Prologue:

"You're stupid Polka, you can't defend yourself. Run! I will be right behind you." Natsume pushed Mikan toward the door, flinging his arm out towards the men in black gear stalking towards them with guns in the arms. Sweat poured down his face and into his eyes, as he concentrated on conjuring up fire as a barrier. The heat of the flames crackled with such an intensity, Mikan could feel it singing her skin, her eyes throbbing and sweat dripping down her temples. The flames licked the wall next to her as if urging her to go but she couldn't stop looking at Natsume. "Go Mikan", Natsume growls and Mikan hardly register that it's the first time Natsume's ever called her by her name. "You have to take care of Youichi!"

Everything went against the thought of leaving behind Natsume but Youichi was a four year old boy who could not defend himself from bullets. Strengthening her arms around the unconscious boy, she turned and pushed through the door. Her shoes slapped the floors of the empty corridors, devoid of all sound apart from the heavy panting coming from her. It was so quiet, if felt like to Mikan that everyone was sleeping, as if just a few seconds ago no men had just infiltrated into Gakuen Alice intent on killing everyone. Time slowed down for her as she thought about getting Youichi to safety; her vision narrowed to the pathway to safety, her hearing to the whistle of breath leaving Youichi's lips.

Mikan didn't once look back. She actually believed Natsume would soon follow.

To this day, she had never regretted anything more.

Promise me Natsume.

If you're ever captured by the enemy and you've exhausted all your options for escape…

When that happens... I want you to take your own life…

Mikan POV:

I kept running, thighs burning and my lungs wheezing for air. Suddenly, I was thrown back into a wall, shielding Youichi from the impact, as a massive explosion sounded throughout the corridors and a hot gust of air pushed me back. I could hear flames whistling the death song and suddenly, it occurred to me of what Natsume had done.

Natsume!

My eyes widened and my body went cold. I felt a hand tug at my shoulder.

"Mikan, it's me Misaki. What happened to Youichi?" I slowly turned to face Misaki, who appeared behind me. I handed Youichi to her.

"Youichi's fine, he may have just inhaled too many fumes. Take him back", I squeeze out. "But Natsume…"

Suddenly, it all comes back to me and I ignore Misaki's shouts for me to come back. My heart screams as I race down the corridor. My mind can't help replaying the explosion again and again. If anything happened. It would be my fault for leaving him alone. I hear Misaki shouting after me but I ignore her.

Natsume…

Natsume, please be okay…

But when I burst into the room, it's clear that death's smell is in the air; corpses of blacked charred bodies of men in gear litter the room and grey ashes float about in the thick air. And in front of me, Natsume is lying on his back; untouched by fire but unstirring. It looks like he's asleep but when I come closer, the blood from the corner of his mouth becomes clear.

"Natsume?...Natsume?..Natsume?" I croak and gather him in my arms. I already know but I still try to shake him, whisper to him, even make jokes about polka dots so he can open his eyes and tell me how stupid I am. At one point I even scream. But it's clear after a few seconds….he's dead, his alice burnt out his life span and he's not coming back.

My chest is ripping apart as I drape myself across his chest. My tears soak his shirts and I search out for that one sound but his heart beat is not there.

I squeeze my eyes. "Oh Kamisama", I sob, "If you're even out there. Please spare his life…." I raise my eyes to the ceiling in determination. "I will give you anything….Anything. If you let him live." And as if I had imagined it, the room shook in agreement. "I will give you my life."

For a while, I stayed there, clutching Natsume's body to my chest. I didn't realize when the teachers of the Gakuen rushed in. Narumi sensei pried my arms slowly from Natsume and held me as if inviting me to cry. But strangely, not a single tear was shedding from my eyes. It was as if I knew….

Beneath me, Natsume's chest suddenly shuddered.

"Oh Mikan…." Narumi sensei looked at me sadly and I knew then that he knew what I had done.

Chapter 1:

"Here are some flowers", Mikan's best friend Hotaru Imai thrust out a vase of flowers to her in an unexpected and rare show of worry; she smiled and graciously accepted them; it seemed like she had worried a lot of her classmates and teachers, whom had visited her in groups over the last few days. This morning, Hotaru, Ruka, and Youchi was visiting and she was filled with nothing but gratitude for them; after nearly losing Natsume, it had been decided that she needed to cherish all of her friendships.

"Thank you everyone", tears filled Mikan's eyes and threatened to overspill as she was overcome with emotion. Stuck in this hospital bed for more than a week, the experience was driving her crazy and up the walls; the bed linen and sheets were too rough and heavy, there was always a draft even though she made sure to close all the windows and the white walls were constricting; too clean, too tidy and blank. It was hard to breathe. But her friends always visited to keep boredom away.

