Wildebrams Season Six

Chapter 10: Get It Right (Transitioning)

By Wilde Abrams

== Early Monday Morning, WMHS Astronomy Classroom

Kitty strode down the halls of William McKinley high school towards a very notable room for her and inwardly groaned.

An hour ago Kitty had received a mass text message from Sam Evans, asking the other recipients and her to meet him in the Astronomy classroom during third period. Fortunately Kitty had study hall third period so she was able to safely skip that, and after a brief stop at her locker she headed to that all familiar room.

For a brief moment, Kitty considered the possibility that God was playing a cruel joke on her. Ever since she's allowed herself to be recruited back into Glee she's been forced to be close to things that reminded her of her former boyfriend Artie. The room that she was summoned to was the room where they had shared their first kiss, and had multiple meetings and make out sessions in when they were dating; and they'd had a heart to heart conversation about their breakup and current relationship their a week ago. It had barely changed in the last two years, and a whole flood of memories and emotions overcame her. She struggled to suppress them.

The previous afternoon she had attended engagement party for Santana and Brittany at her former teacher Mr. schue's home. Kitty was cautiously optimistic about the future and believed that she was eventually going to be able to become friends with Artie again in time. She had been very briefly reassured that Artie was really going to give her the time that she needed to get over her heartache from their break up and gradually become friends again. But unfortunately that had been short-lived. she was now beginning to have serious doubts as to whether he was really going to give her the time that she needed.

Every since she gone home from the event, the two of them had been texting back-and-forth; and it was becoming increasingly apparent that he still wanted to get back together with her and wasn't as patient as she had hoped he would be.

She put those thoughts on hold as she strode into the room and said, "This has better be important! I was planning to use this time-"

It was then that she noticed who else was in the room directly in front of her:

Artie.

Smiling at her.

She stopped mid sentence and took in the rest of the room. Artie and Mercedes were seated directly in front of her. Kurt and Blaine were also present, and Sam stood up front ready to address the group. She quickly took a seat, but elected not to sit next to Artie, a decision that seemed to surprise him.

"Hey, guys," Sam began, addressing the group. "Hey. Thanks for coming."

Still stammering. Sam had never really seemed that comfortable when placed in any sort of leadership position. It always came off forced to her.

"Oh, for the love of all that's sacred, what now?" Kitty asked, in an irritated tone.

"Uh, well," he continued, " I called you here today because of Rachel."

"Seriously?" Mercedes asked in disbelief, "I just finished mentoring that girl for, like, a week what could she possibly need now?"

"- Do you want to? -" Blaine began but was interrupted.

"- Her dad just sold their house," Kurt explained. "She has less than a week to get out. That house means everything to her. It's where she grew up. It's where she saw her dreams become a reality."

Kitty noded.

"Guys," Sam added, "this is a major moment for her. Okay? She's becoming a new person. Making one of the biggest transitions of all. One that we are all gonna have to make soon."

"Okay, just so we're clear," Kitty asked in her usual snarky tone, "We're still talking about Rachel, right?... Or are you announcing your new gender?"

She'd heard that Coach Bieste was supposed to be returning to McKinley today following her sex change operation. She wasn't sure what to think about that, but the whole school was buzzing about it thanks to Principal Sylvester.

"Oh, my God! No!" Sam reacted in disgust. "This is all about Rachel! Look, guys, she's growing up. We all are."

"So, what's the plan, Sam?" Artie asked.

Then Sam and Kurt looked shared a look and filled them in.

== Monday Afternoon, Glee Classroom, WMHS

"Okay, you guys," Rachel addressed the group, "let's get started on this week's lesson. It is called buckeye bull's-eye, featuring all artists from Ohio! Marilyn Manson and Dean Martin-"

Several students smiled at this.

"Actually, Rachel," Kurt interrupted, "there has been a slight change in plans."

"Kurt, you can't just change the lesson like that," Rachel told him.

"Well," Kurt responded, "sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you just gotta embrace it."

Then he turned and addressed the group, "That's why this week's lesson is … Transitioning.

He slid the whiteboard aside revealing the new lesson name.

"Changing. Charging forward."

Several students look at each other confused.

Kitty shoved aside her momentary disappointment about the fact that they were hijacking the Lesson the week that she might actually be able to sing Tainted Love or Beautiful People in Glee Club. Hopefully they would just be able to postpone it until next week.

"Rachel," Kurt continued. "It's come to our attention that you have some challenges with saying goodbye to your childhood home.

"Which is forcing you to say goodbye to your childhood and fully accept adulthood," Blaine added. "Or at least that's according to the very nice lady at the lima mental health clinic."

