Warmth

"Is there a reason that you're in my bed, Vanille?" Lightning asked.

Vanille shivered. "Because it's cold, the power is out, my heater broke, and I don't have any more blankets."

"And you couldn't have snuggled up to Fang, you know, your sister?" Lightning sighed as Vanille made herself comfortable, burrowing under her blanket and latching onto her middle like a barnacle.

"Fang is pretty warm, but you're like a furnace." Vanille sighed and pressed her face against Lightning's shoulder. This was so nice. "Toasty warm."

"I should kill you," Lightning mused. "I mean I've got a big backyard. No one would ever know. I even have a new shovel."

"You wouldn't kill me. You like me too much.' Vanille sighed happily, relishing Lightning's warmth. "I'm starting to get why Serah used to sleep in your bed so much. You're actually quite cuddly."

"She told you about that?" Lightning scowled.

"In her defence, we might have been really drunk. I just have a good memory." The door creaked open, and Vanille smiled at Fang. "Hey, Fang!"

"Why are you in Lightning's bed?" Fang's eye twitched. Although she and Lightning were still theoretically just friends, she couldn't say she was too thrilled about this development. "Vanille?"

"Well, there's no power, my heater broke, and I don't have enough blankets." Vanille smiled sunnily and cuddled up to Lightning. "Lightning, however, is toasty warm and way cuddlier than a heater." She patted the bed on the other side of Lightning. "You should give it a try."

"Do I get a say in any of this?" Lightning asked dryly. "Or am I just a source of warmth?"

"Hey, all you have to do is tell me to get out and I will."

Silence.

"See?" Vanille grinned. "She doesn't mind."

Fang had to hand it to Vanille. She was one of the only people in the world stubborn and crazy enough to just hop into bed with Lightning – and she was maybe the only person charming enough to pull it off. "If it's okay with you, Lightning…"

Lightning shrugged. "I've already got one barnacle attached, and it would be a shame if you froze to death after everything we did to get you two out of crystal stasis."

Fang smiled. "Okay, then."

Soon enough, there were three of them in bed. Fang pressed herself closer to Lightning. Vanille was right. Despite her frosty disposition, Lightning was a furnace.

"Could you stop squirming?" Lightning yawned. "Fang, I'm trying to sleep."

"Uh… I'm just tyring to work out where to put my hands and –"

Lightning made a fed up noise and simply yanked Fang against her. "There. But if your hands start wandering, I'll kill you."

"Ah." Fang relaxed ever so slightly. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Lightning closed her eyes as Fang's hand settled on her hip. "I mean it."

Then she was asleep. Fang, however, was not so quick to follow since Vanille, naturally, began to snore.

X X X

"Serah, I'm sure she's fine. She's one of the toughest people I know," Snow said as Serah used her spare key to unlock the front door of Lightning's house. "Besides, Vanille and Fang live here too. Those three can handle anything. A little power failure isn't going to kill them."

"Look, I just want to check on her, that's all," Serah replied. "Now, stay down here. I'll take a quick peek in her bedroom."

Five minutes later, Serah came back down, her expression utterly unreadable.

"Is… uh… everything okay?" Snow asked. Had something bad actually happened?

"Lightning was in bed."

"Oh. Was she still asleep?"

"That's not it Snow." Serah paused. "Fang was in her bed."

"Really?" He grinned. "I had a feeling about those two –"

"And so was Vanille."

"Oh." Snow gaped. "Well… I can't say I was expecting that."

X X X

Lawnmower Apocalypse

Vanille didn't object to doing her fair share of the chores. It was, after all, the price of living in Lightning's house. However, she did object to what Lightning defined as fair. Take right now, for example. Vanille could have been doing something fantastically worthwhile like improving the efficiency of their microwave or upping the capacity of their refrigerator. Instead, Lightning had her mowing the lawn. That was just wrong.

She glared down at the lawnmower. The stupid thing was so annoying to start, and it took so much effort to push. It couldn't even remove the weeds while it was mowing the grass. Whatever happened to multitasking? She stopped. Wait. Lightning had told her to mow the lawn. She'd never said anything about how it got done. Vanille smiled and rubbed her hands together as she bit back a maniacal cackle. Oh, yes, the lawn would get mowed – mowed good and proper – and Lightning would thank her for being so awesome.

X X X

Lightning ambled into the living room and scowled. Vanille was sitting on the couch, sipping some soda and munching on some popcorn as she watched a movie. "Didn't I tell you to mow the lawn?"

