Hi! I'm alive! I lost touch with my muse for a little bit, but we're back on track and things are moving along now.
Thanks so much for all of your comments, messages, favorites, and follows. It means the world to me and keeps me going.

Disclaimer: In no way do I have any rights to Supernatural or any of the characters you are familiar with. I only own Amriel and any OCs that pop up along the way.


Chapter Fifty Two: Apologies

Amriel stood up from the desk in her bedroom as soon as she heard the door to the bunker open, followed by four sets of footsteps trailing down the stairs. She quickly glanced in the mirror and made sure she looked presentable in her loose sweater and leggings, which she found much more comfortable than most pants. Once she straightened herself out, she slipped on her boots and made her way to the war room, where she heard the sounds of everyone talking.

When she found Sam, Dean, and Cas, she was surprised to see that the fourth person was a familiar blonde woman. She wasn't sure who she was expecting, but it definitely wasn't Mary Winchester. They were all seated at the table, bags of fast food chicken in front of them.

Three sets of eyes were now on the blonde angel, and she noticed that Cas was focused on fiddling with his phone.

Sam immediately stood from the table and pulled her into a gentle hug, mumbling that he had missed her. Amriel felt a wave of jealousy run through her veins, and she knew that was coming from Cas. She muttered a similar sentiment before he let go and looked to his mother, smiling as he introduced the two.

"Mom, this is Amriel. She- She's an angel- one of my guardian angels, and she's married to Cas, they're like… Eternal partners or something, supposed to run Heaven now that God's gone," he said as he gestured to the petite blonde beside him. "Amriel, this is our mom, Mary."

Amriel stared at Mary Winchester with wide eyes- she definitely held a resemblance to both of her sons, and she exuded an inner strength that was enviable, but she also seemed lost and out of place. Realizing that she was taking too long looking at her, Amriel held out her hand and smiled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mary. You can call me Amriel or Elle if you'd like… Or Blondie, even. That's what Dean calls me sometimes," she shot a look at the man, whose mouth was full of fried chicken. He waved a chicken leg at her, grumbling something as he chewed, and Mary sent a glare his way.

"I didn't know my son was an animal," Mary said, her tone warning and motherly, and Amriel bit back a smile as she focused on the woman instead of the fact that her husband was ignoring her. Mary turned her attention back to Amriel. "So, the angel of May is married to the angel of Thursday. How'd you two meet?"

"We had crossed paths in Heaven before over the eons, but after all of the angels fell, we met at a Gas-N-Sip in Idaho," Amriel smiled fondly. "Castiel was human, I was weak, nearly powerless. We stuck together and helped each other through a lot."

"You're talking about him like he isn't right over there," Mary frowned, and Amriel rolled her eyes.

"He's mad at me, and obviously ignoring me. I'm sure if he could use his wings, he would've been gone by now," she said in response, looking over the woman's shoulder and trying to make eye contact with Cas, who still wasn't having it. "I have some research to do, so enjoy the rest of your meal. I'm glad I finally got to meet you, Mary."

The woman nodded at Amriel and watched the angel turn and leave the room. Tension still filled the air as Dean turned to Cas and waved his fork at him in annoyance.

"What the hell, man? I told you to make nice with her, not ignore her!" Dean growled, and Mary looked from her son to the angel in confusion.

"And what if I don't feel like making nice, Dean?" Cas snapped in response before muttering that he'd be in the archives if anyone needed him and leaving, his coat billowing behind him as he walked out of the room.

"Maybe I can talk to them," Mary suggested, earning confused looks from her boys. "I know I haven't been back from the dead for very long, but I'm still a mom, and I was married. Is this their first fight?"

"That we know of, yeah, and it's a big one," Sam nodded as Mary set a pie down on the table. Dean stared at the pie, and Mary merely smiled.

"I see. Do angels even know how to apologize? I'll be back," she told them, making her way back to the bedrooms so she could find Amriel first.


