A/N: I never understood why Shepard didn't have any facilities in her private quarters. It made sense to me, so I wrote some in. A big thanks to all who followed, favorite, and reviewed this piece. It was a lot of fun for me to write. I hope you enjoy the end!

…Commander…

The voice was muted and distorted, as if it had traveled a vast distance. It flowed through the darkness like a weak wave not powerful enough to pull her to the surface, leaving only faint ripples of awareness in its wake. Within seconds she began to doubt its existence and allowed the dark calm to pull her back under completely. The comfort was all-encompassing, and she didn't want to let it go.

"Hey Shep, are you in there?" Joker's voice filled her cabin, finally successful in pulling her to semi-wakefulness.

"Yeah Joker, I'm here. What do you need?" As is the tradition of every person ever awakened by a call, she tried to make it sound like she had been up for awhile despite the fact that her eyes were still firmly shut and hidden under her arm. And as is always the case, she failed miserably; her words slurred together and her voice was rough with sleep.

The bedding conformed to her nude body so perfectly it cradled her, the warm comfort too perfect to resist the lure of slumber. She began to drift off once more, unable and unwilling to resist.

"… should know we're about an..." The familiar voice pulled her back once more, but she didn't hear any of the words. She was just alert enough to feel it; the movement was subtle at first, little more than a blanket settling. She was about to write it off to a small movement on her part when something heavy landed on her hip and started to make its way up her body. Her shout of panic cut Joker off mid-sentence.

There was no time to think; she reacted with pure instinct. One arm flailed about desperately in an attempt to kill whatever face-hugging vermin she was sure had somehow made it past the decontamination procedures and into her room. Her hot breath fogged up the cool metal wall she was somehow pinned against; whatever was in her bed stood between her and her escape, so she had to move fast and forcibly. Pushing off the wall with all her might, she threw herself across the bed for the relative safety of the floor only to run right smack into a solid mass along the edge of the bed. It didn't even slow her down. Her momentum threw the mass over the side ahead of her. The blankets tangled around her waist as something else – something warm and strong – shot up and grabbed her wrist, dragging her along.

"Oh-shit-oh-shit-oh-shit" Shepard yelped as she tumbled over the edge of the bed, her voice barely masking the solid thump and low moan that escaped the mass upon impact with her just a half a beat behind. It was all over in a matter of seconds, but that little additional time, combined with the adrenaline coursing through her veins, woke her better than all the coffee on the ship could. Panic instantly gave way to embarrassment as her eyes focused in the dim light. The strong features she had memorized in secret over the past few months contorted as Kaidan struggled to catch his breath under her.

"Uh… what the hell was that?" Joker's voice cut through the silence, a mixture of laughter and concern.

"I fell out of bed." Shepard yelled over one shoulder as she untangled herself from both Kaidan and the covers as quietly as possible.

Joker's laughter instantly filled the cabin, masking the gentle groan from the floor as her partner in crime rolled onto his side. Strong arms covered his face as he cradled his head, and that was the only part of him covered. Noticing that made her want to stare at his enticing form, but giving in even slightly only made her feel worse. Completely embarrassed and exposed, she squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in one hand as she took a deep breath and gathered the blankets around her bare body. With a subtle nod of her head, she looked up to face the chaos of her creation. Kaidan still lay naked on the floor; his tan, muscular body shook as it wrapped around her legs. Concern bubbled in her gut, but she found it nearly impossible to focus over Joker's laughter echoing through her room, not showing any signs of stopping.

"Is this an emergency, or can you give me a few to regain a shred of dignity?" Shepard squeezed her eyes tight as she spoke.

"It's going to take more than a few to recover from that – for both of us." Joker choked out between cackles. "You know where to find me." His laughter continued on for a few moments before cutting out abruptly.

Shepard dropped to the floor the second the room was silent. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" The apologies flowed freely but received no response. I've really done it this time she chastised herself. Damning thoughts of all the possible worst-case scenarios raced through her head; convulsions from brain damage caused by blunt trauma stood at the top of her mental list. She rolled Kaidan onto his back in a panic, prepared for the worst.

Toned muscles trembled under his tan skin as he turned over, his head the last to settle. His strong arm slowly fell away from his face. Kaidan's dark eyes found hers. Tears of barely contained mirth threatened to spill over as his body shuddered with silent laughter.

Shepard collapsed at his side in sheer relief, but shot him a dirty look for good measure. "You scared the shit out of me," she grumbled.

"I scared you?" he chuckled in mock disbelief as he gestured to his current position on the floor. He was going to say more, but it died in his throat as she punched him lightly. Shepard's bottom lip protruded outward, shaking slightly as her guilty conscious caught up with her.

Kaidan took one look at her pout and lost it. The silent chuckles turned into a deep, throaty laugh and the room warmed with the sound. Shepard smiled despite herself as Kaidan gently lowered her down next to him.

"You know, you could've just said 'good morning'. Or 'hey asshole, it's time for you to leave' if that was the message you were sending." Kaidan teased as he pressed his forehead against hers.

A soft, almost shy smile played along Shepard's lips as they gazed at one another. "Good morning," she murmured coyly, and then closed the small gap.

Her heart burst as his warm lips pressed against hers, the sweet music filling her head once again. It was everything she had remembered from the night before, but bittersweet as well. They both knew the time had come, but neither one was ready.

"What time is it?" Kaidan asked with a hint of sorrow to his voice as he pulled back. "I should probably not be here when the next shift is up."

