Hello all! I was playing around on Tumblr and saw a scene that gave me inspiration for this little diddy here. Hope you like it. Characters are extremely OOC. Fair warning. I'm not condoning or "victim blaming" here either. Just a story with a person's thoughts on their life and choices. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: No disrespect, not mine.

PRIVATE DANCER

I don't know what I was thinking when I brought it up. I don't know what could have pushed these thoughts into my head that made me think this would be a good idea. But here I am.

Broken.

Alone.

Empty.

And it's all my fault.

I hate my life. I want to say it wasn't always that way, but looking back, I can't be certain. At least not from the moment I met him.

Before him, I remember being happy.

Not to say he made me unhappy. We just...

But it's my fault for the parts that are now broken.

Trust me, this isn't some story about me being the wronged party who needs your pity.

I brought this whole thing on to myself.

I should start from the beginning.

Edward and I met when we were in college, both attending Northwestern. He was a med student and I was interested in marketing. We met during a gen ed. class and hit it off. Because he was so busy with his classes, we didn't start dating right away. Instead, we became friends with benefits. And it worked for about six months. But then like all things, it began to stop working.

I wanted to have more with him.

We had a long talk one day not long after Valentine's Day, and decided to become official. He was always busy with school and then work, and I was willing to wait around for him, be there for his needs. It didn't matter that he didn't think we had the same goals or ideas. We ended up dating for two more years before he proposed at my parent's request.

It was a beautiful ceremony.

It was a beautiful ceremony. And it was six years ago.

Because Edward was studying to be a doctor, a cardiac surgeon, I knew he would spend many hours away at work and I would spend many hours alone. Without my husband home with me.

We didn't really have a honeymoon. But we were able to buy a beautiful house to compensate for that.

Our sex life never really changed from how it was when we were just friends with benefits. We fit our intimacy in whenever we found time. But I noticed around year five of our marriage that things were even starting to lag from our limited time together. More often than not, if we did have sex, it was without foreplay, not that we really had much foreplay before this since some things made me uncomfortable, but it was to the point where, we just did the basic mechanics of sex. Whatever got us off was sufficient, as long as too much time wasn't required.

I didn't know what to do.

I tried getting us to watch porn together. But I couldn't help but blush a ridiculous amount at the sounds and images playing out on our big screen.

I tried role play, but that just seemed awkward and uncomfortable. Watching porn was less mortifying.

I tried to initiate sex by paying Edward surprise visits at work. I had hoped my showing up would make him turned on, that it would arouse him that I was willing to try to have sex in a public place.

It didn't. He didn't understand what I was trying to do. And I always turned ten shades of red every time I tried anything.

I didn't know how to explain any of it without embarrassment.

Then one night, I was stolen from sleep. I heard moaning. And the spot beside me was empty. Rising from bed, I walked to the den and found Edward seated at his computer, his cock hard in his hand. He was stroking himself, and moaning lowly, but keeping his eyes intently on the screen.

Looking up, I saw two women and one man. Instantly, I thought that's what he was after. Many men watch porn with multiple females because it is their fantasy. I figured that's what Edward wanted too. He wanted a threesome with two women.

I allowed myself to contemplate the possibility for a moment. I wondered if I'd be able to pull off such a thing. But then I knew I couldn't. There was no way I could be with another woman.

Just as I was about to make my presence known, I heard voices from the screen.

"Yeah, you like watching me fuck her?" the man asked. "You like knowing I'm fucking your best friend? Letting her suck my cock, having me taste her pussy before I slam this hard dick into her? Huh, baby?"

The other woman moaned, as she touched herself across her chest. "Yeah, baby. You two look so fucking hot together. Fuck her hard. Fuck her as hard as you fuck me."

I stood there in shock. This was not what I thought it was.

More images played out on the screen, and Edward's moans grew more breathless as he stroked himself harder, faster. He was so focused, he didn't even know I was standing right behind him.

"Unh! Jesus, so fucking good," the man groaned as he pumped hard against the woman on the screen. "Can I come in her, baby? Huh? Can I come in your best friend?"

The woman just moaned as she fingered herself, watching her boyfriend/husband have sex with her best friend. "Oh yeah. Fill her up. Fuck, so good!"

Onscreen, the man began to climax, though he pulled out slightly so that his ejaculate showed.

I was horrified. On the computer screen, a woman allowed her partner to have sex with her best friend! And she allowed him to come in said best friend.