Mary Winchester had never dealt with angels, but she now found herself dealing with not one, but two. She had spoken with Amriel, getting her side of things and after hearing how she had let Lucifer possess her vessel so Cas wouldn't have to, and she understood why she needed the time to herself. She could understand why she ran when the world was ending. Mary didn't exactly agree with the way Amriel went about it, but she understood that she was an angel and was new to figuring out how to handle feelings. Even humans who had been on Earth for decades still couldn't figure it out.

When she spoke with Castiel, he was reluctant at first. He was angry, she could see it in his demeanor- his tense shoulders, his set jaw, and the way he avoided eye contact. Mary watched him play with the band around his ring finger as she told him about how marriages worked.

"Castiel, nobody's perfect," Mary said as she watched him thumb through a book vacantly, obviously trying to avoid this. "You're new to relationships, to marriage, right?"

"Yes, but-" he started, but Mary quickly cut him off.

"Then of course mistakes are going to be made. You'll annoy each other, or do something that makes the other angry. It's gonna happen. But you're not human, so those issues probably won't be that you leave the toilet seat up or that she never puts clothes away," she said with a small smile, thinking back to her years with John. "Because you're angels, I'm sure they're more monumental…"

"Like leaving as the world is ending," Cas murmured, and Mary nodded.

"Yes, and like human couples, you just have to suck it up and get over it. Amriel has admitted that she was wrong, and she told me that she only did it because she felt stifled and babied. Not just by you, but by my boys, too." Mary sent him a curious look, "You know she's stronger than you all give her credit for."

"Trust me when I say that I know she's strong. Elle is one of the strongest beings I've ever known," Cas said, finally making eye contact with the woman. "Which is why I'm upset that she took the easy way out and ran. All she does is run when things get difficult. I wanted to help her- she had Lucifer in her vessel for weeks. I didn't want her to be alone."

"Maybe that's exactly what she needed, though," Mary said thoughtfully, watching Castiel's eyes widen in confusion. "She runs a lot, you said?"

Cas nodded, "It's like when she goes into fight or flight mode during an argument, she autopilots into flight. Or if she thinks she'll be a burden, she leaves. I know she took care of herself in Heaven, but she has me now, and I want to help."

Amriel didn't seem like she would want to stick around when her emotions were running high. Mary got the impression that the blonde angel wanted to seem like everything was fine so she wouldn't be seen as weak or vulnerable. She briefly wondered if that was an angel thing.

"Do you think she knows how to ask for help? Were angels even taught that?" Mary asked, and Cas shook his head. "Don't you think that you'd want some time to yourself after not being in control of your own body?"

"It- it's not really her body, Mary, and that's not the point." Cas tried to explain, but shook his head, understanding what she was saying. "But yes, I get it."

The two had a staring match that Mary wasn't sure she was going to be able to win, and finally Cas nodded once, acknowledging that she was right and admitting that he didn't know what to say to his wife now.

"Just be honest. Accept her apology, apologize for being a jerk. Move forward, work on her flightiness. Tell her you love her," Mary said with a small shrug. "It's not rocket science."

"No, rocket science is easy," Cas grumbled, making the woman's eyes widen. "I'll speak with her. Thank you for your advice."


Cas knocked on their bedroom door lightly, only opening it when he heard a faint, "Come in," in response. He walked in and found Amriel standing in front of their dresser with her back towards the door, putting clothes away from the basket on the floor.

"I was wondering if we could talk," Cas finally said after closing the door behind him. He watched Amriel's shoulders tense, and she set the folded shirts she had been holding down before turning to face him.

"If that's what you want, okay," she shrugged, motioning for Cas to sit on the bed if he wanted to.

He shook his head and had her sit on the bed instead. Once she was seated, Cas knelt in front of her and took both of her hands in his. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking up at the blonde.

