*Important Notice: No animals were harmed in the making of this interlude. Except Manny. It's in his contract. Silly thing didn't have Harry read it to him before signing.

Interlude: Harry's Adventures- Part 3

Special Thanksgiving Episode

"Today is Thanksgiving."

Manny tried to raise his head to glare at Harry, then deemed the movement too much effort and flopped back down. He raised the tip of his tail instead, a habit he'd gotten into doing whenever he was pissed after Harry explained to him the "two-fingered salute". Disappointed and then morally outraged that an obscene gesture was limited to only the phalanges-privileged, Manny adopted the American version, the middle finger, and reasoned he only had one appendage that could constitute as a finger, and therefore flicking his tail up in an authoritative manner was equivalent to flipping off an offender. Harry had become skilled in distinguishing between the signal for a bathroom break, nap twitches, general upward tail swishes indicating boredom, and this anger-fueled action.

If this is an attempt to fabricate a holiday from your old world so that I will "give thanks" to you, then I'm calling cock poppy. We just celebrated your "Halloween", and I'm still skeptical its legitimate. I mean, who would actually let their hatchlings wander around at night in stupid costumes begging for candy from strangers in the middle of autumn? I only went along with it because you made me that avian exterminator costume that accented all my best features; plus, we skipped the begging part and pranked the living daylights out of the forest. Or least we would have if you'd gone along with my plan—

"Eating eggs from a nest is not a prank; its murder and I wasn't about to help you with it. You want eggs? Get them on your own. And the correct term is "poppycock". The other way around just sounds wrong."

It is my nature, not murder. Well, maybe it is, but I can't help it. I need to eat. Uhggg, can we not talk about food? I'm so hungry right now, I'd eat a mouse that'd been out in the sun too long. Just swallow it down and imagine it was part of Hedwig.

"That is what I'm saying!" Harry sprung from his spot on the grass, wobbled slightly from his empty stomach, then began shakily pacing. "Thanksgiving Day is all about food!"

Really? Manny asked hopefully. Because that's not what is sounds like.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be a day to give thanks for all the good fortune you've received that year, but most families use it as an excuse to cook a ton of food and throw a party. Capitalism at its finest."

… Tell me more.

"Alright. So, we're going to need a turkey, some potatoes, corn—preferable still on the cob—and cranberries. I really like cranberries. They were always the first dish I grabbed at the Thanksgiving feasts at Hogwarts."

Riiiight. And where are we going to get those ingredients. Are we going to steal them? Can you magic them into existence? Or are we just going to sit here and picture how tasty that food would be?

Harry deflated. "Ah… I haven't thought of all the logistics yet." He looked around them. The forest was silent in the midday; every creature probably abandoned the area during the battle that had taken place between Harry and the fourth orc party he'd come across that week.

"Well, first we should probably move away from all these corpses. It… doesn't smell the most pleasant here."

Agreed.

The pair walked and slithered, respectively, away from the bloodied ground. Harry pondered his dilemma as they traveled. There were plenty of farms just outside of the forest they could liberate a few vegetables from without notice, and he could leave copper pieces on the doorstep as compensation. But a turkey… He hadn't seen any of the flightless birds since coming to Middle Earth. He could substitute it for another animal, but all the forest creatures were long gone, and Harry wasn't in the mood for hunting anyways. The earlier battle, while not overly taxing since he was getting more practiced at taking on the hordes and the orcs weren't getting any smarter, did serve to remind him he hadn't eaten much in the last few days. Traveling and fighting and bantering with Manny was taking up all his focus, and now he was paying for it. And Manny's complaints were not helping.

Haaaarry, I'm so hungry! Feed your snake! Give me the feast of the Thanksgiving! I's wants it's. Harrrrrrry!

A brilliant insight came to Harry as the fifth "r" in his name broke his patience. He turned to his snake with a glint in his eyes. Manny paused and then lowered himself fully to the ground.

Uh, please?

"I've never had snake before. Say, Manny, do you taste like turkey, or more like chicken?"

…

"C'mon, don't disappoint. You taste like turkey, right?"

Manny darted away, and the chase began. Harry followed closely behind his snake as Manny weaved under roots and over beds of orange and brown leaves in a mad dash, wand and sword forgotten in the absence of sincere intent.

Eventually, hunger and panic teamed up and drove Manny headfirst into a tree that came out of nowhere. He was dazed for a moment, and that was all Harry needed to catch his snake. One hand wrapped around his tail, the other near his head to keep him from biting.

Wait, wait! Don't eat me! Look there's a turkey right behind you! There's a—oh, there actually is something there. What the hell is that thing?

Harry snorted at Manny's attempt at diversion, but more insistence convinced him to turn his head slightly to look behind him. He dropped his snake in surprise.

There, merely meters away from him, stood a calm, fat turkey pecking at the ground.

"It's… beautiful. It's a Thanksgiving miracle!"

Manny whimpered and tightened his hold around Harry's left ankle in response.

~ One Hour Later ~

You know Manny, I'm really thankful I didn't eat you.

Aww, Harry. I'm thankful I have such a big heart that I can forgive you for choosing me over that winged feathered rat in the sky as the main course in your amicicide banquet.

You were closer and therefore more easily accessible.

Don't test the boundaries of my munificence.

Underneath a pile of leaves next to where the glorious turkey appeared, unnoticed by either human or snake while they enjoyed their dinner, was a note.

Dear Master,

Enjoy your Thanksgiving to the best of your ability. This time next year, the world could be engulfed in fire and despair; I doubt crops will be as plentiful then. Humans are lazy, selfish creatures that way. Kill a few thousand of them, and their productivity per capita plummets.

Sincerely,

Mandos

PS – that snake is mine to destroy. Please do not encroach upon my claim again. One day, Manny, you will feel my wrath. One day…

End Author's Note: Chapter 13 is in progress. Coming soon.