Hey guys, E.V. here. Thanks for holding out for as long as you have for the next chapter. It's my winter holiday and I've been enjoying it as much as I can. It's a right balance between writing...and, well, not writing. xD I'll attempt to work on and post more chapters for you all. Once again, I'm thoroughly grateful for your support throughout these last four years (yes, that's how long this story has been going on). I've been getting a lot of good character development so far. It's my goal to take my time to show character development but to also proceed at a good pace through the story. If you have any criticisms, please let me know! I know I've gotten some wonderful feedback in the past and have kept that in mind while writing for the future.

I really value fan fictions as a valuable opportunity to improve writing. However, just because I am open to feedback and criticisms does NOT mean this is the time to be cruel/mean/immature. Unless your feedback is helpful, honest, and mature, keep it to yourself.

That aside, thank you once again for hanging in this far! I'm still going to continue to be posting on and off, but I don't intend to abandon this story. I hope you all have had a wonderful winter season and have had a happy New Year!

This is my present to you all.

~E.V.~

Chapter Twelve

It's the Fear

Ice spiraled around her arms, up her arms, encompassing her torso, from her hands. The progression of the ice was fast, too fast for her liking, as if it—

-wanted to consume her—

-and she started hyperventilating, because she did not know what it wanted. She could not control it, it was—

-trying to control her—

-and that in of itself was frightening. She was hyperventilating. It was whispering, growling, pulsing against her body, spiraling down her chest. The ice's cold was biting, freezing, tasting her for—

-the weakness it could sense, the weakness in her heart—

-and the tears she was shedding, shedding unbidden, cascaded down her cheeks from her boreal blue eyes, froze before they could leave her flesh and the ice was—

-slithering down her sides, to her legs, everywhere she could feel, she could no longer feel, until she was immobilized, perfectly trapped—

-and she could sense that was what it wanted—

-it wanted this, it wanted her to give herself over to it, to give in, to let it go, release all her fears and inhibitions —

"You are made for great things," a voice with the sharpness of glacial ice breathed.

Elsa swallowed. Was she? Was she truly great? If she was so great, then why did she feel cursed?

"You are unlike them, Elsa, you always will be. You do not belong here, young one. You belong somewhere else."

She knew that this was true. Elsa was unlike others in her family, in her kingdom. A pang of loneliness resounded upon the cymbal of her heart. It rang and rang, echoing into the darkness of a far away place. The memory of the noise reverberated in her head; it would be something she knew she would remember far into the future. She had the feeling that it would be something she would not remember, the source of which time would wear away from her memory, winter floes eroding the edges of bodies of water. Not even Anna, her best and only friend in the entire world, would ever be able to understand, not even when they had grown together. She would be like everybody else, with no powers. Elsa would have powers, and her experiences would be distant from Anna's.

The ice encroached onto her throat, solidifying her into place. It was cold. Why was it so cold? She was used to cold, but this was different. This was not her ice. Yet…the ice's cold was comforting, akin to the warmth of a hearth warming a blanket-covered body. The ice tightly embraced her, exhaling its acute brumality into her ear.

"Become the ice. Let the ice become you. You are one. You have always been one…"

The young princess felt the truth in what the voice whispered to her. She and winter had lived side-by-side for all her short life. It had been born inside her. She had been taught to ignore its call, but now she could let it go…

The ice crawled up her throat, threatening to consume her. Elsa closed her eyes and breathed evenly, allowing the ice to consume her. Greedily, the ice slurped and crackled up her flesh, approaching her chin. It was cold, so very cold, making her shiver underneath its blanket, but she accepted it. She was part of it. Then, she could no longer feel the arctic grip of the ice ringing her throat. Elsa was enveloped by a freezing embrace, but the arms were warm-cold, like her aura, and completely engulfed her. Her eyes closed as she inhaled, and when she did, she detected the cool, snow-like scent of moonlight, the spice of pines, and the richness of the earth. She leaned her head into the presence holding her.

"Don't listen," murmured a deep and warm voice. It came from beside her ear. "You belong here, Elsa, more than you realize. Winter will always be part of you, but it isn't all that you are. You are meant to be here with everyone. You belong, more than you know."

