a/n: god, you don't know how excited i am to be writing this, lol. first chapter is going to be centered around erwin and levi to properly introduce what's about to go down, but for the most part, the story will focus around the 104 kids.

while i do have my personal preferences regarding pairings in snk, there's no guarantee that they'll end up being endgame. i'm going to be focusing mostly on the development of these characters, so if two people feel more suited for one another, that's probably the direction i'm going to be going in. there'll be a little more to that, but i'll delve into explaining what i mean when the time comes. c;

also, brace yourself for a dorky erwin because dorky erwin is my fave

edit: (05/07/2017) just a quick warning for some people! there's a bit of a spoiler for chapters 51/52 of the manga regarding krista. i don't think that they've addressed it in anime yet, so just proceed with caution! if you're worried about the spoiler (like, whether or not we're talking about the same plot point or not lmao), feel free to shoot me a pm and i'd be happy to discuss it with you! other than that, please enjoy~

-—pre-production: brainstorming, logistics, and casting—-
"I'm eighteen, you prick, I can do whatever the hell I want."

Levi's not really sure when or how he became friends with Erwin Smith, but he knows that they've been together for as long as he's willing to remember and he supposes that that alone is good enough.

It's not enough, however, to explain how the blond managed to drag him to the opposite side of the country at four in the morning, force him into a decaying corporate building, and lock them both within some kind of office without getting killed.

"Erwin. Remind me why the hell I'm here."

The man doesn't even look up from his position at the desk. "Again? That's the sixth time this hour. And this hour just started fifteen minutes ago."

"We've been in here for seventeen hours now," Levi seethes, "And you've had me urinating in office shrubbery."

A carefully sculpted eyebrow is raised. "Is that all you've been doing to my office shrubbery?"

There is a slow pause as the shorter man regards his words, slow repulsion becoming evident on his features.

"You can defecate in your own goddamn plants, Smith. I'm here, against my will, and the only thing I can do to make myself feel better is not allow you to use my feces as plant fertilizer—and I'm pretty sure that speaks volumes about my current shitty situation."

Erwin crinkles his nose in disgust, and Levi allows himself to feel a twinge of pride at causing the expression to appear on the seated man's face.

"So where exactly have you been shitting, Levi?"

Said man flushes a bright red and whatever pride he had left is swept away immediately. Scowling, he pushes off from his position leaning on his friend's desk and pivots on his foot in order to face him.

They hold one another's stares for a good, solid minute: Levi all glares and annoyance and wanting to get back home to his bratty cousin so that he can eat something other than beef jerky and Mountain Dew; Erwin all ready to win the staring contest.

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, knowing that they are his friend's one true weakness, and easily enough, Levi falls back into a chair with a drawn out groan. "Erwin. Seriously?"

The blond allows a sigh as he rakes his hand through mussed locks that stand up in a variety of directions due to the gel that had once held them firmly in place. "Look, this corporation is my father's entire life's work. Yeah, it's not really my cup of tea, but as his son, I can't allow it to go bankrupt. There's enough money left in the company's savings to pull off one final project, and if said project is a hit, then I can hand over the reigns and someone else can just repeat the premise over and over again. And you've always had great ideas—" Levi actually snorts at this "—so I figured you were my go-to guy…. Well, that, and the fact that Mike is currently on some European cruise and Hange is God-knows-where—which is a pain in the ass since I asked them to take care of the company in my stead and they're clearly not doing their job right."

Levi joins in this time when Erwin sighs once more, their fatigue shining through the pathetic chorus. "They're trying, Erwin. Hange is just into some weird shit. It's not their fault that they've spent a majority of the budget creating crappy documentaries on the life cycles of deep sea wildlife. This is a production company, so they're just producing things they'd like to see."

"Yeah, without realizing that no one else would like to see it."

The two men drift into a contemplative silence.

"Well, Erwin, what do people like to see?"