"I wanted to tell you that I accept your apology," he finally said, watching her eyes widen slightly before narrowing in confusion. "I accept your apology, but I'm also sorry. The entire time it took for you to come after the world almost ended, I stewed in my anger rather than let it go. I shouldn't have been so cold, I shouldn't have made you leave. It hurt so much to do that, but I was still angry, and I took it out on you. I don't know what you went through when you were possessed by Lucifer. I wish you had talked to me-"

"I couldn't," Amriel filled his silence, staring down at him as she willed herself not to cry. "I don't even know how to explain what I went through. Give me some time, and then we can talk about it."

"Take all the time you need," Cas told her softly. He reached up and cupped Amriel's cheek, running his thumb across her skin and smiling as he reveled in the feeling. "I'm sorry I pushed you away."

"It's okay, Cas. We both did things we're sorry for," she answered, setting her hand atop his, "This won't be the last time it happens. But I'll try to do better."

"The next time you want to run when things are hard, let's try to talk it out before you do," he suggested gently. "Just make me that promise, okay?"

Amriel nodded and flashed him a smile before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. Relief flooded both angels, their shared grace practically pulsing with contentment at the close contact after spending so long apart.

"I want to find Lucifer," Amriel said quietly into his hair, not sure if he heard her or not. "I want to find him, and I want to kill him for what he's done."

Cas pulled away and looked up at the blonde, shaking his head at her determination.

"Let's take a day or two to relax a little, then we can start looking for Lucifer," he suggested, rising from his knees and tucking her hair behind her ears, holding her face with both of his hands. "I promise he'll get what he deserves, but I'd like to make sure you're okay first."

Amriel nodded as much as she could and grinned when Cas pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Alright, if you insist," the blonde faked a sigh, rolling her eyes dramatically. She grabbed onto the lapels of his coat and pulled him in for an actual kiss, glad that things were better between them.


Cas left Amriel's side in the middle of the night, a restless feeling keeping him up. He didn't want to wake his wife, so he chose to wander through the bunker and check wards, just to make sure they were still intact.

He heard movement in the library and found himself heading that way, silently moving through the halls until he was in the entryway, where he found Mary looking through John Winchester's journal.

When Mary realized she was being watched, she sent him a tired smile that was quickly returned.

"What are you doing up, Castiel?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm always up. Angels don't need sleep," he explained nonchalantly.

"Wish I had that problem," Mary sighed to herself as Cas moved into the library towards the table she was seated at. She closed the journal and looked up at the angel, "Anyway… I think I'll go try again."

"Wish me luck," she said as she stood from the table and tucked the journal under her arm, smiling to herself when Cas mumbled out "Luck."

She stopped and turned back to look at Cas, calling out his name quietly to catch his attention.

"After you left Heaven, when did it start to feel like… like you fit. Like you belong here?"

"Honestly? I'm still not sure I do," Cas answered with a shrug. "But, I will say that when Amriel and I got married, I felt like I truly belonged. Your sons went to great lengths to make sure our day was perfect, and it truly was. I can show you photographs sometime…"

Cas trailed off, a fond smile on his face that made Mary grin as well. She turned around to leave, when Cas spoke again.

"Mary… You do belong here. Without you, I don't think I would have worked things out with Elle. You are invaluable," he told her honestly. "Thank you for helping me with Amriel earlier. Your advice was inciteful, and we're on our way to a stronger relationship because of it."

"Thank you, Castiel," Mary replied in a soft voice, a smile crossing her lips as she continued, "Keep working on being a good partner. You'll make a great father someday."

The angel froze, unsure of how to respond to the compliment. He could have told her that it most likely wasn't possible, but instead he flashed her a smile and thanked her.

Mary bid him goodnight and disappeared, leaving Cas to his thoughts. He wanted to do something for Amriel to take their minds off of everything that had happened, but wasn't sure what to do.

He sat at the table and pulled out his phone, searching Things to do in Kansas, and looking for a result that seemed the most interesting. Cas found an amusement park called Worlds of Fun that reminded him of the fair they had gone to when he was human, and he thought that she might enjoy that.