All that would have been enough. But as the woman watched her partner climax, she too began to climax and that sent Edward over the edge. Spurts covered his hand and fell against his stomach as he groaned.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him to know I'd seen all this, so I did the first thing that popped into my head. I turned heel and rushed back as quietly as I could to our bedroom. I jumped into bed and closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing heart.

Moments later, I heard him enter our room. With my eyes barely cracked open, I watched my husband change his shorts before climbing into bed beside me. He was asleep in mere minutes.

That night I lay awake thinking about what I'd witnessed. I knew I needed to do something to get my marriage and sex life on track. But I was stumped.

Two weeks passed without any idea of what to think or do. And then I heard a new colleague discussing some club she'd gone to. She joked she had no idea it was a strip club when she and her friends had gone, but as it turned out, it was a gay strip club. She said they ended up having the best time.

Her words gave me an idea suddenly.

So that night, after preparing my husband's favorite meal, I propositioned him.

"Let's go to a strip club," I said as he speared fried potatoes onto a fork.

"What?"

"Let's go to a strip club," I repeated. "I know you like to go with Jazz and Emmett. Maybe we could go together?"

Edward wasn't completely sold on the idea. "Some guys like going with their girlfriend or wife. I'm more along the lines of I can't really enjoy myself as much because I will be wondering if I'm offending you in some way."

"You're not going to offend me. I think we should go. Do this together."

I pressed the issue a lot. And it took another few days of me suggesting it before he finally acquiesced.

I don't know what I was expecting. I mean I knew there'd be flashing lights and loud music. I knew women would walk around nearly nude and dance around a pole. I just didn't expect it to be so in my face.

Perhaps the worst part, was my husband was very friendly with the dancers.

One in particular.

As soon as we entered New Moon, one of the dancers, wearing only a g-string and no bra, though she was covered in glitter, came bouncing over. She quickly hugged Edward, rubbing her ample chest against him before kissing his cheek. A lipstick stain remained after she pulled her mouth away.

"Hey, baby!"

He greeted her warmly, hugging her in return, though I saw that he kept his hands strictly to her back.

"You just missed me on stage, but I would love to get some one-on-one time with you," she winked at him, her eyelashes batting up at him.

"Oh baby, I would love a private dance," he responded, his eyes dropping to her chest before returning to her face. It was then I realized, no one was paying attention to me. Gripping his arm, I forced his concentration back to me. "Oh shit. Right. Isabella, this is my wife. Tanya, this is Isabella. She's only been with the club for about a month now, but she's one of the best."

"Flatterer."

There was something in the way he said her name, the way it seemed to roll from his tongue like a caress. It occurred to me then that Edward was attracted to Isabella. I didn't think anything had happened between them, but the way he was looking at her, I could tell he wanted something to.

"Nice to meet you," I said over the loud music. No one could tell I was lying.

"You too!" Isabella replied, her teeth bright and white against the lights. "Your husband sure is fuckhot. You are one lucky bitch."

Isabella was laughing. Edward was laughing. I was not. Though I did pretend.

"What was this I heard about a private dance?" I asked, trying to cover my discomfort.

"Eddie here is my best customer," Isabella answered, her body still draped close to his. He didn't seem to mind that she'd called him Eddie.

"Is he now." I looked between the two, noticing he was watching her intently. "How much?"

That grabbed his attention. "Are you serious?"

I ignored his question, keeping my focus on the dancer. She gave me her price and then walked us both back to the private area. Leading us into a secluded booth, Isabella directed me to where I could watch. Apparently this was a thing. Men came to watch the women in their lives receive a dance and vice versa.

After getting myself situated, I watched my husband completely forget I was present. I watched my husband keep his eyes on this stripper, watched her move her body for him, touch him, and grind herself against him, until he was so hard I could see it from where I was sitting.

He was wearing dark wash jeans. I didn't understand it until just as Isabella was finishing her dance, I heard the low moan escape from Edward's lips.

"Fuck baby, that was quicker than last time," he murmured to her, though it was loud enough for me to hear.

Isabella just giggled. "Guess I'm just getting better."

We left the club shortly after that.

We did not have the sex I expected us to have that night.

We didn't have sex at all.

