AN: Happy Holidays everyone!

Tonight was the night. Nervous butterflies filled Olivia's stomach as she got ready. She methodically rolled her thigh highs up her legs and fastened them to her garter belts. She smoothed her hands down her little black dress and stared at herself in the full length mirror hanging on the door in her closet. Her hair was still in the rollers, but she was fully dressed and her makeup was done. She still could not believe that the day had finally come. She had envisioned it many times and each had a different outcome. Sometimes in her mind she would go through with it, other times she would chicken out. But tonight, there was no way that she wasn't going. It had been three long years and she was more than ready.

Looking one last time, she moved from the closet to the bathroom so that she could take out her rollers. The voluminous curls bounced free and she fingered them so that they hung loosely around her shoulders. Sweeping her bangs to the side and out of her eyes, she deemed that she was ready. Going back to the closet, she got her favorite red heels and clutch. When she entered her bedroom again, a sense of guilt hit her. She looked around at the life that she had built and even more guilt washed over her system. Pictures of her life after him clung to the walls, her fiancé's shoes were scattered on the floor. She was supposed to have moved on, she was standing in the sun. Could she really go through with this? The answer was yes.

Turning off the lights, she left the room and headed down the stairs. If he were here, there would be no way that she would be able to do this. But she knew that this day was coming for three years now and had enough sense to plan ahead. She didn't want to have to sneak back in the middle of the night or worry about emergency phone calls. Tonight would be about him and only him.

She left her home and climbed into her car. The whole drive there had her nerves shot. A million possibilities clouded her mind and she almost felt like she was going to throw up. They had agreed to meet at a neutral place that had just so happened to be about thirty minutes away from her new home. The closer she got, the calmer she became. She knew him, this was what was familiar. There was no need for her to be nervous.

She pulled up to Bistro du Midi and a valet quickly came up and took her keys. Heading inside the best French restaurant in Boston, Olivia was taken aback by the beautiful décor. From the warm colors on the sliding barn doors, the restaurant had a homey feel that instantly soothed all of her anxieties. She walked up to the smiling hostess and told her the name that they had put on the reservation. The hostess smiled and told Olivia to follow her to the private dining room upstairs. Anticipation thrummed in her veins the closer that she got. Finally, when they reached the thick curtain that closed off the room to the other diners, Olivia had to take a deep breath before proceeding in.

"Can you give us a few minutes before you send the waiter in?" Olivia asked the hostess and she nodded that she would.

It was now or never.

Fitz had waited a very long time for this moment. He'd gone through hell the last three years, but he stuck to his word and stayed out of her life. His reign as president was finally over, he was now divorced, and though he was extremely skeptical, he stuck to what she had asked him a few months ago. It hadn't been easy to follow through, especially since he had no idea what she had been up to. Only that she was indeed with Jake. He didn't have her followed, he didn't keep tabs, he didn't dwell on her not choosing him. It was what it was and he was trying to live his life. But then he got a phone call two weeks ago and everything came crashing back.

Fitz's last day of presidency had been last week and he was still getting used to the feeling of not having to be responsible for an entire country. He finished his term out strong, hoping to leave a lasting legacy. He wanted all of his sacrifices, all of the heartache, almost losing his life, everything, to be worth it. He and Mellie remained married. He honestly didn't see the point of causing more drama in his life, especially since Olivia wouldn't be on the other end waiting for him. They came to have a mutual respect and friendship for each other, and in the last months of his presidency, they had quietly started the divorce process. It would be final in a few days and Fitz couldn't wait to begin his life post-presidency. He didn't have any illusions of finding love again. He knew that there was a good chance that wouldn't be happening, but he was open to it.

He was getting settled into the house in Vermont. He had considered going back to California, but what he really wanted was solitude. Out here in the middle of nowhere in Vermont was where he wanted to be. He could ride his horses, tend to the land, have his children come out and see him, and just quietly exist. Part of him still thought about what it would be like to have Olivia with him, but he didn't dwell on it. She had made her choice and there was no need to be stuck in that cycle anymore.

He had just taken the last box off of the moving truck when he heard his new cellphone ring. He figured it was from Karen and Teddy calling to see if he had gotten settled in fine. Besides them and Mellie, and Cyrus, no one else had this number. He wanted to cut all ties with Washington and really wanted to start afresh in this sleepy little town. Not even checking the caller i.d, he answered after a couple of rings.

"Hey guys, I just unloaded the last box. Everything will be ready for you to come out next week," Fitz said with a smile.

"Fitz, hi…it's me," an all too familiar voice said on the other end.

"How did you get this number?" Immediately his tone hardened and he built up his walls against her.

"I bribed Cyrus for it. Don't be mad at him, I really needed to talk to you."

"Olivia, I have nothing to say to you. Anything I needed to say was said three years ago. I really don't know why you're calling," Fitz told her, trying hard not to feel anything towards her.

"I just wanted to say congratulations on finishing out your presidency. I followed it and the work you did was brilliant. I was proud of you. You were the man I had voted for…both times," she said almost shyly.

Olivia didn't know why she had called him. Towards the end of his term, she couldn't' get him out of her mind. She had truly believed she made the right decision in choosing Jake. He loved her, he was available, he was what she needed at the time. But Fitz, he was in her blood. There was not a day that went by that she hadn't thought about him, about what could've and should've been. As his term came to a close, she fully expected him to contact her. But as the days went on, she realized that he was completely serious about never seeing her again. She couldn't fathom the thought of him not being in her life and she knew that she'd have to make the first move.

It took a lot of convincing and reminding Cyrus of all the favors she had done for him until he finally relented and gave her the phone number. She sat and stared at the number for almost a full hour before she had the courage to press call. Their last phone call had been hard and she knew that she had broken him. She truly just wanted to apologize to him and see how he was doing. She had no expectations past that.

"Thank you, that means a lot coming from you," Fitz said, leaning against a nearby wall.

It was silent for a few moments, them just listening to each other breathe like old times. "I want to see you," Olivia blurted out.

"No."

"No? Not maybe, not you'll think about it, just no?" Olivia asked, sounding hurt but expecting it.

"I am trying to move on with my life Olivia, I really just want to put the past, and you, behind me," Fitz sighed, not wanting to sound harsh but needing to be clear.

"I think we owe it to each other…"

"Are you still with Jake?" Fitz bit out.

"Yes, but you're still married to Mellie so it's a moot point," Olivia quipped

"My divorce will be final on Wednesday. If you're still with Jake, then what the hell will be the purpose? To reassure yourself that you made the right choice? And when you go home to him at the end of the night, what am I supposed to do?"

"I just…I just need to see you," she couldn't explain it. Tears were forming in her eyes and she was close to losing it. This was her first time talking to him in so long and it wasn't going how she planned. "Please."

She could hear him thinking on the other end, could feel him giving in. She just needed to hear the words. "Okay. I'll text you the address and the day. It's going to be a few weeks from now to give you plenty of time to change your mind. I know that you like to do that." And with that, he hung up.

She wasn't going to change her mind this time.

He could feel her presence on the other side of the curtain and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Coming out of his seat, he stood by the table and waited for the curtain to part to reveal the love of his life. Inch by inch it moved until it was open just enough to let her in. His breath caught in his chest and he had to fight not to feel too much for her. She looked radiant. The last three years had been good to her he and she didn't look like she aged a bit. The material of her black dress clung to her curves in a way that made him wish he could. He swallowed hard at the sight of her full red lips and big brown eyes. His memory didn't serve her justice. He could feel himself smiling at just the sight of her. He remembered who she had been with all that time and instantly took the smile off his face. In a moment like this, there was only one thing to say.

"Hi.."

"Hi." And just like that, they were Fitz and Liv again.

Olivia couldn't help but smile and return his greeting. She blushed a little as she checked out his body. He looked amazing in his black suit, with his wavy hair gelled to perfection. He moved to properly greet her, but they both just stood about two feet apart staring awkwardly at each other. They didn't know what should happen next, if they should shake hands or hug. Fitz made the first move, seeming not to be able to hold back any longer, and scooped her up in a big bear hug. Her arms went around his neck as his arms went around her waist. She filled her lungs for what seemed like the first time in years and just breathed him in. The smell of his cologne and his arms encasing her titillated her senses. Her heart began to beat faster in her chest as she felt him bury his face into her hair.

"I missed you," Fitz whispered in her ear.

"I missed you too," she admitted, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

With one last squeeze, he let her go. She immediately felt empty without his arms around her. He seemed to feel it too because he took her hand and led her over to the round table that was specially placed there for them. He pulled out her chair and waited for her to take her seat before sitting down himself. He took her left hand this time, needing to touch her. That's when he felt the ring. His entire demeanor changed and it looked like someone had punched him in the gut.

"You're marri…you're married?" he asked, barely able to get the words out of his mouth.

She shook her head, "Not yet, we're engaged." She couldn't even look him in the eye.

"Wow, you really showed me didn't you? Is this what this is? To show me how you felt all those years I was married to Mellie. Mission accomplished. What is the point of being here?" His voice rose with each word as he felt his anger take him over.

"Hey, look at me." She took his face in both of her hands to make sure he did. "I did not do this to punish you. I really wanted to see you and maybe it's a bit selfish, but I couldn't imagine never seeing you again."

"Do you love him? I mean I know that you chose him over me, and I know you obviously have feelings for him, but you never actually said it was love. I guess it must have been though." His question was blunt and it shocked her.