Sam and Blaine guided a very irritated Rachel into a chair, and sliding it across the floor to sit with the students.

"So to help Rachel with this new transition," Sam added, addressing the students, "we are throwing her a "farewell to Rachel's house" party, and everyone's invited."

Rachel finally smiled and gave in, sharing a look with Kitty and then Sam.

"It's going to be Friday night in Rachel's basement," he finished.

"You guys," Rachel told them, "this is very unnecessary but very sweet."

"Wait," Madison asked in disbelief, "so this lesson isn't - for us?"

"- It's for Rachel?" Mason finished for her.

"Yeah, so shut up," Kitty told them, and looked at Artie.

"Fetch me my wheel!" Artie said, wheeling up in front of the group.

Sam and Blaine walked off to the side of the room and wheeled over a giant multicolored carnival wheel painted different colors with the names of all of the glee students and alumni written on it.

"Thank you," Artie told them, and then he addressed the group again. "Welcome to wheel of musical fortune! (Applause) Thank you. Thank you. Everyone spins, and whoever's name you land on, you have to sing a duet with them at the party."

"All except for me," Sam reminded him. " 'Cause I told you I want to sing with Rachel. I don't want to chance it.'

"Fine," Artie responded, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Whatever."

"Can't we just pick names out of a hat?" Spencer asked.

Artie gave him an annoyed look, "Picking names out of a hat is so 2009..."

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Mercedes broke it and said, "Okay, I'll go first."

She stood up, said, "Luck be a lady tonight!" And spun the wheel.

Several people whooped before the wheel came to a stop. "Roderick!" She read. Then she looked over at the group and asked, "Which-which one? …"

"Uh, me," Roderick said sheepishly. "I'm-I'm Roderick."

"No, this is gonna be great," She told him confidently, "You're great!" She high walked over and sat next to him high-fiving him. "In fact I think I have the perfect song."

"Okay, my turn!" Kurt said as the group applauded.

He sprang over and spun the wheel which almost landed on Artie, but ended up on Blaine.

"Oh," Kurt said, obviously trying to play it cool. "Huh…"

'That thing was so rigged' Kitty thought to herself, but remained silent as the other people took their turns spinning the wheel.

Mason spun the wheel and landed on Jane. Both of them smiled sheepishly. Kitty had a hunch that there was something going on between the two of them.

Madison spun the wheel and landed on Spencer who just looked annoyed.

"My turn," Artie said. "But since everyone else is taken, that just leaves KITTY!"

He seemed particularly pleased, while she mumbled 'of course' under her breath in an annoyed tone. She had her sinking suspicion that the wheel had been a setup confirmed, but kept it to herself.

Everyone broke up and went off into corners with their partners to discuss their song choices for the rest of the hour.

Kitty sat off to the side with Artie discussing their schedules for the rest of the week. She glanced over to where Kurt and Blaine sat, pretending not to feel awkward. She overheard Blaine ask Kurt not to mention their duet to his loser boyfriend Karofsky. She smirked inwardly. Those two were so getting back together!

== Tuesday Morning, Artie's Bedroom, Lima Ohio

Artie was just finishing getting dressed when he decided to quickly check his email before heading out to begin another day of helping Rachel and Kurt with the new Glee Club.

So far things were going well, if a bit slowly in his other reason for being in Lima: Winning back the heart of the love of his life. He knew he was going to have to pick up the pace, because he didn't know how much longer he could convince his professors to let him keep missing class.

He had a big smile on his face when as he pulled out his laptop and signed into his email. He saw an email marked 'Urgent' and clicked on it. But when he saw what it said he saw what it said, the smile disappeared from his face.

"Crap!" He mumbled under his breath

== Tuesday Morning, WMHS Choir Room

Kitty sat next to Artie and Spencer in the front row apprehensively as they waited for the others to arrive for their morning rehearsal. Over the past few days she had been spending a lot of time talking and texting with Artie, and despite their chat the week before, two things had become painfully apparent. That he was intent on winning her back, and that he still didn't understand how deeply he had hurt her. She'd come up with a way that she hoped he would finally understand.

Rachel and Kurt entered the classroom along with Sam who took a seat with the students as the two 'teachers' addressed the group.

"As we explained a couple weeks ago," Kurt began, "with the old New Directions, traditionally each week the director chose a theme and assigned the students to perform a song based upon that theme by the end of the week. But we also had the tradition that students were invited to work on their own projects outside of those themes and perform them for the group when they were comfortable."

"With that in mind," Rachel continued, "before we get back to this week's getting ready for the party theme, Kitty has asked to share something. Kitty?"

