A/N: well my fiance was concerned about whether or not Jason ever got out of the friend zone (I'm not sure why). so just in case anybody else was wondering that too... lol.
If this doesn't add anything for you, feel free to ignore it. I'm still not sure if I like it.
/
Even six months after coming back to the States, Jason still wasn't sleeping well.
Shortly after coming home, Jason had moved out of his mom's house and into Daisy's small home outside the city. It was a home she'd nearly shared with Grant... but now it belonged to him and his love. There had been talk, there had been mutterings from friends of the family. But Jason wasn't about to let something like petty rumors distract him from his goal: building a relationship with Daisy.
Their relationship was hard work. Daisy and Jason were two headstrong people and they clashed nearly every week. But Jason didn't mind the work. All the effort he put into staying with Daisy was totally worth it. Especially when she would fall asleep in his strong arms... it was completely worth it then. Lying in bed with Daisy in his arms just reinforced that he'd made the right choice.
Being with Liza had been work too... but Jason realized that it had been work because he hadn't wanted to be in that relationship. Being with Daisy was work because he did want to stay with her. He needed her in his life. When Daisy wasn't around, Jason could feel all those uncomfortable emotions creeping back into his head. He could feel guilt, shame, anger...
And the memories, of course. The memories never went away. It was just like Daisy had said... he couldn't forget. The flashbacks would hit him hard sometimes... He'd see blood dripping from his fingertips, knives buried in necks, bullets embedded in his own flesh, fire destroying everything and everyone he cared about... so much death and destruction. Jason had never thought of memories as things that could physically hurt a person, but these images did just that.
Only one thing helped... being with Daisy. Because when Daisy was nearby, Jason could feel joy again. He could feel happiness, he could relax and have fun. The horrible images in his head would get farther away and become less painful. Daisy was his cure for madness.
Liza had been right about one thing. Jason had grown up a lot while on Rook Island. Daisy would tease him about that sometimes, calling him an old man. That was usually when Jason would scoop her up in his arms and carry her to the bedroom to show her how much of an "old man" he really was.
Jason fell more and more in love with her with each passing day.
But sometimes when Daisy worked late at the hospital, Jason would try to fall asleep without her and it never ended well...
Jason could hear Daisy screaming in the distance...
"Daisy!" Jason yelled as loudly as he could.
He was in a fog, he couldn't see anything. He could feel his breath rasping in his lungs as he ran, looking for Daisy...
The fog cleared, and there she was. Jason came to an abrupt halt. A horrible scene met his eyes... He could see himself standing behind Daisy, his good arm wrapped around her neck, holding a knife to her throat.
Jason stared into his own green eyes. He could see the anger lurking just below the surface there...
"Please," Jason managed to croak. "Please, don't hurt her."
His twin growled, pressing the knife into Daisy's pale neck. A thin red line appeared there. Daisy whimpered.
"What's wrong with you?" the phantom Jason snarled. "You think you deserve her? She should be with Grant!"
"Grant's gone," Jason said quietly to his clone. "I promised Grant I'd take care of her. I won't let you hurt her!"
"You're hurting her," the other Jason hissed, still digging the knife into Daisy's soft skin. "You're a twisted wreck of a man, a pathetic shell of a human being... you think you're good enough for a goddess like her? You'll only drag her down."
Jason wanted to scream, because everything his twin was saying was true. He was a hollow man. His mind had been shattered on Rook Island. It was a miracle he'd been able to arrange the pieces of his broken soul into something functional.
But still, at the end of the day... he would never be the same again.
"Jason," Daisy whispered. "Why are you doing this?"
"He doesn't deserve you," the other Jason hissed to her, not wavering for a second. Then Jason locked eyes with himself. "You can barely hold yourself together. What makes you think you should have her?"
Jason felt his hands trembling as he looked at Daisy. Though he himself was the one holding the knife to her throat and she didn't understand why, he could still see the trust in her eyes. She trusted him, she believed in him...
He couldn't win against himself with strength alone. But there was one thing that might disarm his demons.
"I love her," Jason said, completely unashamed. He had absolutely no problem admitting it. "Since the first time I saw her... I loved her. I wanted to hold her, to give her everything she's ever wanted..."
Daisy seemed to grow brighter in his mind's eye... the other Jason started to fade.
"When she was dying from poison in my arms, I would have given anything to save her... anything," Jason continued faintly.
And he would have, he would have done anything, eaten any number of hallucinogenic mushrooms to save her... whatever the price, Jason would have gladly paid it.