There's a rustle of papers as the man shifts through the stacks of files on his desk: all petty research printed out on Levi's printer (much to the brunet's horror) before he had shouted goodbye to his best friend's young familial ward and pulled said best friend in the general direction of the nearest airport. "Uh, badly drawn cartoons with adult humor, foreign soap operas, and reality television—I went ahead and included 'cooking shows with chefs that curse profusely' in this category as well."

Levi draws a slow breath as he judges the entire nation's populace and their crappy taste in a mere two minutes. The judgment probably would have continued if he hadn't noticed Erwin staring at him with an expectant gleam in his eye. Hesitantly, he manages to say, "Well, the first option would mean we'd have to hire artists and comedians, which is an added expense. Soap operas in general would require actual actors who would probably request significant salaries if they're actually any good, which is another added expense. With reality television, at least, a majority of the individuals featured don't have to be paid."

A grin appears bright on Erwin's face. "Okay. Reality television it is. Now we just have to come up with a unique premise that will really engage people."

He still has that look in his eye that Levi just knows will make him feel horrible for not being helpful until he answers. However, Levi absolutely abhors television and therefore has no real interest in it whatsoever. He apprehensively forces himself to ask, "Well, what are some of the more successful shows out there right now?"

Erwin responds passively, reading off a number of television shows along with a basic synopsis of what each one entails. "Let's eliminate the game show ones. We definitely don't have enough money to give away at the end of each episode. Besides, most of them are dumb anyway."

Levi knows that his best friend just has a personal vendetta against Jeopardy because he blanked out when he was on live television and somehow ended up owing the show money instead of walking away with some.

Needless to say, Alex Trebek's face is now synonymous with Satan's in the blond's eyes.

"Maybe if we can combine enough of the good qualities of each show, we can come up with something?"

A shrug. "Sounds good to me."

"Let's see… The Bachelor?"

"I guess people are too lazy to get up and find their own relationships, so they vicariously live through an onscreen woman vying for the affections of some guy who gets to live in a harem."

Erwin winces at the tone, "Okay, romance it is. And Levi, how about you respond with only one word now. Your negativity is kind of contagious."

The brunet frankly doesn't give a damn about whether or not his bad mood is (finally) beginning to rub off on Erwin. The guy'll live.

"Survivor?"

"The island."

Erwin looks as though he wants to say something but decides against it. Instead, he settles for scratching the tip of his pen against his notepad, clearly writing something much longer than just "the island." Levi can't help but be surprised that Erwin didn't detect the sarcasm in his response but decides not to complain.

"Keeping up with the Kardashians?"

Levi visibly winces at this, clearly finding difficulty coming up with an answer. Noticing his silence, his friend decides to throw in an answer himself, "It's probably the drama."

With a noncommittal grunt of agreement, the brunet leans over the desk to grab the notepad for himself and scribble the word in. "Next up is The Biggest Loser." He pauses for a second. "I still can't believe that that's the actual name of the show. I'm sure they could have come up with something better. I mean, good for those people that go through that process because they want to get in shape, but really, what's the point in watching it?"

"It's all about self-improvement, Levi. Watching others striving to better themselves can inspire others to do so as well," Erwin explains.

There's a moment of silence as his friend thinks about the words. He gives a curt nod to show his understanding and Erwin knows that it's probably the only response he's going to get, so he flips around the notepad once more.

"Jersey Shore?"

Levi's eyes narrow. "That's still going on?"

"Well, no," Erwin admits, "But it was pretty popular with its target audience. Wouldn't hurt to take a pointer from it."

The glare is still etched on his friend's annoyed countenance until he snorts, "Probably the people in the show themselves. They're reckless young adults that focus on having fun. If there's any other appeal, then I sure as hell can't see it, regardless of which perspective I use."

If his friend didn't look so bored to death, Erwin probably would have taken the opportunity to poke some fun at him. However, he had known Levi long enough to know that he was beginning to encroach on dangerous territory and resolved to hurry up and find a concept idea as soon as possible.

"Cooking shows? In general?"

That was an easy one.

"Gordon Ramsay. The guy's a fucking asshole and I love it."

