A/N: I was supposed to be working on a different fill for the kink meme, but it was being difficult. It's still being difficult. Urgh. Anyway, I decided that, in an attempt to alleviate my writer's block, I should try working on something short and dumb instead. This is the result.

Prompt: The other cadets play a prank on Cloud by dressing him up in girl's clothes, tying him up and leaving him somewhere on the Shinra compound, where he is found by Sephiroth, Genesis and/or Zack (any 1 or combination is cool), who pretend to believe that Cloud is a girl who is trespassing…unless, of course, he can thoroughly prove he's a boy. Shy-but-turned-on Cloud; wicked, wicked SOLDIERS :P

Warning: The situation in this is transphobic and could be triggering.

"Of course I'm not a fucking girl!"

Cloud regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He'd just raised his voice to two of his superior officers. Two of the highest ranking (and most gorgeous) men in SOLDIER. They could make or break his career with a word. And he'd just sworn at them.

Nice going, Strife.

Commander Rhapsodos smirked down at him. "But you are dressed like one, you realise?"

Cloud felt his face heat up even more. As if he wasn't humiliated enough already.

This was not the way he had wanted his evening to go. It had started out just as a bit of a laugh; one of the guys in his unit had broken up with his girlfriend, and was grouching about the fact he'd bought a new dress for her just before he got dumped. Since it had been rendered useless to him, he had tossed the dress over to the rest of the guys, saying they could have it.

They'd all turned to Cloud.

Cloud had agreed to try it on, just as a joke. He wanted to make them laugh. He wanted to fit in. He really should have known better.

They'd dragged him halfway across the compound and tied him to the flagpole in the middle of the courtyard, still in the fucking dress, and left him there. Because that was the level of dickheadedness his squadmates thought was hilarious.

And Sephiroth and Genesis were the ones who had found him.

"I'm not dressed like this by choice." Cloud shifted uncomfortably. The skirt was already short, and it was riding up a bit. He couldn't pull it down either, not with his hands bound to the flagpole behind his back. It was really not the first impression he had wanted to make.

Sephiroth levelled an impassive stare at him. "You are trespassing on ShinRa property."

"I'm in the infantry. The guys from my unit dressed me up like this as a stupid joke. I'm not trespassing!"

"Do you have any ID on you?"

"…no. It was in my infantry uniform."

"Can you prove you are an employee of ShinRa?"

"Can you even prove you're a boy?" Genesis added.

"With all due respect, Commander, I think it's pretty fucking obvious I'm a boy."

Genesis laughed. He knelt so he was eye level with Cloud, smiling wickedly. "How about this? If you can conclusively prove that you are male, we will accept your story and you will be free to go."

Cloud felt his heart skip a beat.

Genesis Rhapsodos was now incredibly close to him, within arms reach. So was Sephiroth. This was the closest he'd ever been to his heroes - possibly crushes, but mostly heroes. Everyone thought about those men while they touched themselves, right? Who wouldn't? They were gorgeous, and powerful in a way that was intimidating and alluring and thrilling all at the same time. It didn't mean he liked them or anything.

The soft leather of Genesis' gloves brushed against Cloud's exposed thigh, and Cloud's eyes went wide.

"H-how exactly do you want me to prove that?"

Sephiroth made a soft noise of amusement from above him. "I am sure you can imagine how."

Genesis' fingers travelled further up his thigh, dipping under the laced hem of the dress.

"Y-you can't be… I mean, that's… I'm not… you… what?"

Sephiroth smirked at the stream of stuttered babble. The boy was extremely attractive with his face that delicious shade of pink.

Genesis stopped just at the top of Cloud's thigh. "With your permission, of course," he said, raising an eyebrow at the flushed blond.

It took Cloud a moment to even register what was being asked. Genesis was touching him. Not quite intimately, but very close. And Sephiroth was watching. How could anyone expect his brain to be working at full capacity, really?

This was not the first impression Cloud had wanted to make, but if it somehow led to dicks being touched then it couldn't have been a bad one.

"Uhh. Yeah. I guess?" His voice sounded breathy even to his own ears.

Genesis cupped Cloud's cock through his underwear. "Hmm," he said in mock thoughtfulness. "He certainly seems to be male."

Cloud's hands clenched into fists behind his back. It wasn't even a firm touch, but it still felt good. All the better for who it was touching him. Shit. The last thing he needed was to embarrass himself further, but he could feel himself hardening under Genesis' hand. There was no way he wouldn't notice that.

"It could be fake packing," Sephiroth pointed out.

"A very good point."

Genesis' touched turned more insistent, massaging Cloud through the material of his boxers. Cloud bit his lip, unsuccessfully attempting to hold back a whimper.

"He seems to be feeling it."

"Perhaps he is simply a good actor. Allow me."

Sephiroth took over Genesis' position kneeling in front of Cloud. He hitched the skirt up around Cloud's hips, and before Cloud had time to protest, he was stripped of his underwear as well. Completely exposed. Then Sephiroth's hand was on his cock.

"Very convincing," Sephiroth said. His voice was practically a purr.

"Nng, sir…" Cloud gasped, his cock twitching in Sephiroth's grip. He moaned helplessly as Sephiroth began to stroke him. "Sir!"

Cloud's head fell back, eyes closed and lips parted as he began to pant. It felt a thousand times better having someone else do this to him than when he did it himself. The feel of leather against his flushed, sensitive skin was electric. And the fact that it was Sephiroth. Giving him a handjob. Gaia.

Genesis leant in, his mouth brushing against Cloud's exposed throat. He pressed his lips against the pale skin. Cloud moaned in response, tilting his head back further to allow Genesis to do whatever he pleased. The kiss turned into a nip, and then several. Genesis was marking him.

Between the two of them, there was no way Cloud was going to last.

Genesis' hand joined Sephiroth's on his cock, pumping him hard.

"Aa-ahh! Please," Cloud begged.

Both of them smiled wickedly at him.

"Do you want to cum?" Genesis purred.

"Yes." It was more a groan than an intelligible word, but the affirmation was clear.

Genesis took over, stroking Cloud's cock in quick, firm pulls, rubbing his thumb over the sensitive head and making Cloud buck up beneath him. Sephiroth cupped Cloud's balls in his hand and squeezed.

Cloud arched back, mouth falling open in a wordless cry. His thighs trembled, stomach tensing as he shot his load all over himself and all over the stupid dress. Genesis kept milking Cloud through his orgasm, not letting go until he was completely spent.

"Ohhh." Cloud slumped back, thoroughly boneless and dazed. He didn't think he'd ever cum so hard in his life.

He was vaguely aware of Genesis reaching around to untie the ropes around his wrists.

"He is certainly very attractive," Cloud heard Sephiroth say.

"And he's definitely male." Genesis' smirk was practically audible.

"I think he has potential."

"Hn…?" Cloud attempted. His brain hadn't quite managed to reboot itself yet.

Genesis smiled at him, a little too predatory to be entirely reassuring. "How about we go somewhere more private to continue this? Our rooms, perhaps?"

Go somewhere private? Continue? Oh. Cloud's breath caught all over again. "Yes."

Fuck, yes.

Cloud scrambled to his feet, ineffectually trying to smooth out the rumpled dress. There was nothing he could do about the stains all over it.

Sephiroth smirked, placing a hand on the small of Cloud's back as he began to guide him towards the SOLDER's quarters. He leant down to brush his lips against the shell of Cloud's ear, making Cloud shiver at the surprisingly intimate contact.

"Keep the dress on," he said.