A week passed where I stewed within myself over what I'd witnessed. I sat and watched another woman grind all over my husband, to the point that he climaxed. I sat and watched it! He enjoyed it. He enjoyed her. He wanted her. He wanted her and he wouldn't want me until he didn't want her anymore.

I let another few weeks pass before I acted.

My husband still went out with his friends when he had the time.

We still had the same amount of intimacy as before.

Nothing had really changed.

So I changed.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?

We were sitting at the dinner table on one of his late night shift days. It was always rare for us to have these moments.

"What would you think about bringing another woman into our bedroom?" I asked. He had been chewing at that moment and most of his food was spit out.

"Are you serious?" he coughed.

"Completely," I answered. "I was just thinking. The way you were with that dancer, would you consider bringing her into our bedroom?"

He looked at me for a long while, disbelief all over his face. "You want to have a threesome?"

"Not exactly." I felt flustered. But I was running out of options. "I saw how you looked at her. I saw how she affected you. Maybe if you slept with her, you'd…."

"I'd what?"

"Maybe you wouldn't desire her as much."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I know about the porn." I didn't expect myself to admit that, but once I did, it was easier to make my case.

Looking back, I should have known better. Especially since our problems began long before Isabella appeared.

I don't know how I managed to get myself to return to New Moon. I don't know how I managed to get myself to talk to Isabella and ask her to have sex with my husband. While I watched.

"I'm not a whore," she told me.

"I'm not saying you are," I tried to soothe. "I just know my husband wants to fuck you."

"I'm a dancer. I strip for money, I don't put out for it."

"Of course."

Somehow I got to her.

I don't know how I did any of this.

But somehow, it was agreed upon.

Though Isabella also looked at me as though I were crazy.

We met at the Twilight Inn. It felt safer than my home, in my bed.

Things were awkward at first, as we all sat around the small table in the rented room. But then, I imagined that was a good thing. We made small talk, and then Isabella pulled out some liquid courage.

And then, it was as if I didn't exist again.

The first thing they did was kiss.

It wasn't a tentative kiss. It was tongue and breaths and heat.

I watched Edward undress Isabella slowly, his mouth trailing a path down every piece of skin that became exposed. He suckled her breasts, worshiping them with his hands and his mouth. And then she took over.

Pushing him back, Isabella made quick work ridding my husband of his shirt and pants. And then, sitting on her knees, she pulled his boxers down, revealing his leaking erection. He was so hard. Harder than I'd ever remembered him being with me. She didn't waste much time, taking him into her hand pumping him a few times before she took him into her mouth. He grunted loudly, his hand coming to grip her hair as he helped guide her movements.

"Fuck, Bella," he panted. She worked him for several long moments, and I watched the strain in his neck grow. "Fuck, baby, you're mouth feels so fucking good."

Isabella giggled and that made Edward groan. He'd never liked it when I gave him blow jobs. I wasn't too keen on them either.

I heard him tell her to stop, that he was too close and he didn't want to come that way. Rising from her knees, Isabella moved to the bed, scooting back. Edward followed. He pushed her knees apart, moving to rest between her thighs with his face so close to her pussy.

I watched him kiss his way up her legs, his hands moving along her body. Just as he reached her apex, his eyes met mine. They seemed troubled, like he wasn't sure this was right. Sitting in my chair, still at the table, I nodded. Dumbly.

He didn't hesitate after that. He always hesitated with me. The act always made me uncomfortable anyhow.

I heard the noises his mouth made against her sex. I heard her moans and his grunts against her wet flesh until she was crying out his name.

His mouth left a wet trail up her body, traveling over her belly, and to her breasts where he once again, lapped at them until she was squirming beneath him.

"Oh god, Edward. I need you inside of me," Isabella begged.

"Me too, baby," he offered back as he readied himself to feel her.

He didn't look at me this time. He didn't look at me as he took himself, bare in his hand and lined his cock up to her entrance. He didn't look at me until he pushed into her. Bare. They both cried out in pleasure.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

In front of me, my husband grunted and groaned, as his unprotected dick slid in and out of this stripper's body. I watched him resting on his elbows, his body grinding against hers, his mouth lowering to steal kisses from hers.

And then I watched him look at me, as he pushed her right knee out, opening her up to him better.

While he fucked her, he looked at me.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he told her but his eyes stared at me.

I couldn't look away. I didn't know what he was doing. Wasn't it enough I let him have this? Why was he torturing me like this?

"Ooh, Edward, your cock feels so good," Isabella crooned and it stole his attention back to her.