"I don't want to talk about him," she answered, wanting to avoid the subject entirely.

"So what do you hope to get out of all this?" he questioned, wanting to know her answer.

"I honestly don't know," she sighed. "But I don't want to think about that. I just want to enjoy tonight."

"So that's it? You want a one night stand with an old flame?" He was hurt that she would get his hopes up.

"You're more than that and you know it. I would like to be friends, but you've made it clear that that isn't possible so I guess tonight is it," Olivia said, searching his eyes for his denial of her statement about not wanting to be friends. There wasn't any. She knew this was it.

"To tonight," Fitz said, raising the glass full of house wine that was preset on the table.

"To tonight," she raised her glass as well, clinking it with his.

And so for the next hour, they caught up. They talked about everything and anything. Even as they laughed, the clocked ticked by and they knew the night would be over soon. They enjoyed their meal all the while avoiding the elephant in the room. Olivia told him how proud she was of him in his presidency and he admitted that he wanted to make it his best because of everything he had lost because of it. She talked about moving her firm to Boston and how she really liked the city. He was surprised that she lived out here and assured her that he hadn't known that when he picked the place.

When dessert was cleared away from the table, both of them realized that the night was coming to a close, but both were reluctant to leave. Standing up, Fitz offered her his hand to dance and Olivia immediately took it. They moved over to an open area and began to sway to a tune that only they could hear.

"Why didn't you just wait for me?" Fitz breathed, it was more rhetorical than anything but he was hoping he'd finally get an answer.

"I honestly didn't see how we could get past everything that happened. When I said there was hope, I wasn't lying, but I just…I didn't know how we could get past all the hurt." Fitz didn't respond, he just shook his head and accepted what he already knew. He decided to just enjoy the moment.

It felt so good to be wrapped up in his embrace again and so she held on tighter. Fitz buried his face against her neck and inhaled her scent. She could hear him sniffle two seconds before she felt wetness against her flesh. She was in agony to know that she was the one causing his tears. That she wasn't strong enough to wait for him. She grasped his face in both of her hands and after making eye contact, she brought his mouth down to hers.

He tasted so good. Even after all this time she couldn't get over how right his lips felt on hers. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, moaning as groped her ass. She hadn't felt like this in years. The ache that she felt for him before came back in full force and it nearly knocked her over in its intensity. She didn't know what would happen tomorrow, or a week from now, but all that she knew was that she needed him tonight.

Breaking away from the kiss and standing up on her tip toes, she whispered in his ear the only thing that she could, "Let's get out of here."

They stumbled through the door of his Four Seasons suite, their mouths fused together. It was slightly reminiscent of their first time and Olivia could feel the same hunger as she had back then. Her fingers twisted themselves in his curls as he lifted her against his body. Her heels slipped off her feet as she wound her legs around his waist. The stiff ridge of his erection pressed into her belly and Olivia shuddered with need. Fitz's hands went under to dress to grab both halves of her ass to pull her closer and it made Olivia groan.

Fitz moved them to the bed and the tumbled onto the mattress. He fell between her splayed thighs and continued to devour her mouth with his. Sitting up a little, Olivia tugged her dress above her head to reveal her midnight blue lace bra and panty set. Her garter belt was still on and it made her look even sexier. Fitz sucked in a breath and continued to stare down at her. Olivia wiggled under the scrutiny of her lovers gaze. A smile ghosted across his lips before he moved them to her neck.

Olivia's body arched high as he found her erogenous zone. He continued moving lower and lower until he reached the stiff peaks of her breasts. Unhooking the front clasp of her bra, Fitz licked his lips before tugging her turgid nipple into his mouth. She let out a keening cry, moving her hands to his head to keep him in place. Before he could get too carried away, he moved away from her. With one quick motion, he flipped her over on her stomach then pulled her up on her knees.

"Hold onto the headboard," he instructed, his voice dangerously low.

Olivia's shaky hand reached out to grasp the wood in front of her. She peaked at him over her shoulder and watched as he undressed himself. Inch by inch he revealed his body as she watched, biting her lip when his cock bounced free from his boxers. He saw her watching and took his time coming to her. It felt like an eternity before he was finally behind her, his knees pressing into the mattress and his hairy thighs brushing against the backs of her smooth ones.

He ran himself along her slit, saturating his erection in her wetness. It was driving her crazy. She was about to say something, anything, to get him to take her when she felt him at her opening. He began easing himself in, reacquainting himself with her tight walls. She had to fight the urge to push back against him, knowing that if she did that he'd pull out and start all over. This first time had to be on his terms. She was panting and ready to come by the time he was finally all the way in. And when he started to move, she had to bury her head in the pillow in order not to scream out.

Fitz was showing her what she was missing all these years, what she was giving up. He branded her his with every stroke. He wrote his name on every inch of her each time he passed over her spot. She looked back at him, the comforter between her teeth and her knuckles white with the hard grip she had on the headboard. His eyes were closed, like he was trying to lose himself in her. But she wanted- craved- that connection that only they had. She eased a hand behind her, touching his waist to get him to open his eyes. He didn't.

And that's when she realized he was trying to make this as impersonal as possible. As he was beating down her walls, he was building his own. He was doing everything he could in the moment to make sure he'd be able to walk away in the morning with his heart intact. She was so lost in her own pleasure that she hadn't even realized he was barely touching her. His hands weren't the bruising grip she was used to, instead they were placed lightly at the base of her spine. And he wasn't speaking. His mouth got filthy during sex and his voice alone had caused her orgasms on multiple occasions. But his lips were sealed. She didn't want him like this, not like she could be just anyone.

"Fitz…"she called out lightly.

She could see his eyes close even tighter, like he was trying to block her out. "Fitz…open your eyes." Finally he did, his eyes dark and stormy. "It's just me and you. No one else. Love me."

Immediately his demeanor changed. His hands went to her waist, holding her tight as he took her harder. His eyes focused in on her even as hers rolled back into her head from the sheer intensity of the pleasure. Her palms were sweaty and starting slip from the headboard. She let them fall and tried to rest her on her forearms but she was too shaky to stay upright. He noticed this and pulled out to flip her to her back. In seconds he was back in, her leg slung over his shoulder so he could get in deep.

"Fuck…" Olivia whimpered, the new position making her quiver around him.

"Say my name. Tell me who is making you feel like this," he growled, bending low to say the words right in her ear.

"Fitz…"Olivia moaned, his name the only thing in her brain.

Her jaw went slack as the rest of her muscles tightened in preparation for her oncoming orgasm. Her body had become so sensitive to his that she could barely take it. Her mouth was trying to form words, to tell him what he was doing to her, but only nonsensical gibberish was coming out. And the whole time, his mouth stayed right by her ear, groaning her name over and over. He was telling her how much he missed her, that he was going to be in her all night. When his thumb went to her clit, that was all she could take. Her back ached high in the air and she screamed as she came. Her walls clamped down on him as he jerked and came.

He collapsed to the side, breathing hard and trying to return feeling to his legs. Before he could fully recover, Olivia was straddling him. "Again," she demanded, taking his hardening cock in her hand him and guiding him to core.

It was going to be a long night.

Before Olivia even opened her eyes she knew he was gone. The warmth from his body had long since been removed from hers. She ran her hand along his side of the bed and felt that the sheets were cool. Opening her eyes, Olivia sat up and peered at the clock. It was a little after nine in the morning. She wished she could say that she was surprised that he left, but she wasn't. Right before she fell asleep, she saw something in his eyes that said he got the closure he needed and that he was done. She wished she felt the same. Looking around, Olivia saw that he left no note. Except for her memories and the soreness of her body, she could almost pretend she imagined the whole night.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she got up and walked to the bathroom. She could smell him on her skin and knew that she couldn't go home like that. She turned on the hot water, but stood outside of the shower for long minutes. She didn't want to wash away the evidence of him just yet. She wanted to pretend she could still feel his touch for a little while longer. Finally she stepped under the steamy spray and began scrubbing away their time together.

After her shower, she stood nude in front of the full length mirror to see if he had left any marks. There were none. For a second, she allowed herself to fall apart. She shed some tears before quickly brushing them away and going to get dressed. As she prepared herself to enter real life again, she thought about the moment she threw away any chance she had with Fitz.

"Are you okay, Livvie? Did they hurt you?" Fitz asked as they waited for the car to pull away from the place that had been her prison for the last two weeks.

It had almost taken going to war with West Angola before Fitz finally learned of Olivia's location. Andrew wasn't smart enough to plan out a foolproof plan, he was too sloppy. Huck, Secret Service, and a highly skilled Seal team had all been employed to find Olivia. As a backup plan and cover, Fitz had been making moves to go to war with West Angola. Olivia was Helen of Troy and he would launch a thousand, a million, a billion ships for her. He had even been ready to go public with the affair, thinking that if he did, it would take away Andrew's power. But Cyrus talked him down from that ledge and convinced him that they had to be smarter than that. It took longer than he wanted, but two weeks into the kidnapping he got confirmation on where she was at.

He insisted on being the one to go in and get her. He wanted to be the first safe face she saw after her ordeal, but Cyrus once again convinced him that he had to be smarter than that. Him leaving the White House without having a scheduled event would tip off Andrew. Instead, he compromised on meeting her on her way to the hospital to get checked out. Looking at her now, he couldn't see any visible signs of trauma. She was a lightly shaky and looked like she hadn't slept in days, but other than that, she was as beautiful as ever.

