You would always fight for me, as you often did for friends. I thought that meant you cared. I enjoyed knowing you were around. I knew you'd always be there, and for a while it seemed I had nothing to fear. I secretly hoped you loved me, and I always thought you did. That you don't, I still deny, for one day she came along and took you from my side. I should've seen it coming, but delusions made me blind, and when everything was said and done, I cried tears like tomorrow would never rise. I realize you love her, I hope she loves you too, but if she says she doesn't, remember that I do. It seems unfair to lose you, we never got our chance. I contemplate what I could've done better, to make you love me. I wish I had been anyone other than myself, because then maybe you'd have turned to me, instead of what's in your heart. I'll never have your heart, and you'll always have mine, the unfortunate circumstance, is that I'm empty deep in side. Maybe I'll forget you, maybe we'll be friends, I guess we were that all along until this tragic end. I failed to see the connection, I was looking for another one, but the bond we had between us, was lost in my lust for your love.

But don't worry about me. You know that I'll survive. I'll smile that genuine smile that never quite reaches my heart. I can pretend I feel nothing. Just watch. You won't doubt me. You wouldn't want to realize the truth, and feel the pain I'm not feeling.

I don't miss you. I don't long to kiss you, and I don't wish you were here with me. It's clear to me that that was then, and this is now and I don't love you anyhow. I hate your smile, I hate the way you held my heart just yesterday, I hate my love, I hate goodbye, I hate these tears I try to hide. Even though they aren't for you. I hate everything I used to love, but most of all, I hate the fact that I don't miss you. I don't long to kiss you, and I don't wish that you were here with me, because that was then and this is now and I don't love you anyhow.

The thoughts that enter my mind day and night. I go from fury, to denial, to hate, to pain and at the end it starts again. I try to move on, and end up back here. And this is where I hate to be. Stuck within the middle, where there's no tragic or happy release. Here, where I can't get over you.

So I continue to run my restaurant, hoping and dreading that you'll come by, and if you did, what would I do? I probably would cry. I'd tell you to leave me alone, with a hardened heart of stone, and you wouldn't listen, you never would, you'd comfort me instead. It's these thoughts that constantly run through my head, the past dreams I've come to dread. And now the truth comes out. You didn't mislead me, I just never knew, it wasn't you, fighting for me, but me fighting for you. Now I truly see, everything was for her, nothing was for me. You never fought for me. And you never will love me.

And I just want to forget it all happened. I put my whole life into you. Be it revenge or for love. All the same, there's nothing for me to live for now. So where do I go from here? It's a question I've never truly asked myself until now. I wish to leave this with a happy ending. But what happiness is there for the other fiancé in your life? Just another romantic rival. The happy ending is all for you. Leaving me in the cold. And how I wish you would fight for me now, like you never did.