Disclaimer: Nope. Still not mine.

Author's Note: I've been struggling with writer's block, but a guest reviewer helpfully made a request. Although this isn't exactly what was requested, I hope you enjoy it anyway!


It's one of those days in the office with no new case, so I can take a real lunch break. Walk someplace far enough to not run into any of my colleagues, get a chapter further into Bleak House. Get out of my head for an hour.

Days like this, I miss Rigsby. He had a hundred silly games with office supplies to pass the time when we were between cases, and he was always up for quarter bets. Van Pelt might roll her eyes, and Jane might tease us, but we had fun.

At the FBI, I get Wylie muttering to himself while he tries to tweak a search program he's been writing, Vega sighing in boredom at being stuck behind a desk, and Jane and Lisbon making goo-goo eyes at each other. I swear, they're worse at hiding their relationship than Rigsby and Van Pelt, and that's saying something.

But I'm not supposed to know, so I don't let on that I do. Though really, I'm a little insulted. Lisbon throws a glass of water at Jane and calls him a son of a bitch, then storms out of the hotel on her way to DC, since the case was a fake and there's no reason for her to stay. Jane wraps up the case in typical messy fashion, runs off to the airport, and gets detained by the TSA for illegally boarding an aircraft. Then they're both on leave for two weeks—well, technically a suspension in Jane's case—and then suddenly everything is back to normal. No Pike, no DC job for Lisbon, and no sign she regrets any of it. Jane stops moping around and enjoys himself.

Come on. Even Rigsby could put that together.

But they apparently think they're keeping it a secret, so I let them. Not really my business, after all. If they're happy, I'm happy. And if it keeps Lisbon here, great. There's nobody I'd rather have watching my back. And I wasn't looking forward to wrangling Jane while he sulked about her leaving.

I take a nice long walk down to my favorite Chinese place. There are three or four closer to the office, so nobody else comes this far, even though their dumplings are the best.

I grab a seat behind one of the big painted screens, where I can read in peace, and a few minutes later I have my order. I settle in to enjoy it, ignoring the other customers, who are mostly doing carry out.

I've just finished eating and gotten into the story when a couple takes the table on the other side of the screen. I ignore the sounds of scraping chairs and rustling napkins, until I hear a familiar voice say, "I hope you're hungry. I don't know why you had to get the dumplings when I told you I just wanted soup."

Then Jane says, "Ah, but I saw the way you eyed them on the menu. You're hungrier than you think, my dear."

I start to open my mouth to let them know I'm here, but Jane continues, "And you need to keep up your strength. I have plans for you tonight."

"Oh?" Lisbon says.

I wonder if they'd notice me if I crawl out of here. I can't just walk out. Not after that. Lisbon would wince with embarrassment every time she saw me if she knew I'd overheard him say that to her in what I would call a bedroom voice, if that didn't make me want to puke.

"Plans, huh?" she says, and I can hear her smile. She's been doing that a lot lately. It's great to see. But I really, really don't want to listen to them flirt.

"Oh yes." Jane sounds like an evil mastermind from a James Bond film.

I admit, I've always been curious to see how Jane would go about seducing a woman. I just never thought it would be Lisbon. She's like my sister. I don't want to know the details.

"Do these plans involve a beekeeping suit?"

Huh? Okay, there's kinky, and then there's just plain weird. Never figured Lisbon for weird. Jane, maybe.

Jane laughs. He's been doing that lately. It's weird. But good weird.

"No. Although if your heart's set on it, that can be arranged."

"There better not be a sailboat in those plans, either."

"Never fear. You made your feelings on that score perfectly clear."

"Good."

"I've been confining my imagination to land-based activities. For instance, I thought we might try our hands at growing coffee beans. There's a shortage, you know."

"Wouldn't that involve moving to South America?"

"Hey, you might like it. Spanish is easy to pick up once you apply yourself."

"No thanks."

"Really? All the free coffee you can drink? Teresa, I'm afraid your standards may be higher than I can meet if you're turning that down."

"I'd be bored out of my mind on a farm. And so would you."

"That just tells me you have no idea how much work farming is. You'd have no energy to be bored. And you'd look darling in a pair of overalls."

Lisbon snorts. "You'd have to give up your shoes for work boots."

"Ah, the fatal flaw in my plan. Alas, yes."

An order number is called, and Jane says, "Be right back."

I bend my head over my book, hoping he doesn't think to glance behind the screen. He must not have, because a minute later he sits back down, and they're quiet for a while as they eat.

Good. Maybe they're in a hurry.

Lisbon says, "I know what you're up to."

"Besides eating triple delight?"

"Yes. You're making outrageous suggestions so that when you get around to what you really want to do, it'll seem reasonable by comparison. I know how you operate."

"Yes, you do." Jane makes it an innuendo.

"Hush," she says, laughing. "Why don't you just tell me your real plan?"

"I don't have one. I just think there are things we might enjoy more than the FBI."

Jane's thinking about leaving the FBI? I really don't want to hear this. Especially if he's planning to take Lisbon with him.