"I'm okay, Fitz. They didn't hurt me," Olivia told him, trying to remain strong.

He reached out to embrace her, but she flinched away before he could. "Livvie…?" He questioned, confused.

"We can't do this anymore, and I mean it this time," she spoke quickly before she lost her nerve.

"What are you talking about? You were just kidnapped. I'm not even thinking about us right now. I just want to make sure you're ok," Fitz said.

"I know, I just want to make it clear that after today, I don't want to be with you." She couldn't even look him in the eye.

"Did Andrew threaten you? He's no harm to you anymore. As we speak, he's being taken to super max," Fitz said, trying to comprehend.

"No, he didn't threaten me."

"So what is this about? Jake?" Fitz scoffed, moving away from her.

"Not everything is about Jake, Fitz. But yes, he has something to do with my decision. But ultimately it's us, this relationship. It's not healthy. I was just kidnapped because a psychopath knew that you were in love with me," Olivia said, turning to face him.

"I can't control…"

"Okay, and what about my parents? My mother tried to assassinate you for money and my father killed your son," Olivia pointed out.

"Olivia…"

"And that's not even including all the hurt we've caused each other," Olivia said, not letting him talk, she wouldn't be able to continue if he did. "We aren't right for each other, Fitz. It's time we face it and let it go."

He was quiet for a long while and Olivia wondered if he truly heard what she was saying. While she was stuck in the safe house that Andrew had stashed her at, she had a lot of time to think about things. What she was telling him wasn't a lie. She really felt that way. She wanted to be with him, more than anything else, but with everything between them, it was just too much. She was damaged and she felt he deserved better. He needed someone whole, someone who stand by his side and not look over their shoulder. She thought that everything wrong that happened in his life the past almost six years was associated with her and she needed to disengage from him. She also needed to save herself. Deep down she felt like she'd never be more than just his mistress and she needed to protect herself from inevitable rejection.

"If want to be with Jake, just say that. Don't try to place blame on anything else because you know damn well that I don't hold you accountable for any of it," Fitz finally spoke, his voice dangerously low. "If you chose him, just say it."

It was the only way she could get him to finally let go. "I choose him. I choose Jake."

"You don't have to worry about me contacting you ever again. I'll leave you alone. I'll have my agents call Jake and have him meet you at the hospital. I hope you are happy," Fitz said, his voice so cold that it sent shivers up her spine. "Hal, stop the car."

"But sir, we're in the middle of the highway," Hal said, his eyes meeting Fitz's in the rearview mirror.

"Fitz, you don't have to…"

"Stop the car, Hal. Now." Since they were in a motorcade anyways, Hal stopped the car and spoke into the piece in his sleeve to tell the other agents to stop their cars as well. Fitz gave instructions to take Olivia to the hospital then immediately leave afterwards once they were sure she was safe. Then, without even sparing her a glance, he got out of the car and got into the one behind them. Hal waited as Fitz's car sped past them on its way back to the White House.

Olivia watched, hoping to get a glimpse of him but the windows were completely tinted. She allowed herself the time to cry and mourn the end of their relationship. She didn't think she'd be strong enough to do it. But she felt it was necessary for his sanity and hers. She just prayed he wouldn't try to harm himself. She wasn't going to run away again and if he ever wanted to contact her, he'd be able to find her. Though she knew that he wouldn't. She wanted to tell him that after a while that she hoped they could be friends. He'd been such a big part of her life that she would never be able to fully rid herself of him. And she didn't want to. But at this point, she had no other choice.

She followed the rest of his presidency closely. She called Cyrus once a month to get updates. At first, Fitz was drinking a lot and snapping at everyone. Even Mellie had tried to contact Olivia so she could talk to him. She tried, but he refused to talk to her. And then one day, Cyrus said he just snapped out of it. Olivia jealously thought it had to do with the new press secretary they hired. But Cyrus said it wasn't that. He had an epiphany and finally let go and was in a better place. That was bittersweet for her.

Olivia dropped her keys on the table by the door. Jake's car was outside so she knew he was home. The decision to marry him had come after a final attempt to contact Fitz. Jake had proposed and she told him she needed time to think about it. Truthfully, she wanted to see if things with Fitz were truly over. She wanted him to talk her out of it. Even being the one to end it, she still thought about him every day. She missed him every second and constantly rethought her choice. She thought standing in the sun would be enough for her, that she would be fulfilled. But Vermont was still in her mind and she wanted it.

She called his burner phone and was surprised when it still rung. It rung for so long that she was about to hang up. But then a woman that wasn't Mellie answered sounding out of breath, like she just ran a marathon or had just been having sex. Olivia immediately hung up then went to Jake and agreed to marry him. They had been engaged for almost a year and Olivia hadn't even looked at dresses. It wasn't everything she pictured, mainly because she had only ever pictured herself married to Fitz. But she figured she could survive like this for the rest of her life. After all, Jake did love her and she did have feelings for him, but it wasn't the same. And he knew that.

"Jake," Olivia called. He had been away for an overnight business trip. He was helping develop a high end security system that had him pretty busy lately. Not that Olivia minded, sometimes he suffocated her with his presence.

"Hey, Liv?" Where were you?" Jake asked, coming to where she was standing by the door.

"I had a difficult case that kept me out," she lied and hoped he couldn't tell.

"Well you must be tired, why don't you go take a nap?" He suggested.

Olivia just looked at him, trying to figure out where her life ended up. Fuck it, she thought. She only had one life and she wasn't going to spend it settling. "You know what, I don't need a nap. And I wasn't handling a case last night. I was with Fitz. I can't marry you."

Three weeks later

"This is it, thanks. The agents aren't going to let you get any further than this," Olivia informed her driver.

After three long weeks, she was finally here. She would have been there sooner, but she had a few loose ends that needed to be tied up. Leaving Jake had gone smoother than she thought it would. He tried to talk her out of it in the beginning, kept mentioning the sun and their time on the island. She told him as gently as she could that he was second until she finally had to spell it out for him. She was in love with another man, plain and simple.

But here she was, in Vermont, at the end of the driveway of the house that once belonged to her. Fitz did an "After the Presidency," special on ABC a few weeks ago and showed the public inside his, their, home. She thought that he had sold it, but seeing him living the house gave a new wave of hope. She watched, her eyes glued to the TV as the cameras followed him around the beautiful dwelling. When asked why he chose Vermont instead of returning to California, he said that Vermont was where his heart was and he couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

Standing the iron gates, Olivia pressed the buzzer and watched as an image come on the camera screen. It was Hal.

"Ms. Pope, how may I assist you?" Hal buzzed through.

"I'd like to see Fitz," she said, trying to keep 'obviously' from slipping out.

"Just a second while I see if he's accepting visitors."

The cold wind picked up around her and Olivia pulled her coat in tighter around her. The clouds were out and blocking the sun and it looked like it was going to snow soon. The forecast did call for a few inches, but she wasn't concerned. She thought it was a little late in the season for snow, but the northeast was known for that. The only thing on her mind was Fitz. But now as the snow began to fall, she wondered what she was going to do if he didn't let her come in. The cell service out here was spotty at best and her driver was long gone. She couldn't remember seeing a hotel or inn along the away. She knew that he wouldn't be that spiteful, but on the off chance that he was, she wasn't prepared with a plan B.

Before she could think on it too long, she saw someone approaching on a golf cart. As it got closer, she saw it was Hal. Olivia had to stop herself from giggling at the image. Here was one of the top trained men in the country driving a golf cart like a retired old man in Florida. When he was near enough, he pressed a button to open the heavy iron gates. Olivia stepped back so she wouldn't get hit and when there was enough space, she walked through them and to Hal. She climbed onto the golf cart while Hal got off to get her bags. When everything was secure, he got back on and turned them towards the house.

"I didn't think you'd stay on with Fitz," Olivia remarked. "I figured you'd want to be with Mellie."

"I go where I'm requested, ma'am," Hal replied, stone faced.

Olivia didn't ask any more questions, she was too busy taking in the property. The cobblestone pathway was lined with tall trees that created an arch of bare branches. She knew that it was just majestic in the fall and couldn't want to see them covered in snow the next morning. There was plenty of land and she even saw a few animals scurrying about. After about three minutes of riding, the house came into view. She had only seen it from the back, so she was caught off guard by how beautiful it was. It's stone and wood exterior reminded her of the villa in Tuscany that she stayed in one vacation. She had told Fitz was it was one of the only times in her life that she truly felt peaceful. She was surprised he remembered and designed their house after it. There was a wraparound porch, another thing she had mentioned wanting in a house. All the lights were on and it gave the house an ethereal glow. Hal pulled up to the three car garage and got out to help Olivia with her bags.

"Good luck," he smirked, as he left her to get back in the golf cart, likely to do rounds then got to his house somewhere on the property.

Olivia walked up the mahogany steps that led to the extensive porch. There was a long swing hanging on one end, the cushion a deep red that matched her favorite wine. There were also chairs and a small table on the other end so they could sit and have their morning coffee. There were huge wooden double doors with elaborate stain glass on either side of them. Above the doors was more glass and in black letters painted into the glass read THE GRANTS. Every little detail had been thought with her in mind and it hurt her heart that she had almost missed it.

Trying the knob, she found it was open. Immediately she was enveloped in warmth. There was soft music playing in the background and the smell of food in the air. To the left of her was an office and to the right was another office, she assumed one of them was for her. She walked down the short hall where the house opened up to the area she was in once before. Except this time all the furniture was uncovered. Fitz had made choices that were both strong and masculine and soft and feminine, a perfect combo of the two of them.

