WARNING: I DIDN'T PROOF READ THIS, SO THERE WILL BE MISTAKES!

This is a bit angsty, so let's put on our emotionally vulnerable face together and put so equally emotional songs on play.

Enjoy!

Just A Little Too Much

Ever been to a place with a certain smell that you could never ever actually distinguished and yet, you're certain that if you ever smell it elsewhere, you'll immediately associate it with that place?

For her, the smell of her therapist's office was just like that. She wasn't sure if she associated the scent with her therapist or just the office. Maybe both. Maybe not.

Maybe because it was of her current condition but she got a rush of anxiety sitting in the office.

"Tell me what happened." A low soothing voice spoke from across the room from her. The sound made her look up from her fidgeting hands. The white walls surrounding them suddenly seemed like they were getting closer and closer to them; like they were going to crash and suffocate them. Her breathing started to get ragged.

The man across from her sighed and leaned in closer, "Relax. Breathe in and out. Relax." He repeated the words over until her breathing returned to normal. "You're okay."

"I'm not…" Her voice was small and sounded so broken – like her. "I can't!"

"Mary, do you still have a lot of dreams?" He asked, crossing his legs. "Any discomfort? Any more anxiety attacks?" It was an obvious question. She just had one! "Close your eyes," He continued and she looked up at him again— her eyes looked so empty— before nodding and closing her eyes. "Now, try to remember what happened. Remember."

Xxx

In a small town nightclub, two young people partied all night long, the girl's long hair messy and carefree while the boy's eyes were liquid. They danced to the loud sound of the music unworried and untroubled. Pressed closed to each other's bodies with lingering touches every now and then, the girl's laugh got lost in the echoing beat of the sounds when he whispered something in her ear.

"This is how you live." He stated, half shouting so she could hear him, his tone sounding free. "Happy sweet eighteen, my love!" He kissed her on the mouth and both could feel the smile on one another's lips.

"Thank you, Francis!" She boomed before hugging him and kissing him again.

Soon enough, their kisses became more heated and lustful until they needed to get out of the mass of bodies moving together.

Soon enough they were in the back of his car, their bodies moving together.

Soon enough her moans filled the dark parking lot where the car was at.

And soon enough, words of love were exchange when both cried out in passion.

And that's when the beginning of the end begun

Xxx

Mary spun around in circles in a brand new dress, soft laughter fluttering from his stomach.

"Come down!" Lola chased her friend as people on the streets around started to give them strange looks. "What's with you? You turn eighteen and now you've gone crazy?"

"No!" Mary proclaimed; her eyes so filled with light and happiness. "I'm just happy."

"Because of Francis?" Lola suggested with a knowing tone in her voice. The smile on her face, encouraging.

"Yes!" She replied, her heart bouncing from her rib cage. "I've never felt this happy in my life. He makes me so so happy!"

Ever since she met Francis, everything seemed so bright and brilliant. The world was a different place when you're in love with someone

Xxx

The first time Mary felt her heart break was when she saw her boyfriend with another girl.

"What the hell!" Mary growled. This was not what she expected to see when her boyfriend asked her to come over at his suite. Being the son of one of the wealthiest man in the word had its benefits. Like having a suite in one of the most expensive hotels in the area.

"Mary, this isn't what it looks like," Francis tried to explain but the tall blonde girl in only a flimsy negligee wasn't doing much for his case.

Soon enough violent words and empty threats echoed from the walls.

Soon enough tug of war on who was right and wrong.

"She was on her knees in front of you!" Mary shouted.

"Nothing happened!" Francis countered.

"Because I arrived!" God knows what might have happened if she arrived later. What her eyes could have seen.

"It wasn't my fault!" He retorted, he was trying to explain but all Mary tuned his voice out with the thought of, it was over. They were over.

"Mary, it wasn't what it looked like….Olivia came and tried to seduce me….she came to me!...Nothing happened"

Soon enough the words he spoke were far and distant.

"I love you, Mary! Only you."

The words made Mary come back from her mind.

"I thought you could change." Her voice was small. "We've known each other since we were six! I know you so well, and yet I don't know who you are. You were always so different towards me, I thought we could be together, but now I see that you are what your reputations says."

"Mary please, you're all that I have," Tears were in his voice and his words chocked in his throat. He loved her. He truly did. "I have nothing without you. Please, give me another chance."

She looked at him and she could feel the fires in her chest.

She loved him. She loved him. She loved him.

He loved her. He loved her. He loved her.

The words repeated in her mind and then, she realized that she was so vulnerable without him because just the thought of not feeling his caresses crushed her heart.

"Okay," The word fell from her tongue like shards of broken pieces of love.

That night they made love on the sofa in the living room. It was rough and fast and filled with lust and anger and it made both of them feel alive.

Xxx

"But I love him!" Mary complains to the man in front of her in a hush tone. She didn't want other people in the café hear her troubles.

"Of course you do," Bash replied, "You've known each other since you two were six. You grew up with each other. You've grown attached and dependent on him."

"What are you saying?"

He sighed, "I'm saying that maybe love isn't the correct word for what you're feeling."

