Short chapter. This one is kind of out there, but I felt like highlighting some of the differences between Orihime and Ulquiorra. So, here it is.

Chapter Rating: T
Chapter warnings: none

|Chapter 14|

The pet shelter is incredibly noisy. Most days I simply ignore the loud barks and yowls of the animals, but on the weekends when young children and their screaming are added to the mix, I find that I am unable to find peace of mind. The constant rumble of sound puts me on edge- it makes my stomach twist and my head feel murky. Los Noches had never been so loud as this- not even when we were under attack. The sound of buildings crumbling and the floors falling in is a pleasant one; these every-day noises of small creatures are not.

Children baffle me. They are incredibly small- some tiny, some miniscule- and yet they are able to produce more noise than any siren. One would thing that such fragile creatures would be instinctively quiet to avoid predators, but in this world they seem to do all they can to be noticed. Screaming, crying, constantly babbling. They some with slime and drool and are generally just disgusting little creatures.

And Orihime loves them.

"Awwww, Ulquiorra, look at that little girl!"

The creature she is referring to has her face covered in food. Macaroni and cheese from the looks of it- there is one elbow macaroni noodle stuck on her chin and dried yellowish-orange everywhere else. It is unsightly. She had one hand through the fence and is cooing loudly at a dog with black spots.

"Her parents should attend to her." I find myself saying. "They will have no one to blame but themselves should her fingers be bitten off."

This, of course, alarms the woman. With a quick cry of, "Oh, no, you're right!" she rushes at the child and calmly draws her away from the fence. The girl instantly bursts into tears, tiny brat practically screaming about how she 'wants to touch the doggy' but Orihime is unmoved by the display. She calmly puts a hand on the girls head and talks quietly, smiling, until the girl is convinced that everything is okay.

"Now," Orihime says, "Would you like to pet a puppy?"

The girl nods her head, teary eyed.

She turns to me. "Ulquiorra, do you have any puppies we could take out so she can pet it? I'll make sure they're both good."

"Of course." I say, unsure of how the woman so easily controlled the tiny monster of a girl. "One moment." I march past her and to the fence the girl had thrust her hand through, quickly walking in. The dogs swarm my legs right away, used to my presence meaning attention or food, and I carefully pluck one of the small animals form the throng. I slip form the fence and out to wear Orihime and the small girl are waiting, carefully placing the dog on the floor to watch it bolt to Orihime. The animals here all know her well- they associate her presence with unfaltering attention and treats. Naturally, they all love her.

I go back to sweeping out an empty stall as the woman and the odd child chit-chat, both petting the puppy, who looks ready to keel over at so much unwavering attention. Its brothers and sisters are going crazy back in their own pen, all wishing to be out with the dog I plucked from the mix for Orihime.

The girl's parents eventually wander back to her, chatting with one of my female co-workers. They thank Orihime for allowing their daughter to pet a dog and for watching her, to which Orihime replies that it was no trouble- her pleasure, really. She is so odd. Where it I who had ended up watching her, I would have been sure to tell them of how irresponsible they were to leave their young beast alone, and then would have further gone on to tell them what trouble it was to look out for the girl.

I suppose that would be 'rude' as Orihime calls it. I fail to see how it being rude is a bad practice so long as one is being honest.

"What are you thinking about?" Orihime wraps her arms around me form behind, smiling with a gleam in her eye. "You look grumpy."

I place a hand over the two of hers, where she has them linked over my stomach. "Those two humans were foolish to leave their brat alone and take advantage of your kindness."

"So grumpy." She teases me. She kisses my neck, which makes me instantly transfer into a slightly better mood. So maybe she does show everyone affection, but I would be a lair if I said I did not get the most of it. I'm selfish with her, so it makes me glad. "Do you not like kids?"

"They are disgusting and crass."

She giggles. Orihime lets go of me and then steps around to my front, grinning while she links her hands behind her back. She rocks back and forth on her heals. "Everyone was a kid once, Ulquiorra. Even you were a kid."

"Ridiculous." I say. "I was born from darkness in a pit of black. I was never a child. I have always had a sentiment mind and sense of being."

She laughs out loud at that.

I narrow my eyes. "What do you find humorous about that, woman?"

She lowers her voice into a mocking rumble. "Darkness. No parents." It's her 'batman' voice, I realize. She goes back to her normal tone, then. "Before you were a hollow you were a person, silly. Once you were a little kid, Ulquiorra."

"I am a collective of thousands and hundreds of souls. I was never a child."

"Okay, my mistake. You were tons of little kids once."

I narrow my eyes. "Woman-"

"I was a kid once."

"That's not hard to believe." I scoff.

"Are you saying you would have disliked me as a kid?"

I pause. For a moment, I think the question over, and then hesitantly answer. "There is no way I can answer this without either offending you or sounding like a pedophile."

She laughs again, shaking her head. "Oh, come on, Ulquiorra! All I'm saying is that kids aren't so bad. I mean, I've seen my fair share of really bad kids, but there are lots of good little kids too!"

"That girl had a noodle stuck to her chin," I remind her. "Even the 'good' children, as you say, are filthy little things."

"Not always. If you had a kid to take of, you'd keep it really clean and make sure it had good manners, wouldn't you?"

"… I suppose." Assuming that I didn't abandon the thing to allow it to thrive on its own. That's what hollows usually did, anyway.

"So most kids are a product of their upbringing."

"Then most humans are trash."

"It always circles back to that, doesn't it?" She puts her hands on her hips, still teasing as she grins. "Am I trash, Ulquiorra-kun?"

"I said most, not all."

"So if I had a kid…" She pinks. "It wouldn't be trash?"

"… Perhaps not."

"Good!" She turns on her heals, going completely red. I will never understand her and her sudden shifts in mood. "I- I'm going to go check on the goldfish!"

"But woman-" She runs for the door. "… we have no goldfish."

The slamming of the door behind her is my only reply.

What an odd creature she is.