"Yes, you did." Vanille turned to Lightning and gave her a thumb's up. "It's getting mowed right now."

"Really?" Sceptical wouldn't even begin to describe Lightning's voice.

"Yes, really." Vanille's smile was brighter than sunshine. "Go out and have a look. You can thank me later."

More than a little afraid of what she'd find – possibly a flock of hungry sheep – Lightning went outside. Hmm… this wasn't that bad. Their old lawnmower had clearly been modified. It was about twice its previous size and covered with a host of advanced sensors and other unidentifiable equipment. The lawnmower was all but silently making its way around the front lawn, cutting the grass, removing the weeds, and leaving behind small amounts of fertiliser at the same time. It was, Lightning thought, actually quite brilliant. She might have to thank Vanille for real. Then the lawnmower stopped. One of the cameras on top of it zoomed in on her as a storm of alarms went off.

"Intruder detected!" the lawnmower wailed. "Initiating defence protocol!"

And with that, the lawnmower transformed into a killing machine that would have done the War of Transgression proud.

X X X

"You!"

Vanille yelped as Lightning grabbed her by the scruff of her shirt and dragged her into the front yard before throwing her at a scrapheap of burning metal. It was her lawnmower. "What did you do? You killed the lawnmower!"

"Me? You're asking me what I did? That thing saw me and tried to kill me."

"But why would it do that?" Vanille cringed. "Unless I maybe, might have, I don't know, forgot to input your data, so that it wouldn't think you were an intruder." She paused. "But it wasn't trying to kill you, just subdue you."

A pair of scissors lanced into the ground in front of Vanille. "I want this lawn properly cut, and you're going to be doing that with those scissors."

"Do I have to?" The scissors were not very big at all.

"Do you enjoy living?"

"Yes."

"Then start cutting."

X X X

The Rake

After the disaster involving the murderous lawnmower, Lightning forbade Vanille from going anywhere near their gardening equipment. Just the thought of what the redhead might do to their hedge trimmer – to say nothing about their chainsaw – was enough to give Lightning nightmares.

Naturally, it was up to Fang to pick up the slack. Unlike her sister, Fang was perfectly content to use gardening equipment the way it was intended, as opposed to transforming it into its own form of life. As autumn rolled in, and the big tree in the front yard began to shed its leaves, Fang added raking the leaves to her routine whenever she had a day off.

There was something oddly therapeutic about raking the leaves. Perhaps it was because of how visible the signs of progress were. When Fang started, the lawn would be covered in orange and brown leaves. When she was finished, the leaves would be gone. It was simple and clear, which was more than she could say about everything else in her life.

Trying to adjust to this new world – one in which the survivors of Cocoon were trying to build a new society on Gran Pulse – was not easy. She hadn't given much thought to what she'd do after they defeated Barthandelus. A part of her had always just assumed that she would die in the attempt, making any thoughts about the future completely pointless.

But here she was.

At least she wasn't alone. Vanille was still around, as loveably odd as ever, and so were Lightning and the others. At the thought of the pink-haired woman, Fang paused for a moment and propped her rake up on her shoulder. Lightning had not only allowed Fang and Vanille to live with her but she had also done the most out of anyone to help them adjust. And this was despite Vanille's semi-frequent attempts to improve things that always – always – ended in horror.

Fang still wasn't sure what to make of it. From what she'd learned from Serah, it was all about family. Lightning considered Fang and the others her family now, which meant that come hell or high water, Lightning was going to see them thrive, even if she had to drag them to success kicking and screaming. It was such a typically Lightning way approach things: succeed… or else. Well, Fang could handle that.

The wind blew and more leaves tumbled down onto the lawn. Fang chuckled. Raking leaves always got her thinking, perhaps too much. Sometimes, life was complicated. But sometimes, it was very simple. She didn't have just Vanille anymore. She had the others too, and somehow, they'd make things work.

And speaking of work…

"Stop dawdling," Lightning said. "And get back to work."

"I was just taking a moment to admire the view." Fang waggled her eyebrows as Lightning bent over to pull another weed out of the lawn. The pink-haired woman scowled as if offended that a weed would dare grow in her lawn.

"What view?" Fang merely continued to stare until Lightning caught her meaning. "Fang!"

Fang laughed and brought her rake around to bat away the weed Lightning threw at her head. "Heh. It'll take more than a weed to get me when I've got the rake, Lightning."

"How about I throw a shovel next time?"

Fang got back to work.