Erwin frowns, "I was thinking more along the lines of 'missions' that contestants need to finish up. There's no way in hell we can afford to hire Gordon Ramsay."

Levi scowls.

"And he's not an asshole," the blond chooses to add, "He's great around kids."

"Well kids don't fucking count," his friend snaps. "If he was rude to kids, then he'd be a fucking asshole. God, Erwin, there's a difference."

Erwin reminds himself that now is not the time to chastise Levi on his limited selection of vocabulary (ironic, really, since the man had majored in English) and that he should be focusing on finishing up their concept. "Okay, whatever. Let's put this together now: romance, islands, drama, self-improvement, interesting characters, various missions, and Gordon Ramsay. If we combine these elements, we should be able to come up with the perfect reality television show."

The office is engulfed in silence as the two men engage themselves in thought. It's clear that Erwin is genuinely banking on this as the solution to all of his problems, while Levi's come to the conclusion that this whole ordeal is just dumb as hell and he really, really misses his brat's cooking (it's not really a new conclusion).

"Yes, Erwin," comes the sarcastic drawl, "We are going to successfully save this failing company of yours by convincing twelve melodramatic, hyperactive, annoying-as-fuck teenagers to join us on a private island reality show."

There's a split second pause.

"Levi, that's brilliant!"

The brunet wants to cry.

"We'll target high school seniors," Erwin starts, "Kids getting ready to start a new segment of their lives with huge dreams ahead of them—we can offer them a choice of either a full four-year scholarship to any school of their choice as the grand prize, or, better yet, a whole television series based off of them as the main character! Two birds with one stone!"

Levi still wants to cry.

"We'll have them fill out an application and pick the twelve most interesting individuals in the bunch. We read through their personal information and give them each a confidential mission, unique to their character, in order to help them improve themselves! But some of the missions contradict one another, so it'll cause drama!"

Levi still wants to cry.

"And it'll all take place on my family's private island," Erwin says proudly. "It has good acreage and I figure that my family won't own it for long anyway if this doesn't take off. Oh! Oh! And we can have daily 'mini-missions'—" Levi cringes, "—that they can win in order to get points! And whoever gets the most points at the end of everything is guaranteed second place! And then each week, we'll have the audience submit popularity polls! And whoever gets the most votes at the end will have third place! That'll amp up the drama!" The blond man pauses to take a breath. "We don't really need to worry about the romance, I suppose. They're teenagers, so I guess they'll figure that part out on their own."

Levi still wants to cry.

"Oh! And hey, Mikasa's graduating this year, right? I know that you've been saying that you're worried about your decision to hire a private tutor since she doesn't get to socialize much with people her age. But hey, we could totally hook her up with one of the guys on the show!" Sometime during his tirade, Erwin jumped out of his seat to pace the office, and he takes this moment to gasp audibly and look at Levi in excitement. "Oh my God, Mikasa can be our bachelorette!"

Levi's lost all hope and allows his head to fall, rather harshly, on the desk in front of him with a resounding thud.

Erwin's already taken out his cell phone and is making a plethora of hurried phone calls and Levi supposes that it doesn't really matter anyway since there's no stopping Erwin Smith when he's come up with an idea and some strong resolve.

He's definitely going to talk to him about his younger cousin though, because dear God—not only is she socially awkward and bound to embarrass herself, but her involvement would mean his involvement and Levi is one-hundred percent done with this shit.

"Levi! Levi! I just came up with another idea!"

The seated man hesitantly raises his head to meet the ecstatic eyes of his best friend turned worst nightmare.

"We can't hire Gordon Ramsay, but you'd make a great host for the show!"

Levi bangs his head once more against the surface before him.

Then he does it again.

And again.

And again.

And he hopes that if he keeps doing it, he'll pass out and later wake up from this horrible dream.

Before that can happen though, he's pulled up by the back of his neck as Erwin drags him toward the door, "C'mon, we need to go find Hange! This is going to be so perfect, Levi! We couldn't have done this without you!"

At this point, Levi's decided that he regrets not shanking Erwin Smith when he first met him.