Cas purchased two tickets and made his way back down the hallway to find Amriel still asleep. He carefully got back into bed, not wanting to wake the blonde as he pulled the covers over himself and curled up against Amriel. With a deep inhale, Cas smiled at the smell of familiar lavender, glad to have her back in his arms as he finally let himself drift off to sleep.


Amriel awoke to the feeling of her hair being played with, and she immediately smiled. Things were improving with Cas, she thought as she felt his warm body beside her own, his grace reassuringly close after being so far away.

"What time is it?" She mumbled, wondering if they could sleep a bit longer.

"Nearly sunrise," Cas answered softly. "But it's time to get up, I'm taking you somewhere."

"I thought we were gonna lay low for a few days…" Amriel whined. He had been so adamant about not doing anything, and here he was trying to drag her out of their warm, comfortable bed.

Suddenly the fingers that had been playing with her hair were tickling her sides, making her curl up in a ball, fighting off laughter as she tried to pull away.

"Cas," she yelped, trying to breathe as he continued to tickle her. "Fine, I'm up!"

She heard Castiel's deep laughter in her ear and she quickly rolled over so she was on top of him now, grinning down at him before leaning in and kissing him tentatively, unsure of herself.

Amriel was thrilled when he kissed her back, his hands quickly finding their place on her hips and squeezing her gently.

As she trailed kisses down his neck, she heard Cas heave a sigh and felt him dig his fingers into her hair, pulling her back and shaking his head.

"Later, Elle. We have an itinerary to keep today," Castiel's stern tone made her roll her eyes, but she relented and got off of him.


"Worlds of Fun?" Amriel asked as they pulled into the parking lot outside what looked to be an amusement park.

The blonde looked from the signage to Cas, confusion all over her face as she tried to figure out what they were doing here.

"Yes, Elle. Things have been… difficult for us recently. I thought we could use a little bit of fun away from the bunker," he smiled at her, pulling the car into a spot and getting out. He could hear the sounds of the roller coaster cars running along the metal tracks and the screams of riders, and he shook his head slightly, wondering if this was truly a good idea.

Amriel got out of the car shortly after and asked, "Do you think they have funnel cake?"

"We'll have to find out," Cas told her with a smile, holding out his hand for her to take before they made their way through the parking lot and into the park.

It turned out that the theme park did in fact have funnel cake, and Amriel gorged herself until she couldn't eat any more. Cas dutifully went on all of the rides Amriel wanted to go on, and he even enjoyed himself a little bit. Roller coasters weren't really all that exciting to him, but he knew Amriel loved them.

"If you close your eyes, it kinda feels like flying," she told him as they exited the largest ride at the park, an enormous smile lighting up her face as they walked together.

Cas took her hand and squeezed gently, leading her through the crowd to the next ride as he said, "You'll fly again one day."

Amriel stopped suddenly, pulling Cas to a halt which forced him to turn and look at her. He noticed that her eyes were glossed over with unshed tears, and he immediately felt her pain course through him.

"Elle-" he started, but she shook her head to get him to stop before he could start.

Cas could tell everyone around them was annoyed that they were in the middle of a walkway, so he quickly pulled the blonde off to the side and hugged her tightly, whispering to her and saying that he was sorry.

He knew this was a sensitive subject for her. Cas wanted to kick himself for making her cry when he had brought her here to have fun.

Amriel finally managed to pull herself together and told Cas that she was okay. She pressed a grateful kiss to his cheek and flashed a small smile as she said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that. I just… I miss it, you know?"

"Of course I know," Cas answered, rubbing circles against her back as he spoke. "Do you want to ride it again?"

Her eyes lit up, and Cas knew he had his answer. He wiped away the tears that were clinging to her cheeks and smiled down at the blonde, swearing to himself that he wouldn't make her cry again while they were at this amusement park.

"Come on, no more tears. They're too salty," he teased as he leaned in and pretended that he was going to lick her cheek, only for her to back out of his grasp.

"Cas! That's so gross!" Amriel squeaked, laughter bubbling out of her and making his heart swell.

