(Episode 7) Chapter 7: The Crappy Chapter
As Percy and Annabeth walk across camp, people look and and talk about them
Camper No.1: Look! That's Percy Jackson! He's the one that caused that bathroom explosion!
Camper No.2: Bruh don't tell me about diarrhea right before dinner!
Camper No.3: He didn't mean that kind of explosion...
Camper No.1: Yes thank you-
Camper No.3: ...he meant that Percy was jacking off, exploded, and left a mess all over the bathroom
Camper No.1: ...
Camper No.2: …
Percy: Dammit I wanna go home
Annabeth: But Percy, this is your home! It's the only home for dyslexic, ADHD kids like us. Oh and also because we're demigods
Percy: Demigods...that's insane
Annabeth: Is it? What's the things gods did the most in the myths?
Percy: Well they
Annabeth: Other than get into petty fights
Percy: They had lots of sex with humans. Wow Annabeth! I guess if they had sex with mortals in the myths, that must mean us being demigods is logical [does the confused black girl hand pose]
Annabeth: It makes perfect sense. I'm a child of Athena so I'm right
Percy: Are you sure it's not because you're a woman? (OOOH!)
Annabeth leaves. Percy heads towards Cabin Eleven, where he is approached by Luke
Luke: Here you go Percy, I stole you some toiletries from the camp store
Percy: Stole them?
Luke: I'm a son of Hermes: that makes me a kleptomaniac
Camper: Hey my wallet's missing!
Luke: Percy took it!
Percy: So Luke, what's all this stuff I hear from Annabeth about a prophecy?
Luke: Prophecy...did you say prophecy?!
Percy: Yeah. Should I talk to the Oracle or no Oracle?
Luke: Prophecy?! PROPHECY?! PROPHECY?!
Percy: Why do you say that?
Luke: Let's just say that a long time ago, something happened to me that might just make me betray the Gods and make a story that would take about 5 books to cover
Percy: Well any other person would be really suspicious and tell Chiron to put you in a straitjacket but Rick Riordan made me stupid so that fans would find me lovable for some reason so I'm just gonna ignore this.
Luke: Well it's time for dinner!
Luke leads Cabin Eleven to the Dining Pavillion which I'd describe if I were stupid enough to think you guys didn't already have an image of it in your head.
Chiron: To the Gods!
Everyone else: To the Gods!
Wood nymphs rush out carrying plates of food
Percy: Wow so many wood nymph laborers! How much do they get paid
Luke whispers into Percy's ear
Percy: Why they're practically slaves then!
Luke: You haven't even seen their pension plan yet
Percy: When do we get drinks?
Luke: Your magical cup will give you any drink you want...
Percy: This is the best thing ever!
Luke: ..as long as it isn't alcoholic
Percy: This is the dumbest shit ever
Percy notices everyone getting up to go to dump food in a big fire.
Percy: What are they doing?
Luke: Giving up a portion of the food for the gods. They like the smell apparently
Meanwhile at Olympus…
Zeus: It's dinner at Camp Half-Blood
Olympians: Yeah!
Zeus pulls out a giant flask, inhales from it, sighs deeply, his eyes turning red, then passes it on.
After dinner…
Dionysus: Alright you lil feckers, here are the facts as I see them: 1) Tomorrow is Capture the Flag the Ares Cabin is in possession of the flag; 2) Peter Johnson is the camp's new arrival
Chiron: [coughs] It's Percy Jackson
Dionysus: That's what I said, "Peter Johnson." Now get your asses into bed!
The End
Did anybody get that Spongebob reference?
Sorry for not posting in awhile guys; I was busy with schoolwork and it was tough writing this chapter to be honest