Mario crouched down in preparation for a sprint. A Toad stood beside him with a stopwatch. Mario looked down World 1-1 another time, before focusing back on his arms.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, this is one of the weirdest ideas I have ever heard!" Toad claimed.

"I am ready for this. Bring it on!" Mario stated. Toad rolled his eyes, and pulled out a chequered flag.

"Ready… set… go!" Toad claimed. Mario was off like a rocket, grabbing a Super Mushroom immediately, and tagging a Goomba. Toad turned around, and took a shortcut to Bowser's Castle.

Mario arrived in a black room of Bowser's, coated in grey brick. Bowser pulled out a series of hammers, and threw them all at his opponent. Mario dived under Bowser's legs, and sent Bowser into the lava. He hurried into the room where Peach was held, and tagged her.

"How did I do?" Mario asked the Toad, who was standing right next to them.

"4:57:69," the Toad read off the stopwatch.

"WAHOO!" Mario cheered. He had broken his all-time record at Kidnap.

The Mushroom Kingdom is a prosperous land. It is ruled by Queen Toadstool, who is one of the most effective rulers in the entire world. However, she is socially inhibited, which is where her sister comes in. Princess Peach is out-going, but she could never rule a kingdom. She serves as a figurehead ruler while Toadstool does all the work in the background.

The kingdom is well known for its competitive tournaments. It has formed bonds with kingdoms all across the globe in all sorts of competitions: from go-kart racing to controlled fighting to the Olympic Games, and everything in between. The Mushroom Kingdom has always hosted these events, or at the very least been a major organiser of them. However, the most famous sport in the kingdom is one exclusive to it.

This sport is known as Kidnap. It started as a training exercise by the war commander Bowser, to see if two then-rookies really had what it takes to defend their princess. The aim of the game is that one man, or a small team, goes up against a large army to attempt to defeat a villain and save a princess. This is a popular sport amongst the kingdom, but not so much with other nations, who have only participated once each. The typical hero is Mario, the very first hero to play. The typical villain is Bowser, one of the most dangerous warriors in the land. The typical princess is Peach, who allows herself to be taken from her duties to participate. The sport is that popular.

But I speak too much. Let us return to the story at hand.

Mario, Peach and Bowser headed back to Toadstool Castle after that game. The carpet was magnificent, but the walls were bare of all but trace graffiti.

"You were amazing, Mario!" Peach said, curtseying. Mario nodded. He had become quite an adept, and this time trial was a test to see how adept he was.

"No wonder the kingdom likes seeing you play the hero! I sometimes wonder how quickly a real villain would go down…" Bowser said, patting Mario on the back. Mario staggered forward, brushing some dust off his knees.

"You're too kind, Bowser," Mario said. To 'defeat' an enemy in Kidnap, one had to simply tag them. A real enemy would be much harder to defeat, and the battle would thus take longer.

"…Yeah, maybe I am. But you are a promising competitor…" Bowser said. Peach grabbed Mario's hand.

"That, he definitely is," she said, smiling. A nice whirring sound was heard, and a Mario appeared in the wall. This one looked as if he was made of paper.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Beat my… no, the top score in the original Kidnap course!" Mario stated. Paper Mario beamed with pride.

"Nice to see that third dimension isn't stopping you," Paper Mario pointed out. Paper Mario was confined to walk on walls. He could use anything drawn on them to his advantage, and was theoretically the best warrior in the kingdom.

"Paper Mario, would you ever consider a game of Kidnap one day?" Bowser asked.

"Can't, buddy. I've got stuff I'm working on," Paper Mario stated. His inability to access the third dimension meant that, of course, Paper Mario could not leave Toadstool Castle. He elected to not draw attention to this, and no one could truthfully say they knew if this lack of freedom bothered him. Though 'having stuff to work on' was a common excuse, so it could well be that it was true.

"Anyway, Queen Toadstool would like for you to join her in a luncheon," Paper Mario stated. Mario, Peach, and Bowser nodded, and diverted in course.