"I like helping people," Lisbon says. "And you do too. Besides, here you get to solve puzzles and outsmart people."

"True. But none of that is ever going to make up for the terror of knowing some random perp might leave you bleeding out in my arms someday."

Ouch. There's an image I didn't need in my head. But I'm sure it's been in Jane's for a while. The man should never have fallen for a cop.

Lisbon sighs. "Jane," she says gently.

"I know, I know. You take precautions. You're trained and smart and careful. But we've both known cops who were all those things and still died on the job."

"That's true. But people who aren't cops die every day, from accidents or illness."

"Or violent crime," Jane adds.

I can't help but wince. I feel for the guy; I really do. But he'll never take the cop out of Lisbon.

They're quiet for a minute, and I wonder if they're holding hands.

"What if there were a way we could still help people and outwit bad guys, but not be on the front line?" Jane asks.

"You mean like private detectives?"

"Not really. I was thinking more a foundation for helping victims of violent crime, especially survivors of murder victims. Getting them counseling, being their advocate with the police and courts, even looking into cold cases. Getting the bad guy is only the beginning of the healing process, you know. How many times have we met families we wished we could do more to help?"

Huh. Not a bad idea. If they do it, wonder if they'd have an opening for me? I can't be tackling guys when I'm seventy, and I don't want to be a paper pusher. Someday I'll be looking for a second career.

When Lisbon speaks again, I can barely hear her. "We could call it the Angela and Charlotte Jane Foundation."

Jane's breathing goes all funny. Crap, I hope he's not going to start crying.

He clears his throat after a few seconds. "Yeah. I'd like that."

"But where would we get the money?" Lisbon wonders.

"Seriously?" Jane sounds like he might start laughing, but he's still a little hoarse.

"What about your deal with Abbott?"

Yeah, that's what I want to know, too.

"Meh. Abbott has bigger fish to fry in DC."

"Did his wife get confirmed? I thought he was going to stay here."

"Not once I help him with what's in his way," Jane says.

Okay, I really need not to hear this.

"What is that?" Lisbon asks.

"I have no idea. But I'm sure I can help."

Lisbon snorts. "So you do have a plan."

"Well, now I do. The beginnings of one, anyway. I didn't when we sat down. Go ahead; shoot me down."

"It's...not a bad idea. But only if you can get out of your deal honestly. And come up with the funding."

"Not a problem. And of course we'll want to bring Cho on board."

"We will? I mean, great, but what makes you think he'll want to leave the FBI?"

"We'll still be dealing with bad guys now and then. We need someone we can trust to watch your back. Cho will enjoy being the muscle and not having to worry about regulations and paperwork. Plus we'll be working with Rigsby and Van Pelt's company pretty often. It'll be almost like the old days. We're putting the band back together. Cho won't want to be left out."

"And that's enough to throw his career away? For a risky venture that might not make it?"

"Since when have we failed at anything we set out to do?"

"All I'm saying is, let's do this right, okay? There's no need to rush. Let's think it through. Don't do anything rash."

"Who, me?" I can hear the grin he's wearing. It's the one that means trouble.

"Uh huh," Lisbon says, unconvinced. I'm glad love hasn't turned her into a pushover. "We better get back."

"For what, cold cases and watching young Wylie moon over Vega? Besides, you haven't finished your dumplings."

"They're your dumplings. And Wylie and Vega, really?"

"How have you not noticed young love blooming right under our noses? Well, young lust, probably, at this stage. Not that he has a chance. She's far more interested in Cho. Which is a shame, because she's far more suited to Wylie. Cho needs a mature woman who can value him for the rare gem he is. Which is all the more reason he should come with us. He'll meet a much wider spectrum of non-criminal ladies that way, without pesky regulations to come between him and them."

"Now you're going to matchmake for Cho? Don't expect me to protect you when he decides to punch you in the nose."

"Cho will only punch me if he perceives I've made you unhappy. Since I've no intention of doing so, I'm safe from his formidable wrath. Eat your dumplings, Teresa. It's a long walk back, and there's a tree out in the park that is just begging for me to kiss you under it."

"Oh, so now you read the minds of trees?"

"Don't be silly. Trees don't have minds. I merely possess the ability to evaluate the romantic ambiance of various scenic spots."

"Says the man who lives in a trailer totally lacking in romantic ambiance."

"You didn't think that this morning."

"Hush."

I concentrate on the sentence I've been trying to read since they sat down. I will not imagine them naked in bed. I will not imagine that Airstream rocking. I will not wonder if either of them is a screamer.

The sound of chairs scraping comes as a huge relief. But then Jane says, "Come on. I want to have a little fun with Wylie and Vega before Cho gets back."

"How do you know he isn't already back?"

"Oh, just a hunch."

Son of a bitch. He knew I was here the whole time.

"Be nice," Lisbon tells him as they walk off.

I was looking for a nice quiet lunch, but I think I just got a job offer instead.

I close my book. I've got some thinking to do.