Recently I've gotten into Death note again :P Immediately I fell in love with the L X Light pairing, so naturally I couldn't not write a fanfiction about it. Especially since I had so many ideas revolving around the show constantly ignoring me.

Anyway, this chapter is a bit dull considering I had to establish a time and show you all how Light is taking a different approach to regaining his memories in this story than how he did in the anime/manga.

The first part of this story takes place sometime during the time in which L and Light were handcuffed together and the second part is just a day or so after they capture the Yotsuba Kira. It is there that the story changes and diverts from the original plotline, so you should expect that. This is an AU 'what is' setting where instead of reverting back to his original train of thought about Kira's righteousness he begins to wonder if what he is doing really is Justice. This is thanks to spending so much time around the task force and L.

So, yeah, I think that just about covers it. If you have any more questions as to the setting than don't hesitate to ask.

Light groaned aloud and dropped the folder of papers he was rifling through onto the desk, his hands coming up instead to rub at his temples, a headache already forming.

He had been going through Kira case papers for hours now and he could feel his anger rise at the person who was committing all these heinous crimes. He just couldn't understand how anyone in their right mind could kill so many people so easily… I mean… Did they feel no guilt?
He shook his head slightly, mentally knowing the answer.

No… Light supposed they didn't… But then again, even Light had a part of himself that agreed with the individual's actions… After all, it wasn't as though he was killing purely innocent people… Well, that is besides the FBI agents, which still annoyed the brunette, seeing as he thought their deaths were completely unnecessary.

But, despite the few unrighteous deaths, he had to admit that this Kira fellow did seem to harvest several ideals that were similar to his own. The mass murderer saw the world as rotten as it was and was attempting to change it by wringing out the bad and a part of the teen admired the human for it.

However the justice side of Light reprimanded himself for even beginning to think that what the murderer was doing was right by any means, I mean, even a criminal's life was worth something, wasn't it? They were still human. Just who was this guy and what made him think that he could play god? And just how the hell was he managing to kill people?

He groaned inwardly again in frustration and rubbed harder at his temples, closing his eyes. Absolutely none of this was adding up and Light didn't like it. He hated not knowing something and he could swear that this case would prove to be his undoing.

"Is something wrong, Light-Kun?"

"No, I'm fine…" The teen mumbled, begrudgedly opening his eyes to look at the raven haired detective perched in the chair beside his own, his black eyes gazing intently at the stressed teen.

"Light-Kun does not look fine. In fact Light-Kun looks unhappy. Is it because he misses killing people?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Ryuuzaki, but for the last time I am not Kira, so stop talking about it already."

"My apology, but Light-Kun is still a suspect so I am afraid I cannot stop."

"Isn't there any way I can prove to that that I am not Kira?" The brunette growled, struggling to keep his anger at bay. Certainly the detective was annoying but he in no way deserved to be hit… At least not at the moment… Besides, it would be unfair of the teen to take his anger out at the monotone man, no matter how irritating he could be.

"As I have told Light-Kun before, if he is as innocent as he says then he will have no need to prove anything to me. Instead he must just allow time to pass until we discover who Kira really is." L explained passively, plopping a cherry into his mouth and chewing on it before mumbling the next line, his words muffled by the fruit, "However I am almost certain that Light-Kun is Kira, so I suppose that shall not be helpful to his case."

"You know I can hear what you are saying."

Seething, the younger of the two men clenched his fists and narrowed his chocolate brown eyes at the insomniac, briefly wondering just how many times he could punch the man before either Watari intervened or L kicked back

"Yes, I am aware that Light-Kun can hear. I was not trying to make it so he could not."

Tching, Light stood up from his chair and began to walk away, the chain tugging at his wrist the only thing stopping him from leaving the room.

"Where precisely is Light-Kun going? Did he forget that he is handcuffed?"
"No, Ryuuzaki, I did not forget." The teen sneered, his expression apathetic as he glanced over his shoulder at the crouched detective, "It is late and unlike you I actually need sleep."
"I see… I forget that Light-Kun is unable to go without sleep like myself…"
"Just because you can do it doesn't mean it's healthy, Ryuuzaki."

"Yes, so Light-Kun has said."
Rolling his eyes, the brunette waited as the detective switched from the desktop to the laptop before following Light into the bedroom.

Silently the raven unlocked the teen's handcuff, allowing him to change into pajamas, his gaze never leaving the boy, even when he assured Light that he had turned around so that the teen could have his privacy.

After all, L didn't understand why the teen valued privacy so much. He had seen the boy naked countless times when he watched the Yagami household for those few days. It wasn't as though it was something new. However the detective would be lying if he said the view was old. In fact, Ryuuzaki figured that he enjoyed watching the slender man change, captivated by his soft, almost childlike skin that looked nearly sinfully perfect.