"Sakura- san, please get better and come back to class. Everyone misses you", Ruka smiled gently, pulling back Youichi who was busy trying to clamber up Mikan and pull her hair. Next to her Hotaru frowned at this.

"What have you been doing in hospital for a week, you moron", Hotaru narrowed her eyes. "Even Natsume is ready to get discharged. You better not be trying to avoid school because you want to escape maths lessons."

Mikan laughed nervously, remembering Jinno's specific way of torturing her using maths. She gulped when she thought about everything she would have to catch up from.

In truth, her body was too weak for her to go back to the academy. She'd never felt so helpless, so vulnerable; unable to stand on her feet, feeling empty inside. Her heart would break when she'd thought about how Natsume lived in this state for so many years at the academy. After the night she had begged a god to bring Natsume back, Narumi- sensei explained that she had been given the ability to take pain from others but in turn, the pain would then be inflicted on her.

That night, she took some of the damage of Natsume's life-draining alice ensuring he would live, but doing that didn't solve problems; it just created new ones. She'd never forget the way Narumi sensei cried afterwards; he was always so happy, which annoyed a lot of people but had always comforted Mikan, but he was too shocked and heartbroken from what Mikan had just done to her own life.

"Don't ever use this ability", Narumi warned taking Mikan by her shoulders and looking into her eyes to make sure she understood. "The more you use it, the more it kills you."

"Thank you Ruka pyon", Mikan smiled and then pouted at Hotaru, "I am not trying to avoid anything, missing math lessons just an ehm….Unfortunate coincidence."

Ruka laughed. "Yeah, very unfortunate indeed." Grabbing Youichi by the waist, he hoisted him onto his shoulders much to Youichi's dismay. "We should go back to class. Oh and, Mikan", Ruka turns back from the doorway, " Jinno-sensei misses you the most."

Mikan laughed but quickly sobered when she saw Youichi's probing stare. He seemed to be sticking to her nowadays, although once he wouldn't go near her even when she asked because he preferred Natsume. He even stopped calling her ugly and annoying. It was slightly disconcerting. The four year old seemed to be able to sense her vulnerability and wanted to comfort her.

"Narumi sensei!" She sat up, spotting her next visitor, who was wearing his usual beret and happy smile. Shutting the door behind him with a click, he took a seat beside Mikan's bed and clasped her hands with his own.

"How are you doing?" He winked at her.

"I'm great otou-san", she flung her arms around his neck and he laughed patting her head. Mikan liked the way his chest rumbled when he did so, his deep sinewy voice vibrating as she lay her head on his shoulder.

"I knew you'd be fine. You're always are. You're so strong", his voice caught and Mikan sat up. "Mikan, this new ability is not particularly dangerous to others but it is dangerous to you. So I think we should get an alice control band for you."

Mikan was shocked. What Narumi sensei said made sense to her but she'd never thought she would need an alice control band; her powers were so little that she didn't really need one. It was actually a little exciting to her.

"Okay Otou-san." She leant back, "But I have one question. Will Natsume still be doing missions?" She saw Narumi turn his head slightly away and she suddenly felt furious, her fingers clenched the bed sheets so tightly they turned white. "I don't want him to! I didn't save him so that he could continue to use up his life!"

When Narumi still didn't speak, she pushed on. "If you do this, I will continue to heal him. I don't care what it might do to me. This academy is killing all of us anyway!"

Narumi covered his face with his hands, knowing he'd failed Mikan; when he first brought her in, she was bubbly and innocent but now, exposed to the dark side of the academy, she could never go back to unknowing; he could never undo what had happened. "I knew you would ask this. So I thought on it."

Turning his head to the door, he called, "come in."

The door slid open and slinky black heels clicked on the ceramic floor. Mikan felt fear as she looked up at the masked face of Persona. With his stiff lips and mask, she couldn't tell any emotion. He stood ram-rod straight and his voice was like a silky snake slithering up her spine.

"If there is anyone who knows control, it's Persona", Narumi explained.

"Mikan Sakura", Persona announced to her, "I will train your ability to take pain and you will be transferred to Dangerous Ability, working as a partner to Natsume Hyuuga and others. Do you agree?"

Mikan took this in and then met his eyes.

"I agree."

A/N: This is the first fanfiction that i've ever written on here, so please tell me what you think! XD Constructive criticism is welcome! But no flames please.

(｡+･`ω･´)