Rachel and Kurt stepped aside and Kitty slowly rose to her feet and took her place in the center of the room. Glancing around she saw some confused expressions on the faces of her fellow Glee Club members and the present alumni, especially Artie who had no idea this was going to happen in spite of the fact that they had been talking quite a bit lately.

She put on a brave face and addressed the group, "This song is going to help me get out some feelings that I'm having a hard time expressing any other way." Glancing at Artie the look on his face told her that he was beginning to see what was about to happen.

"Oh, no… " he mumbled.

She glanced over at Brad, the piano player, whom they had finally managed to get back, and the opening chords of Phil Collins' Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) began to fill the room.

[ Kitty: ]

How can I just let you walk away,

just let you leave without a trace

When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh

You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,

when all I can do is watch you leave

'cause we've shared the laughter and the pain,

and even shared the tears

You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now,

Well, there's just an empty space

And there's nothing left here to remind me,

just the memory of your face

Oh, take a look at me now,

Well, there's just an empty space

And you coming back to me

is against the odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,

turn around and see me cry

There's so much I need to say to you,

so many reasons why

You're the only one who really knew me at all

Oh, so take a look at me now,

Well, there's just an empty space

And there's nothing left here to remind me,

just the memory of your face

Now take a look at me now,

'cos there's just an empty space, oh

But to wait for you,

is all I can do and that's what I've got to face

Take a good look at me now,

'cause I'll still be standing here

And you coming back to me is against all odds

It's the chance I've got to take

Take a look at me now (Oh, woah)

Take a look at me now

Oh, hmm

At the beginning of the song she was singing to the group while making occasional glances at Artie. But as the song progressed she began looking at him more and more, and by the end she was singing directly to him.

When the song was over Kitty barely kept her composure as she excused herself from the room; and Spencer gave Artie a dirty glare, and he felt about two inches high. Rachel followed Kitty out and Kurt just stood there, uncertain of what to do next as the new newbies looked to him for direction.

== Monday Morning, WMHS Girls Bathroom

Kitty burst into the bathroom, and barely made it into the largest stall - the handicapped stall - and locked the door before she leaned against the wall and sank to the ground before she succumbed to tears.

A few moments later Rachel entered the room and it didn't take long for her to track the sound of crying to the handicapped stall in the back of the bathroom. Fortunately classes were in session, so they were alone.

"Kitty...?" She asked tentatively.

"What?" Kitty asked back through the sobs and tears.

"Can we talk?"

"Talk about what?" The younger girl asked bitterly. "About how the coldest meanest bitch in McKinley High, just embarrassed herself crying over a stupid guy?"

"He's not a stupid guy," Rachel assured her. "He's the guy that you're obviously still in love with."

Rachel open her mouth again, but fought the urge to try to comfort her and tell the younger girl that she hadn't embarrassed herself, because they both knew that she had.

"But I shouldn't be!" She said bitterly. "He left me here all alone and moved on with his life, new school, new friends, other girls... I thought I was over him finally. I thought that I could finally move on with my life, but then he comes back and now he wants to pick up where we left off!"

"Kitty, can you open the door so we can talk?" Rachel asked.

Kitty slowly reached over and undid the latch without getting up, and Rachel entered and sat down next to her.

"I don't know what to do, Rachel." Kitty began again. "I really thought I was over him. But when I saw him again that day on the football field a whole wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks.

"I try to remain strong and cold, but deep down inside..."

Kitty wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Deep down you're still a girl who feels things very deeply," Rachel finished for her.

Kitty noded.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me regain my composure that day. All I could really do was go on the offensive like I usually do when I'm challenged, and hope for the best."

"She didn't say so at the time, but deep down I think Santana was secretly impressed," Rachel interjected.

Both girls stifled a laugh and then shared a few moments of silence before Kitty continued.

"When you recruited me back into glee, I know I knew it wasn't going to be easy being around him and things that reminded me of our past, but it's been so much harder than I thought it would be! I've tried to be strong, but I don't know that it would be this hard and I'm not sure how much longer I can do this, be around him every day."

She sniffled and wiped away a couple more tears before continuing.

"He seemed genuinely surprised that I was so upset," Kitty continued. "I just don't understand how he could not understand how hurt I was!"

"Kitty," Rachel began, "as I'm sure you've heard, I'm no stranger to drama and heartache. Some of it, in retrospect, I think I brought on myself; other times it was just the way things turned out. Back in high school, when there was glee club relationship drama, nine times out of ten I was involved somehow."

Both girls shared a small grin.

"Finn and I broke up and got back together more times than I can count. The Finn, Quinn, Rachel love triangle is still legendary around here from what I understand. We each did some very hurtful things to each other.