Elsa clung onto the warm-cold, for it was comforting and familiar. She knew it from the beginning of sleep and the edges of dreams, protecting her and keeping her safe. She breathed in the presence's scent, soaking in its secure air. Then, the presence was gone from around her. She realized: she could move, she could breathe, she was free! Sitting up, she opened her eyes and grasped at her throat; the ice was gone from around it, no longer forming an uncomfortably cold vice. Elsa felt the stirring of a warm breeze and glanced to the side to notice that her window was open. Eyes still blurry from sleep, she made out a figure standing there upon the sill, watching her. The figure blended into the dark blue of the night sky. However, she made out something distant and white.

Before she could blink away sleep, she found that the struggle with the ice had made her exhausted. She blinked and laid back down, curling her arms underneath her head. Right on the precipice of dreams, she thought she felt cool fingertips softly brush her cheek.

"Els."

Elsa groaned.

"Elsa."

She groaned again and turned on her side, facing the opposite direction.

"Els!" the voice insisted. Something proceeded to tug on her nightgown.

Elsa jutted out a hand and made a shooing motion. "Go away," Elsa groaned.

"Elsa magic!"

Irritation eating at her brain, Elsa turned over to face Anna. The first sight she saw were Anna's large eyes glowing in the moonlight. They were glimmering hopefully, and all irritation that Elsa felt melted away. "All right," Elsa sighed, cracking a smile. She could not resist her sister. "Let's go have some fun."

Anna quietly squealed in excitement and did a little jig right where she was standing. Snickering, Elsa lifted a finger over her mouth. "Remember, we have to be quiet."

Anna imitated her older sister: she rested a pudgy finger over her lips and blew air around her finger, creating a small and wet whistle. Elsa shook her head, her smile growing wider. "C'mon, you goof," she said. The eldest princess threw back her covers and slid down from her bed, inserting her small, pale feet into her slippers. Elsa herded her little sister to the doorway.

When Anna cleared the doorway, a shimmer of remembrance sparked in Elsa's mind. She looked back over her shoulder at the window; it was closed. The dream she had had felt so real. She had been so sure that ice had encompassed her body, that somebody had saved her, and lastly somebody had tenderly brushed her face. Maybe it was just that: a dream.

Elsa departed their room. Just as she did so, the window shutter gently creaked open, and the spice of pine diffused into the room.

Originally, Elsa's birthday present to Anna had been the chocolate she had given her the other day. When they had their family picnic, Elsa had slipped Anna a handful of half-melted chocolates from the pocket of her skirt. Gleefully, the two sisters had eaten their favorite treat in secrecy. This was possible because their parents were too busy cuddling to notice them indulging in stolen chocolate. Elsa knew that Anna truly appreciated the present when she was considering her fingers and eagerly sucking on them if she found the slightest speck of chocolate. When she was chomping down on chocolate, Elsa lost all ladylike pretense and simply was. The dream she had just had reminded her of how strongly pretense could be drawn up, made reality. One might think that a child should not think such things, but she did. Really, she had to.

Elsa was not just a princess, but also first in line for the throne. She was expected to be everything her parents were and more. She was expected to live up to her people's expectations; at the same time, she was also expected to make her own way and define herself. This was not truly communicated to her, but communicated unconsciously and via side conversations she had heard. It was what was not said, what could be inferred, that Elsa picked up on. In her young mind, terms less complicated (but with the same meaning) dominated and imparted the importance of appearances.

The eldest princess resurfaced to reality when her sister clumsily grasped onto her hand with her fingers. Elsa fully captured the younger one's hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. Out of the corner of her eye, Elsa detected a big smile encompassing Anna's face, absolutely lighting it up from within. Some jealousy spiked at the corner of her heart: Anna could and would always be free to pursue her own interests. She would not have the full weight of the throne on her shoulders, unless something happened to Elsa. Elsa did not think anything would happen to her. Though, she briefly thought of what occurred with the trolls in the mountains: her journey through the snow and her imperviousness to the elements around her. The thought of that type of imperviousness sent an abnormal thrill of invincibility through her. She endured what few to no people could: she could survive extreme temperatures without freezing to death. As she thought that, the spike of jealousy she felt towards Anna disappeared and thawed into sweet pride and awe. For once, Elsa noticed something amazing about her powers, something that did not weigh her down.