She could see Fitz cooking in kitchen, wearing a pair of black pajama pants, a white long sleeved shirt, and a pair of gray socks. He looked so comfortable that it made her want to change and join him. She knew that he knew she was there, could tell in the way his body shifted as he became aware she was in the room. She didn't want to break the moment yet and instead allowed herself to think about how this could be them every day.

"Had I known you were coming, I would've made more. But luckily I made a lot so dinner will be ready soon," Fitz said, not turning to face her.

Olivia didn't respond, just moved further into the kitchen. She took her coat off and hung it up on the hooks on the wall that housed his coat. She slipped off her boots and neatly lined them up next to his. "I'm going to freshen up," she told him, wanting to wash the day away.

"The bathroom is…"

"I'll find it," she told him, wanting to get lost in her own house.

"Ok, you can take your bag too, then. There is a big snow storm coming in so you can stay here for the night. All of the guest rooms are downstairs, choose whichever one you want."

For the night…guest room, she hadn't planned on staying just for the night or staying in a guest room. She wasn't a guest and she wanted to see what their room looked like, what it felt like to sleep in a bed that had been specially made to cradle the two of them. But she felt that perhaps she had to work up to that. She walked down the hall that was lit with wall lamps, opening doors along the way. At the end of the hall there was a door that led out onto the porch, she decided to take the last room on the hall, figuring she'd have a view of both the side and back of the property. Opening the door, she was blown away in the décor.

The walls were painted with a light gray, there was a fireplace and two chairs on one side. The bed was in the center of the room, the headboard crafted out of pieces of refurbished wood and going all the way up to the ceiling. She peaked into the walk-in closet and then the bathroom, the materials used making it look like a luxurious spa. She was right about the views. There was a big bay window that looked out onto the backyard. From what she could see in the waning sunlight and the heavy snowfall, there was a pool and outdoor kitchen. There were also French doors that led onto the side of the porch and there were comfortable chairs and a small table out there as well. If he put that much effort into a guest room, she couldn't imagine what their bedroom looked like.

Olivia quickly unpacked her bags and slipped into the shower. There were already products in there for her to use and she was tempted to stay under the warm spray of the water for longer than needed. She wanted to get her thoughts together and also wanted to give Fitz a chance to get his together as well. But she didn't want him to think she was hiding so she finished up, got out, and got dressed. She threw her damp hair up in a top bun, and keeping with his causal theme, put on a pair of black leggings and a long sleeved Grant campaign shirt. She took a few calming breaths before leaving the room.

When she got back to the kitchen, Fitz had just finished putting the plates on the small table off the side of the kitchen. She figured there was a more formal dining area somewhere, but since it was just the two of them, knew it was impractical to eat there. She sat down across from him and drew one leg under the other. Fitz had cooked a simple meal of chicken pasta and had poured glasses of red wine for them. There was a long length of silence in which Olivia barely ate her food. Not because she didn't think it looked good, but because she was too nervous to eat.

"If you don't want this, I have plenty of popcorn on hand. Karen loves the stuff and her and Teddy just left from visiting me," Fitz said, digging into his food.

"No, this is fine. It's just…I'm a little nervous," she admitted quietly. At his quirked eyebrow, she amended, "ok, I'm really nervous."

"I make you nervous? That's odd, we're usually pretty comfortable around each other. I guess that's to be expected though," he said with a shrug of his shoulders, still not looking directly at her.

"I'm not uncomfortable. Just nervous. I don't know what you're thinking or how you're feeling. I've never had that problem. I don't want to say the wrong thing…"Olivia fidgeted, trying to get her thoughts out.

Finally he made eye contact, not that it helped. He was a brick wall, a blank slate, inaccessible. "Why are you here, Olivia? You're engaged, you're supposed to be standing in the sun. You're supposed to be living a normal life with Jake and forgetting all about me. Why are you here?"

"I left Jake. Gave him back his ring, I mean. I didn't want it to begin with. I don't want the sun. I don't want normal. I want Vermont and jam and kids and you. I want you."

She didn't know what to expect him to say, but his reaction wasn't one that came to mind. He was laughing. Not like a little chuckle or giggle. He was full bellied laughing, tears of mirth streaming down his cheeks. She began to feel self-conscious and stupid for even opening her mouth.

"I'm sorry," Fitz breathed between guffaws, "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the situation." That didn't make her feel any better.

"I don't really see what's funny," Olivia said between gritted teeth.

"How many times have we been here? How many times have you said that and then turned around the very next day and ran? I think it's funny because I learned not to believe you anymore. Hearing you say that just cracks me up because I know you don't mean it. We're going to what…have sex tonight and you'll come up with a reason to leave tomorrow? Maybe your gladiators need you, maybe Jake called and said he missed you, or maybe you'll be honest this time and tell me that you don't really want this."

"Fitz…how…how could you say that to me?" Olivia asked, her lip quivering and her eyebrows clenched together.

"Because that's what happens, it's what you do. Every. Single. Time. My favorite time was when you told me you loved me then left with another man right after my son died. Classic," Fitz said, laughing and shaking his head at the end. "I should've seen it coming, yet I never do. I was blind. Not this time though. I see you, Olivia."

"You seem to forget why I left. You were the president", Olivia declared.

"You were scared."

"You were married," she challenged back.

"And you did everything you could to keep it that way," Fitz quipped immediately and she knew that he had been waiting to tell her everything he had just said.

"You act like I didn't love you, like I don't still love you. And you know that I do," Olivia said, trying to get through to him.

"So was that your plan? Be with Jake until I was out of office and divorced from Mellie?" She didn't answer but he didn't need her to. "And what about me in the meantime? Hell, what about Jake who thought he was getting a wife?"

"I chose what was best for me. So much of my life had been dedicated to making other people happy. My father, you, my friends, Jake," she listed. "I chose me for once," Olivia told him.

"And that choice led you to Jake. You know what they say, your first choice is often the best," Fitz said, pushing his plate aside and propping his elbows up on the table.

"And they were right, because my first choice is you. Always you. Jake was second. You know that. I couldn't have you, you were untouchable. I didn't want to be alone, I can admit that. The sex was good," he grimaced and turned his head away at that but she continued, "and he loved me. So yes, I chose me and I chose him. But I knew it wasn't going to be permanent. I knew that long before I agreed to marry him and long before I called you a month ago. Because you are first."

"And you couldn't just say this because why?"

"You wouldn't give me the chance. You got out of the car in the middle of the highway. And what I was I supposed to say? I love you and I want to be with you, but only when you're out of the White House? Oh and btw, I'm going to be with Jake for the time being, but wait for me anyways? Would you have accepted that?" Olivia asked, indignation in her voice.

"Yes!" Fitz yelled, slamming his hand on the table. "And do you know why? Because that's exactly what I was asking you do all those years. Because I was so in love with you that I would've done anything you asked of me so long as I knew we were endgame."

"Was in love? You don't love me anymore?" Olivia didn't doubt that he would've waited for her so that became a moot point. But hearing him say he was in love with her struck a chord.

"I still love you, but not in the same way," Fitz answered, leaving Olivia shocked.

"What does that mean?" Olivia questioned, sitting up straighter in anticipation for his response.

"It means that I am no longer controlled by you, my life no longer revolves around you. It means that if you leave me again, I know for a fact I can survive. It means that I am capable of being with and having feelings for someone else. I don't love you the same," Fitz answered straight up.

She never thought he'd say that. If she had to bet on anything it would be Fitz's love for her. He showed it again and again. It was almost a blind devotion, some would call it an obsession, but she knew better. He was whole heartedly in love with her; mind, body and soul and she ruined it.

"You don't love me the same either, or maybe you do. I don't know," Fitz continued. "You know that you can be without me, that you can love someone else. You get what you give and I think it's time our relationship becomes even in what we feel for each other. If that even matters now."

"Is there hope? That's all I need to know from you right now. Is there hope that we can be together? That we can have all of this." Olivia swept her hands around her to clarify what this was.

"Maybe, but I don't want to play games anymore. And I don't want to get my hopes up anymore. If you even think for one second that you're going to leave, then you need to go now," Fitz said, standing up and gathering his plate.

"I'm not going to leave. What's the point? I'm done fighting this and I'm fighting you. I know what I want and it's you."

"I'm tired and I'm sure you are too. Get some sleep and we'll see what happens tomorrow." Fitz said, leaving her sitting there by herself.

The next morning found Olivia in the same predicament she was in the last two years. She wasn't able to get more than a few hours of sleep, her mind too busy micro-analyzing everything Fitz had said. She had tossed and turned and when she finally was able to fall asleep, was plagued by nightmares of losing him. Finally, around eight in the morning, she decided to get up and start her day. She looked out the window to see that the property had been blanketed with about two feet of snow.

Going to the bathroom, she went through her morning ritual then got dressed in warm clothes. She put on her coat then went to the kitchen to retrieve her boots. She went past the living area to the huge glass sliding doors that led to the backyard and opened them. She stepped outside, instantly feeling freezing but breathing in the cold air nonetheless. She looked out onto the property for Fitz, awed at its vastness. Way off in the distance she could see a barn that would likely hold the horses Fitz had always talked about owning. She wondered if he was out there but hadn't seen any tracks in the snow. Still looking for him, she followed the porch around to the front of the house. As she rounded the corner, she could see him in the front with a shovel, clearing the steps and trying to forge a path to the driveway. She watched him for a few moments, marveling at his body as he moved heaps of heavy snow.