The show's name is going to be Teenage Wasteland and Erwin somehow manages to credit Levi with that too when the latter strides into a production meeting twenty minutes late, music blasting through his ears, and Erwin pulls out his earphones when he's not paying attention and the song by The Who ricochets throughout the room.

"Teenage Wasteland," Erwin had repeated in wonder. "Levi, that's brilliant!"

And goddammit, Levi doesn't want to be brilliant.

"Mike, Nanaba, have you two taken care of the paperwork and meetings with the stockholders?"

"Yes, sir. For the most part, they're all on board with your plans," the woman responds.

"One of the holders even went ahead and submitted an application on behalf of his daughter," Mike adds. "Shows that a lot of people are excited about this idea of yours, Erwin."

The blond grins widely in response, before turning to a disheveled figure with thickly rimmed glasses and a similar expression on their face. "I'm guessing this means that Hange's doing a good job as head of the advertising department then, huh?"

They beam at him, clearly pleased with the compliments. "Of course, Erwin! You know I would never allow myself to let you down." He nods in thanks, before Hange continues to give their report. "I haven't really targeted the television audience directly, since we don't really have any footage for a commercial without our cast, but we've definitely been making it up elsewhere. I'm having it promoted as an amazing scholarship opportunity at high schools around the country and the scholarship websites online are eating it up since it has such unique potential for an amazing experience for the children. I've put paper ads in magazines that are popular with teenagers and a lot of television networks have started promoting it on their own accord. I guess they're all eager to be considered for the show, so make sure you don't make your final decision until the application deadline is closed off." They cut themselves off to share an amused laugh. "Either way, both the web application and the paper application have been incredibly popular." As if to prove their point, Hange steps away from their seat to pick up a large box filled with mailed-in envelopes behind their chair, before dropping it pointedly on the conference room table. "Incredibly popular."

Erwin's face looks like it's about to fall off just because he's so excited, and even though Levi is annoyed as hell, he allows his lip to quirk upwards as well.

"W-Wow, it hasn't even been a month yet…."

And then the blond man at the head of the table starts tearing up, but just barely, and he smiles at everyone gathered in the room and whispers, "My dad would be so proud."

There's a collective murmur of assurance and when Levi is dragged into a group hug he doesn't even complain about the greasiness of Hange's hair as it grazes his arm.

For some odd reason, Levi's been put in charge of sifting through the applications and deciding who's interesting, who's boring as hell, and who has the potential for being interesting but also had the potential for being weird as fuck.

They don't need another Hange on set.

Erwin had the decency to hire Levi a personal assistant—a man by the name of Eld Jinn—and after a series of complaints regarding his sudden position as reality television host, he hired someone—thankfully, with actual experience—to serve as his co-host.

Her name is Petra Ral, and when she introduces herself to Levi, the man can't help but mentally thank Erwin for being thoughtful enough to hire a woman shorter than him. She's trailed by a man named Gunther Shultz, her manager, and another young man, Oluo Bozado, who serves as her publicity manager. The two men don't look too excited to be there, but Petra explains their frowns with a smile bright enough to make up for their annoyance, "The late Mr. Smith gave me my first role on-screen, so if it weren't for him, there's no way I would be where I am today. When Erwin asked me to take on this gig, I agreed to help him out for free in thanks. They're not too happy with my decision, but there's not much they can really do about it. Just give them some time; they'll warm up to the idea eventually."

Levi realizes that this girl thinks with her heart above all else, and while he finds it kind of stupid, he finds her company quite amiable all the same.

Together the five of them sift through file after file, laughing at the funny ones and groaning at the boring ones.

Levi soon realizes that they're not so bad at all.

Erwin decidedly begins to refer to them as "Squad Levi," much to Levi's embarrassment and Oluo's chagrin.

It isn't long before the cast list is finalized: five young women and seven young men.

"Oh, this is going to be so exciting!" Hange squeals excitedly to Petra, who nods gleefully in agreement.

Levi can't ignore the fact that his interest has been piqued—the cast list had been finalized, and Erwin hadn't bothered to run it by him first? He thought they were in this together?