"And when Citra wanted me to kill her... I would have rather put the knife to my own throat than hers," Jason finished, watching as the phantom Jason sighed and lowered the knife.
"That's it..." the phantom Jason murmured as he disappeared.
Daisy reached out a thin hand to him and whispered his name. Jason stepped forward and threw his arms around her, lifting her off her feet.
"I love you, Jason," she murmured softly to him.
"Jason..."
Jason's green eyes snapped open. He could feel himself sweating under the sheet he'd gotten himself tangled in.
Daisy Lee was hovering over him, her blonde hair hanging in her face. She'd crawled into bed with him while he was thrashing around.
"H-hey," Jason stammered, trying to work his arms free from the damp sheet. "Home already?" he added as if he hadn't just been freaking out in his sleep. But he knew his girl wouldn't be fooled in the slightest.
Daisy's lips touched his in a warm and tender kiss, and his slightly panicked breathing slowed.
He could just make out Daisy smiling faintly as she helped him untangle himself from the covers. She climbed into bed with him, wearing nothing but a tiny lace thong.
"Bad dreams again?" she said softly.
"Yeah," Jason sighed. His arms reached around Daisy's tiny waist, drawing her into his sweaty chest.
He could still remember pieces of the dream even as it started to fade in his mind. One thought stuck in his head. In all these months together, while they struggled to work out what their relationship was going to be, they had never once said 'I love you' to each other. Was she waiting for him to say it? Or did she simply not love him the way he loved her?
Daisy rolled over so she was facing him. Her blue eyes reflected the moonlight coming in through her bedroom window.
"Want to tell me about it?" she said simply. Jason knew that if he said no, she wouldn't push him or nag at him. He loved that about her. If he had nightmares, which wasn't uncommon, she would always ask if he wanted to talk. Most of the time, he'd say no. But not this time.
"I just... I was thinking..." he was babbling and he hated it. He knew that whatever he said, Daisy wouldn't laugh at him or make fun of him. She took him seriously. But he still felt foolish for bringing this up now...
Daisy snuggled into his chest, her head resting on his shoulder.
Jason took a deep breath. How could he think Daisy didn't love him? How could he even let the thought enter his head, especially after all they'd been through? He pressed his mouth to the nearest part of her he could reach, which happened to be her forehead.
"You were thinking?" Daisy prompted him softly, her warm breath on his skin the only real thing in the world. Jason made a vague noise.
"Hmm," Daisy said, her hands straying to his chest. "Not talking, huh?"
She shifted under the sheets until she was straddling him, one leg on either side of his hips, her face inches from his. Jason, who had been sleeping naked, felt his manhood slipping against the soft fabric of her thong and he was instantly hard.
"Well, I have ways of making you talk," she whispered, her lips descending to meet his. Jason happily returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her into him.
I love you so much, Daisy... I love you so much it hurts when you aren't here.
Her mischievous hands strayed to his length, gently stroking him, causing Jason to groan softly into their kiss.
Oh you play dirty, woman...
Jason hooked his thumbs into her thong, pulling it down over her firm thighs. Daisy paused in her kiss only for a moment to kick off the tiny garment.
In one easy motion, Jason flipped Daisy over, pinning her beneath him. Jason could see the trust in her eyes as she looked up at him. As Jason leaned over to continue kissing her soft lips, his good hand slipped between her smooth thighs to find her wet and waiting for him. Daisy spread her legs a little bit more, welcoming him in.
Jason trailed butterfly kisses up her neck as he eased a finger inside her, feeling her warmth surrounding him. She made a sound of pleasure in his ear as he kissed her. Jason slipped a second finger inside and started to move them, feeling Daisy's wetness coating him. He knew exactly where to touch to get her going. Soon, he had her panting and quivering beneath him.
How can you trust me? How can you love me so much? I know you do, but I still can't believe it some days...
And yet, somehow... she did. She loved him, trusted him. Even when he'd become a murderous demon, she still hadn't been afraid of him. And she still wasn't.
It occurred to Jason that in some ways Daisy was just as crazy as he was. That thought made him smile.
"You're enjoying this way too much," Daisy breathed as her muscles clenched down on his hand. But she ruined it by grinning at him.
"Yeah, I am," Jason said, grinning back at her. But sometimes he wondered if he wast still a little bit sick... sometimes he just wanted to claim her, to let the whole world know that she was his. This goddess belonged to him.
