Chapter three

Culture-shock

"Commander?" Shepard blinked. "Huh?" she turned to see Jacob elbowing her in the side. "You okay Shepard?" he asked. "Uh… yeah! Why wouldn't I be?" she replied. "Well you have just been staring at this guy for the last minute so…" "Have I?" "Yep. You might want to actually start talking to him." Shepard turned and looked up at Ezraiel. Who, she noticed, was pointing a rather large gun at her. "Um… sorry about that." She said rubbing the back of her head. "I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance - " A cough cut her off, loud as a gun-shot in the nervous silence. Shepard sighed, glancing back at Miranda who watched her expectantly. "Formerly of the Alliance navy" Shepard looked at Miranda. "Happy now Miranda?" Miranda nodded briefly. "And why are you on my ship?" Ezraiel asked coldly, the gun never even twitching. "Well-" Shepard began. If she told him the truth he could go ballistic with his ballistics, but he'd probably be even angrier if she lied. Better find a happy medium. "We found your ship just floating through space. It had taken a huge amount of damage so we decided to search it for any survivors.", Now all that she needed was for him to not ask - "And what would you have done if you did not find survivors?" … well fuck. She sighed. "We would have looted everything that wasn't welded down and then returned later so we could un-weld the welded stuff." She held her breath, awaiting his answer. Ezraiel sighed and lowered the gun a little. "I suppose I can't fault you for that. We wouldn't have needed the ship if we were dead, anyway". Shepard smiled faintly. Score one for the Commander. Ezraiel glanced around the group. "So what do you plan to do now you've found us?" "Well," Shepard began. "I planned to take you guys back to our ship and then try to get you guys home once the other guys are awake and", "Other guys?" Ezraiel interrupted his gun lowering even further. "Yeah" Shepard said. "We found a couple of other survivors in the hangar. They were pretty beat up, but alive none the less." "What did they look like?" Ezraiel said quickly, a hint of what could have been hope entering his previously emotionless voice. "Well one guy had this sort of silvery steel coloured armour with tentacles growing out of the back and the other had blue and gold armour with a little head-dress on the helmet." Shepard replied, watching Ezraiel closely. "Yes!" a voice crowed over the comm's.

Shepard turned sharply to find the warrior in red armour turning to the pink one and slapping him on the shoulder. "What did I tell you Xeros? I knew it would take more than a little explosion or a few daemons to kill off Isaac and Gandling!" The pink one chuckled. "Perhaps, but an explosion and a few daemons could have been enough to end them. Never the less, I am glad that I have been proven wrong this time." The silky voice of 'Xeros' replied. "We can celebrate the supposed survival of our allies later." A third, far deeper voice, growled. "Once we are certain these heathens haven't killed them in their sleep." Shepard coughed loudly. "You guys do realise we can hear you, right?" There was a long pause. "Well done Solomon," Xeros said eventually "very well done. You've managed to insult our allies within five minutes of meeting them. That has to be a new record," "Probably" 'Leon' said glancing at 'Solomon', who muttered something in a language that Shepard's' communicator wouldn't translate. Shepard turned back to Ezraiel, who was shaking his head slowly, but she reckoned that she could hear a faint chuckling.

He stopped shaking his head as he noticed her watching, and coughed. "Ehem, I take it my men are safe?" The moment of levity was apparently over. "Yes," Shepard said "I had them taken back to our ship for medical attention,"Ezraiel nodded slowly. "They were injured?", "No, but their armour was damaged and they were out cold. I wanted to make sure we could help them if there were any medical problems," There was a long pause. Eventually Ezraiel said" I suppose I must thank you for those precautions. You may have saved one third of this vessels surviving crew. I believe myself and my men will take you up on that offer of a journey back to our home,", "What offer?" Shepard said, before her memory caught up with her. "Oh, that offer. Well yes we'd be happy to help. We'll just call our shuttle and get us all back to our ship." With that the group began to head back down the hallway. "Sooooo" Shepard began, as Miranda called Cortez "mind telling us who you are? Where you're from? You look human in shape, and you speak English, so you're probably human.", "Yes actually I do mind." Ezraiel answered, glancing at her. "Until I am certain my men have come to no harm, our origins are ours to withhold. Until then you can… speculate." And with that he turned away from her, and strode up the hallway.

The trip back to the hanger was a short, quiet one. At least on the outside. Inside Shepard's head thoughts bounced around, like five year olds who'd been given too many sweets. Who were these guys? They looked human, at least in shape, but then again so did the Asari and they weren't exactly perfects copies of a human. So, aliens then? It was possible, but unlikely. After all they could speak English and hadn't freaked out on seeing her. But… melee weapons? Save the for occasional old Krogan mercenary no one really used melee weapons. But standing behind her were three heavily armoured bastards USING melee weapons. And the ship, the armour, the… the everything! She'd never seen anything like them, except…. except in her dream. Her reverie was interrupted by the sight of Cortez flying into the hangar as they walked in. The Kodiak's doors opened and Shepard clambered in, followed by the rest of the group. That trip too was almost as silent as the ship they'd left behind. Even the dull throb of the engines seemed dulled and muffled before the silence of half a dozen brains sizzling away. When they finally reached the ship, the loud thump of the dropship hitting the floor of the Normandy's hangar was exactly what everyone needed to jolt them out of introspective wonderings.

Ezraiel was out of the Shuttle almost as soon as the doors had opened… and staring down the barrels of half a dozen rifles only a little bit after that. "Shepard…" Ezraiel said calmly. "Miranda…" said Shepard, somewhat less calmly. Miranda glanced left and right trying to find someone to say the name of, but found no one. "It's just a precaution," She said. "In case our 'friends' get any ideas.", Shepard sighed. "Well" she thought "that's the first impressions ruined". Aloud she said "Put those guns down!", "But commander" the foremost soldier began. She locked her glare on him like a torpedo. "Now" she snarled. Very slowly the barrels descended. Shepard redirected her glare at Miranda who stood to attention and said nothing. "Follow me" she said to Ezraiel, and she headed for the lift, pointedly ignoring Miranda and the armed men. "You should teach your men who is in command." Ezraiel said, glancing pointedly behind him at Miranda. Shepard sighed. "Believe me I've been trying with that one." As they clambered into the elevator, she turned to the group and said "Now I must warn you, this is an incredibly slow elevator." Solomon snorted. "We have faced worse than that. Truly, I fear for your men if such a thing scares you." "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you" Shepard muttered as she hit the second floor button.

Shepard was used to the mind numbing slowness that was the most notable trait of the Normandy's elevator. She'd come up with little games to play in her head to pass the time, but it was even better these days, due to the fact that Cerberus' scientists had seen fit to give her a few apps. It was far easier to whittle away the boredom laden minutes of the elevator with solitaire than it was with "mental pong". Her new 'friends', however, had no such defences. After the first minute they were fidgeting and jostling awkwardly, as everyone did during their first time. So she was unsurprised when Xeros leapt out of the elevator, as the doors opened on the crew deck. "Thank the Gods!`" he screamed, kissing the solid floor of the slightly less cramped hall. "How long did that take?" Ezraiel murmured to Shepard. "About five minutes" She replied, still watching Xeros. He'd said "Gods", not "God". Even if it meant nothing, she'd still have to remember that. "Only five?" asked Ezraiel, apparently incredulous at the idea. "Feels far longer, doesn't it?" Shepard said. "Like an eternity" Ezraiel mumbled, before glancing down the hall. "Now, where are my warriors?"

Shepard led them to towards the medbay, fervently hoping that Miranda hadn't decided to have a half dozen guards point guns at the unconscious members of Ezraiel's "Team". Fortunately Miranda seemed to not have gone that far, as the only guard there was leaning against the wall and seemed preoccupied with that most noble of activities – boredom. He stopped trying for the "singular most bored sentient lifeform" award when Commander Shepard came into view, followed by four individuals who looked like they could stop a flood using only their forearms. He leapt as much to attention as he could without looking like he'd been stung by a wasp and attempted a salute. I say attempted because he had forgotten he happened to be holding a rifle, which was now becoming acquainted with his skull. A loud yelp and an attempted rubbing of the head later the butt of the rifle was getting to know the guard's, now very sore, feet. Shepard tried not to look embarrassed as the man started hopping on one foot, clutching the other and swearing loudly. Key word there is "tried", primarily because she was almost certain that she had failed in that regard. She diverted her attention from her hopping subordinate and entered the medbay.

She was immediately greeted by the site of Dr Karin Chakwas, the ship's resident medic and formidable older woman (which is a must have on any vessel). As Shepard entered Chakwas turned in her chair. "Ah, commander. I'm glad you came by I need to talk to you about"-She began, but stopped very rapidly. It was at this point that Shepard had the sensation of being loomed over. It wasn't often someone out loomed her, but most of the people who managed it… well, let's just say the last thing to out loom her was a several mile long, cybernetic, cephalopod, intent on destroying all sentient life. So she decided that, since Ezraiel was slightly more intimidating than the late Sovereign (owing to the fact that he was more alive and more able to punch things) a brief introduction was in order. Shepard moved to the left and spoke, as Ezraiel properly entered the room. "Dr Chakwas, this is…" she paused suddenly aware that, although he closely resembled the "Ezraiel" from her dreams, she was unsure if he actually was an "Ezraiel". For all she knew, he could be a Steve. Fortunately Ezraiel seemed to have danced this tango before. "Ezraiel Caran" He stated flatly, "And I believe you have some of my men in your custody". Chakwas nodded, a little nervously, and lead Ezraiel to the beds on the other side of the room, on which were the two figures they'd rescued from the wreck. Shepard's eyes feel on the first of these beds. This bed was currently home to Ezraiel's blue friend – "Gandling" if she remembered the dream correctly – who lay there, motionless and helmetless. "Well," she thought "that's one mystery solved".

The face she saw was undoubtedly human and undoubtedly old. However, the features were still strong enough that you could probably build a castle on it. And as for the eyes… she stopped and stared, with her own two eyes. Humans are known for many things, being one of the newest races in the galaxy, having a seat on the Citadel council and the invention of curry pizza all being pretty high up there, but humans are most well known for having two or fewer eyes. Which was why Shepard was currently rather worried at the sight of an eyelid (and presumably an eye behind it) sitting in the middle of Gandling's forehead. Her mild shock was interrupted by the good doctor's dulcet tones. "Your men are fine, at least physically, but their brain activity is very low. I'm not sure when they'll wake up." she was saying to the metal coated figure beside her. He merely nodded at this revelation. "They are alive. That is enough for the moment." Ezraiel turned away from the bed to look at Shepard. "Now that I am certain my men are safe I think it's time we knew where we are, and then we can return home."

It didn't take long for them to get to the command centre, it would have been a little faster but Xeros flat out refused to get in the elevator. In the end he'd stated that he'd stay with their comatose comrades, so they wouldn't do anything "silly" when they woke up. Given the gravity of the situation, she doubted that this meant the custard down the trousers type silly. Then again who knew with these guys? Wouldn't be the first time she'd been proven wrong about someone. "Speaking of which." She thought as she entered the CC to behold the sight of Miranda, standing to attention, and desperately trying to look the part of the innocent little angel. She only really succeeded in the "angel" part and, even then, the only angel she actually resembled was Lucifer. Shepard ignored the woman, and led the group up to the galaxy map. "This is a map of the known galaxy" she began, but she was interrupted by a sharp intake of breath behind her as the galaxy map flickered into existence. She turned to look at the group, who all seemed to have their eyes fixed on the map. Leon coughed sheepishly. "Umm… the entire known galaxy?" he asked quietly. "Shepard merely nodded. " Is there anything here?" he continued, stepping up and indicating a reasonably sized area of the galaxy, near the galactic core. She magnified the area and examined it. "Not really." She said. "A few garden worlds and other slightly less habitable planets, but not much else." "Is there anything unusual about those planets?" asked Leon, sounding slightly worried. "No. Why?" Shepard replied, getting a little worried herself. "Oh no reason" Leon replied quickly, injecting his voice with false humour. "But, seeing as we're exchanging home world coordinates, mind showing us yours?". Shepard stared at him for a few seconds. Eventually she said "I can't give you the coordinates, it's against protocol. But… I can show it to you." She brought a hologram of the earth up. "This is the home world of my people, Earth." She began. Then, for a reason she couldn't fathom, she added "But some people call it "Terra"" Ezraiel and his men were silent for a long time, helmets fixed on the rotating globe. Shepard coughed awkwardly. " So… why did you guys want to check out that sector. Is that where your home world is?" Slowly the helmets moved to stare at her. "No commander, I can honestly say that our home world is not there." Ezraiel said eventually. Then, silent as spectres, he and his men turned and headed out of the room, back to the elevator.