"Greetings, sister, Lord Bowser and Lord Mario. Please, take a seat," Queen Toadstool said, gesturing to the table. Luigi was already seated on it. Mario, Peach and Bowser sat down, Bowser taking care to sit on his designated seat. He noticed that sitting on a chair not tailored to his needs tended to reduce it to splinters. Queen Toadstool remained standing.

"You're probably wondering why I brought you here. Well… no sense beating around the bush. The Dark Land is rebelling," Toadstool stated.

"Rebellion? But for what reason? What have we ever done to them…?" Bowser asked.

"They have undergone a change in leadership. Their new ruler, Count Black, has imposed dramatic changes in policy since his coronation. He has decreed it offensive for our nation to be ruled by a matriarch," Queen Toadstool stated.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! You have been crown Queen for years, and no one gave a stir! Why now, all of a sudden, cause unrest?" Peach asked.

"They say I have been too poor a leader. I have never appeared in public. And I have befriend too many nations," Toadstool said. Luigi rolled his eyes.

"That last one is completely pointless! And since when did a ruler have to appear in public on top of everything you do? The best explanation I can come up with is they want to force you to take a break!" Luigi exclaimed.

"It's more than a break," Mario said. Everyone turned to him. He had been silently digesting the conversation up until now.

"Black wants the throne. He wants you out of charge and him in. I can't fathom why, but I feel like it is nothing good. We conduct a lot of dangerous sports in the kingdom… This cannot end well," he theorized. Toadstool nodded slowly.

"So far, his movement is an unpopular one. He will not gain much ground. But it's better to be safe than sorry. I shall marry," Queen Toadstool said. This statement was met with uproar from the attendees of the meeting.

"Sister, you're not going to get married! You're lucky to still be in the room with these three!" Peach pointed out. Toadstool slowly nodded.

"I admit that's a minor setback-" Queen Toadstool began.

"That's a major setback, Toadstool. Between us, you have two potential suitors, with a major emphasis on potential. Not only that, but you sister is also crushing on both of them!" Luigi pointed out. Mario and Bowser looked between each other. They realised the truth in Luigi's words. Peach did like both of them, but they were Toadstool's only choices.

"Now what do we do?" Mario asked.

"We'll continue on as if nothing has happened. Black can't do much to us yet. Peach, you'll have to hurry and make your choice. Sooner or later, Black will have the momentum he needs to unleash a civil war. We are a peaceful society, and the best battle experience we have is at Kidnap. We can't turn to Hyrule or Sarasaland or any other kingdom for this, or Black can do the same. Peach, there is more than you know that depends on your ability to choose a suitor!" Bowser explained. Peach nodded solemnly.

"I'll do my best," Peach said.

Mario walked back home with Luigi. Peach had organised a dinner with him for tomorrow, and Luigi decided to accompany him for the first time in a while. The Mushroom Kingdom was still busy at work for the next competition, and Mario sadly observed this.

"What's wrong, bro?" Luigi asked. Mario pointed to the Toad workers.

"This site could become a battlefield if Black gets a chance. Tell me, what chance do we have; only using Mushroom Kingdom fighters?" Mario asked. Luigi opened his mouth, and closed it.

"It depends on how much momentum Black can make. But Mario, there are only seven Star Children, and you can rely on only five. Remember, this war will be a long time coming, and you know what Wario's like…" Luigi stated. Mario nodded. The Star Children were Mario, Luigi, Wario, Yoshi, Peach, Donkey Kong, and Bowser. Wario was a mercenary who'd betray anyone for a huge supply of dough, and Luigi was due to be wed to Princess Daisy of Sarasaland. The marriage would elevate Luigi to a ruler of Sarasaland, and thus he could not be involved in a civil war for the Mushroom Kingdom.

"…Thought as much. But it's still a disappointing thought…" Mario said. He was incredibly worried about a potential war. There were so many variables in what could happen, and each and every one was terrifying to envision.

Mario and Luigi entered Mario's House. He still lived alone, and Mario enjoyed this. He was not looking forward to moving in to Toadstool Castle, no matter who he was to marry. He decided to take his mind off it by pulling out a piece of paper, and smoothing it flat. He started to write a series of names down.