"I fucking love your pussy," he told her, his thrusts pushing deeper. "I wanna come in you. Can I come in you, baby?"

It was just like the video, only instead of asking me, the wife or girlfriend for permission, he asked her.

"Yes! Yes, I want to feel you come in me. Please," she begged him as her body began to quake.

As Isabella rode out the orgasm my husband was giving her, I watched him crash his mouth to hers, before his hips jerked hard and then forceful, as he spilled his seed deep into her.

I watched the way they looked at each other after their session was over. Rather than roll away, Edward stayed buried inside her, their mouths slowly moving against each other as tiny tremors rode through their bodies.

I left the room as fast as I could.

Edward didn't come home that night.

When he showed up the following day, I asked him where he was.

"I stayed at the Inn," he answered. "And yes, I was alone."

We grew further apart after that. I don't know what I was expecting.

No, that's not true. I thought if Edward slept with Isabella he would be done with her and want me again. All I did was make him resent me. I learned he no longer went to New Moon with Emmett and Jazz. I learned that rather than turning him on, like that video had, and have it directed at me, all it did was make him crave her.

She had been forbidden. She had been a fantasy. She was only a dream.

I made her a reality.

It's been nearly a year since that night.

Edward filed for divorce from me a month after it happened.

When he asked me why I thought it was a good idea, I told him I wanted to spice up our sex life. I told him I wanted to make him desire me. In the end, I realized for all the work I'd put in to trying to make him want me, I never really communicated that I thought we were having trouble. I just threw situations at him without explanation.

And he didn't know what to make of most of my ideas. He told me he cared for me, that he married me for a reason. But because I wouldn't talk to him about anything, wouldn't tell him what I liked and didn't like, wouldn't let him in, he thought everything was fine. He wasn't a mind reader, he reminded me.

He didn't watch the porn because it was what he wanted. He didn't go to the clubs at first because those girls were what he wanted. They were just stimuli. They were just something he did or watched because it took his mind off work. And I was never one for too adventurous and he didn't want to push my boundaries too far. So he fantasized and that was it.

But then things became strange with me.

And Isabella started working at New Moon.

She listened to him. She gave him tips on how to make his marriage work.

And even though he did want to sleep with her, and did find her attractive mentally as well as physically, he was perfectly fine having never known what she felt or tasted like.

"She would have been one of those 'if you ever get the chance with a celebrity' type thing. It was never going to be real. I was okay with that."

But I pushed it. And I let it be real.

I don't really hang out with the same people I did when I was with Edward, though I work with Jasper's wife. As it turns out, we really were not that suitable of a match. And something that started out as friends with benefits, really shouldn't have progressed further.

But I pushed for it. It wasn't right, but with as much as he was working toward, Edward was happy to have a warm body at his disposal, and he thought I felt the same about him. I should have wanted more for myself. But I foolishly thought I wanted him and that one day, he'd want me the same, so I let myself make it so.

He left me the house.

I heard he lives closer to work.

I heard he lives with Isabella.

They didn't see each other right away. And he never went back to New Moon – or so Alice, Jasper's wife tell me – but, he saw her one day, several months later, as he was getting off work. She'd injured her arm somehow in class, I guess she was studying to be a chef, and was heading to the ER. While he wasn't assigned to that department, Edward helped her out.

Things were awkward at first. I mean how do you go from watching someone dance naked for you, to fucking them in front of your wife and have everything be normal?

She doesn't strip anymore. I guess she works at some bookstore while she finishes up her degree. Can't be a doctor's anything if you're a stripper. And clubs don't really approve of the dancers dating the customers. His parents love her. Even with her colorful past. I hear they're set to be married in the fall of next year, after she's graduated.

He makes time for her.

She demands things of him.

She tells him what she wants, what she likes and doesn't like.

She makes him pay attention and respect her.

In turn, they love each other. They love each other more than we loved each other.

But I can't be mad at him. I made this bed. I still rest in it.

I don't know what I was thinking when I brought it up. I don't know what could have pushed these thoughts into my head that made me think this would be a good idea. But here I am.

Broken.

Alone.

Empty.

And it's all my fault.

Okay. So, what did you think? Not what I'd usually write. But like I said, I saw this gif on Tumblr and it got me thinking about a story. This was what came from that. Please drop me a review to let me know what you thought! Thanks : )