The nighttime peace was suddenly interrupted up in the Shack attic by sudden rapping at the attic window. Both the thirteen-year-old twins were immediately stirred awake by the racket.

"Whazzat?" Mabel moaned from beneath a tangle of blankets. She shifted her still-slumbering pig and wiped some chocolate locks from her eyes. "D-Dipper? What's goin' on?"

"Dunno." Her brother lurched out of bed and shambled across the floor like a zombie. "Sounds like a bird, or-"

He looked out the window at the pair of winged, goatish beasts flapping about expectantly outside. In immediate retrospect, Dipper had no idea why he didn't assume the obvious that something weird was afoot. He leapt back almost halfway across the room with a hoarse cry.

"Hey! Kids, keep it down!" They heard their great-uncle Stan drowsily call from the floor beneath them. Their other grunkle was far too deep below in his basement lab to hear anything (where there was an equal chance he was asleep or working late into the night on some kind of research).

Meanwhile, the nocturnal visitors continued to flap in place with their leathery, bat-like wings.

"Excuse me? Hello?" One tapped on the glass again with a half-hooved, half-clawed hand.

The other dug out a glitter-splattered flyer from her stomach pouch and held it up for both the siblings to see. "We saw this hanging up in the woods. Is this the right address? Are either of you Mabel?"

"What the...?" Dipper read the lovingly hand-crafted paper advertisement, then looked to his sister. "Did you-"

"Oh!" Mabel was instantly wide-awake and smiling excitedly from ear to ear. "Yup, Mabel's this girl! Juuusssst a minute!"

"Oh, no." Dipper groaned. He cast a pleading look to his sister. "Wait, so this is for real? No, you're not seriously going to do this-"

"These are my first clients, silly! I can't say no, can I?" She chirped as she bounced around the moonlit bedroom. After setting up several folding chairs, opened the window up for the visiting monsters. "So you read about my rates, right?"

One of the creatures checked inside another body-pocket (a throat-pouch, this time).

"Huh….hold on," The flying goat-monster mumbled confusedly. "I thought I….could have sworn…."

The abomination's significant other rolled all three of her eyes. With a huff of exasperation she produced a bag of assorted candy, and as she handed off the "payment" to Mabel she did so with the snarky comment. "And it looks like it's up to me to remember for the both of us. Big surprise there."

"Oh, c'mon!" Her partner snapped. "Please don't do this to me now, Gloria."

"You know, we wouldn't have to keep talking about this all the time if you could just keep track of at least some things in our life, like the dark spells that sustain our life force, the best hunting grounds…" She shot him a fierce glare. "My mother's birthday…"

"Hey I sent her that gift card the next day, didn't I?"

"To a shoe store! Why would you actually think that she would honestly want human shoes when we..."

As their bickering rapidly escalated, it was like music to Mabel's ears.

"Oooh, looks like a challenge here!" She squeaked excitedly. In no time she had slipped on a pair of lensless glasses and hung up a small sequin-bordered, hand drawn certificate that read: "Dr. Mabel Pines; Relationship Expert Extraordinaire."

"So….they're seriously going to talk marital troubles with you right here? Right now?"

"They came here for my advice, then that's what they're going to get!" His sister replied.

"Great." Dipper buried his face in his hands and sighed sarcastically. "Just greeeeeat."

"Hey, it's way past time that I let the greater forest community have an opportunity to take advantage of my expertise. At the right price, of course" She explained very matter of factly before directing her clients to the seats. "All right, over here!" Make yourself nice and comfy and tell Mabel when the trouble started!"

With a resigned sighed, Dipper gathered up his pillow and sheets and headed off towards the door.

"Okay, you know what?" He grumbled before he left, "First thing tomorrow morning we're going to talk about making set hours…"