His words made sense but she didn't want to believe them. She knew what he meant, yet the, word and thought still wounded her.

"I love him." She repeated, quietly.

Xxx

"I love you." She said to Francis one evening. "I don't know how to be anything but yours."

"I love you too," He replied, coming closer to her and she almost flinched because of the thought of his hands being on someone else and caressing them with the same love and tenderness he did at the moment. "Marry me," The words sounded foreign that it made her look at him in confusion.

She loved him.

He loved her.

"Yes." She replied with a small smile on her lips.

Their kisses became hotter until clothes were shed and they were one again.

Xxx

They were wrong and foolish but the thing Mary was certain about was that, she loved Francis and she couldn't breathe whenever he was gone.

Xxx

The second time Mary felt her heart break was when Francis' parents disagreed on them getting married.

"We've known each other since we were six!" Francis argued. Mary registered that they've been using that as an excuse a lot.

"And you act like you are still six!" His mother countered. "You're both too young for marriage. Mary just turned eighteen last month."

"We don't plan to get married tomorrow," Mary spoke up, "We just want your blessing because when we do set a date – no matter how far or soon it may be – we want to know that you don't have any hard feelings about us."

"Alright, we give you our blessings," It was his father who spoke out but when Mary glanced at his mother, she looked… happy? She could never tell but at least she didn't look completely applaud by the thought of them being in love.

But Mary was glad that she didn't hear anything more from them besides their concern with the planning. It was just mundane things.

Francis was everything positive and negative in her life.

Xxx

Sometimes, you love someone so much that even reality can't make you change your mind.

You either fall in love until it hurts or bleeds or fades in time.

Mary saw her fiancé of two years on the dance floor of a nightclub with another woman.

Their body grinding together and when she clasped her hand to hold his face closer, she closed her eyes, not wanting to see what happens next.

Mary called Francis asking where he was and he said he was at a bar with some friends. Some friends Francis had.

She turned and ran away from the scene.

Xxx

'Stop fooling yourself,' She chastised herself.

It was a pattern with them. She would find him with another woman and he would easily get himself out of the situation without looking like the bad guy. She has tried to run but somehow, she never wanted to leave. Maybe love really was a ruthless game.

Xxx

"I don't want to get married anymore," The words tasted bitter on her lips.

It was such a big declaration that Francis looked up from the book he was reading. "What?" He asked with wide eyes.

"I saw you last night with some girl," She said, her tone dreary but accusing. "I thought you were with your friends from work."

"I was," He said, "Mary, she was –"

"Nothing, just a friend, the one who came to you…" She enumerated her tone getting louder and uglier. "I've heard it all before, Francis! I've had enough."

"Mary, it's true." Francis offered, he was starting to get worried because of her threat. "And so what if we were dancing? Nothing happened. It's you I love."

He tried to touch her but she stepped back with a flinch.

"And what if I don't love you?" She asked.

"You can't mean that," He said, feeling tearful.

Before, when he looked at her with his crystal blue eyes, she could feel nothing but love for him but now, as she stared at his confused face, she realized that she had been living in pain for such a long time that when she didn't feel it – it felt strange; different.

"But I need you."

"Why?"

"I love you!"

It wasn't enough. The words were not enough!

"You need me because you love me or you love me because you need me?"

She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. It will never work out between us,"

She wished that whatever emotions and feelings they had for each other had the ability to move on their own and bring them the "ending" they both had wished and hoped for.

She wasn't willing to go to hell and back to make things work. Not anymore. She was tired.

"Why? Can't you give me one more chance to get things right?" His voice broke with each other he uttered.

"I've already given you more than ten years of my life," She said, not looking at him. "It's time you give me what I want."

"What do you want?"

It was a simple question.

What did she want?

She wanted him to stop fooling around with other woman and say that she was his one and only.

She wanted him to be only hers and hers alone because he loved her. He loved her.

She wanted to feel that he loved her.

"You're my future, Mary." The words were sweet. She heard it before. "I'll do anything you want."

Suddenly, something in her stomach drops and she reached out for him and kissed him. He's everywhere. On her shoulder, on her neck, on her jaw. Every kiss so soft and tender that she couldn't believe it wasn't the kiss of the wind. A breathy noise escapes the back of her throat and it seemed to encourage him.

His hand travels down her sides, before resting on her hips. Tightening his fingers around her, he lifts her up. Gasping, she hooked her legs around his waist.

And soon enough, they were connected and one with each other.

Xxx

It was the middle of the night when they found themselves dancing around the kitchen with only the refrigerator light illuminating their way. Laughs echoing in the night. Happiness filling the room. Love surrounding the both of them.

Xxx

It was a messy circle. Francis would do something wrong, Mary would get hurt. She would cancel the engagement, he would beg for her forgiveness and she would accept it with an open heart.

It was a sick and wicked game but they both loved to play it. There were heartbreaks where there wasn't anything left to say.

Xxx

"Mary, we're worried," Greer said. She looked around to see all of her friends with identical expression on their faces.

"Your relationship with Francis has been a bit…" Kenna couldn't find the right words.