Will you allow me this one small slip back into madness? I want you. I want to call you mine.
Daisy dug her nails into his shoulders, pulling him back down to her mouth. He felt his manhood rubbing between her thighs...
Jason couldn't stand it anymore, he had to have her. And she must have known how much of an effect she was having on him. He grasped his length, slowly easing himself inside her.
Heaven... being with Daisy was like being in heaven. Jason slowly made love to Daisy in her bed, loving the way she held onto him and the way she welcomed him inside her...
She let him make himself part of her. Like this, he was whole again.
Afterward, Daisy lay quietly in his arms, her head resting on his chest as if listening to his heartbeat.
"So... what were you thinking, Jason?" Daisy murmured against him. Jason shifted uneasily. He should have known that she wouldn't forget about that.
"How can you still trust me?" Jason asked, thinking about his dream. His dream self had said that he would only drag Daisy down...
Jason felt Daisy tense up and he knew that she wasn't happy. But then she relaxed, pressing her cheek to his chest.
"You're no monster, Jason," Daisy whispered. "You have a human heart."
"What's that mean?" Jason said without a trace of sarcasm.
"I tried to tell you before on the boat... you're still the same guy," Daisy mumbled sleepily. "You're different now, yes, but you're still Jason Brody."
"And... you're happy with me?"
Daisy lifted her head off his chest to peer suspiciously into his eyes.
"You think I'm not happy?"
"I hope you are," Jason said, staring back at those gleaming sapphires that she used for eyes. "I'm trying."
Daisy smiled slowly. She knew what he was trying to say. I'm trying to be normal, Daisy. I'm trying to leave all that mess behind me, to be a good man for you.
"You always have," she said gently. "Remember how you caught me when I slipped and almost fell off the bar at that club?"
"Yeah," Jason said, smiling internally at the memory of Daisy shaking it under the flashing lights. So hot... "I couldn't forget that if I tried."
"I remember you in the crowd, smiling at me like... like..." Daisy paused struggling to find the right word.
"Like I loved you?" Jason blurted out before he could stop himself.
Daisy's eyes lit up. Jason had never been more happy that he was so impulsive.
She leaned down and kissed him again, sucking on his lower lip a little before pulling away. Jason's hand unconsciously rubbed her butt. Daisy let her head rest back on his chest, still listening to his heart.
"You loved me even then, didn't you?" she said finally.
Jason exhaled, tightening his grip on his girl. There was no point lying now. No point to trying to cover up his feelings, and no point trying to hide things from Daisy, especially when Daisy was one of the very few people he trusted.
"I did," Jason admitted. "I loved you from the moment I first saw you, I just couldn't admit it, even to myself."
Daisy made a content and happy humming noise, like that what was she'd been waiting to hear...
"I love you too, Jason," she said to him, her hand searching for his. Jason helped her by grabbing her hand with his mangled hand, lacing his fingers with hers. He still needed to hold onto her. "Everything is so different now, isn't it?"
That was certainly true, everything was different... Daisy's boyfriend had been stolen unfairly from her. As much as that made Jason angry, he knew there was no going back to the way things were. He also knew that he'd never be able to make up for that loss. Jason only hoped to make her as happy as he possibly could since Grant could no longer be there for her.
That was his focus in life now. Jason was still fighting, alright. He was fighting with himself, but he was also fighting for love. He'd been wrong in thinking that the madness in his soul was all he had left... he still had, as Daisy put it, a human heart.
"Yeah it is, and... I just want to make sure you're okay," Jason said gently, rubbing small circles on her back. Daisy laughed, kissing his cheek quickly.
"Really?" she said lightly. "You want to make sure I'm okay? I should be the one asking you that."
"I'm fine," Jason insisted. And he wasn't lying. He was happy, he really was. Yes, he was scarred, he was damaged goods, but... Daisy loved him. That was all he needed.
"Good," Daisy whispered in response. She was obviously exhausted, she could barely keep her eyes open.
Jason held Daisy close as she drifted off to sleep. She had promised him that he would never have to sleep alone again if he didn't want to, and she'd done her best to make sure she was there for him. Jason had promised Grant he'd take care of Daisy, but he'd also promised himself that he'd love her as well as Grant had.
Right now, Jason felt as if he'd kept that promise.
"I love you," Jason said quietly before closing his own eyes.
/
A/N: thanks to Shotgun Larry for your review, it was very encouraging =)
I'd be curious/happy to hear anyone else's thoughts if you are so inclined. Please be kind lol.