"But when it's all said and done, all that matters is that Finn and I loved each other very much, and Quinn and I made out peace years ago, as did Finn and Quinn."

She paused for a moment letting it sink in.

"Finn and I were broken up when he died," she continued, "but we knew that we loved each other and would eventually be getting back together. The last time I saw him, and one of the last time we talked, he told me that we were 'endgame'. At the time I was dating someone else and I didn't acknowledge it, at least not directly. But inside I knew he was right.

"We both thought we had all the time in the world to figure it out." Tears began to well in their eyes as they both remembered how wrong that was. Only a few weeks later Finn was dead. "We always get caught up in this petty day to day drama. But in the long run none of that really matters. What matters is how we feel about each other here." Rachel put the palm of her hand over her heart.

Rachel turned to face Kitty and looked in her eye. "I don't know for sure how you feel about Artie deep down. Only you can figure that out for yourself. But from what I can tell your feelings are deeper than maybe you want to believe. I think that what you need to do is do some deep soul searching and figure it out, because life's too short to dwell on the short term stuff.

"I've known Artie for almost seven years now. He's got his faults, but he is a really good guy, and I can tell you this: none of those other relationships made him as happy as you did. I know I was in New York obsessed with the chance to play Fanny Brice on Broadway, but I still kept in touch with my friends back at McKinley, so while I never really talked to you, I was aware of your relationship."

Kitty was surprised to hear this. She'd always assumed that Rachel had completely left her old life behind when she'd gone to New York.

"I can't tell you what to do here," Rachel continued. "What I can tell you this. Finn gave me the chance to get back together that day at Mr. Schue's almost wedding, and there hasn't been a day since he passed away that I haven't regretted not doing it. I would give ANYTHING, every every experience, every success, even playing Fanny, to spend five more minutes in Finn's arms, and to hear him tell me that he love me one more time."

Both girls had tears in their eyes again.

"It's too late for that now," Rachel finished. "I would hate for you to end up with the same regrets because it really hurts, and it's something I'm going to have to live with the rest of my life."

Rachel drew Kitty into an embrace. "Thank you," the younger woman whispered.

== Monday Afternoon, WMHS Choir Room

Artie wheeled nervously into the choir room and saw Kitty sitting next to Spencer, but elected not to sit next to her. He could feel the tension in the room after that morning's performance. While Kitty had not specifically said her song was about him, her body language had made it clear that it was; and, while it may have been his imagination, it felt like everyone was watching him giving him dagger eyes.

He'd skipped lunch today preparing what he hoped would be an appropriate musical response.

After Kurt announced that Alumni mentor Artie also had something to share, he cautiously wheeled himself up to the front and addressed the group.

"Apologies to the author of this piece," he glanced at Rachel, "but I think this song best expresses what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling."

He nodded to the band and Rachel's original song "Get It Right" began to play.

[ Artie: ]

What have I done?

I wish I could run

Away from this ship going under

Just trying to help

Hurt everyone else

Now I feel the weight of the world

Is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough,

And all that you touch, tumbles down?

'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take

Oh, how many times will it take for me

To get it right

To get it right

Can I start again

With my faith shaken

('Cause I can't go back and undo this)

I just have to stay

And face my mistakes

(But if I get stronger and wiser)

I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough,

And all that you touch, tumbles down?

'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me?

To get it right

So I throw up my fist

Throw a punch in the air

And accept the truth

That sometimes life isn't fair

Yeah, I'll send out a wish

Yeah, I'll send up a prayer

And finally someone will see

How much I care

What can you do when your good isn't good enough

All that you touch, tumbles down

Oh, my best intentions

Keep making a mess of things

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take?

To get it right

To get it right

As he finished the song, Artie looked over at Kitty, who now had noticeable streams of tears running down her cheeks. When she noticed that Artie and everyone else were looking at her she rose to her feet and sprang out of the room again.

Artie was about to go after her when he heard Rachel say, "Let her go. She needs the chance to compose herself before she's ready to talk."

Reluctantly, he nodded.

"Were the old New Directions this dramatic?" Jane asked.

"Worse," Sam, Rachel, and Kurt all said at once.

"Remind me to tell you about Rumours week sometime," Sam told her.

== Tuesday After School, WMHS Auditorium

Artie sat at the piano looking through some sheet music when Kitty walked in.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hey," she responded sadly.

"I'm glad you didn't forget or decide to blow off our rehearsal," he told her.

"This is about helping Rachel, which is more important than than anything going on between us," she told him. "If that means singing a duet with you, then I am going to do it no matter how uncomfortable it makes me, even knowing the wheel was probably fixed."