"What is this?" Luigi asked. He saw Mario, Peach and Bowser's names at the head of the list.

"This is a list of every major warrior in the kingdom. I plan to keep an eye on how large the two sides are."

"Relax. For all you know, the war will never happen!" Luigi said.

"I will be prepared for every eventuality."

"Don't you think this is a little too much?" Luigi asked one last time.

"No. I do not," Mario stated. Luigi nodded, and left for Sarasaland.

*cough* *cough*

"Oh no…" Queen Toadstool sighed, getting up and walking over to her sister. Peach had fallen ill. Paper Mario slithered through the walls as well. He had pulled out a book, and was looking between its pages and Peach.

"It's nothing major, Paper Mario. No need to panic," Toadstool assured Paper Mario. Paper Mario nodded, and looked back at his book. Toadstool sighed, and turned to Peach. Peach moaned sickly.

"You need to take a rest, sister. You can't get out in this state," Toadstool told Peach firmly.

"But… with all due respect, sister, you cannot accept any more burdens! I simply must be up and about to assist you!" Peach demanded. Toadstool shook her head. Paper Mario moved to the head of Peach's bed, and coughed.

"Toadstool, this is more serious than I thought. This illness does not seem to match the symptoms described of any common illness. I fear that she may have been sickened by an outside source," Paper Mario said. Toadstool shook her head.

"This is just a common illness. This is not an attack!" Toadstool responded, shaking her head fearfully. With the subject matter at hand, it made sense for the kingdom to be in a state of paranoia. But this was just too much!

"Queen Toadstool, you must listen to me! Peach is in a really bad way! You have to send her to get healed! She's not going to throw this off!" Paper Mario practically begged. Toadstool looked down at Peach, who seemed to have lost quite a bit of colour during the short discussion. Toadstool relented.

"I'll send her to Yoshi's Island. The Yoshi will take care of her. And… I will take on her tasks," Toadstool said.

"Queen, not this time! You are simply too shy to try and accomplish anything! Particularly in the current climate…" Paper Mario stated. Toadstool shook her head.

"I must do what is necessary. I must keep Peach's appointments intact, precisely because of Black's outrage. If we allow him any more fuel to a smear, we risk the safety of the kingdom! As the Queen, I cannot allow that to happen! Peach, can you-?" Toadstool asked. Peach shook her head. She was too far gone to speak.

"So, you need our tribe to cure her?" Yoshi asked. He had arrived punctually, and without question. Toadstool nodded, and pulled out a Pocket Warp Pipe. These temporary devices allowed one to travel to a place in which they needed to go, but were one-use items. As such, people tended to use existing Warp Pipes, which were in enough convenient places to serve the public well. Yoshi knew that there was a sense of urgency in Toadstool.

"Should you really?" Yoshi asked. Toadstool nodded.

"I will be taking on Peach's appearance and duties in the meanwhile. I will pass off as her, and I want as few people as possible to know I am the shy Queen. This pipe will take you directly to Yoshi's Island. Do not let anybody know you are caring for the Princess. Least of all Black," Toadstool told Yoshi. Yoshi nodded. Her words made sense.

"Will there really be a war?" Yoshi asked worriedly, putting Peach on his back.

"…All too likely, our faithful companion," Toadstool reluctantly admitted. Yoshi stepped through the Pocket Warp Pipe, and returned to his island. Paper Mario stood on the wall behind the Pipe.

"…Don't call on me, Toadstool. I have something urgent I must attend to. I can only hope the effort has value," Paper Mario said. Toadstool nodded.

"You are a loyal ally to the crown, Paper Mario. Unless your efforts are also trapped in the castle, anything you can do will be of great help," Toadstool said. She turned, and began her transformation into Peach.

Toadstool walked to Mario's house, disguised as her sister Peach. In her opinion, she looked the splitting image of her sister. However, her fears never lay with disguising herself: she was identical to Peach in her younger years, before her parents died and left her to run the kingdom. It was her much more shy nature to her twin she worried would expose her.