A smirk came across her face as she thought of an idea. Biting her lip to contain her giggles, she scooped some snow from the railing and formed a ball in her mitten covered hands. She packed it in tight, then moved in a little closer, as quiet as she could, and aimed for his back. She wound her arm back and let it fly forward, the snowball sailing through the air and landing square in the middle of his back. She burst with laughter as Fitz reacted, dropping the shovel and turning towards her.

She look on his face said she was in trouble as he bent and started forming his ammunition. Yelling mercy, she hopped over the railing and landed softly into the snow below. She started running from him, trying to gather snow along the way to fight him back. She felt the first hit to her back and she turned to see he was trailing behind her, his arm filled with balls. She stopped for a second, gathering bits of snow and throwing them at him as fast as she could. She mainly missed but a few hit him, one right in the face that had him disoriented for a second. That didn't stop him though and he was gaining on her. It was hard to run with snow nearly knee deep, but she managed to stay away.

"Give up now, Livvie, or face my wrath," Fitz yelled from behind her and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Never!" She yelled back, turning and tossing balls at him.

He was getting ever closer and she ran to hide behind a tree. Quickly he was on the other side and they did a back and forth for a few seconds before she faked left and made a run for it. But she wasn't quick enough and he caught her, lifting her high in the air and spinning them around.

"I am the champion my frieeeend," he started singing off key as Olivia squealed in his arms. "Say I'm the man or I'll shove snow down your pants," he threatened, his eyes squinted as he tried to appear dangerous. She might have fell for it if he was smiling so hard.

"Nope," Olivia said, popping the 'p' at the end.

"Say it," Fitz egged on, leaning down as best he could with her in his arms and scooping up snow.

"Mm mm," she sounded, shaking her head and 'zipping' her lips with her finger.

"So you want to take the hard road, eh?" Fitz asked, quirking his eyebrow. "Okay."

He let her down on her feet, but kept a hold on her arm and proceeded to shove snow down her pants. "You're the man! Okay, okay, you're the man!" Olivia said, trying to shake the snow out only to have it fall to her boots.

Fitz threw his hands up in the air and hopped around like he was Rocky, basking in his victory.

"Stop all that hopping. I don't want you to break a hip, old man," Olivia joked, going to him and pressing up close. "You're going to have to carry me inside, you know. I can't stand to walk in wet socks."

"After you called me an old man? I can't hop, but I can carry you? Aren't you afraid I'll throw my back out?" He joked, but bent down and scooped her up anyways.

"Not at all. Now onward to the house," she said, pointing her finger towards their home.

Once they were in the warm domain, Olivia immediately started stripping down. She took her boots and pants off and cast them aside, then pulled off her wet leggings. Fitz watched, entranced in each bit of skin she revealed. He had to shove his hands in his pockets in order not to touch. Trying to break the spell, he asked, "So when are you leaving?"

Olivia stopped and stood upright. "Are we already back to that? I thought we were making progress?"

There was a look of regret in his eyes and she couldn't tell if it was for his statement or for letting his guard down just minutes earlier. Probably both. He sighed and responded, "Would you like some tea or hot chocolate? And maybe some soup for lunch."

She tried to hide her smile but failed miserably. "Hot chocolate, soup, oh and maybe a panini sounds amazing for lunch," she said, turning away from him and sauntering towards her room so she could get dressed.

"I said nothing about a panini," Fitz teased as he followed behind.

When she came back out, they made lunch together, moving around the kitchen in sync. She teased Fitz about the fact that he had a panini press and he made an excuse about Karen being obsessed with the ones from Panera and wanting to make her own. They made chicken noodle soup, or rather heated up some Progresso, as the milk boiled for the hot chocolate. When it was almost done, Olivia began searching the cabinets for plates but Fitz stopped her.

"Do you want to see something amazing?" Fitz asked, a glint in his eyes.

"Absolutely," Olivia replied almost instantly.

Fitz packed the lunch into tupperware containers and put the cocoa into thermoses. He disappeared for a few seconds before coming back with a medium sized, insulted lunch box to put the food in. Grabbing her hand, he led her through the house until they reached the laundry room. There was a door that led to the garage from there and they entered into the cold space.

"We're having lunch in the garage?" Olivia asked, a little underwhelmed.

Fitz just laughed and continued to tug her along. In the back of the main garage was another smaller room that housed their snow toys. Olivia's mood instantly lifted as she saw what he meant. The walls were lined with skis and snow boards, but that's not why she was excited, in the middle of the room were two brand new snowmobiles. The all black beauties looked like they were made for speed and she couldn't wait to climb on.

"Do you think you could handle your own, or do you want to ride on the back of mine?" Fitz quipped, a smirk on his face.

She did even answer him, just went and stood by the one she wanted to ride. Fitz chuckled, but put the food in the small luggage box and went to open the wide doors that opened up to the back of the property. He hauled his mobile out first, then hers, then went back to grab the keys and a pair of helmets and goggles. He gave her a quick rundown on how to properly use the vehicles and then they were off, zooming through the snow. Olivia followed behind, itching to race him but staying where she was since he was taking her someplace special.

They rode for about five minutes before they reached a clearing and a decent sized pond. He was right, it was amazing. It was frosted over with ice and snow, the large oak tree that leaned over it was caked with snow and icicles. There was dock in the middle of the pond and she knew that in the summer time, it was the perfect place for swimming. Alongside the pond was a gazebo and they parked their snowmobiles next to it. Fitz helped her off hers then took her hand and led her to the structure. It was made out of the same stone and wood as the house, was lined with padded benches, and was big enough that there was a fire pit in the middle. Fitz swept his gloved hand across the bench to clear a space from Olivia then took a lighter out of his pocket and lit the gas fire pit. He quickly hurried out to grab their lunch then came back and sat next to Olivia. She curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder and his arms outstretched on either side of him.

"This is nice," she mentioned after taking a few sips from her thermos.

"It really is. Very peaceful. I toured seven properties before I found this one. The land was untouched, like it was sitting and waiting for us. I wanted to preserve as much of it was possible and used a lot of ecofriendly and recycled material when building it. And you should see it in the summer time, Liv. Grass so lush and green that you won't ever want to put shoes on," Fitz said, pride in his voice as he talked about their home.

"I can't wait. And I can't wait to swim in the pond. Oh, and don't think I didn't see the four wheelers in the corner of the garage. As soon as the spring comes, we will be muddy racing on them," She promised.

"The great fixer, Olivia Pope, willing to get all muddy. Who would've thunk it," Fitz teased, his voice full of sarcasm.

"Keep talking, buddy boy. Just know we are racing back on those snowmobiles and I will be kicking your ass," Olivia challenged.

"Oh yeah, wanna bet?" Fitz challenged, looking down at her.

"In fact I do. If I win, I want a real chance," she said, suddenly turning serious.

"And if I win?" Fitz asked.

"And if you win, which you won't, you get to choose the name of our first born," Olivia simpered.

"Game on, Ms. Pope," Fitz said, sticking his hand out to shake. He didn't miss the fact that regardless of who won, he would have to give their relationship a real go.

Olivia grabbed his hand and pulled him down to her, her mouth connecting with his before he could pull away. She nipped at his bottom lip and when he opened, she pushed her tongue into his mouth. He grabbed her thigh and slung it over his, Olivia moving to fully sit on his lap. She snatched off mittens and unzipped his jacket so she could worm her hands under his layers of clothes. She rested her hands on abs as he moved his now gloveless fingers to her waist. She was winding her hips in his lap, her aching core pressed against the ridge of his erection.

"We shouldn't," Fitz groaned as he broke their kiss, even as he ran his tongue along the side of her neck.

"Please," Olivia whimpered, moving her hands lower and pressed them into his bulge.

"Liv…"

"I need you," she moaned, unzipping his pants and seeking his cock.

He didn't say anything after that, just moved his mouth back to hers. It was cold out and it would take too much for her to take off her boots and pants so that he could be inside of her. Instead, he plunged his hand into her soaked panties and found her heat. He found her slick clit with his thumb as his other fingers tunneled their way into her channel. She bit down on his lip and cursed into his mouth as he curled his fingers upwards and found her spot. Her hand wrapped tighter around his length, her thumb rubbing the tip and spreading around his essence. Fitz pumped his hips into her twisting fist as they worked in tandem to get each other off.

"You're driving me crazy," she whispered into his ear, biting the lobe then flicking her tongue against it.

"Are you close," he asked, his voice so deep that it sent shivers down her spine. "I can feel you, so damn tight around my fingers. And so wet for me…"

"Only you," she moaned, riding his fingers as his thumb went round and round on her clit.

She picked up her speed and he let out a deep groan. He was so hot in her palm, he was making her so hot with what he was doing to her, that she forgot it was freezing outside. She tossed her head back as her toes began to curl in her boots. She groaned his name over and over even as her breathing shortened to quick puffs of air. She could feel him twitching beneath her and his cock was so hard in her hand that she knew he was going to come any second. She didn't know who finished first, if she filled his cupped palm with her lust or if he spurt all over her fist first. All she could register was him grounding out her name through grit teeth as she screamed his. When her orgasm finally released her, she tipped her head back up and looked at him with satisfaction in her gleam.