Shepard searched blindly for her clock on the table above them. Finally victorious, she pulled it to her face and frowned. Rising up on one arm, Kaidan shot her a questioning glance so she turned the device towards him – it was dead. Confusion knitted her brows; she couldn't figure out what had happened until she caught the not-quite-guilty smile from the man next to her. A shiver crawled down her spine as images from the night before filled her mind, complete with the sparks flying from her clock.

"We broke the damn thing," she muttered in surprise. "So I have no idea what time it is. Your guess is as good as mine." Shepard paused and cocked her head to one side with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "But anyone seeing you leave here will know exactly what we were doing if you walk out looking like that."

Kaidan's usual textbook perfect appearance was nowhere to be seen. A dark shadow of a beard covered the lower half of his face and his wavy mane stood on end in several places. Suspicion would be aroused from across the ship if he walked anywhere looking like that. And there would be no doubt if anyone got close enough to actually smell him. The gentle scent of her vanilla mixed with his usual musk, and those did nothing to cover the more obvious scent.

"Why don't you use my facilities to get ready while I chat with Joker? That way you aren't obviously doing a walk-of-shame… just in case someone sees you leave. Or is anywhere on this level." She winked at him with a sly smile. "Supplies are in the closet. Help yourself."

Kaidan silently gathered everything he needed as Joker's voice filled the room once more.

"Finally find a bit of dignity, Shepard?" Joker teased. He was no longer laughing, but his smile colored his voice. Kaidan paused long enough to shoot a dirty look to the ceiling, having not forgotten the story from the night before. Shepard silently laughed and waved him away.

"Shut up, Joker. What did you want?"

"Oh… not much; just wanted to let you know we're about an hour out. Well, less than an hour now," he responded nonchalantly. Kaidan froze, one hand on the door to the private bath, and turned to face Shepard. They both shared a panicked look as Joker continued.

"An hour? Why did you let me sleep so late?" There was no use trying to hide the alarm in her voice. She had never slept in while on duty before, and the mere thought of it made her sick to her stomach.

"Are you kidding? You haven't seen you the past few weeks, I have; you looked like hell. You clearly needed this time, and we all agreed to leave you alone as long as possible. An hour seemed like a reasonable amount of warning."

Shepard stared blankly at Kaidan, looking for any reaction at all. He shrugged slightly and nodded a silent agreement with their assessment. This time was desperately needed, and they were both better prepared for the day because of it.

Joker continued on, unaware of the reaction he was receiving. "I figured you would want a little notice so you could take care of a few things before the mission – you know, like getting dressed, eating… and I'm betting you'll want to take a shower." There was a teasing note to his voice that made Shepard instantly suspicious. She tried to swallow, to push the lump in her throat down, but her mouth was instantly dry.

"And what, exactly, do you mean by that?" Her voice was slightly higher than usual, with an almost imperceptive shake.

"Nothing. Why?" The pure innocence was too perfect to be real. Joker paused for just a moment for effect, as he didn't wait long enough for an actual answer. "I just know your routine before missions." He sounded earnest, but there was a teasing tone underneath that she knew all too well.

The room fell silent. Shepard and Kaidan stared at one another, unsure what to do or say.

"Well… thanks for letting me know, Joker. I'll be up there soon." She decided to just continue as if all was well.

"Bring me a snack on your way up. I'm starving."

Shepard began to relax a bit. Her guilty conscience must've been working overtime; it made her think Joker was toying with her, implying he knew something. She shot a relieved smile to Alenko that he returned with a nod.

"Oh… and if you see Lieutenant Alenko around somewhere, can you send him to the storage chamber? Nobody's been able to find him all day." Joker paused, letting it sink in. "Pressly was getting something for Garrus and got himself locked in somehow, and nobody else can figure out how to open it. Tali said only Alenko could figure it out." Joker's mischievous laugh filled the stunned silence of the room. "See you guys in a bit." He chuckled as he signed off.

Shepard sat heavily on the bed, her legs unwilling to hold her. Kaidan abandoned the bathroom for a moment to join her, neither sure how to proceed.

"So… everyone knows." Kaidan finally broke the silence.

"Yup. And they locked Pressly up to keep him from finding us." A stunned laugh escaped her lips.

"Does this mean I can kick Joker's ass? Or do I owe him so much for this that I'll have to call it even."

"I think this means we both owe him, as well as everyone else involved. Looks like shore leave is on me." She sighed, unsure how she felt about it all. No… she knew how she felt. They protected her – both of them. She loved her crew.

"Speaking of shore leave…" Kaidan smiled bashfully. "Do you have any plans? We both know this," he paused, gesturing between both of them with one hand for effect. "… can't continue on board. But we can do whatever we want on leave."

"I was hoping you would tell me what my plans are." Shepard smiled, relishing surrendering total control for once.

"I think we can figure something out." Kaidan turned to her, a twinkle in his eye. He pulled his hand gently through the bright tangle of her hair, smoothing the bed head ever so slightly on the path to the nape of her neck. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled and leaned in. "I think you'll need this," he whispered as he slowly turned the dial on her amp. That one small action was so intimate, so familiar; it made her physically ache for him. The recognizable tingle crawled across her skin as the power gathered once again.

Shepard let little sparks bite along his skin where their bodies met, teasing him ever so slightly as she closed the gap. The chaste kiss she laid on his lips held promises to be kept as she leisurely wound her arms around his neck. She slowly turned the dial on his amp and her skin tickled as it gathered power once again. They were both ready to face the day.

Kaidan pulled back with a satisfied sigh. "I know we can't leave together, but there is nothing stopping us from getting ready together. How big is your shower?"