Hand in hand, the sisters tiptoed down the hall, past their parents' room, through the various winding hallways, and came to the main staircase. They descended the main staircase and entered the main hall. From there, Elsa nudged Anna in the direction of the Great Hall, where they had previously played. Elsa did not know why she chose that place; it could have been because it was rarely used and hardly frequented by the staff. Also, it could have been that there was little furniture and much space. The furniture that did take up space was stacked in the corners and sides, so it would not get in the way. For what they planned to do, the Great Hall was the perfect location.

As before, moonlight filtered down from the windows around them. Elsa turned around to face Anna. Lifting her eyebrows, Elsa whispered, "Are you ready for some magic?"

"Yea, snow!" Anna cheered in a hushed voice.

Elsa had to admit: Anna was getting better at her indoor voice. Anna loved seeing and playing with what Elsa's powers could create. She also knew it was something she enjoyed but were not necessarily supposed to be doing. Because of this, Elsa thought that Anna knew that it was important for her to be quiet. She might not know a lot of words yet, Elsa thought, but she says a lot through what she doesn't say.

Before she started using her powers, Elsa paused for a beat. She remembered the dream she had had before Anna had awoken her. The dream had been extremely vivid and very scary in the beginning. There was much fear seemingly expressed towards embracing what could be her true, happy self. A pinch of anxiety knotted right below her sternum. While lifting her pale hands, she noticed that they were trembling. For a moment, Elsa did not believe that she should use her powers, especially for something as silly as this. It could be dangerous. Someone could get hurt. Anna could get hurt. All the warning bells were blaring in her mind.

"You are unlike them, Elsa, you always will be. You do not belong here, young one. You belong somewhere else."

The higher, icy voice from her dream rang throughout her mind. As she thought this, she felt her cold aura trickle down through her. Cold magic spiraled out from her hands and misted into the formation of colored spikes. Unlike other times, Elsa could feel this cold; as it passed through her and down her skin, it nipped along the way. The spikes formed around Anna and jutted out towards the ceiling. Inside, the spikes flared incandescent colors of blue, red, and purple. Frightened by the spikes, Anna cried and ran towards Elsa. "Elsa…Elsie," she whimpered, shaking with her hands. "No, do fun magic. No fun. Els."

For a few seconds, Elsa felt to be in a trance; she did not respond to Anna. Anna continued shaking her until Elsa snapped to reality in front of her. Immediately, her hands fell atop Anna below her, and the magical flow spiraling out from her hands halted. With one hand atop Anna's head, Elsa lifted another to cover her mouth. Where Anna had been, the spikes she had created formed a semi-prison. Upon seeing them, Elsa was sure that, if she had continued, she would have trapped Anna inside of them. Anna had run over to her at the right time.

Elsa knelt to the ballroom floor and engulfed Anna in her arms. She pressed her lips to Anna's ginger hair and whispered, "I'm sorry, Anna. I didn't mean to."

In return, Anna wrapped her small arms around her sister and squeezed. The little one could sense the fear in her voice. Anna had feared what her sister was feeling, indicated by her entranced gaze. Elsa had allowed herself to be momentarily possessed by her fear. Hugging Anna tight to her breast, Elsa gazed upon her glowing, frightening creations.

If she could create this in one small moment of fear, she wondered, what else was she capable of?

She cuddled Anna to her heart. Meekly did her younger sister cry, her little arms wrapped around Elsa's neck. Into her neck, Anna murmured, "Elsie, ok. Elsie, ok."

Anna sensed Elsa's fear, especially after Elsa had broken from her trance. Of course, Anna was naturally frightened by the spikes, but she was also worried about her sister. Elsa supposed at some level she had understood that what she had seen was not her, not usually her. Seeing something else than a happy, sweet, and good Elsa might have thrown Anna off. It was a side of Elsa that Anna did not recognize, and Elsa had never intended on Anna seeing her like that.

After many minutes of quiet comforting, Elsa leaned in and whispered to Anna, "Look what I can do." Anna turned around in her arms, looking questioningly at her sister. Elsa directed her towards their front, where the foreboding spikes were still jutted out towards the ceiling. Their ends were as deadly speakers piercing through the civilized, smooth hardwood floor. However, they no longer throbbed with internalized incandescent lights of blues and reds. The colors had long since faded, Elsa figured, with the abating of her fear.

Not only can I survive bad cold, Elsa pondered, but I can create scary ice that glows.