She watched through hooded eyes as he took his fingers drenched in her essence and sucked them dry. She leaned in kissed him, tasting herself on his tongue as she did. She sucked at his lips, trying to get every last drop before pulling away. They were a mess, both of their hands sticky and his lap soaked with the evidence of what just happened. She gingerly let herself up and got some napkins from the lunchbox to clean them up with. She wiped her hands and her intimate parts before doing the same with Fitz. With their clothes back in place, they gathered the remainders of their lunch and headed towards the mobiles.

"Get ready to eat my dust, Grant," Olivia said, starting hers up.

"Whatever ever you say, Pope," Fitz said, putting on his helmet and googles. "On your mark, get set, go…" he yelled and they were off.

For a good portion of the race, Olivia was in the lead. They flew through the snow, dodging trees and rounding curves. The house came in sight and Olivia could almost taste her victory. But then out of nowhere, Fitz sped past her and sailed past the invisible finish and into the victory lane. Olivia pulled up beside him in full pout as she took off her helmet and googles. She climbed off her machine and walked towards Fitz who had a gloating grin on his face.

She softly hit him on the chest and exclaimed, "You cheated. There was no way you should've won. Does yours have a turbo setting or something?" She asked, peering around him to see if his vehicle was any different than hers. It wasn't.

"I did not cheat. I am simply a better driver than you. It takes skill to be this great, Olivia. You're either born with it or you're not," Fitz said, a pompous tone to his voice as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever," Olivia huffed, "I demand a rematch tomorrow."

"As you wish, madam, but just know the results will be the same," Fitz bragged lightheartedly as he took her hand.

As they walked towards the house, Fitz started to revel in his victory. "You know what? I think Agnes would be a wonderful name for our daughter. Or perhaps Gertrude."

"Fitzgerald Thomas Grant, you are not naming my baby Agnes!" Olivia shrieked.

"No? How about Agatha? Oo, I got it. Bertha Matilda Grant. It has a ring to it, huh? And if it's a boy, how about Butch Pitbull Grant? Or even better, Spike Paingiver Grant," He said with as much seriousness as he could muster.

"Hmm…is Paingiver one word or two?" Olivia asked, feigning intrigue.

"One," Fitz responded.

"Oh, well in that case…hell fucking no," Olivia scowled as Fitz howled with laughter.

"We could always hyphenate…"

Later that night at dinner, Fitz felt it was time for them to address some serious issues. The rest of the day had gone by smoothly. They showered and napped then watched a couple of movies until they grew hungry. They cooked dinner together, the conversation on inconsequential things. But they both knew that they had to figure a few things out and it loomed heavy in the air. They knew that they wanted to be together, but needed to figure out a way to make it work. For the most part, love wasn't the issue. Trust was. It was frayed on both ends and they had to rebuild it or they wouldn't last.

"We have to talk," Fitz started, setting his fork down.

"I know," Olivia sighed, dreading the conversation ahead.

"I don't think you understand how much you hurt me each time you left," Fitz began, surprising even himself with his confession. "I know that our situation was difficult, but I thought I meant more to you than that."

"Leaving you was never an easy decision. Never. I struggled with our relationship and my feelings for you from the moment we met. You were married and running for president and I was in love with you. I had never felt that before in my entire and it was terrifying. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay away. Me leaving all those times was my attempt at saving us both. I knew that we would consume each other if I didn't," she spoke, trying to verbalize her scattered thoughts.

"I don't understand what was so frightening for you, though. I repeatedly told you that I would give it all up for you. We could've had this years ago," Fitz said, feeling himself getting frustrated.

"And that's what was so scary. No one had ever put me first before. Not my father, not my mother, not any past relationships. And there you were, offering this broken girl what she needed most in her life and I couldn't receive it. I think that's why I connected with Jake. He was as damaged as me and by the same person. He couldn't fix me, he couldn't heal me. He didn't have the tools and wouldn't know how to even if he did. He was just a Band-Aid covering the real problem. But you, it's like you had a manual or something. It's like you had instructions to Olivia Pope and you knew where all my buttons were and knew how all of my pieces fit. And the ones I was missing, you had and you could put me back together. I had never been whole before and you were offering to put me together and I was scared. So I ran, again and again," Olivia confessed, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders.

"So why now? Why after all that's happened are you choosing me?" Fitz questioned, needing to know.

"Because I want to know what it's like to be unconditionally, irrevocably, blissfully happy. And I know for fact that you are the only one that can make me feel like that. And I want to make you feel like that too. I want us to have the life we dreamed about, and we couldn't have that before, not with you in the White House and married. And as much as you deny it, I know you would've resented me if I made you give it up for me."

"I think I was made for you," Fitz stated simply. "I think that's what the worst part of this was. I could see our future, our lives together, so clearly and it was foggy for you. I have only ever loved you, I will only ever love you. I knew that the second I saw you and I was ready then. I could give a damn about anything else. You questioned us at every turn. And I made my mistakes, too, in the way I handled Defiance, in the way I treated you at times. I have to take my blame. It was not all you. I should've left regardless of everything and showed you that you were first. I'm sorry for not doing that."

"What are you saying? What now?" Olivia asked, hope rising in her chest.

"I'm saying that I was broken too. Even at my age, I was still a scared little boy trying to make his father proud. But you saw me in a way that no one else ever had and it changed my entire life. I'm saying that I am yours. I'm saying that I want us to try with everything we have in us to make it work. I will not go back to being that broken little boy and you will not go back to being that broken little girl. We hold the pieces to each other and together is the only way we can be whole"

"What about what you were saying yesterday about not loving me the same?" Olivia asked, his words not matching.

"Part of it was me trying to scare you off. I wanted to push you away before I got invested again. But I was right. I don't love you the same. It's different. It's more mature, more seasoned. I can't explain it. I'm in a better place and I'm able to be more for you."

She just stared at him for long seconds, marveling at what she felt for him. "Dear God, I am so in love with you," she breathed.

Fitz was stunned into silence and didn't respond. She had never said it like that before, breathy and desperate. "We need to take things slow. Get to know each other again," Fitz said.

"Does that mean I have to stay in the guest room?" Olivia asked, aching to move her stuff into their bedroom.

"For now, I think that's safest."

"So I'm assuming that means no sex? Is that even possible?"

"We've gone without for a lot longer," Fitz pointed out.

"Yes, but we weren't confined in our dream home and unattached to anyone else during those times," Olivia responded.

"It'll be easier than you think…"

Two Months Later

"Nothing to say, Grant?" Olivia gloated as she took off her muddy boots.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have horrible sportsmanship?" Fitz grumbled, taking off his boots as well.

"In fact, people have. But it's usually coming from the people I beat so I don't really listen." She had just whooped his butt in their four wheeler race, and in the rain no-less. Her rubber Hunter boots were filthy and her jeans would likely never be stain free again, but it had been exhilarating.

"Whatever, Pope. I think you're forgetting who won all those snowmobile races and board games," Fitz reminded.

"You only won five times max. The rest either me or Karen won," Olivia recalled.

"Only because I let you," Fitz huffed.

The last two months had been complete bliss. They grew close and rediscovered each other. Since neither of them were working full time, they spent their days exploring. They went into town multiple times a week, Olivia loving to buy little knick knacks at the mom and pop shops. They took road trips to Canada and Maine just because. After the first month, they went back to Boston to get the rest of Olivia's things. Jake had put them in storage so there was no issue there. When the kids arrived for their spring break, Olivia had been extremely nervous. Karen was a moody teenager and Teddy was a precocious six year old. But she had worried for nothing. Teddy immediately liked her, and while it took Karen a couple of days to warm up, by the end of their two week stay, she and Olivia had become friends.

They still weren't having sex and it was torture on both of them. They tried to keep busy but it was becoming increasingly harder. Olivia had implemented a ten second kiss rule because any longer and she would've been ripping his clothes off. She recently moved into their bedroom, telling Fitz that she felt like his roommate rather than his partner by sleeping downstairs. He agreed, but sometimes it was difficult to sleep in the same bed with him and not touch. They both had to admit it was refreshing relearning each other without the haze of sex to cloud things. But damn, she was horny. Hence the race and the bet.

"Either way, you're going to have to pay up. You, sir, owe me a shower," Olivia said, anticipation running high. She was hoping that today was the day they advance their relationship because she honestly didn't think she could handle another day.

They made their way up to their bedroom, shedding muddy clothes along the way. In the bathroom, Fitz started the shower as Olivia put her hair up in a bun. Once the temperature of the water was fine, they climbed in together. Above the shower was a stained glass sky light that was so beautiful it made her sigh. She was staring up at it when she felt Fitz running the loofa along her back. She leaned into him, enjoying the heat of the water and his body. This was the first time they had been naked in front of each other in months and it didn't go unnoticed by either of them. He ran his hand up her rib cage and she nearly fell to her knees when he grazed her nipple. She braced an arm in front her when he moved the loofa to between her legs, the feelings so intense that it zinged her fingertips. The steam billowed around them as he touched her. He was almost innocent in his ministrations, but the need was ever present.

When he was done washing her, she grabbed his loofa and did the same to him. She brushed lazy, open mouth kisses along his shoulder blades. Her mouth went dry as she washed down his front, her body so ready for him that she nearly bent over. Instead, she raised up on her tip toes and kissed him, ten second rule be damned. Fitz picked up her up and pressed her into the shower tiles. Olivia wound her legs around his waist, grinding her bare center along the ridge of his shaft. She could feel herself coming undone and was so close to reaching down and guiding him in when he stopped.