"Kitty," he told her, "of course it was fixed. It was fixed for everyone. But I don't understand why it would be difficult for you to sing with me ... or why you felt the need to embarrassed me with that song this morning."

"The fact that you apparently weren't paying that close of attention in our talk last week and still don't understand how much you hurt me is exactly why I sang that song! Artie, this isn't something that you can just apologize for and I'll immediately forgive you! I was devastated after our break up! For MONTHS! There is only one other event in my life that hurt me as deeply, and i'm not sure I ever really got over that either. I just buried it deep inside and tried to forget about it."

Artie, of course knew she was talking about being molested by her friends brother when she was in 6th grade. He was speechless until she continued several moments later.

"And for the last week you've been making it abundantly clear that you want to get back together with me, and I'm not even in a place where I can even completely forgive you yet, let alone actually consider getting back together. The fact that you haven't stopped to think about that makes me feel like you don't respect my feelings. How could I even remotely consider getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't respect my feelings?"

"I don't know what to say," he told her sheepishly. And he really didn't. It was like he was hearing this for the first time.

"And then on top of that," she added, "You try to blame the whole mess on me with your own song! How do you think it made me feel to hear you sing a song telling everyone that your whole life is falling apart because I won't forgive you so easily?"

"The song wasn't only about you," he responded.

She got a confused look on her face. That thought hadn't even occurred to her.

He signed and continued, "This morning I got an email from my professor at the Brooklyn Film Academy. I was in such a hurry to respond to Rachel's call for help and come back here to help out and fix things with you, I guess I was so overconfident in the short film I was finishing that I didn't spend enough time polishing it before turning it in. He wasn't impressed..."

Kitty just sat there dumbfounded for a few moments before she responded.

"Let me get this straight," she began, "after all the work we did to get you into film school, and all the work your mom and I did to get you to actually go, you aren't taking it seriously?"

"It's not that bad-"

"Not that bad?" She retorted. "He felt it was important enough to email you about it! After everything that's happened we aren't going to let you blow off your school work and flunk out!"

"I'm not flunking out," he told her. "It's just one project. I just need to meet with him about redoing or fixing it when I get back after the wedding."

"Well if that's all it is," she clarified, "how does it even compare to the mess you made of our relationship?"

He open his mouth to say something and then abruptly closed it again. It didn't. "I'm sorry, I guess I was just in shock and it was a knee-jerk reaction to feeling overwhelmed with everything. You're right, it's not even close to the same thing."

They sat there sharing an uncomfortable silence before she finally broke it. "Look, Artie, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I thought that I was over our breakup and that I had moved on. But your presence has brought out a whole slew of feelings that I thought were gone forever which makes me think that my feelings are deeper and more complicated than I thought.

"I know you want to get back together with me, and I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a part of me that didn't want that too, but we need to work on becoming friends again, not just decide that we are, before we can even think about a relationship, and the bottom line is that I don't trust you right now, and I need that back first.

"You keep saying that you understand and are going to give me the time that I need, but your actions keep telling me otherwise!"

He sat there stunned. He really had no idea that their relationship was that damaged.

"I see..." was all he could say.

"Like I tried to tell you last week, If you're willing to start with those basics and start rebuilding our relationship from the ground up, then I'd really like that. But if not, I understand. I know that I've thrown a lot at you and you might need some time to think about it-"

"No," he told her. "I don't need time to think about it. Our relationship was the strongest I've ever had, and I know that I majorly screwed it up. But I'm willing to do literally anything I need to fix it, even if it means starting with the basics of trust and friendship because you're worth it!"

Kitty sat there with a confused look still on her face, uncertain about whether he really finally understood or not.

"You said that last week," she reminded him.

"I know," he told her. "But I think I was in denial then, but I'm beginning to understand how much more complicated our respective feelings are … and how much I have hurt you… I'm going to back off and give you all the time that you need… "

Kitty wasn't sure if he finally got it, or if he was still fooling himself. But more than anything she wanted him to understand and finally get it, so she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt for the moment.

"Okay then," she relented. "We should get to work on our duet." She moved closer to be able to see the music he'd been looking at when she walked in.

"Yeah," he said, getting back to business, showing her the sheet music. "I've selected three upbeat songs that fit our voices."

She pulled her own selection from a folder and said, "I had my own ideas as well…"

And with that the two of them got to work setting the previous discussion aside for a moment.

# # # # #

Author's Notes: you know the drill … Please review if you like this and want me to continue. I've never gotten a lot of reviews, but I seem to be getting fewer and fewer and that makes me sad and unmotivated.