X X X

The Microwave

The microwave did not go gently into that good night.

It burnt and raved at the closing of its day.

It raged, raged, raged and died in a flash of light.

Yes, Fang had killed the microwave. It was sad, really. She had, on no small number of occasions, imagined spearing the ornery piece of technology and hurling its remains out onto the front lawn as a warning to all of the other uncooperative microwaves out there. But lately, she'd begun to like the microwave more. In particular, she'd become quite fond of microwaved popcorn whenever she, Vanille, and Lightning sat down to watch a movie for movie night.

This week, a Guardian Corps emergency meant that Lightning had been unable to attend. But Vanille had insisted on the two of them watching a movie anyway, and Fang had gone off to make popcorn.

And then the microwave had died.

"What was that exploding sound?" Vanille asked as she ran into the kitchen. "If we're exploding things, I want in."

Fang pointed at the microwave.

"Oh." Vanille's eyes widened. "OH!"

"Yeah. Oh."

"We have to fix it." Vanille shoved Fang out of the way and began poking and prodding the microwave. Smoke billowed out of it, and little bits of charred popcorn rolled onto the kitchen floor. "Do you have any idea how much Lightning loves the microwave?"

Fang knew exactly how much Lightning loved the microwave. The pink-haired woman could cook, but after a long, tiring shift with the Guardian Corps, she wasn't always in the mood for cooking. Sometimes, all Lightning wanted to do was throw something into the microwave. It didn't matter that microwaved food didn't taste the best. All that mattered was how quick it was.

"We're dead!" Vanille wailed. "Lightning is going to come home tomorrow, find out that we murdered her microwave, and then she's going to kill us."

"Wait a second –"

"No!" Vanille rounded on Fang. "We don't both have to die. Only you have to die. You're the one who murdered your microwave. I was just in the living room getting the movie ready, and you've always hated the microwave…"

"Vanille, calm down." Fang grabbed Vanille. "Lightning is not going to kill us over a microwave."

"Do you remember what she did to Snow after he broke her grill?"

Fang opened her mouth and then shut it. Snow had been lucky to escape with his life after breaking Lightning's grill. It had taken Fang, Vanille, Serah, Hope, and Sazh to drag her away before she could murder him. "We're going to die."

"No, you're going to die." Vanille stepped away from Fang. "I'm sorry, Fang. I love you, but I am not taking the fall for you murdering the microwave."

Fang scowled. "Vanille, do you really think she'll believe you if you say you didn't have anything to do with it?"

"…" Vanille covered her face with her hands. "We're both going to die."

"No, we're not." Fang took a deep breath. "We can get her another microwave, one that's exactly the same."

"No, we can't. They don't even make this kind anymore!" Vanille wailed. "And she'd know. She'd know, and you know it!"

"What do we do then?" Fang asked.

Vanille took a deep breath. "You wait for her naked on her bed and –"

"No!" Fang growled. "How about…"

X X X

Lightning yawned and unlocked the front door. Her mission had taken longer than expected, and she couldn't wait to have a shower and fall asleep in her own bed. But the instant, she was through the door, she was accosted by Vanille.

"Please, don't kill us!" Vanille wailed. "I'm the last Dia, and Fang is the last Yun, so you'll be committing genocide if you kill us."

Lightning was instantly fully awake and alert. "What did you do?"

"Your microwave broke down, so we bought you a new one. It's top of the line with all the bells and whistles," Fang said as she pried Vanille off Lightning.

"Is that so?" Lightning went into the kitchen. "Hey, that's pretty nice." She nodded. "I was actually going to get rid of the old microwave. It's been playing up for about a week, so it was only a matter of time."

"Oh." Fang and Vanille exchanged looks, and Fang cleared her throat. "Well, we saved you the trouble then."

"Yes, you did. Thanks." Lightning shrugged. "I'm going to go shower and sleep. Maybe we can watch a movie when I wake up."

As Fang and Vanille continued to watch her, just waiting for the other shoe to drop, Lightning bit back a smile. She had a new microwave.

X X X

Author's Notes

As always, I do not own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

In my head, Vanille and Fang end up living in Lightning's house for a while after they get out of crystal stasis. Naturally, things are a bit weird, what with all the unresolved sexual tension and Vanille's general craziness. It also explains why Vanille is always dropping by the Yun-Farron house in Ordinary Heroes – not only does she get to hang out with her number one minion but it's also pretty much her second home.

I also write original fiction, mostly fantasy. You can find links to it in my profile

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.