"I'm not stupid." Mary snapped. The two of them, including Lola winced at her outburst. "I know that my relationship isn't the best, but please know, that I know."

"Then why do you stay with him?" Lola asked.

"Because I love him." Not the best answer, she knew it. Broken. Messed. Devastated. She was all of it because of that love.

"But, is that enough?" It was Greer's voice that made Mary come back from her thoughts.

"I don't know," An honest answer. "But I want it to be,"

"Mary, talk to us." Lola offered, lovingly. "Please."

All she could give to her loving and caring friends was a reassuring smile.

If only she wasn't so fragile without him.

Xxx

"Let's get married," Mary said while on their way to a dinner party with some friends.

Francis glanced from the road to her for a second.

"What?" He furrowed an eyebrow. "We're already engage,"

"I mean, I want to get married sooner," She said and when he glanced at her again quickly, she smiled.

"Okay. When?" He grinned and grabbed her hand to kiss it.

"Next month?"

"Next month?" He repeated. "Don't you think that's too soon?"

"No, we've been engage for almost three years." They wanted to wait for the right time. When he wasn't using his father's money or when she wasn't in the shadow of her family anymore but it the doubts she started to feel, she wanted to secure him. She wanted to be his wife.

"Yeah but the planning and other arrangements," He responded.

"Have already been arranged by our mothers," She said. She wasn't too keen on the idea of their mothers planning their wedding but Mary always had the last word. "We've been planning for almost a year now. Everything is on reservation. The only thing left is the go signal and we'll be ready to get married in a month!"

She was enthusiastic. That was a first.

"You've planned everything out, haven't you?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah. Pretty much." She smiled too.

"Then, okay." He said. "We'll get married next month!"

She hugged him from across the seat and assaulted him with quick butterfly kisses.

Xxx

The dinner party also served as their engagement party for it was official. They were getting married in a month.

Their friends all clapped and cheered when they heard the good news.

"About time!" One of their friends said. And yes, it was about time that they finally allow themselves to be no one's but theirs. And theirs alone.

She dismissed any negative thought about their relationship because the long years of togetherness and love would be enough to keep them together. They were going to make things work.

He loved her.

She loved him.

Xxx

The depth of their connection was so strong. And when a month had passed and Mary stood in her white, elegant wedding gown in the back of a church, she could feel something wasn't right.

"Where's Francis?" She asked Kenna.

"They're on their way." She answered, "Bash said that there was traffic near the south end and they had to take a different route. "

"I don't feel right," Mary declared, "Can someone please call them."

Greer was the one to find her phone first and dialed Francis' number and waited for someone to answer. No one. She tried Bash; neither did he answer her call. She tried again. Alternating between the two brothers. Still no answers.

"This isn't right." Mary stated, her heart beating so fast she could feel it in her chest. "They would have answered or at least texted. Something's wrong."

"Mary, calm down." Lola said, "They're on their way. It's just the traffic and maybe they don't have their phone with them."

"But Kenna talked to Bash!" Mary countered, her thoughts getting the best of her. Sweat was forming on her forehead. "They would've answered the calls or something!"

Mary stormed out of the back of the church to go to the front to wait for her groom.

"I'm sure they're fine." It was her mother. She hasn't talked to her mother in person in so long that her voice sounded different. More tired.

"Then why aren't they here?" Mary snapped.

"You worry too much, my child." Her mother said with a disapproving shake of the head. "I'll be inside, I'll send for one of your friends to wait with you here."

She ignored her mother's words.

"Mary!" A familiar voice called out from a far and she could see Francis jogging up to the church. He looked messy and winded. Behind him was Bash. Looking the same but less enthusiastic about the long run over to the church than Francis was.

"What happened?" She asked when he was closer.

"Traffic was hell," He answered.

"So you decided to run?"

"Anything for my bride." He smiled.

She was marrying an idiot but he was her idiot and he loved her.

Xxx

The exchange of vows was tearful and everyone in the room was silent.

Even his mother held her breath when they exchanged the words of eternal love.

And when they kissed, everyone watched with smiles on their faces.

Xxx

Their honeymoon was in the country side.

They decided to drive up there on their own for they wanted to be alone.

"I have something to tell you," Mary began; she fidgeted with her new wedding band.

"Not having second thoughts are you?" He joked.

"I'm pregnant!" She blurted out and Francis looked at her with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I wanted to tell you before but I just got my result last week and I wanted it to be a surprise –"

She was cut off by Francis' lips on hers.

"I love you and we're going to have a child together." He said, "I'm the happiest man alive."

The two were so in love and engulfed with one another's present and happy, they didn't notice or hear the oncoming car that collided with theirs, until it was too late.

He was gone.

Xxx

"Open your eyes, Mary." The man in front of her said and Mary was transported back into a small office that she was finally able to distinguish the smell of.

It smelled like the unpleasant scent of a hospital. Disinfectant of a hospital room where she spent seven hours of surgery, where she spent seven hours unconscious as the doctors tried to save her baby.

The hospital, where she spent seven hours unconscious while unknown to her that her husband of two hours had died on impact.

"Well then, Mary." Her therapist continued, "It took you four months to tell me that story."