The young Yagami was a beautiful specimen, that the insomniac could not deny nor did he try to, after all, he was not blind. Anyone with eyes would agree with him on that one. It was nothing more than an observation. He certainly did not think about touching that flat stomach or that strong chest or even those lovely lips that looked like they would taste like the sweetest cake….

Certainly not...

Quickly turning around when he saw the man he was admiring move, the detective turned his attention to the far wall, pretending as though that was what he was looking at the whole time.

"Okay, you can turn around now, Ryuuzaki."

Soundlessly the raven did just that, slightly disappointed to find that the teen's tight shirt and pants had been replaced by a black looser tee and red lounging pants with skulls imprinting the length of the legs and waistband, clothes that had been the curtesy of L when Light first moved into the building with him. L had figured they fit the murderer well.

"How does Light-Kun like his pajamas?" The detective asked, feigning innocence as he walked over and perched on the bed, his laptop temporarily forgotten as he stared blankly at Light.

"They're comfortable." The brunette admitted, "But I don't like the skulls. Very funny, Ryuuzaki."

"Thank you, Light-Kun, but you know better than anyone else that I do not do jokes."
"You could have fooled me…"
Irritated and beyond exhausted, Light crawled onto his side of the bed and laid down, listening soundlessly for the familiar tune of L typing on his computer to lull him to sleep.

However this time, for some reason, the room remained eerily quiet, even after minutes of waiting for some sort of noise.

Confused, the former Kira rolled over to glance at Ryuuzaki's side of the bed, about to ask the detective what he was doing, only to find the man in question gazing intensely at him, his thumb pressed up against his mouth as though he was in thought.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes, Light-Kun?"

"What are you doing…?"
"I am doing nothing, Light-Kun."
"I can see that…"
Feeling slightly awkward by the steady look directed at him, the teenager attempted to ignore the sensation in favor of going to sleep.

It was only when he was on the verge of falling into unconsciousness that L spoke again, waking Light up once more.

"Light-Kun…?"

"Mm…" Turning to lay on his back tiredly, the teen opened his eyes just enough to look at the man beside him, "Yeah? What is it, Ryuuzaki?"

"I was wondering… What is Light-Kun's opinion of Kira?"
Groaning outwardly at the question, Light tiredly rubbed at his eyes, his sleep ridden mind in no shape to process all his thoughts of the serial killer.

"I've already told you what I think of Kira before… Can't this wait till tomorrow…?"

"No, Light-Kun, it cannot."
Sighing in defeat, the seventeen year old merely shrugged and looked at the insomniac with lazy eyes,

"I think that although his actions are no doubt meant to be for the good of mankind his sense of justice is seriously flawed. I mean, I get why he feels like criminals need to die, after all that's not too different from my own ideals, but that still doesn't give him any right to play god like he is. A human's life is precious no matter what they have done. That's why we have to catch him."
A few moments of silence passed between the two, making Light wonder if the other was even listening to him when suddenly another voice cut him off.

"I see… I knew Light-Kun would say something along those lines…"
"Then why did you even ask me?" Light asked, growing aggravated.

"Because I wanted to hear Light-Kun say it himself… You know, Light-Kun certainly is a very good actor. I could almost believe him."
"What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki? I'm not acting." He insisted, "That's what I really think."

"Perhaps you are right…" He didn't sound convinced.

"I am."

"I certainly hope Light-Kun remembers that…"

The teen blinked, his annoyance swiftly switching to confusion once more as he glanced over at the quirky man,

"What?"

"I hope Light-Kun remembers those ideals when he is given his powers as Kira back…"

"Not that again…" The former Kira complained, "Doesn't that idea sound ridiculous to you, Ryuuzaki? I mean, I would think that someone would remember if they were a mass murderer, don't you? How could I be able to forget something like that?"

"That is what I am trying to figure out, Light-Kun."
"Well, good luck with that."

Huffing, the brunette turned back around so his back was facing the raven, silently indicating that he was done with this discussion.

Dozing back off once more, the teen almost missed Ryuuzaki's last words as he returned to typing on his computer, making Light wonder for a brief moment whether or not he was hearing things as he finally faded into the darkness,

"Remember how Light-Kun feels now. Remember how he believes Kira's actions are unrighteous. Maybe then when Light-Kun gets his powers and memories of being the first Kira back he will finally see how flawed his own ideals are…"

My ideals are… Flawed…?