"Oh come on, Elle, you think that's gross? What about when I-" Cas quickly cut himself off when he realized that there were children around, so he quickly switched into communicating with her silently. "What about when I use my tongue on you elsewhere?"

The blonde shook her head and Cas grinned as she gave him a playful shove and said that he was being lude.

"I thought you liked it when I speak that way," he smirked, and Amriel heaved a sigh, conceding that he was right.

"Fine, fine. You've got me. Can we go on the rollercoaster now? There are still a few we haven't been on yet," Amriel said as she pulled out a paper map she had tucked into her pocket, pointing to the corner of the park they hadn't been to.


The rest of their day together had been filled with roller coasters, junk food, and laughter, and Amriel wouldn't have had it any other way. She was elated that Cas had done this for her, and didn't really want their day to end.

As they got back to the car after the park closed, Amriel heaved a sigh and glanced up at Cas, catching his eye and sending him a mischievous smile.

"Do we have to go back to the bunker tonight?" she finally asked, leaning against her door and giving him her best puppy eyes.

"How can I possibly say no to you?" Cas answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and the blonde grinned at him.

"I don't think you've ever been able to," Amriel shrugged, batting her eyelashes at him for emphasis, "But to be fair, I can't ever say no to you either. Not with that smile of yours."

Now Cas was grinning and it was Amriel's turn to be enraptured with him.

"Let's look up a hotel downtown and make a night of it," she suggested, and they quickly got on their phones to find something for the night.

They ended up at a boutique hotel in the heart of downtown Kansas City, with a large, comfy bed and a deep soak tub that Amriel was excited to try out.

The pair had dinner at an Italian restaurant a few doors down from the hotel that the associate at the check-in desk had recommended, then got drinks at a bar on the corner that they had spotted on the way over.

"I like when we get moments like these," Amriel said as she set two glasses on the table Cas had gotten for them. "Just the two of us. No Winchesters, no… drama."

Finally seated across from him, Amriel took a sip of her cocktail and looked at Cas, taking in how good his messy hair looked and how his eyes sparkled in the dim lights of the bar. He had skipped the trench coat for their outing and removed his jacket when they got inside, so now he was just in his usual white button down with his tie hanging loosely.

He looked absolutely radiant as he played with the edges of the coaster his beer sat on, and Amriel felt warmth spread through her chest. She watched him squint before turning his gaze onto her, a curious look on his face now.

She shrugged.

"I'm just… feeling a lot of love for you right now," Amriel said, trying to explain the surge of emotion he had just felt come from her.

"I completely understand, Elle," Cas smiled in return. "You know I feel it too, right?"

The blonde nodded, remembering their ever-present bond that she sometimes forgot was even there.

"Speaking of… feeling each other," he pivoted their conversation, "Did something happen to you while we were apart? I- I felt an intense pain the other day."

Amriel frowned, wanting nothing more than to shake her head and deny, deny, deny, but he felt it.

"I wasn't looking when I was crossing a street, and I was hit by a car," she started, before explaining everything that had happened with Amy's parents afterwards.

Cas looked at her with concern all over his face, and she merely shrugged, telling him she was glad it happened. She gave them peace that she couldn't have given them over the phone.

"I was worried about you. Please, try to look before you cross the street from now on. I know you're an angel, but you're not invincible-"

Cas suddenly turned his attention away from her, pulling his phone out of his pocket and staring down at it with furrowed brows, making Amriel lean forward so she could try and get a glimpse of what he was looking at.

"It's a news alert on a lead I've been following," Castiel told her, and a frown immediately crossed her face as he continued, "There are reports of a man with glowing, red eyes in Cleveland."

She knew they'd have to get back to this eventually, but didn't think it would happen this soon.

"Does that mean we won't be staying the night at the hotel?" Amriel asked, saddened by the prospect of not getting to take a bubble bath in the enormous tub.

Cas must've been able to sense her disappointment, because he shook his head and said, "I think it can wait until after check out tomorrow morning."