It was more frightening than fascinating. Elsa had no intention of repeating the scenario. Instead, Elsa lifted a hand and, feeling the calm inside her, waved a hand in an arc in front of the ice spikes. The ice cracked-veins shooting through the effulgent surface and breaking deep into its marrow—and, with a sound like shattering glass, came tumbling down onto the ballroom floor. As it shattered, the ice evaporated into a fine icy mist that rose into the air. Anna flicked her head about in wonder and clapped her hands. She was relieved and glad to see those scary ice spikes disappear. They were something that belonged in nightmares; they did not deserve to be real.

Elsa used the materialized spike mist to create ice. She waved her hand, and the mist fell atop the hardwood floor. Instantly, a thick, glimmering sheen of ice was formed. Softly squealing in excitement, Anna broke from her arms and slid over the icy floor. Elsa cast her eyes to the door and listened for movement. The spikes' destruction had not been a quiet one, and she was worried that somebody would come to investigate. Alas, it seemed as if nobody had heard them, which was good for them. They had their sisterly snow secret for a little bit longer. Although, Elsa did not know how long that would be. Somehow, she knew that they were pushing their luck: the more they did this, the more chance there was of discovery. Not everybody in the palace would be asleep when they played.

Pushing those dark thoughts to the edge of her mind, Elsa slid after her sister and, stumbling, managed to grasp Anna's hands in hers. Semi-gracefully, Elsa and Anna skated on their respective slippers and bare feet. Anna remembered well her promise to keep quiet; when she laughed gleefully, it was a sweet, soft escape of air from her lungs. The two swept over the ice-covered floor and quietly giggled to themselves. They spent many minutes doing this before they fell back into a downy bed of snow. Up and down, back and forth, they moved their arms and legs, creating cute snow angels upon their snowy bed. For many minutes, the sisters just lay there atop their snow angels. Abruptly, Anna picked herself up and ran into the middle of the Great Hall.

"Elsa," Anna called, "snowman! Snowman snowman snowman!"

Giggling madly, Elsa lifted a finger to her lips, "Shh! You'll wake somebody."

"Snowman," Anna quietly insisted. "Do magic! Magic snowman!"

"All right, all right, I'm coming." With a sigh, Elsa lifted herself from the ground and slid over to Anna. "Okay, ready?"

"Ready!"

Elsa breathed in evenly and breathed out. She remembered the words that the presence had spoken to her in her dream: "You belong here, Elsa, more than you realize. Winter will always be part of you, but it isn't all that you are. You are meant to be here with everyone. You belong, more than you know."

When the presence had said that to her, it filled her with wholeness, while the softer, colder voice had filled her with discomfort and unrest. It was with the former, not the latter, that Elsa channeled. The scent of pines spiced the air, and for a moment she nearly believed the dream was real. No, she thought, it's real. If I dreamed it, it's real. It's here, in my head, and it's real to me.

Feeling this, believing in this, she began to create their snowman. As before, the cold aura shot through her body and worked its way through her limbs. Unlike the pure ice of her dreams, that she could feel, she did not feel this. It cooled her flesh, but it did not threaten to freeze her. The cold was an extension of her, another limbed that pulsed through her with its life and movement, just as much as her arms and legs. With the deeper voice ringing in her head, she flung her hands out and tumbled them together. Instinctively, she knew what to do: the motion of her hands tumbling over each other rolled the snow in front of them into balls. Before their eyes, the balls grew larger; some snow balls remained smaller. Elsa lowered her hands, ceasing the use of her powers, and looked semi-proudly onto her work. She wanted to be able to stack the snowballs herself, rather than doing it easily with her powers.

Anna slipped a cold hand into Elsa's and shivered from the contact. Elsa snapped her eyes down at her sister. "Anna, what's wrong?" she breathed quickly. Her heart hitched in her chest.

"Hand's cold!" Anna observed, giggling softly.

"Is it?" Elsa wondered.

Anna nodded, her loose ginger hair flying in front of her face, and the brightest, sweetest smiled caressed her lips.

At the simple sentiment and Anna's sweet expression, Elsa too smiled. "Well, what do you expect? I have ice powers, after all!"

That only made Anna squeeze Elsa's hand. This action served to thaw the ice which had been forming in her heart since the nightmare had occurred. Sometimes she forgot what it meant to have one person—Anna—accept her for all that she was. Sometimes one—just one—was enough to rid the fear…if only for a short while.