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"Yay! We've got him; we've got Kira!" Matsuda cheered, throwing his hands up in the air in excitement, "That means the case is closed, right? We won!"
Not even bothering to spare the airheaded Japanese agent a glance, the detective removed the spoon hanging out of his mouth to reply,

"No, Matsuda, as I have said that was not the original or second Kira. Higuchi was merely the third Kira. That means that the first and second Kira are still out there somewhere."

The detective looked pointedly over at Light at his last words and the teen merely rolled his eyes in response, deciding not to reward the childlike man with a response.

After all, everything was going just as he wanted right now. He once more had his memories and regained ownership of the Death note. Almost all suspicion was cleared of him being the first Kira (or rather that was what the task force claimed, however Light figured that L still saw him as a number one suspect) and Misa would return to killing criminals soon, no doubt giving the task force a run for their money.

Everything was going according to plan, that is, except for one thing.

"Remember how Light-Kun feels now. Remember how he believes Kira's actions are unrighteous. Maybe then when Light-Kun gets his powers and memories of being the first Kira back he will finally see how flawed his own ideals are…"

For some reason L's words kept resounding in his head like a broken record, refusing to leave him alone no matter how hard he tried to ignore them.

Ryuuzaki's words didn't matter to me, he reasoned, his gaze staring blankly ahead, After all he doesn't even know what he's talking about. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my justice. It is the right thing for the god of the new world to think.

The world was rotten and it was the job that was entrusted to him to wipe it clean and start all over. Because of him the innocent would live happily and the good people would not be victims to the bad that would take advantage of them.

The bad would no longer prevail in his new world, that much he knew, but still he couldn't help but feel as though what he was doing was… Evil…

He remembered what he had thought after he had first killed his two test subjects, the first by heart attack to see if the Death note was real and the second to see just what it was capable of. He could just vaguely recall the sense of guilt that relentlessly coursed through him as he very well neared a nervous breakdown.

He had just killed two people. Yes, they were criminals but they were still lives; human lives. He was a murderer… He was a thief… He stole two lives that day and became nothing better than the criminals he so detested…

At the time he had an epiphany about how what he was doing was actually not bad, seeing as he was only taking the rotten people out of the rotten world, not the innocent, but now… Now he knew better.

He had killed thirteen innocent police officers… They were not criminals, they were like him. They spent their lives helping those in need because they wanted to clean out the world.

The only problem was that they were getting nowhere. Instead of killing them they would just send them to jail for a little time out before releasing them again just so they could go back to doing what they were before, only this time with more excitement and more planning so that they would not get caught again.

They followed the laughable system and got nowhere with it.

That was the acceptable version of Justice, but his justice got such better results.

The bad would stay bad no matter what they went through, so he was doing everyone a favor by killing the scum that the government had previously just slapped on the wrist and told them not to do it again.

But… Regardless of his reasoning he still couldn't help but acknowledge the new feeling in his gut that told him that he was following tainted principles.

Just when the hell did that feeling get there? It sure wasn't there before.

He supposed it was what was left over from when he lost his memories and thought that over time, it would fade away until it became virtually nonexistent….

But for some reason he felt as though if anything it was just going to continue to grow…

Damn it…

You did this to me, didn't you, L?
His ideals were changing and he just knew it was because of L and his so called perfect justice.

'It must be a trick…' The teen thought, his eyes narrowing as he shifted his gaze to the detective happily gorging down his cake beside him, 'This was all your plan; to get inside my mind. That's why you said that to be a few weeks ago, wasn't it, Ryuuzaki?'

Well it was working, Light couldn't deny it. His resolves were not as strong as they were and it angered him to no end.

I cannot let L convince me otherwise of my plans. I have to create this new world… After all, if not me, then who? Who else would be smart enough to fool everyone else like I can? Who else could pass such flawless judgment on those who sinned? No one! No one else could do it! It had to be him!
For a moment he couldn't help but wonder if no one else did it because they were unable or if they were just too smart to fight a losing battle.

Stifling an irritated groan, Light glared at the innocent looking detective staring idly at his work, his eye twitching in slight irritation.

For the first time since he picked up the Death note Light questioned his motives and his sense of Justice and he blamed it on L.

Shit, now what was he supposed to do? He couldn't continue making a world he wasn't completely invested into and it was already far too late to turn back…

Wasn't it?

Damn you… Just what the hell are you doing to me, L?

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Two more last things before I stop talking. I hope the characters aren't OOC. I tried to keep them IC and I think I did pretty well, but please, tell me if they are off. I always try to stay very in character with all of my stories.

Finally this story will be a bit darker than I usually write, so beware of that. Considering this is the dark anime death note and all I couldn't not make it a little sad, but that won't be until the action picks up in later chapters, so enjoy the tameness while it lasts.

Hope you enjoyed.