"Peach! Come on in!" Mario cried out. Toadstool gave a small start, before remembering her disguise.

"Hey, Mario!" she responded, but she was instantly worried her disguise was already broken. She stepped into Mario's small shack, and looked around at the simple room. She made a mental note to set aside a castle suite for Mario.

"You're just in time! I cooked some spaghetti and meatballs. I know I'm not going to outdo anything you get in the castle, so don't feel too down," Mario said apologetically. Toadstool nodded, and made a start on trying to eat. She didn't like the taste of meats, so avoided the meatballs. She regretfully wondered whether Peach did, realising her disguise was falling apart at the seams.

"So… you concerned about Black?" Mario asked. Toadstool jumped at the sudden question.

"Yeah. He's been threatening m- my sister with his stupid rules. I really don't like him. I don't suppose Toadstool's able to instantly depose him or anything?" Toadstool responded.

"Heh. I'd like for that to be the case. But sadly, we've just gotta deal with Black. I'm worried that him starting a war will be inevitable," Mario said.

"Will you stand by your queen when that time comes?" Toadstool asked.

"Of course I will. She is an amazing woman. She's meek, but that just adds to the appeal. It might just be Kidnap talking, but did I ever mention I've been protective of girls?" Mario gushed. Toadstool smiled slightly.

"I assume you mean that in an unusual sense?" she asked. Mario nodded. Toadstool pondered only for a second what her reaction would be.

"Thank you, Mario! I've made my decision," Toadstool said. Mario looked up at Toadstool confusedly, as she circled the table, and plopped into Mario's lap, snuggling against him.

"Uh, Peach? You OK?" Mario asked.

"Wonderful, Mario. I've got my knight in shining overalls right here," Toadstool said. Mario gently pat Toadstool on the back.

"…Is there something you want to tell me?" Mario asked.

"Yes. Mario… I am the Queen Toadstool. And I think I have a huge crush on you!" Toadstool said.

"Toadstool? But what happened to Peach?" Mario asked in a furore.

"Taken ill. Paper Mario insists it isn't a common illness, but I'm sure it'll pass," Toadstool said. Mario opened his mouth to argue further.

"I know what you're going to say, and do you honestly think no one else has asked?" Toadstool remarked. Mario nodded knowingly. He took Toadstool closer to his chest, and Toadstool beamed.

"I still think this was a stupid idea. But you have made a tremendous step for our kingdom. Thank you, Toadstool. Will you accept me as your groom?" Mario asked.

"Yes, Mario… I will be your bride. I always did think Peach was destined for Bowser," Toadstool responded.

"Same."

The next morning was a disaster. Mario, Peach and Toadstool had all forgotten about the fact that this day was set for a round of Kidnap. Mario had gotten out of bed and into the castle in time to see Bowser with Toadstool (still masquerading as Peach) in his arms.

"Mario! You've been a thorn in my side far too long!" Bowser roared, in character for his trademark villain.

"Bowser, stop this madness now! You're making a grave mistake!" Mario replied. Bowser scoffed, and teleported to the keep. Mario cursed his luck: of all the ways he could have phrased the fact that 'Peach' was in fact Toadstool, he had to make it sound in character for the hero. He also bitterly regretted the phasing out of the need for a safe word in the sport. But there was another way to get to Bowser in a hurry.

"Mario, what are we going to do?" a Toad boy asked. Mario scooped up a Cape Feather, and turned into Caped Mario. He got a running start, and shot up far into the sky, soaring over the level checkpoints and enemies.

Mario conducted a nose-dive directly at Bowser's Castle. As predicted, he punched right through the castle brick, and he rushed in between Dry Bones and lava without a care for the system. Several Dry Bones had declared foul, but Mario didn't care. He knocked right into Bowser's room, and faced the Koopa King.

"Bowser, what you're doing isn't right!" Mario said, the words sounding poor even in his head.

"I know! I realised almost immediately. But she was quite insistent," Bowser said, not at all in character. Mario cursed his stupidity.

