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CHAPTER 5

Sitting on Charles' lap Elsie felt completely at ease for the first time in a very long while; not since she had left the farm and had to protect her own reputation. Ever since her first day here at the Abbey she had known that she could trust Mr Carson explicitly. He had made it clear right from the start that he wouldn't allow any lewd behaviour from the footmen towards the maids. At whatever point she would tell him to stop during this … interlude of theirs, he would do so without complaint or resentment. He was, above all, a true gentleman. The only problem was that she didn't want him to stop. Truth be told, she wanted him as close to her as two people could possibly be.

Her entire life she had closed herself off to carnal desire, had heeded her parents' harsh words – "fallen women have no family", "when you're with child, you're as good as dead to us" – but this late in her life she couldn't find the strength in her anymore to fight her own treacherous body. Charles' scent had always drawn her in, smelled of home. She knew the sound of his step, that his blustering masked a genteel nature, his every minute expression of every emotion. Years ago she had admitted to herself that she loved Mr Carson as she had never loved another human being before. Today would hopefully mark the day she could show him her love in a very physical way.

Judging by his actions, he didn't seem to be averse to the idea. Sitting here on his lap, Elsie borrowed closer into his chest, her small hands clasping the lapels of his suit jacket. Breathing deeply she cuddled closer still, feeling the effect her proximity and on him. Nuzzling his jawline she hoped to convey to him, in her own clumsy way, that she was flattered by his reaction and hoped they could continue this … whatever it was. She wasn't even sure what to name this feeling: attraction – certainly; desire – yes, that was there, too; love – for her it was, but what did Charles feel?

Carefully she shifted her head so that she could peek at Charles' face through her lashes, trying to gauge how he felt for her truly. He had called her his love, but, as her mother had been wont to say, men had laid it on far more thickly to get under a woman's skirts. As her gaze slid slowly up over his chest she encountered his tenderly smiling lips before settling on his soft brown eyes, looking directly into hers.

His soft, warm voice floated through her desire-drugged mind, "As cuddly as this is and as much as I would like to … continue this, it is neither the right time nor the … well, I suppose the place would be right …" he ended lamely, drawing a warm chuckle from the woman on his lap, but he could also feel Elsie gently extricating herself from his embrace and sitting up.

She ruefully smiled at him, her hand affectionately stroking his cheek and her eyes dancing merrily up into his. With a little sigh escaping her parted lips, she whispered, "I wish I wouldn't be hearing my mother's voice in my head, preaching morality …" Another sigh and the loveliest blush Charles had ever seen halted her words. Her eyes were bashfully cast downwards, but the steady rhythm of her caresses spoke a language all its own. It would be best to stop now when they both were lucid enough to do so instead of getting carried away and regret it come the next morning or even just later today. Sighing again she made to move off Charles, but his large hands wrapped possessively around her waist, cupping her derrier and drawing her tighter to his rather obvious desire for her. Blushing furiously she squirmed on his lap, earning herself a deep groan from the man beneath her.

"Charles … please," she moaned, not sure anymore if she was begging him to release her or to take her to her bed. Before either could lose their mind, though, a persistent knock sounded from the door.

"Mr Carson? Mrs Hughes? Are you in there?" Anna's voice called through the door. Then there was a slight pause before they could hear true, deeply-felt concern for the housekeeper and barely held-back tears. "Mr Carson, please, is Mrs Hughes well?"

Looking deeply into Elsie's eyes Charles took a deep breath before he answered the worried Lady's-maid. "She's not hurt, Anna, …" Elsie vigorously shook her head, eyes wide and pleading him not to throw her to the wolves downstairs. She still wasn't up to facing others moment with Charles had only served to confuse her more, arouse her body more. Charles seemed to read her mind, "… but she still needs to rest today. She has worked very hard of late and is tired. I'll be down in a moment. Could you ask Mrs Patmore for a tray in the meantime?" He wanted to buy a little more time alone with Elsie.

"Of course, Mr Carson," Anna's voice replied eagerly and then they could hear her retreating footsteps.

Charles sighed audibly, letting his forehead bump gently against Elsie's. "I should leave you now before Anna returns and gets an eyeful," he muttered more to himself than to his rapt audience.

"I'm sure it's nothing she hasn't done already with Mr Bates," Elsie mumbled under her breath.

"Elsie!" Charles exclaimed scandalized, but he couldn't contain his own roar of laughter as he heard the slightly embarrassed chuckle stifled against his chest.