"What? Why did you stop?" Olivia asked, completely confused.

"My phone is ringing," He told her, setting her down. She hadn't even heard it until now.

"Ignore it," she said, reaching for his hand to pull him back into the mood.

"I can't. I'm expecting a call from Karen about the next time they'll be coming to visit," Fitz answered, stepping out of the shower.

Olivia decided to stay, trying hard not to be pissed. They both knew that he could've called her back when they were done. He was using it as an excuse and she wasn't sure why he was still holding back. They were in a good, hell, a great place now. They were open and honest with each other and perhaps more in love than they ever been. She could tell that he missed their physical relation. She could feel him watching her, could taste his need when she kissed him. Yet he was holding back and it was irking her. She remembered one particular instance not too long ago the beginning that she thought she had finally broken him.

Olivia was sitting in the library upstairs, curled in a comfy chair with a book in her hands. Fitz had to leave for the morning and part of the afternoon to give a speech and she decided to stay behind. They still hadn't announced they were dating and it was a little awkward for her to accompany him. She didn't want to be in the media just yet and wanted to make sure they were on solid ground before saying anything. Though they had been out and about together, it was nothing public and they able to remain fairly low key. There was going to be press at this event and she wasn't ready for it. Fitz was annoyed by that. He thought she was hiding or that she was having second thoughts. She hadn't, but he wasn't understanding. He had left in a huff and she hadn't heard from him all day. She wanted to give him space to cool down, but also desperately wanted to talk to him. She checked her watch and saw it was nearing three in the afternoon. She knew the event was over and was wondering how long it would be before he was home.

As if she had summoned him, she could hear his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. She was a little nervous about his mood and hoped that he was better than when he left. He soon appeared in the doorway of library, one hand behind his back.

"How'd your event go?" Olivia asked, putting her book down.

"It went well, I missed you though," He didn't say it with any undertones and she figured he genuinely missed her presence and was no longer angry. "I got you these on the way home to apologize for how I acted this morning," he said, revealing a bouquet of purple orchids.

"Thank you. And there is no need to apologize. You're right, I should be more open about us."

"I'm happy you said that because tonight I'd love nothing more than to take you out on a proper date," Fitz said, putting on her favorite smile.

"And I'd love nothing more than for you to take me out," Olivia agreed, excited to be with him.

"Good, but we don't have a lot of time. So hurry up and get dressed. Casual clothes work," Fitz told her then proceeded to leave to get dressed himself.

They were both dressed, Olivia opting for a long sleeved dress and light jean jacket. She paired it with flat canvas shoes and small jewelry pieces. Fitz chose a sweater and slacks combo and paired it with some semi-dress shoes that she had bought him. They had to drive almost an hour to their destination, Fitz keeping mum the entire time. They had opted to drive themselves in his Audi, Hal trailing behind to keep watch. Even as they neared their destination, Olivia still had no clue what they were going to do. It wasn't until they pulled into the open field and she saw a deflated hot air balloon that she knew what they were doing.

She had never been in one before and was more than excited to see Vermont from an aerial view. The crew members came up and introduced themselves and explained a few things. They got the balloon ready and next thing Olivia knew, they were climbing in the basket and were being lifted up. Fitz had opted for the more expensive tour that included dinner and champagne. They flew over the lake, near mountains, and over open pastures. The setting sun was the perfect backdrop and Olivia was in awe of the beauty of the state she got to call home. At one point she even swore she saw their home.

"I'm happy you're enjoying yourself," Fitz said as he stood behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"You come up with the best things for us to do," Olivia said, impressed by his creativity.

"I just want to be the one to show you new things."

Their tour lasted for about an hour before they landed in a clearing that was a ways away from their original take off point. Hal wasn't going to be too happy about that, but they could care less. As they waited for their car to come pick them up, Olivia and Fitz walked off to explore a little bit. They stayed close as they went into a wooded area, but were far enough away from others that they couldn't be seen or heard. Olivia took the opportunity to properly thank Fitz for the date. She leaned against a tree and pulled him against her, his mouth colliding with hers easily.

"I want you," she moaned, trying to hike up her dress.

"How bad?" Fitz grunted, his fingers slowly making his way up her thighs.

"So bad…you have me close to begging," Olivia whimpered, twisting one leg around his waist.

She licked his neck and moved her hands to his belt buckle. Sweet relief was so close and she was so desperate to have him that she didn't care they could be easily discovered. Any way he wanted her, bent over, on the ground, wedged between him and the tree, anyway, she was willing. In between hot kisses, she told him how she dreamt about him, how she would touch herself thinking of him. This time apart sexually was driving her crazy and she was hoping, no praying, that he would finally take her.

Before she could get his pants down, he pushed her hands away and stepped back. She looked at him, completely confused, but then heard the balloon people calling for them. Apparently their ride had come. It was the only thing that had come. And that was the day Olivia cracked down on the ten second kissing rule.

Thinking about how close they were only served to make Olivia more turned on and she tried to shake the memory. Hours later in bed, Olivia lay awake unable to fall asleep. Fitz didn't seem to have that issue as slept away, completely unaware of Olivia's increasing aggravation. She huffed and shifted, rearranging her pillow in an attempt to get comfortable. She sucked her teeth and flipped over again, rolling her eyes at the fact that Fitz seemed so unaffected. She had never been this sexually frustrated before and it was making her extremely moody. Once again, she sighed loudly and flopped her hands down onto the comforter.

"Is there a problem, Olivia?" Fitz asked, startling her. She thought he was asleep.

"No, just go back to sleep," she lied with a little more attitude than she intended.

Fitz sat up and looked at her in the dark. He just stared at her until something clicked. "I know what you need."

Olivia was two seconds away from telling him exactly what she needed when he disappeared under the covers. The next thing she knew, he was tugging off her pajama bottoms and panties and slinging her legs over his shoulders. Olivia would've expressed her triumph if she hadn't suddenly been screaming. Fitz wasted no time with preliminaries. He licked straight up her slit and sucked her throbbing clit into his mouth. Her heels dug into his shoulder blades as her nails ripped into the sheets. Her spine stiffened then curved as he continued to eat her. He was pulling out all the stops, his tongue working her in ways she hadn't experienced before.

"Oh fuck, Fitz…" Olivia groaned, tilting her hips up trying to get further into his mouth.

His tongue found its way inside her, going as deep as possible as he stretched his arm up to tug on her stiff nipple. His other hand stayed at her hip, trying to steady her movements so he could get his fill. Her cries were bouncing off the wall as he continued on through one orgasm after the next. Only when her voice was hoarse and he felt that she could take no more did he stop. He made his way back up her body, stopping to kiss and suck certain parts of her flesh along the way. When he claimed her mouth, she kissed him back just as hard. Minutes into it, she flipped him over so that he was on his back. She moved her mouth away and when he lifted to kiss her again, pushed him back down with her fingertip. An almost devilish glint came into her eye as she slinked her way down his body. She looked up at him one last time before taking him into her mouth.

Fitz had propped himself up on his elbows, but fell back when he felt the tip of his length hit the back of her throat. He was rambling nonsensically as she sucked him, her hand following behind her mouth so that there wasn't an inch of him unattended. Every time she came back up, she licked the tip before plunging back down. She took all of him, no easy task, and soon he felt himself spiraling towards his release. But he didn't want to finish in her mouth. He gently pushed her away and she got the hint. She crawled back up his body and before he could move into a new position, she sank all the way down to the hilt. She braced her hands on his stomach as she rode him hard. He watched her move above him like the goddess that she was and concentrated on the way she squeezed him. Soon it became too much and he flipped her onto her back.

"Fuck me," she whimpered, feeling the need to be taken hard after all this time.

And he did, slamming into her with so much force that the heavy headboard banged against the wall. And she loved it, keeping up with his strokes and swiveling her hips in a way that was driving him insane. She pressed her palms flat against the mattress above her to help aide her movements and he picked up speed. Her head fell to the side and he sucked on her neck.

"Did you need this, baby?" Fitz growled into her ear. "Did you ache for me?"

"God, yes…wanted you so damn bad," Olivia moaned, turning her head back to kiss him.

The kiss was sloppy and hot and exactly what she wanted. Her lips were bruised with how hard he had kissed her. His were deliciously red and it made her run her tongue along them again and again. She listened to his sweaty flesh smack against hers and it turned her on even more. Her walls sucked at him, making it almost difficult for him to pull out. Each plunge back in ground his pelvis against her clit and pushed her closer to her orgasm. She bit into his shoulder blade, her teeth leaving their mark as she pulled away to scream. Every hair on her body stood on end and she could taste it she was so close. The building pressure grew too much to bear and soon she screaming as wave upon wave of ecstasy crashed over her. Fitz soon followed after her, shaking as he found his pleasure.

They were too exhausted to speak and were soon fast asleep. Periodically throughout the night one of them would wake the other and the frenzy would begin again. It was a deep craving that had to be satisfied and only when they literally could not move were they sated.

The next morning, or rather the next afternoon, Olivia finally roused from sleep, a smile on her face before she even opened her eyes. Her limbs were sore and she was pretty sure it would be a few days before she could walk straight, but she'd take the side effects. She looked over her shoulder to see that Fitz wasn't in bed with her. She began to panic. The last time they had sex, he left her in the hotel room. She was hoping that he wasn't regretting what happened last night when he walked through the door. He was shirtless, his pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips. In his hands was a tray with breakfast on it. He regretted nothing.

