
The colourful explosions were mirrored in Koschei's impassioned eyes.
Koschei wrapped his arms around Theta's back and dug his nails into his garments, deeper and deeper, until he felt the flesh beneath them tearing.
Theta moaned quietly but didn't give in.

"Say it."

Koschei leaned forward and buried his teeth in Theta's neck.
He smiled.
"You couldn't stand me saying it."

Theta grunted and spat Gallifreyan curses as he forced Koschei on the ground. Though he had to admit that Koschei was right, his mind was racing with new ideas to make him pay for what he'd said.

He fixated Koschei on the cool grass and rammed his shins into his chest.
Koschei glared at him; his warm breath on his bare legs evoked unspeakable sensations...
Theta breathed in deeply and sagged on top of Koschei. He lifted his clothes cautiously until they revealed the most delicate and precious spots.

He retorted Koschei's mischievous smile with a broad smile.

"If you don't want to say it then show it to me... do what you can't speak about..."

And neither did the Author want to speak about it and mention what those two Time Lords, always ready for infamies, did next.
He just slowly turned his head around and hoped to find something small and presumable very fluffy, something like snow bunnies or a gracile arctic fox. But apparently there were no such creatures awake during a chilly winter's night.

So the Author was forced to hum quietly while he tried to drown out the naughty sounds that protruded behind his back. He decided on what he should cook for tomorrow night's dinner and remembered that his laundry still needed to be done.

And with great relief he noticed that the air had become quieter and that the indecent sounds had stopped echoing around the deserted forest.

He turned around and found two panting Time Lords, both of them shivering from exertion.

Theta snuggled up against Koschei and covered his collarbones with kisses.
Koschei stroked his hair as he let him sit on his lap.

Above them the sky had turned into a depthless ocean of colours.

Theta watched them in amazement.

"Do you want to dance?" asked Koschei half-heartedly.
"I don't dance" replied Theta without giving it much thought.
"There's a first time for everything" Koschei stretched and tried to push Theta off his thighs; but Theta gave him that beckoning stare he lusted after.
So he stayed in the wet field, his eyes following the beautiful explosions in the night sky.

"Why didn't you just... talk about it."
The silence became once again heavy with unspoken thoughts.
"About what?" asked Theta uncertainly.
"About your feelings... and your expectations... how can I ever live up to them if you don't want to talk to me about what you're thinking?" mocked Koschei.
"Look who's talking..." murmured Theta as he rested his head on Koschei's shoulder.
"It's me who did the talking. But it should have been you. You should have talked to me about it."
Theta opened his mouth. He realized that he couldn't think of a snappy reply.
He shut his mouth while he considered this again.

A vast dark orange fireball lodged itself into the darkness of the night.

"You can't even say 'I love you'" stated Theta eventually. His voice seemed colder than before.
"I needn't say it. You know it."
"Then why can't you just say it?"
"Because I don't want to spoil it. I love to see you beg; if I say it once, just once, it will be over; I'll never have this chance... this feeling ever again."
"Can't you do it for me?" asked Theta beckoningly.
Theta watched Koschei; he could literally feel his stomach turning into a knot.
"Watch the lights, Theta" said Koschei as he breathed in deeply.
Theta let out an unsatisfied sigh as he huddled against Koschei.
"That's right" mumbled Koschei to himself "Stop asking for something you know you'll never get."

And in his arms Theta swayed.
And the moon shined down and everybody was safe.

Theta felt the uneasy coldness creeping up at him.
Koschei tried to release the tension again.
He patted him on the back.
"Three cheers for all soldiers on the planet."
Theta chuckled.
"You used to say three cheers and one bullet" added Theta.
"Because you said the thing about the three cheers. You only stopped because you became a soldier yourself."

Theta watched the colourful sky.
His tongue dared to say those things they both thought but usually never embodied.
"This could be our last night... together..." Theta broke off in mid-sentence; he daren't talk about the inconvenient truth that awaited them.
The soft breeze swept past them; moved Koschei's beautiful hair; blew away his earnest expression.
Koschei stared at the lights unfolding above them.
He grabbed Theta's hand; and his words brought ridiculously empathetic tears into Theta's eyes.
"Then why should we grief about it instead of celebrating it?"

The Doctor stared absent-minded at the glowing tree monstrosity.
He hardly even noticed the stranger sitting beside him; though he'd definitely felt some weird looks he'd given him.

The stranger beside him chuckled.

"All alone?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes before staring fixed at the pitifully colourful piece of decoration.
Not another one desperate and lonely enough to try his luck.

"No. I'm with a friend."
That didn't seem to have the desired effect.
The Doctor felt confident fingers pressing against the spot where his pants became tighter.
The Doctor cleared his throat and reached for the stranger's hand.
"My friend's somewhere around here... must be coming back any minute now... just gone off..."

"To meet his Master."

The Doctor turned his head around and stared into a pair of warming eyes; their colour was chestnut with a hint of amber.
As his jaw dropped he felt a firm hand placed on his chin.

"Oh no, Theta, not right now, not here, you know we shan't do this in public" chuckled the Master.

The Doctor's mouth sagged even more.

"You!" he exclaimed as the Master started laughing again.
"Whom did you expect? Your friend Jack Harkness?"

"He's not my...!" snapped the Doctor but broke off in mid-sentence.
The Master chuckled again.
"I know" he said quietly. His hands found the right spots to touch to elicit a comforting and pleasing sound from the Doctor's lips.
"Because you're all mine."

The Doctor jumped from his seat.
"Ok, right, you're here, fine, I guess it would be best of you just..."
"Oh, how to shut you up" interrupted the Master before burying his lips underneath an intimate kiss.
The Doctor shiver as the Master's tongue licked his mouth impatiently.

The Doctor squeezed his hands tenderly. Eventually the Master pulled away, staring a breathless Doctor in the eye.

"Dance with me" he commanded determinate.
"I don't dance" replied the Doctor automatically.
"Because you never tried it."
"It's best to leave some things..." he darted a meaningful glance at the Master "It's best not to ask for things you know you'll never get."

The Master rolled his eyes; he didn't let go off the Doctor's hands.
"And besides, I can't. Jack will be back any minute now. I don't even know what's taking him so long."
"He's dead."
The Doctor's eyes became wider.
"What?" He stared at the door at the end of the room.
"You killed him?"
The Master shrugged.
"He surely won't bother us again... it may take him some more... well, twenty minutes... no need to rush."

The Doctor sighed. The Master wouldn't let go off him.
"I don't dance."
The Master rolled his eyes again.

He looked the Doctor deeply in the eye.
"You know who I am" he said eventually "And I know who you are. We've got this times of our lives. But one night, Theta... one night, my little Thete... and you can prove me wrong."

The Doctor took a deep breath.
And the music started to flood his mind.
The lights appeared above them, they shone just for them, just for the two of them.
They were together while the rest was gone, disappeared into the depths of their mind.

That last breath seemed to last forever.
Time to get personal.
And they swayed.
And Koschei grabbed him by the hips and wrapped his arms around him.
Feeling him...
Touching him...
His Koschei.
Stroking him...
Loving him...
Saying the words that were never meant to say.

"I love you, Thete."

And Theta had never felt more alive and yet gone at the same time.

"And we stay here until we want to – we just sway."

Season's Greetings and I hope you enjoyed it!