"Your concern for your queen is quite touching, and completely warranted. We'll work out a solution later. But while we're here, we may as well not ruin the final battle!" Bowser roared, managing to sound intimidating while explaining the situation to Mario.

Mario and Bowser circled one another to the tune of an intimidating beat. Mario hadn't grabbed a Fire Flower, and Bowser was blocking the ending switch incredibly well. Mario could see what he could do, however…

He ran towards Bowser at high speed. Bowser carelessly swatted at Mario, but missed as Mario used his cape to soar right over Bowser, and press the switch. Bowser fell into the lava with which he was completely impervious to, and Mario was the technical victor in this ruined match. The door to the Princess' Chamber opened, and Mario walked in to see a swooning Toadstool.

"A bit of warning would've been nice," Mario grumbled. Toadstool shrugged.

"When?" she asked. Mario grudgingly agreed the situation was really doomed from the moment it started. Toadstool leaned in, and kissed Mario on the cheek, something she hadn't done in the role of princess for nearly twenty years.

"FIRE!" Bowser roared. He leaped into the Princess' Chamber, and Mario and Toadstool turned to see him.

"Fire?" Mario asked.

"This isn't supposed to happen! Something has rerouted the lava! Mario, this is real danger, and not just the fake danger we rig! We have to get out of here, now!" Bowser said. Mario gasped, and turned to Queen Toadstool.

"Get her out of here! You're immune to regular lava, right? You can get her out with ease?" Mario asked of Bowser.

"Yes… can you get out?" Bowser asked, worried for his comrade in arms. After thirty years of the sport, Bowser's opinion of Mario had changed from a lazy solider to a powerful ally.

"I caped in here, I can cape out. Just go! Save Toadstool at all costs!" Mario commanded. He grabbed his running start, and flew into the skies. Bowser grabbed Toadstool, and jumped over to an emergency exit within easy reach. He jumped from the room, with Queen Toadstool unscathed.

"Bowser! You have to go back for Mario!" Queen Toadstool commanded. Bowser nodded; he wasn't going to do anything less. Bowser jumped into the castle, and a tower collapsed. Toadstool clasped her hands, and began furiously praying. Praying for Mario and Bowser to reappear safely.

Bowser returned once the castle had been reduced to rubble. He held something in his arms in such a way that its contents were hidden from view.

"Bowser! Is he safe? Where is he? Tell me!" Toadstool asked, her eyes stricken with tears. Bowser opened his arms, and revealed what he held. Toadstool clasped feebly at it.

It was a human skeleton. Parts of it had burned away, but there was only one person it could be. Toadstool sniffled, and grabbed Mario's skull.

"He can't be… he can't be…" Toadstool said tearfully.

"It was one lousy stone. They were falling from the ceiling rapidly. Mario was dodging them like a pro… but one got past him. He lost control of his cape, and collided face first with the lava beneath him. I was this close to catching him. As it was…" Bowser said, also holding up Mario's iconic cap. Toadstool took it from his hands, and sniffled. She hugged the hat to her chest, tear-stricken.

The next day, Queen Toadstool had organised a funeral for the red plumber. Shortly after the funeral, the Queen approached her sister, with a difficult decision resolved. She knew in her mind that she had made the wrong decision, but for the first time in her reign, she was siding with her heart.

"Peach, you have my blessings to marry Bowser," Toadstool said.

"WHAT?" Peach asked, horrified. "But Black-"

"Can die in a fire for all I care. I knew Mario was the one for me the instant I finally got to know him. I'm not going to turn my back on him just to satisfy one count. If it comes to war, I say let it happen!" Toadstool cried. Peach looked aghast at the suggestion, but she trusted her sister's judgement.

And so this concludes the first chapter of our story. We have become well acquainted with our heroines Peach and Toadstool, our heroes Bowser and Mario, a variety of supporting characters, and a conflict. If my memory serves me correctly, we will meet Lord Black next chapter, my children… but for now, I grow weary. I am sorry, but I must retire for the night.