"Mornin', beautiful," Fitz greeted as he leaned to place the tray on the nightstand.

"Good morning," Olivia greeted back, sitting up and scooting back so she could recline against the headboard. "Actually," she amended, looking at the clock, "it's 12:30 and is no longer morning."

Fitz just shrugged and handed her a plate of bacon, eggs, and French toast. Starving after last night, Olivia dug in, taking a break from shoveling food into her mouth to tell him how good it was. Fitz sat on the edge of the bed next to her and ate his breakfast as well, not really talking. When Olivia was finished, she set her plate aside and watched him for a while. He seemed to be in deep thought and she wondered what he was thinking about.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" She finally asked when her curiosity got the best of her.

Fitz looked up at her and tried his best to muster a smile. "Nothing."

"We are supposed to be open and honest with each other, Fitz. We're giving this an actual chance. Tell me what's bothering you." Olivia pushed, not liking that he was shutting her out.

"Was last night…was it good for you?" he asked, ducking his head and looking away.

Now it all made sense. "Is that why we weren't having sex? You were afraid you wouldn't be able to measure up to Jake?"

"No, that's not the only reason. But it hurts a man's ego when the woman he loves was constantly screwing another man."

Olivia narrowed her eyes and thought about what the best way would be to dissolve this non- issue. She figured honesty was the best policy. Taking his plate from his hand, she put it on the nightstand then straddled his lap.

"When I was screaming your name last night, did it seem like I wasn't enjoying myself? What about when I was begging you not to stop? Or how about when I came again and again and again? You are leagues ahead of any man that I have ever been with, don't ever doubt that," Olivia reassured him.

"Good," Fitz replied smugly, all his insecurities washed away.

"And me? Am I the best you've ever had?" Olivia asked, her hand palming his now stiff member.

"Well…there was Becky in the twelfth grade who did this magical little thing with her…"

Before he could even finish, she was sinking down onto him, silencing anything he could have said about the probably nonexistent Becky. "Did she feel like this?" Olivia asked breathily.

"No…"

Two Months Later

"Watch me, Dad," Teddy yelled as he swung on the tire swing.

The kids were visiting for the summer and they were out swimming in the pond. Even though they had a pool, everyone enjoyed riding out to the pond to swim during the hot summer days. Olivia and Fitz were sitting on the dock in the middle of pond while Karen was drifting on an inner tube texting one of her friends. Teddy and his water wings were enjoying the water to the fullest as he jumped off the swing and into the water time and time again.

"I'm watching, buddy," Fitz called back, giving his son his full attention.

Olivia leaned back against Fitz's chest, shading her eyes from the sun so with her hand that she could watch Teddy as well. She found that with each time they came to stay, it got easier and easier to be around them and consider herself as more than just their dad's former employee or mistress. She and Karen's relationship was getting stronger and stronger with each new thing they found in common; namely shopping. Teddy loved Olivia as long as she made him chicken nuggets for lunch.

Teddy jumped into the water and Olivia and Fitz cheered while Karen warned him not to splash her. Being the pesky little brother that he was, this just caused him to swim over to her and kick water at her. Karen shrieked and tried her best to shield her phone but ended up dropping it.

"Are you freaking kidding me, Teddy?" Karen yelled, making her way out of the water. "My phone is now at the bottom and completely ruined. You're so annoying."

"Hey, don't yell at your brother like that," Fitz intervened. "Teddy, apologize to your sister for making her drop her phone."

"Sorry," he huffed, not liking have to apologize.

"Karen, I don't want to hear you talk to him like that, ok? We'll get you a new phone tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What am I supposed to do until then?" Karen asked, upset that she was cut off from the world.

"Today is Sunday, there is nothing open and nothing I can do. Until then, use your iPad or your Mac. There is iMessaging on both those devices that will allow you to communicate just fine," Fitz told her. "I think our time at the pond is done for the day."

"But Dad," Teddy started to whine.

"We've already been out here for a few hours anyways. I think a snack and a nap is in order."

Teddy nodded his head and got out of the water. Karen was fine with that and grabbed her cover-up and got on her four wheeler. Teddy went over to the four wheeler that Karen was driving and hopped on the back. They rode off towards the house while Fitz and Olivia stayed behind.

"You're such a good father," Olivia remarked, turning to look up at him.

"I wasn't always and I can admit that," Fitz said, thinking back on how he failed his children in the past. "I just want to do better in future. Especially for little Agnes or Butch."

"You keep joking on those names, mister, and I'll make sure you're not even in the delivery room," Olivia told him and watched as Fitz's eyes went wide.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Speaking of babies, when do you think you'll be ready to have some?" Fitz asked. Ever since that day months ago, they hadn't discussed children. They were more focused on getting them right and not trying to jump ahead.

"I don't even have a ring yet. No babies will be coming out of me until I am Mrs. Olivia Pope-Grant," Olivia said, completely serious. She wasn't fishing for a ring, but she wanted him to know where they stood.

"Is that right? Ok," Fitz responded nonchalantly.

"Ok? That's it?" Olivia asked, a little shocked.

"Yup. Other than the fact that your name won't be hyphenated, I agree with what you said."

"Of course that's the one thing you pick out," Olivia rolled her eyes playfully.

"What would it look like for me, once the most powerful man in the world, to have my wife hyphenate her name?" Fitz asked, more joking than serious.

"It would look like you realized that she was someone before she met you and people quake at the very mention of her name. It shows that you are progressive and realize that even if I marry, I am an independent woman."

"If? Don't you mean when?" Fitz asked, moving his fingers to her side and tickling her.

"Ok, ok," Olivia managed to huff out between laughs, "when."

"That's better. No let's get to the house before the kids kill each other."

Later that day, Fitz walked into Olivia's office where she was working on a few things. She decided that she was no longer going to be the face of OPA. She would still be in the background and fly out if it was absolutely necessary, but other than that, she was going to enjoy her life in Vermont. She was going to leave the day to day operations to Abby. She had come back since her White House days ended and had been doing an amazing job.

"Hi," Fitz greeted as he watched Olivia shuffle between papers and her laptop.

"Hi. To what do I owe this visit?" Olivia wondered, putting her papers down.

"I was wondering if you would be so kind as to join me for a nice walk?" Fitz said, leaning against the doorway.

"Of course." Olivia noticed he was changed from earlier and was now wearing a pair of khaki linen pants and white button down. "Should I change, too?"

"If you want. It's not required." Fitz said nonchalantly with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I'll change and meet you on the back deck in like ten minutes," she told him, rounding her desk and heading for the stairs.

"No shoes," Fitz called after her.

True to her word, Olivia met Fitz outside in ten minutes. The summer air was warm on her skin and the sun had just begun to sink. She opted for a white summer dress with a sweetheart neckline and thick straps. The skirt flared out and flattered her legs all the way down to her bare feet. When Fitz saw her, he stopped and just took her in. She turned to reveal the criss-crossed back and he sang her praises. She thanked him and took the hand he offered her.

They walked their property, hands swinging between them. Olivia knew this path well, it lead to the orchards. It was kind of a far walk, fifteen to twenty minutes, but she didn't mind. She loved the feel of the lush grass between her toes and his strong hand in hers. They talked about the fruit they would harvest soon, about Karen and Teddy leaving at the end of the summer, and about upcoming travel plans. At one point they went silent, just enjoying the company and listening to the summer crickets chirp.

The mountains were off in the distance providing a picturesque setting and as they neared the trees of the orchard, Olivia could see what Fitz had set up for them. There were lanterns strewn across the trees to provide them lighting for when the sun fully went down. In the middle was a checkered picnic blanket for them to sit upon. Fitz sat first, laying down completely and stretching out. Olivia laid next to him, nestling close into his body. The air was fragrant with ripening fruit and the ambiance was peaceful. They stared up at the orange and pink sky, the colors blending and creating harmony. They watched the sky change from day to night, not saying much the entire time.

"Thank you," Olivia said simply.

"For what?"

"For making me unconditionally, irrevocably, blissfully happy," she replied, peering up at him.

"Thank you for doing the same for me. But do you know what would make me even more happy?" Fitz asked, digging in his pocket.

"What?"

"You agreeing to be my wife." He pulled the ring for the box and presented it her, the diamond catching the light from the moon and lanterns and sparkling in the night. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

AN:So I find I like doing these long one shots and just being done with the story. It takes the updating pressure off of me and provides you guys with a complete story in one sitting. How'd you like it? I've been thinking about how Scandal will come back and I really feel like she's going to choose Jake until Fitz is actually available. So I based the story off of that, Olivia's wishy washy behavior, and Fitz's ability to forgive her of all her sins. I know many of you will probably think that Fitz should have made her work for it a lot harder, and believe me, I thought about it. But one, it was already a long one shot, and two, I figured they were way too old to be playing games and had waited long enough to be together. Anyways, leave a review and tell me what you thought. Also, let me know if you would like a follow up chapter about the wedding, maybe a kid or two, and so on. Oh, and let me know how you think Scandal is going to be when it comes back as far as Olivia and her indecisiveness. I don't really communicate with the scandal fandom outside of fan fiction because I don't do social media, so I would love to hear you guys' thoughts in a review or a pm.

Also, I just want to say that I have completely lost all motivation to finish Out of Nowhere. I know that's horrible, but its the truth. I may go back and finish it at a later date, but don't get your hopes up.