Wow. Fucking rude.

"So when are we bringing in these kids to have their personal introductions shot? You said that we'd be using those as promotional advertisements, right?"

Hange nods in affirmation, "They should all be arriving sometime by the end of this week for the shoot, where they'll each introduce themselves and open up their mission envelopes. They'll each be staying in different hotels within the area—with limited cable access, of course—since we don't want them to meet each other until they arrive on the island."

"Right," the brunet responds slowly. "Hey, by the way, who made the final cut?"

There's a pause as Hange and Petra share a careful look with each other, until the latter responds with a hesitant, "Erwin made us promise not to tell you."

Levi allows a groan to escape from his lips, because this could only mean one thing.

Without another word, Levi snatches the folder from Hange's hands and fucking bolts.

He turns the corner, runs into the first office he sees, locks the door, and allows himself to slide down the smooth wood as he fumbles through the papers.

It doesn't take long for him to see the roster, and when he does, he starts reading from the bottom up—in fear of the inevitable.

Ymir

Levi pauses to wonder why the fuck this girl is only signed on as a single name, but figures that he's not going to ask about it.

Connie Springer

Historia Reiss

Annie Leonhardt

Eren Jaeger

Jean Kirstein

Bertholdt Fubar-Hoover

Sasha Braus

Reiner Braun

Marco Bodt

Armin Arlert

He reads the final name with coming dread: Mikasa Ackerman.

He can feel the vein throbbing in his forehead and Levi knows he's mad. He's mad at Erwin for encouraging his cousin to apply, and he's mad at Mikasa for disobeying him and applying anyway, and he's mad at the members of the so-called "Squad Levi" who probably passed her name on for consideration without his consent.

"Uh," Erwin starts awkwardly from his desk. "Levi, are you okay?"

The brunet glares at him from his seated position, before flinging himself forward over Erwin's desk and tackling the man out of his chair.

Levi doesn't care what Erwin had originally ordered: he reroutes the responsibilities of a majority of the workers himself so that he can stand here at this exact moment in front of this exact escalator.

"Oi. Brat."

Bored eyes with a glimmer similar to his own stare back at him in faint amusement. "Levi."

"You disobeyed me, asshole."

"I'm eighteen, you prick, I can do whatever the hell I want."

The two cousins scrutinize one another for a little while longer, before they both drop what they're holding and hug each other—after all, they haven't seen one another since Erwin first dragged Levi on that fateful night to dream up a television show.

When they realize that, ew, gross, they're actually touching, they promptly push the other away and commence walking towards the luggage train as though nothing had happened.

"Your interview is tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know."

"Try not to be so awkward. You want the audience to like you."

"Yeah, I know."

Make friends, Levi wants to say, but that's too mushy and familial and he already hugged his cousin once today and that's probably enough affection for an entire year or two.

"Yeah, I'll try," Mikasa says, a faint smile on her lips as she watches the shorter man beside her squirm uncomfortably.

Levi doesn't know when they had gotten to the point where she could practically read his mind, but it makes him tense up in disapproval, so he makes a grunting noise, grabs the rest of her luggage, and stomps in the general direction of the parking lot.

Mikasa allows herself a small chuckle as she trails behind him.

a/n: okay, so this was originally longer (like 5k longer lol), but i chose to cut it short because the next chapter is a lot to take in. so i guess, in a way, it's like prequel part two? but don't worry, all of the 104 kids are introduced in the next update and i'm really excited to see everyone's takes on them. c;

good news i guess is that the next chapter is technically already written, so the next update should be in exactly a week or so. not sure how long i can keep the regular updates going, but lol

the veterans will still appear occasionally in the background of everything that'll be going on within the actual television show, but the spotlight won't really be on them. i guess we'll see though~ (i want to succeed into turning erwin and levi into the next chris and ben from parks and rec but idk if i'll have time for that sort of character development LOL)

anyway, feedback is much appreciated! i'm writing this in a much choppier style than what i'm used to, so i'd love to hear your thoughts on it. c: