Author's Note: Figwit is the nickname of Lindir, Lord Elrond's steward/minstrel in Rivendell, given him by a group of Interested Parties during the Fellowship of the Ring movie when he appears at the Council of Elrond. It stands for Frodo is Great! - Who is THAT? Which is, presumably, what the Interested Parties cried when he came on screen. Many years later, during The Desolation of Smaug movie, another group of similarly Interested Parties saw a fair elf appear with a horn in his hand, ready to save the day. This occurs while the dwarves are escaping in barrels, when Legolas Greenleaf has discovered their disappearance and orders the gate to be shut. Feren's cameo appearances throughout The Desolation of Smaug and The Battle of the Five Armies earned him the name Tigwit, which stands for Thorin/Thranduil/Tauriel is Great! – Who is THAT? Since he is to Thranduil what Lindir is to Elrond, Feren is presumed to be Figwit's cousin.

One of Legolas' lines to him in DOS is translated "Shut the gate!" on screen, as he orders Feren to blow his horn; however, experts agree that the elvish literally means, "Hit it, Tigwit!"

Part 1: Tigwit's Got Talent

Chapter 1

Thranduil Elvenking was meditating on his throne amidst his antlers and branches when he heard soft elven footsteps entering his sanctum sanctorum. He turned his head slightly and, catching a glimpse of his son in a mirror across the room, decided to be impressive and pretend he had eyes in the back of his head.

"Tauriel told me you were upset about something," he said.

Legolas stepped into the room.

"Dad," he said. "You have to stop Feren."

"What is he doing this time?" queried Thranduil. Thranduil was too cool and awesome to "ask". He always queried – or at least he liked to think so.

"He's holding auditions," said Leggy, his eyes wide to emphasize his point. He began to pace the floor, running laps back and forth across the throne room. "He's holding auditions in the main hall. He's been holding them since this morning and all of us are sick of it."

"Auditions for what?" queried Thranduil again.

"Some sort of talent show or something," said Legolas. "But worse than that, his cousin Lindir is here."

"Lindir? Lord Elrond's steward?"

"Yes," said Legolas. "And he's plucking his harp like there's no tomorrow. Make Feren stop. And make him get rid of Lindir."

Thranduil rose majestically from his throne.

"I have an idea," he said. "You remember how Elrond cheated me out of my favourite necklace at Galadriel's fund-raising casino night?"

"The one you got from Erebor?" asked Legolas. "I thought he won that in a poker match."

"He cheated," said Thranduil. "You know I am the best player in Middle-Earth. I have an even better poker-face than that half-wit Celeborn. I need my jewels back. And I think I know how to get them. Let us go down and see what Feren is up to."

Feren was Thranduil Elvenking's chief gatekeeper and messenger in the Woodland Realm, but he was an elf of many interests, and his greatest interest in the world was music. Primarily because it was the fastest-growing industry in Middle-Earth, and Feren, always an entrepreneur, wanted to get in before anyone else could capitalize on it. This was why he was holding auditions for his new show Elves Got Talent in the halls of the Woodland Realm. Originally it was supposed to be Mirkwood's Got Talent, but when Haldir and Lindir had texted him excitedly and asked for slots he had to change the name. Galion had scoffed, saying that the title was terrible Elvish, but Feren was a freethinker and thought it was catchy. He had begun auditions early that morning with a cheery countenance, the glint of gold already gleaming in his eyes at the thought of what people would pay to see this show.

Now he was discouraged. Elf after elf had auditioned with their violins, cellos, flutes, oboes, drums, and, when it came to Lindir, harps, but all of them had been disappointing.

"Any elf can do that," whispered Feren to Tauriel, who had volunteered as his co-judge, while Haldir was playing a plinkly tune on the piano.

"I think it's lovely," said Tauriel.

"You have no taste," said Feren. "Nobody's going to pay for this." He hit the buzzer, and Haldir stopped playing, disappointedly.

"But Feren," he said.

"It's not personal," said Feren. "See, Lindir didn't make it either."

"And he's crying in the corner," said Haldir. "You haven't picked anybody all day."

"Next," said Feren, looking around. There was nobody left.

"They all gave up," said Tauriel.

"We must broaden our recruitment pool," said Feren. "Send out a Facebook invitation to everyone in Rivendell and Lothlorien."

Just then Thranduil Elvenking came sweeping into the room.

"Feren," he said.

Feren rose. "Your Excellency," he said, with a graceful bow. "Did you come to audition for the show?"

"I did not," said Thranduil. "I came to ask – er, query why you have brought foreign elves into my realm without my permission."

He looked at Haldir and Lindir. Haldir was stomping around, but Lindir was just a dejected heap in a chair.

Feren's jaw dropped. "Uh," he said. "Haldir is Legolas's best friend. Right, Leggy?"

Legolas was hiding behind his father. "Well, yeah," he said. "But Lindir isn't."

Lindir looked up, then buried his face in his hands again.

"Lindir is my cousin," said Feren.

"He is Lord Elrond's steward," said Thranduil, "and is no doubt here to steal more of my jewels."

"No!" chirped Lindir.

"No!" echoed Feren. "He's here to audition."

"And did he make the show?" asked Thranduil.

"No," said Feren, flushing.

"So it was a front," said Thranduil. "Lock him up, Elros."

"No!" cried Feren, but Elros and Galion had already seized Lindir and dragged him away to the dungeon.

"Feren," said Thranduil. "I need you to take a message to Imladris to my lord Elrond. Tell him that his steward will be held here until he returns the jewels that he took from me."

Thranduil swirled his cloak and exited the room.

Feren had collapsed in a chair. "Leggy," he cried. "What's the matter with your dad?"

"Do not speak against my father," said Legolas. "He is Thranduil, son of Oropher, and you owe him your allegiance."

"Yes, " said Feren. "But Elrond isn't going to give those jewels back just for Lindir."

"Too bad," said Legolas, turning on his heel. Sometimes, thought Feren, he looked so much like his dad.

"You'd better leave soon," said Legolas, calling over his shoulder.

"Grrrrrr," said Feren.